Since the rediscovery of the Elements, the reputation of the Bearers has been slow to spread -- but it has spread. And so some ponies are now aware that if they ever truly want to know what an animal is thinking, all they need to do is go to Ponyville, approach the cottage on the settled zone's border, and request a consultation -- whereupon the pegasus who lives there will typically do everything she can to turn them away.

After all, most ponies really don't want to know that their favorite companions are, at heart, complete morons.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.)

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This story is a sequel to Post Negative Comments Only

He's been reassigned so many times as to have a file thicker than his armor. There are ponies who doubt his ability to cross a room without creating a disaster, and he's one of them. Banishment to Moon is in fact too good for him. He's the single least suitable member in the history of the Crystal Guard, and history had better be prepared to take on eternity if it's ever going to see him surpassed. Because Flash Sentry starts every morning with a silent declaration of I'll get fired today and goes to sleep on I'll be fired tomorrow.

Or maybe that's more of a prayer.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. This story takes place after the events of Post Negative Comments Only, so reading that one first is highly recommended.)

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Rarity tends to embrace innovation: after all, a pony who wishes to stay on trend must move with the times. And she loves anything which gets rid of dirt. So when she sees a new kind of shower at an expo, she becomes the budding company's first customer. Because what could be more important than cleanliness?

The common sense required not to be a new product's tester. That's much more important.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.)

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There are certain responsibilities which come with being a Princess, and Twilight's still learning about most of them. She's slowly adjusting to meeting diplomats, attending ceremonies, and hosting functions. However, being on the receiving end of the scheduled, contractually-obligated kidnapping came as something of a surprise. And she really doesn't understand why she's supposed to cooperate with it.

Her kidnapper's starting to become a little frustrated.

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For a thousand years, there was just Celestia. Then Cadance appeared, Luna returned -- and now Twilight has ascended. There are ponies who are very curious about just what happened, why -- and how. Especially the how. Twilight herself is on that list, a freshly-minted princess with far more questions than answers, about to face a brand new one: what truly makes an alicorn?

And what happens if it goes wrong?

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

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Cover art by Harwick.

Crossing Guard works in Equestria's Immigration Department: among other things, he serves as the final check on whether a non-pony can take up residence in Canterlot. It's not a simple job, especially given the follow-ups when a new resident or citizen-in-waiting inevitably gets into trouble. But Gerald Gristle is an exceptionally calm applicant, Crossing's tired from a long day, and so he allows the griffon to begin the five-year process, with the announced food supply business set to open two weeks in.

Which is when Crossing finds out just what kind of food the griffon is supplying.

After all, carnivores and omnivores have to eat too...

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group -- but can be read as a stand-alone, and no knowledge of the other stories is required. New members and trope edits are welcome.)

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It's one of the highest services a pony can aspire to.

Some ponies shouldn't aspire that high.

Audiobook performance by ObabScribbler.

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Twilight's just received her official government escort license, which allows her to legally take on passengers during a teleport. Unfortunately, the fee was hideously expensive -- enough to completely wipe out all her spare bits. And there's a major purchase coming up which she refuses to put off. So what better way to raise the money than by giving her freshly-approved skill a workout? After all, it's winter, it's cold, ponies will get home all the faster, and since Twilight knows what 'escort' means, so will everypony else.

It's probably best not to bet on that last part.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group -- but can be read as a stand-alone, and no knowledge of the other stories is required. New members and trope edits are welcome.)

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Current cover art by Harwick: please contact him for commission rates. Original cover art by EquesTRON.

Seriously. Why?

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Twilight has just put a crack in the library's front door.

Twilight has damaged government property.

Twilight has been in Ponyville for less than a moon.

Twilight has to fix this before anypony of importance finds out and word gets back to the Princess, which means Twilight is going to be doing all the work herself in the name of desperate secrecy.

Twilight is screwed.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.