• Published 12th Feb 2012
  • 2,471 Views, 25 Comments

Fluttershy's reaction to the fourth wall - lucythelucky



If you thought Pinkie Pie was bad........

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8
 25
 2,471

...uhm...oh my...

Sunday morning and nothing to do. Massive writers block on my last story. Maybe i could ask Pinkie for help? Wait, last time she made my computer crash. Hmmm. Maybe Rarity? No she tried glueing ribbon to my screen. Ok, without letting Pinkie through i can ask her to help me.
Hey Pinkie? You there? I need some help.
"Oh hi there what you doin-Ouch"
Pinkie i made it so you couldn't get through the glass.
"Well what fun is that? Why won't you let me through? Is it because i broke your computer? I promise not to do it again, i Pinkie promise."
I said no Pinkie. I just have writer's block and i need some ideas. I'll make you a deal, you can come through if you bring someone with you. I don't need you causing any mayhem in this world. But, you have to listen to them okay? And to me, when i tell you it's time to go back you have to go.
"DEAL! OH, OH CAN I BRING FLUTTERSHY???!!!! HUH, HUH, PLEASE SHE'LL BE SO GOOD AND I'LL LISTEN TO HER. PLEASSSSE??? SHE'S" pinkie...." NEVER BEEN THROUGH THE WALL..." Pinkie...! "PPPPLLLLLEEEEAAAASSSEEEE????????"
PINKIE!!!
"What?" Yes you can bring her i think that would be a great idea. It'll be nice to hear some ideas from her. I'll be right back i have to go do something. I'll let you both through when i get back ok?
"Oki doki lok-" I get it.

Ok i'm back.....where are they?
"HERE WE ARE!!!!" Pinkie how many times do i have to tell you not to hide behind the windows. Hi Fluttershy. it's nice to see you.
"It's nice to see you too. I'm glad i can help. Uhm...so...how do we....umm ...get through?" just follow Pinkie. She knows were she's going.
"Umm...ok."
njisvfdpvhnue9fjndi kn nice landing..... you can get off my keyboard now....
njjjjjjhuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy877xfddr54 ok now stay off the keyboard.

so what no- wait, why is my speech in quotaions?
cause we hear each other through our minds.
how will your readers know who's talking?
oh i think they can te-
JUST TO MAKE SURE I WANT TO TALK IN ALL CAPS
Pinkie, no because it will make it seem like you're yelling.
BUT I'M NOT YELLING. i know that but how are the people reading this supposed to know that?
Fluttershy please be careful..... :) HEY IT'S A SMILIEY FACE!!! Pinkie if you dont stop with the caps lock im sending you back. OH REALLY HO- just like that
"hey that wasn't very nice" i told you to listen to me
"fine then i'm going back to ponyvill it's boreing just being insidea screen." fine be like that then. "I WILL" See you yelled that. thats what caps lock is for. anyways, do you think you can help me Fluttershy.......Fluttershy? Wait....no dont press that......wa-






Fluttershy you shut down my computer. at least i saved mt work.....
Oh....did i?....i'm sorry....i was just wondering what it did. What does this buttin do?
those are the function keys they make my screen do things so i dont have to move the mouse
oh.....i see.....
Fluttershy i'll be right back i have to go run a quick errand. Please be carefull with the keyboard.
ok.....will you be long?
no about five minutes
ok....see you....hmm i wonder what these two buttons do oh my.....oh.....oh dear......uummmm......maybe if i do this....... oh that didnt help.....vhufijasoiewi8uewgewhjbfjobroj...oh dear.......eeeekkk.......i better go...oh how do i get back.......maybe i just-
ok running into the screen didn't help......wait.....why is the screen black......oh no......the author is going to be so mad at me.......dededtgtgdedegtgtdedegtg.....oh maybe i should pace off the keyboard..........
Fluttershy i'm ba-........did you try running into the screen?
oh please dont be mad at me.....i'm so sorry
it's ok my work is still there. would you like me to send you back? i have to take my laptop to the repair shop. there you go you won't be able to see me, i hope you can find your way back.
"oh yes, i will. thank you for letting me help. I'm so sorry i broke your computer."
it's ok. i got to go the repair shop closes in an hour see you later. "bye"




and that mom is what my day was like

Comments ( 25 )

what.... wha-

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? :derpyderp1:

I want to drink brain bleach, but this.... can only be undone with alcohol.

It... it wasn't "bad". :facehoof:
You need to more thoroughly edit it, I saw at least two sloppy spelling errors that should have been caught the first edit.
The dialog is confusing, and you need to work on the timing for the jokes.
Other than that, I see potential. Work on it a little and I think it could be a hit.

It was a good story, just work more on the spacing, dialog, and spelling. I enjoyed the idea and a bunch of the jokes, plus breaking the fourth wall is my favorite concept :pinkiehappy:

214681

What the heck am I looking at Viking? :rainbowhuh:

my inner grammar nazi has died
good job

But in all seriousness, what the frick did I just read? My brain... It burns... But I can see potential. Just please, please, PLEASE work on the grammar.

214681

I hope and feel that's made with photoshop.

:unsuresweetie:wow that is good my :my reaction::rainbowhuh:

Random as heck. Still, fluttershy is adorable as ever even when she destroyed the computer.:fluttercry:

214625 me two anypony know of characters that break the wall like deadpool and pinkie

215225
Animal Man.

215247

:rainbowlaugh: yeah it's the internet so idk but i do give whoever made it props on going there.

215477

Sometimes the most simplistic of images are the most appropriate for the situation.

So yes whoever made this was either on crack or a genius.

So they also have my regards.

hey guys thanks for the feed back.......i don't know how many more im going to do im really not good at writing i like picturing things in my head and sometimes it just doesnt come out right

215574

For me i kinda wonder that if it is real...What did he do with the cow brain afterwards? that's something i would wan't to make sure that was deposed of carefully less you have to explain to someone that it was all for a epic internet meme and not that you were into doing cow brains :facehoof: The things we do for the internet.

Y U no indent?

Seriously though, 'You' being the narrator is a clever way to break the forth wall. That's the way I precived it, anyway. You were not only 'you' in the story but also the narrator with in the text. Only thing that bugs me is that they never actually give you any suggestions for ideas XD.

215904

ya lol it would help i feel that the people that post on my stories are just bored and need something random to do and i just happen to be in the way:unsuresweetie:

215730

Who ever said it was a cow brain?:pinkiecrazy:

216713

It's either cow or pig i would guess by the size.

And if you had a job handling human remains and decided to do lil funny stuff like that you wouldn't have that job to long.

Some editing, a splash of paint, and gratuitous use of a wrench and I'd really like this. But I'm a tad on the biased side from writing "Ponies on Ponies" and my new story about interviewing Princess Luna called "One Thousand Years on the Move."

For now I'll be watching this, it gets on thumbs up or thumbs down from me.

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