Well, as I've recently discovered, I can't write someone, who isn't really evil, but extremely unpleasant and mean. I honesty can't find it in myself to think of terrible and hurtful things to say to someone.
It annoys me as an author, so I must ask for the help of you fine folk.

How to be an asshole?

2108238
Just follow me for a couple of days and take notes.

2108238
Troll.

That is all.

2108238 Be the person who wrote this:

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I find trolls most entertaining, but I lack the ability to understand how they can get the mindset to insult people so easily and with such imaginative wording.

2108238 have him be very sarcastic and kind of jaded.

2108238
Not sure about how to right a straight-up asshole, BUT the BronyWriter does a pretty damn good job with TD in his story No, I Am NOT A Brony, GET ME OUTTA EQUESTRIA!!!. Give it a read; It might help you at least get an idea of where to go.

2108238
read my story scootaloo's mater and you wil understand a character which is so evil that my readers want to kill him
evil-something which goes against our basic idea of something we need to protect

2108238
There is no "how to be an plothole"
You just are or you aren't. An ass is someone who really doesn't give two hoots and knows he doesn't. But he's also a person and will want a need things like anyone else and not be a total badass, nail-chewing Discord-punching teenager.

It's not always about being mean too. If someone's sense of duty is stronger than his devotion to his friends or family, he can be considered an ass by some merit. Vice-versa. It's all about perception:

2108238 Base him/her off of this guy:

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AAAAAAATTAGTGAGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!??#?!#

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There's actually a few books sold by Barnes & Nobles that do can teach you the basics to trolling (puns, dirty jokes, etc.,)

The Little Black Book of Dirty Jokes
Punning 101: How to have a barrel o' fun with a barrel o' puns
An Idiot's Guide to Trolling

I also think some copies may be found on eBay for pennies on the dollar.

2108279
Avid fan of that series, but even then I don't want to be a copy-cat, since that is the closest I can probably get by 'studying' his stories.

2108238 To understand an asshole, you must observe an asshole.

Okay, now that the Confucious bullshit is out of the way, here's the straight dirt.

The asshole is self-absorbed. The asshole steps on everybody around him. The asshole always wants his way, and anyone who doesn't bend to his will is dog shit. The asshole doesn't give a damn about other peoples' feelings. It's all about him. The asshole will cut off a car full of children in traffic with no regard for their safety. The asshole will smoke in a public place. The asshole cuts in line at the express lane in the grocery store and has more than 10 items. The asshole uses his phone in places he isn't supposed to and is very loud about it. Anyone who criticizes the asshole gets cut down, and cut down hard.

Some examples:

Dude: Uh, scuse me, you kinda cut in front of me in line...
Asshole Yeah? Write a fuckin' letter to Congress, you whiny little bitch.

Asshole *talking during a movie*
Dude: "Uh, scuse me. Mind not talking during the movie?"
Asshole: "Mind keeping your nose outta my business, fuckface?"

Soccer Mom: "Sir? Would you please not use foul language in front of my children?"
Asshole: "Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Yeastcunt."

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Well, I've been writing Blueblood into his role as a dick head towards those of a lower social status, you might want to take a look if you're going for someone that believes themselves higher up than others (he and Celestia are talking about Rarity):

"That's quite the request, Celestia." Blueblood remarked as the door ahead of them was held open by the guards.

"I know, but it's of the utmost importance to me."

They passed through the threshold. Blueblood waited for the doors to close behind them before continuing, "I see, although quite frankly just the thought of having to be anywhere near one of those... peasants again makes me nauseous."

Celestia gave a small sigh, "I won't force you to do it, Blueblood, but I can't think of anypony anywhere near as suited to the task as yourself."

"I suppose that much is true..." He grimaced briefly, "She has a penchant for working with gems and crystals, yes?"

"That's correct, though nowhere near what you can do."

"Naturally. It's more than a little ironic, don't you agree? The means to attain wealth and status are literally affixed to her forehead, yet she remains in that disgusting backwater of a town. Then again, I suppose she's not entirely to blame. One can't really blame a pig for wallowing in filth; it's part of the loathsome creature's very nature, after all."

"Blueblood," Celestia allowed a warning tone to creep into her voice, "please, you know I don't share your disdain for the lower classes; and especially not for those six."

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I have a faint feeling that the evil guy isn't all the readers hate in that story...

2108238

This is an example. I do not actually mean what is said in said example.

[example]You don't have it in you to be mean? Must explain why "losternator" is right under 'bitch' in the dictionary.[/example]

Assholes often take what is said of or by their target and twist it into an insult. Assholes are also keenly aware of what their target wants, and do as much as possible to keep that away from them; like if you're visibly in a hurry at the store, then the asshole clerk decides to 'accidentally' drop stuff often, or accuses you of shoplifting and has you escorted to the back, all because they can.

Assholes are great at wordplay from years of practice, and they easily slip between their asshole mask and 'darling little angel' mask in the blink of an eye. Keep this in mind; it's endlessly frustrating for the target when the asshole is a dick when the boss/teacher/captain/parent are looking away for a moment, then when they turn back all they see is the target accusing such a darling angel of making racist jokes.

