im not much of a writer so feedback is always welcome
You all know what happens when Pinkie Pie breeaks through the fourth wall, but what will happen when she shows Fluttershy how to. She may be sweet and inocent in Ponyville, but when she breaks through my computer, well let's just say she shouldn't be anywhere near a computer.
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what.... wha-
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
I want to drink brain bleach, but this.... can only be undone with alcohol.
It... it wasn't "bad".
You need to more thoroughly edit it, I saw at least two sloppy spelling errors that should have been caught the first edit.
The dialog is confusing, and you need to work on the timing for the jokes.
Other than that, I see potential. Work on it a little and I think it could be a hit.
It was a good story, just work more on the spacing, dialog, and spelling. I enjoyed the idea and a bunch of the jokes, plus breaking the fourth wall is my favorite concept
This is how i felt after reading this
whitezine.com/images/Mladen-Penev-MindFucked.jpg
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What the heck am I looking at Viking?
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I don't even know anymore
files.sharenator.com/i_was_violently_mind_fucked_RE_Superpowers-s319x360-165462.jpg
my inner grammar nazi has died
good job
But in all seriousness, what the frick did I just read? My brain... It burns... But I can see potential. Just please, please, PLEASE work on the grammar.
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I hope and feel that's made with photoshop.
Random as heck. Still, fluttershy is adorable as ever even when she destroyed the computer.
ROFL!
214625 me two anypony know of characters that break the wall like deadpool and pinkie
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You'll never know.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-UVI7JWormng/TwKc3VCHx1I/AAAAAAAAFXg/tLP3PhyKxLg/s1600/evil-overlord.jpg
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Animal Man.
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Sometimes the most simplistic of images are the most appropriate for the situation.
So yes whoever made this was either on crack or a genius.
So they also have my regards.
i dident like it
hey guys thanks for the feed back.......i don't know how many more im going to do im really not good at writing i like picturing things in my head and sometimes it just doesnt come out right
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For me i kinda wonder that if it is real...What did he do with the cow brain afterwards? that's something i would wan't to make sure that was deposed of carefully less you have to explain to someone that it was all for a epic internet meme and not that you were into doing cow brains
The things we do for the internet.
Y U no indent?
Seriously though, 'You' being the narrator is a clever way to break the forth wall. That's the way I precived it, anyway. You were not only 'you' in the story but also the narrator with in the text. Only thing that bugs me is that they never actually give you any suggestions for ideas XD.
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ya lol it would help i feel that the people that post on my stories are just bored and need something random to do and i just happen to be in the way
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Who ever said it was a cow brain?
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It's either cow or pig i would guess by the size.
And if you had a job handling human remains and decided to do lil funny stuff like that you wouldn't have that job to long.
Some editing, a splash of paint, and gratuitous use of a wrench and I'd really like this. But I'm a tad on the biased side from writing "Ponies on Ponies" and my new story about interviewing Princess Luna called "One Thousand Years on the Move."
For now I'll be watching this, it gets on thumbs up or thumbs down from me.