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I am six.
As thoughts went, it took up a lot of space, and so there was a way in which Twilight's current travel situation could be viewed as a positive. She didn't have to worry about little things like interruptions, intrusions, somepony saying exactly the wrong word (and doing so at the exact split-second before she figured everything out), ponies asking for blessing... any of it. She arguably needed some time to herself, some space, and she'd been granted both. The method of acquisition, however...
She hadn't left the valley immediately. Twilight had stayed long enough to silently watch one additional exercise (and wound up having to dodge some of the dirt clods which had enough momentum to reach the top), in the name of keeping her promise. Then there had been a little private time with -- Tish... in order to make sure Discord had been treating her well (a concept which took some getting used to), that there hadn't been any major problems in dealing with the palace staff, and that things were generally coming along as well as could be expected during the first stage of adjusting to... everything. The conversation convinced Twilight that there were no immediate disasters to deal with, and so she'd left with a promise: if there were no missions and she could coordinate schedules, she would come back in a week or so, accompanied by at least one other Bearer.
The mare had smiled. Nuzzled her, the nuzzle meant for friends, something Twilight had watched the taller mare practice over and over again within the agony of memory. And then she'd gone back down into the valley to spend time with her teacher, while Twilight had headed back to Canterlot. The last sound she'd heard before passing the ridge had been laughter.
Tish had a good laugh.
But there had been a little more traffic on and above Canterlot's streets, with not all of it willing to let her pass in peace. That had been followed by the train, and for the trip to the capital, Twilight had used one of the earliest departures: something which had seen her in a car with a familiar conductor and a few commuters heading to work. The ride back had found her ticket accepted with stun by a pony who'd never seen her before, had no idea what the protocol was supposed to be for an alicorn riding the rails, and so had decided the safest thing he could do was invent it on the spot.
It was early afternoon: not a heavy travel time for those taking the train from Canterlot to Ponyville. It meant that with an entire car cleared out for Twilight's personal use, the rest of the train was no more than moderately crowded. Of course, that didn't account for the feelings of those who felt that a bench designed for three was best used by one, with any additional occupancy serving as a glare-triggering crime against order itself -- but Twilight hadn't asked for any of it, hadn't found the words to stop it. And now she could look out any window of her choice, watching for the first true signs of home.
Six.
It probably did qualify her for a few extra seats, although giving her the entire car still seemed excessive.
I'm Rainbow...
"Stop being Twilight. Try being me."
How had Rainbow even thought of that? Had thought been involved at all? Was there a deeper instinct which told the weather coordinator's subconscious what had happened and the best way to proceed? Twilight had some of Rainbow's essence, her magic, her shadow, and so the best way to tap it was by putting her own thoughts into that configuration. The sisters, with centuries of practice, could presumably do it with no effort at all, at least for the simplest things: flight, the ignition of a corona. But for other, deeper access, there might have to be a request. An attempt at delving deep. And if her mind wasn't at peace...
...the party. Swooping somepony out is what Rainbow would have done.
...had that been a side effect? It seemed possible: Twilight couldn't point to a single moment of the mission and claim peace. Or had it just been acting as she'd believed Rainbow would do, taking her lesson from a friend?
I am Pinkie...
That one was harder, after a moon where joy had almost felt impossible. But Pinkie's essence... it was within her. The dream had shown her all of the shadows, rising up to defend her from nightmare. She just didn't know what kind of mantra she might need to find that echo within her. There would have to be one for Rarity, another for Fluttershy -- but Twilight felt that whatever called Pinkie's essence forward was going to either be the single most complex effort or the simplest. Given that she would be dealing with some distillation of the baker, it seemed reasonable to be dealing with both conditions at once.
She didn't know how to call on Pinkie. She wasn't sure it was possible to do it from a state of inner centering. Bringing that essence forward seemed to demand a certain degree of tilt.
I'm carrying them with me.