As you can see, assholes are also great at timing their insults. They can read the target and tell when they've struck a nerve. They're aware of who's listening (which is important when the asshole wants to humiliate the target).

Generally, assholes are any combination of crass, clever or condescending. I hope I explained it well enough, friend. Just boil down the asshole into a science, then your unfeeling scientist side can do all the work.

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Believe it or not, the character is Blue Bloods granddaughter.

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i wouldn't say that

2108238 Just write me.

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I'm inclined to disagree; my most popular story, My Little Splatterhouse: Friendship is Blood, Guts, and Gore was based off another story, Monster, but takes an entirely different approach and plotline.

More or less, its about what you do with the information you get, rather than trying to skate around being a copycat..

2108238

Well there are plenty of different schools of douchebaggery to choose from.

Shall it be the Gaston douchebaggry? Blackadder douchebaggery? Heck you could even use Trixie douchebaggery.

All jerks usually share the same characteristics that make them appear arrogant, critical, closed to other peoples thoughts, and generally stubborn and oppressive.

A douchebag will usually prey on the protagonist's most superficial shortcomings.

A good way to make someone seem like a douche is to make the reader sympathize with the protagonist, give the protagonist a goal, and then place the douchebag between the character and their goal at every turn. Whether by the douchebags Intention or not. (It's sometimes more annoying if it's unintentional.)

Shall re call it, Team Rocket douchebaggery?

2108238 What might help you to write a character who is just awful is to imagine them getting what they deserve. Better yet, write it.

2108238 Watch "Dan Vs." that should help

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...
...
(No offense)
If you wish to add to the bright and helpful gentlemen of this discussion, please, spell my fucking name correctly or at least get a parent to supervise your six-year-old vagina.
...
Did I do well, master?

2108238
Having strong but poorly thought out opinions and feeling that (whatever thing they care about) is more important than the well-being of other people. Being certain that their own feelings and opinions are of the utmost importance, while the feelings and opinions of others are to be laughed at.
Do you have a particular character in mind that you want to write? If so, what is their role? What do they like and dislike? Whatever it is, give them a bad reason for it which they believe is incredibly persuasive, and make them immune to evidence or argument that shows otherwise.
Have them strongly believe that nothing they do that hurts others is important or does any real or lasting harm, and that anyone who thinks otherwise just needs to grow a thicker skin. Of course they're not hurting anyone - they're just having a bit of harmless fun! Or it was the victim's own fault for not being quicker/smarter/stronger than them, and they were just teaching important lessons about life.
For example.

2108238

Sorry, couldn't resist...

2108428
Ohhh, watch out now, We Gotta Badass Ova' Here!!!

2108428

You got the crass down. But there are many varieties of pooppuckers, to varying degrees. Faux politeness and endless criticism is the flavor of an asshole in power; vulgarity and physical intimidation of the schoolyard bully (Diamond Tiara is not quite this, though), but these types usually don't serve a meaningful purpose in the long run. Some of the most grating cheesegraters there are never say a single bad word or throw a single insult; they merely undermine the hero for their own amusement. Just consider where this asshole drops its load, be it a porta-potty or a golden throne, then you have made the next step.

Ultimately, you want the reader to despise this character. How you make this so very much depends on the kind of story you're writing.

2108238 Ways of writing an asshole depends on the character. A good idea might be to figure out what your character dislikes, and then have her express her dislikes in incredibly rude ways that are demeaning to those around her.

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Beau-ti-ful.

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Dislikes anything but smothered in gold and doesn't praise her every three seconds. Indescribable dislike towards humans, and everything they are involved. To give you a better idea, Blue Bloods granddaughter.

2108525
BLUEBLOOD REPRODUCED!?!?!?!

2108238

Relax, remind yourself it isn't real, and try to enjoy being outrageous.

Personally, I love writing that kind of character - Diamond Tiara, Blueblood, etc - because they provide ample opportunities to be hilariously over the top.

At the same time, try to keep in mind that assholes are people too. They still act in a way that makes sense to them. Try to get into that mindset.

2108639
Kinda what I was going for. I just have an oddly strong sense of karma that bends into my writing as well. Karma's a bitch, and she's always watching...

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Me, I prefer redemption via long-term character development and slowly revealing their more sympathetic sides. I'm not a very vendictive fellow, and I usually end up liking these characters too much to bare hurting them.

2108748
I've never written a series long enough to do that. I'm getting there, but recently I haven't done much in the sense of continuation.

Play Borderlands 2 and listen to every word Handsome Jack says. Every. Single. Word.

2108238 Mike Thorton is the is the ponciest ponce that ever ponced past a poncing parlour.

2110164

2108238
My personal view on what defines an asshole is that they are cowards (meaning that they are all bark and no bite), they're excessive name callers, and they're "pack runners" (they travel in numbers).

In order to write a believable antognist, two things are important to remember:

First, no one really believes themselves to be evil. In their own minds everything they do is right, or at least justified.

Second, what usually makes them tick is a lack of empathy. Other people simply are not real to the average "***hole". Imagine that life is a video game. You play the game and over time find that there different ways to do things. Why would you care about that character you just ran over? Oh look, if you press these buttons that one cries, and that one gets mad! What kind of other reactions can you get? How much can you get away with before someone stops the game? Will one of these characters fight back? That would be fun!