One day, Rainbow Dash had had enough of Twilight Sparkle's excessive rules and worrying, and made a decision.
Dash: "Oh for buck's sake! Here!" She shoves a bottle of vodka into Twilight's mouth and makes her chug it "THERE!"
Pinkie: "DASHIE!"
Dash: "Look, this is the easiest way to get her to relax! And the fastest! You know she'd just overcomplicate literally everything!"
 Twilight: "BWAH! Rainbow Dash! What the Tartarus is wrong with you?!"

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The Royal Guard cannot be everywhere. Therefore, keeping Equestria safe involves private contractors. So there are three orders of ponies that most ponies do not interact with on a day to day basis: The Monster Hunter Orders of Equestria.

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There are monsters so hated, so reviled by ponies that even thousands of years after they vanished, many ponies feel horror just looking at their pictures. For they represent dark times, well before the founding of Equestria. When all of ponykind was subjugated under a horrific, intelligent and powerful beast.

According to the Ancient Chronicle of Harmony:

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Given how many Human in Equestria stories there are, it's inevitable that certain patterns will pop up: Anon the Human, 20-30 years old, who just chills out and often gets laid. You can do this well, but there is so much more you can do with this concept. And while I've seen it a few times, here's a different take on it with Andrew Shepherd as a stand in:

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Every year, on her birthday, Princess Twilight Sparkle receives a visitor in a funny blue box. The Doctor, or Doctor Whooves. Every year, at the same time. They have tea, maybe a jump to another time or place, and then they return.

Finally, a thousand years after the events of the MLP Finale, Twilight finally asks the question.

Twilight: "... How do you do it?"

Doctor: "Hm?"

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Twilight wants to learn more about Earth Pony magic. She hears about an Earth Pony convention that's rather exclusive where many experts in Earth pony magics do meet. She gets to go because she's a princess and she's best friends with Pinkie Pie and Applejack, whose families go to the convention every year. It's for magic demonstrations and tournaments. Rainbow Dash gets dragged along.

Dash: "Ugh... This is gonna be soooo boring."

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I just put together a short list of a few types of Undead (or close enough) that might work in Equestria. And allow you some interesting enemies to deal with:

Here are a few undead types that could work in Equestria:

-A Lich. A body with the soul forcibly bound to it and locked onto this plane of existence. The physical body still deteriorates though so it's not a pretty picture.

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I enjoy stories where Spike learns to go Kaiju mode on command. Seems like it would have been very useful in more than a few situations. Also perhaps hilarious.

As an example...

- - -

A familiar scene: Tirek the Centaur has imprisoned Twilight Sparkle's friends, as he and the Princess of Friendship face off in the Badlands. Some distance away, Spike the Dragon is watching on, feeling helpless.

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Let's say that Twilight Sparkle's battle with Starlight Glimmer produced one more timeline: One where things didn't exactly go wrong, but they did go very differently.

Twilight in this case gives Rainbow Dash a boost to get through Starlight's interference. The Sonic Rainboom still happens, which is good. The bad news?

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Hey, all! Long time no post...

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The things Fluttershy finds scary are hilarious.

Oh, and Angel Bunny proves once again he is a super villain, and only Fluttershy keeps him in check (but bitch better have his carrots).

Oh, and this was the scariest thing in the episode.

I have occasionally heard people assert that I am a good writer. This assertion is not very accurate, but I have enough of an ego not to correct it, most of the time.

I think one explanation for my seeming competence/adequacy is that I am a selective writer. When I write something that is bad, I have enough sense to either immediately shelve it, or post it on an alt.

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I've been unable to do much of anything over the past week. Our beloved Roxy passed away on Tuesday.

Jewel blames himself unfairly for her death. It's been a huge struggle for him, so my concern has been more for him than anything, but I do miss her dearly.

We love you Roxy. Au revoir.

Thanks to Big Mac, Spike and Discord's O&O sessions, Twilight gets the idea to try training and simulating different scenarios for the Elements of Harmony and their allies to Live Action Role Play. And of course, one of those is What If Twilight Turned Evil?

Twilight: "BWAHAHAHAHA! BOW BEFORE ME, PITIFUL MORTALS! KISS MY HOOVES! I AM NOW YOUR QUEEN!"

Pinkie: "Wow Twilight, you're really taking to this!

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There's an eternal question throughout the fandom, with many different answers: "What do Ponies do with their poop?" But has anyone tried to make a plot out of it? Well... If they have, I don't know about it. But here's my take on this:

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So despite my job being crazy (and mentally exhausting), the good news is that I have a job interview tomorrow, but that's not why you're here now is it? cuz nobody cares about my struggles... that's a joke.

Anyway...

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Things are slow since the semester recently started and we also got a pet rabbit named Roxy.

Pretty much this. No: exactly this.

I'm in the current minific Writeoff with only one little entry, but I'll be posting it as soon as the Writeoff ends (probably in two weeks, since I expect it to make the cut).

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