• Member Since 29th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 5th, 2013

Scarlet Dreams


T

Credit to Skysparkle on deviantart for the idea, and VillaCRaptor for the cover art! also deviantart.

Rated teen for brief use of the word damn.

Alternate Universe for ending.

Chrysalis is forced out of her home in Canterlot because Celestia deemed her unworthy of living there. She exiles her from the town and leaves her to her own devices. What will become of Chrysalis? Will she find a way home? Will she become bitter and untrusting?

Read and find out!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 10 )

I liked it... But mostly because I like changelings. I have to say I would recommend making your next fue- wait that's a word?- few longer, with an OC or two. I like OCs. If you need help on your next story, if you are going to make another one, just gimme a shout and I'll respond... Relatively quickly. Just sayin I cannot write a story, but I am a wizard when it comes to plot, characters, and ... Well just about anything else that pops up! Ok so so long for now, ma'am -or sir- I'm guessing... I am rather good at guessing...just gimme- never mind.

A moustache for you, good sir. Or madam. :moustache:

In fact, several:

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Mother of :trollestia:, First Post!

2718068
That would be ma'am.

And thanks for your input. This was just something my friend came up with and I didn't want to change it too drastically from the original concept.

Next story I write will have some OCs in it.

2718077 Ha I win, you did not get the first post! BWAHAHAHAHA it is the all holy return of Trollestia!!! :pinkiecrazy::trollestia::pinkiecrazy:

Jeez, Celestia, that wasn't very nice.....:fluttercry:

2718259>>2718198

you both get chicken, marshmallows and a tree. it's okay now :P
:scootangel::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::fluttershyouch:

2718517 you make no sense to me. Although I must admit, I usually make less sense... Pardon my damnable ADHD.

maybe you should have tried to explain more of the background behiind all of it. I mean the reader just gets bashed into the face with the fact that Chrysalis lives in canterlot as a filly, still lying on the ground, he gets stomped again with rather mean acting Celestia, then gets confronted with inconsistend storytelling of Chrysy snapping, 2 paragraphs later acting as if nothing had happened whatsoever,.

We then jump forth 15 years without even knowing what Chrysalis' plans are, where we have to asume that everything from season 2 ep 25/26 to that point has just happened. After that we Notice that Chrysails can remember everything an instant even if she only heard it once 15 years ago.

Also, Chrysalis is seemingly the only changeling in that universe.

well, there is one upside, though. I think the story itself has a quite interresting core Idea to it. I think It would have been better to expand it over some thousand more words.


TL;DR: the downfall is the pacing, take your time to write a story, at least if it´s meant to be halfway serious. And I hope you´d take this Story Idea serious, because it is quite interresting, at least to me.

have a cookie for the effort! *Faurana shoots a cookie at you*

2720738
Thanks for the feedback! I'll keep that in mind :D

:twilightsmile:

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