Discord had said that he didn't know how the imbalance would affect her lifespan. It was possible that it had been shortened, or would be -- normal. She would deal with the first when she saw signs of it. The second was hardly an issue. But if she still turned out to be like the sisters...
For as long as I live, they're with me.
(He could have lied. She was sure he hadn't, and didn't know why.)
But the essence wouldn't change. Life was change.
It's been a little over a moon. And just from this mission -- we've changed. All of us have. Pinkie and Fluttershy know what they are now. Applejack broke the Secret. Rainbow's always changing, even if we only really see it when we look at the results. After what happened, Rarity might trust her own capabilities a little more. They've changed, and the shadows won't.
Photographs. Or perhaps even a filmstrip: images flickering by, creating the illusion of movement -- but no matter how many times you looked at it, the result was always the same picture. The Elements had captured a single moment, bound it to Twilight's soul. Who they had been, not who they might become. For the sisters, those within them were still on the journey: Discord yet to be defeated, Eris instead of Equestria, they were all friends -- and for their shadows, that would never change.
I am Rarity. I am Fluttershy. I am Applejack.
Who did Cadance carry? Twilight didn't know. Just that there had been five who had chosen the pegasus to live, and so she had. A picture taken at the end of life. Cadance, from the first moment of her new existence, had carried the dead. And that gave Twilight's former foalsitter something in common with her -- except that with Tish, every single shadow had been stolen from what had already been a corpse.
The first place he went, with the first of his pearls, was a grave...
She'd realized it, just before the end. Rarity's find had been the chaos pearl which had once been charged with Primatura's essence. His spouse had died in childbirth, and so there was a sort of painting available. The masterwork of her existence. And he had looked at his daughter as a place in which to assemble the gallery.
I don't think he believed Primatura would just -- take over. But that something inside would be able to hear him, maybe even speak with him... yes. He did everything he could to make it happen. Because he loved her. And he pushed himself away from his own mark, because to love his daughter was to lose his wife forever --
-- no: it had started before that. At the instant he'd seen where the cap wasn't. But learning about essence would have reinforced it. His hate had been as strong as his love, and both together had been more powerful than his mark.
She carries eight. Who are they? He implied they were important. Which made sense: treat every cemetery as a garden, harvest only the best. Can she find them, without knowing who they were? What do they give her?
Celestia's words, in both Hall and Courtyard... Twilight suspected there had been ponies who had tried it with an imbalance of races, along with those who'd just gone with More = Better. She wasn't sure it was possible with three. Six had been proven. Nine might have been the effective limit, and it was possible that only the chaos energies had kept Tish alive. But she could easily picture ponies trying to take things into the dozens. And as the Solar alicorn had said, when something did happen, the lucky ones were those who'd died quickly.
(Perhaps as quickly as a Stage Three backlash death, for some unicorns did choose that final ending. When they all knew about it, when it felt as if it would be so easy, when she had laid awake in the Gifted School picturing...)
Twilight looked out the window again, trying to distract some part of her inner vision from the multiple screaming results of her imagination. The water tower was starting to make itself visible, and craning her neck would allow her to pick out the dam. A clear day for Ponyville: seasonably warm, a little breeze later, and with Rainbow back in charge for all of it, a portion might even happen on time.
I am six.
In some ways, that felt like the wrong way to put it. There was a soul, and there were shadows. But they were shadows of those who, at the moment of merge, had loved her. Shadows who loved her still, who would always love her, because they could never change.
Celestia and Luna carry each other. No matter what the Nightmare did to Luna -- and she no longer believed the entity had been the younger at all -- Celestia could always look into herself and find her sister as she was at the moment they both changed. Something which didn't know anything was different.
How much does that hurt? To look into yourself when all you want is the real and find...
...a shadow.
Celestia carried Luna. Zephyra. Two whose names she did not know. And the Star Swirl who had been her friend, who was still her friend, who could never understand what had come next.
Six.
The train's steamstack vented, and a whistle blew. She was almost home.
The burial took place without ceremony. Nopony gave a speech, for there was nopony in attendance: while there were many ponies who would have been perfectly happy to see him dead (to go with quite a few who would have demanded proof), the majority of them didn't know what his real name had been, a few were currently in prison, and most of the rest (his parents included) had decided they had better things to do.
There was no marker. Admittedly, he never would have suffered the little stone monument used by so many earth ponies, or gone with the pyre favored by western pegasi. But he hadn't even arranged for the device which would project a hue-dimmed image of his red tape icon into the night. A pony who took his delight in ruining the lives of others had never considered the possibility of his own death, and so there had been no plans left behind at all. For the most part, he had been buried because there was a body upon which the autopsy had been concluded, and putting it under the ground would go a long way towards stopping the smell.
The ground was opened. The remains were placed inside. The dirt was placed on top of them. And that was it.
In life, the pony had, in an act of childish cruelty (something which had never changed), decided that a young mare would have no friends. It was a wish which held for a surprisingly long time and in making it, that pony changed the world. His hatred led to the rediscovery of the Elements, the end of Nightmare, and all which came after. It could be said that in a very real way, he'd been one of the most important ponies to have ever lived.
But nopony knew it. Even if they had, he hadn't meant to do any of it. He hadn't had control.
And so it could also be said that somewhere within the shadowlands, the screaming might never end.
The grey pegasus spotted Twilight coming out of the empty train car, or at least her left eye did. Her immediate response was to swoop down, with several ponies hearing the wingbeats, looking up, spotting just who it was, and immediately clearing a lot of extra space.
She stopped the descent just before she would have had to touch down, hovering in front of Twilight. Her head went back towards her left saddlebag, the yellow mane obscured most of the mouth movements and eventually, a letter was offered. Twilight's field accepted it, and the mailmare went on her way.
Twilight had recognized the fieldwriting, and so a tiny flare of corona light quickly opened the missive.
...they found her, they told her she didn't have to go to Trotter's Falls any more but not why, she's heading to her next scheduled stop and hoping she can make up for the lost travel time, she's glad I'm okay whether I want to believe that or not, but she really wants to know what happened, and she also wants me to look at this formula when I get the chance. Most of the sigh was internal. She still wasn't sure what she could tell Trixie, much less how to say it. What she could tell anypony at all.
I wish she would put Ponyville back on her circuit. If she was here, Rarity and Pinkie could reconcile with her. Maybe they could even be -- and the train of thought crashed into a wall made from solid reality. -- tolerant of her until she left again. And that hurt a little: Trixie was becoming something very much like her friend, and for that friend not to be fully accepted into the circle...
Maybe if she apologizes.
It was Trixie.
Maybe if she apologizes a lot.
At least with Trixie, Twilight could tell her the formula looked good.
Her field folded the letter, closed the envelope and tucked it into the saddlebags which had been originally carrying her lunch. There was no point in trying to compose her response just yet, not even as a purely mental first draft. She had stops to make.
Twilight didn't know what to tell them. But she had to see them.
With Rarity, things frequently looked normal at first glance. The initial view of the Boutique's interior found dresses, sewing devices, a few trays of materials, a central sales desk, and a rather tired-looking, currently-bespectacled unicorn. To get closer was to see the dozens of crumpled paper balls which had been concealed behind the desk, along with the cat who was happily (and possibly deliberately) batting a few of them towards greater visibility.
"Oh, Twilight," the designer yawned. "I am glad to see you out and about --"
"-- what happened?" Because Rarity knew a dozen makeup tricks for concealing bags under the eyes, and had apparently been tired enough to forget about all of them.
"Simply an attempt at a new dress," Rarity sighed. "One which is presenting me with some difficulties. At the moment, I am stuck at the concept stage. There is no point in advancing to a trial gallop until I have something I am willing to live with for five seconds, which would be two over the previous record. Especially since, given everything which was happening at the time, I hardly had the chance to acquire her measurements..."
Which gave Twilight the clue, and so her field projected towards the nearest discard --
"-- oh no, don't, they are hideous --"
-- and smoothed out the results.
It triggered another sigh. "Yes, well, it is something of a challenge. Having her overall hues remain the same is helpful, but the locations shift. Additionally, I am trying to make something which both works with wings and functions perfectly well without them. You might imagine that the concept of including a hat went rather early. And frankly, when it comes to measurements -- did you notice that her numbers would change for each form? I did. And the dress has to fit them all. So given that I am currently dealing with the challenge of a lifetime, perhaps any designer's lifetime, you may find the broken spines of emptied sketchbooks behind the Boutique. Please let me know if anypony complains when the growing pile begins to block Sun."
"A dress for her." There was a little wonder in it.
"Eventually," Rarity crossly declared, "she will need a proper debut. And she will be dressed for it, in something far better than what he forced her to emerge in. I can only hope to work out how such a garment could function." Another sigh. "At the very least, I will be making a trip to the palace so I can measure her..."
Which was when the blue gaze moved over Twilight.
"...actually," Rarity decided, "she may not be the only one in need of a new fitting."
In a desperate attempt to escape from pins, "You took my measurements at the castle! You adjusted for wings!"
"I did," Rarity nodded, and squinted through the glasses. "But... perhaps it is simply the exhaustion having its way with me. But you appear to be very slightly... taller. And as petite as you are..." Her eyes closed, and soft blue briefly massaged the lids. "Perhaps I need sleep more than I thought."
"Rarity?"
"That," the designer noted, "sounds like concern."
It had been. "Are you okay?"
"I could ask you the same," Rarity yawned.
"...I'm -- better than I was."
Her friend smiled. "And I believe you. So, as I believe you and this day is regrettably slow, I may choose to let Rainbow be my guide, at least for the half-hour of the nap." Not without hope, "Unless you have any thoughts regarding her dress?"
"I think," Twilight quickly said, "I still know to leave it to you."
Which got her a mild eye roll as Rarity pushed herself away from the desk. "Of all the lessons to stick... very well. Please forgive me, Twilight, but as you are feeling better and I am simply exhausted, I regret that this meeting shall be short. May I drop by the tree after Sun-lowering as apology?"
"Please. Spike would love to see you."
Another smile. "Feel free to lock up on your way out." The white body moved for the ramp --
-- paused.
"Twilight?"
Who waited.
"Do you remember," Rarity quietly said, "what I said during that one bath? About -- not knowing what I believed in any more?"
It was almost a whisper. "Yes."
"Well... I've been thinking it over. Quite a bit. And... I believe in us."
The sister she'd never had began to climb towards her rest.
"I suppose that's enough," Rarity softly declared. "Good night, Twilight."
The one she'd expected to spend the most time tracking almost touched down in front of her. It was hard to get Rainbow out of a hover.
"So I got my hat back," the pegasus angrily declared.
Twilight looked around, found nopony else within sight or hearing of the shortcut she'd been using to cut behind the bowling alley and get that much closer to the bakery. "The Guards found it in the castle?"
"I wish," Rainbow snorted. "It just flashed into my house. You know -- the sort of flash you get when talons snap? And it came with sort of a note. A note which basically said I didn't know how to keep a hat on, I had to leave hat-wearing to the professionals, I looked stupid in a hat, there was only one pony in the world who could get away with that hat and if I kept wearing it, she'd be too embarrassed to meet me!" Forelegs twitched from not-at-all repressed rage. "He is such a jerk!"
Things change...
Under one of the other hooves, they hadn't changed that much. "Sometimes," Twilight admitted. "Um... did he say who could get away with wearing that hat? Because Daring Do isn't real..."
A snort. "Maybe. I'm not sure. He could have put that part under the dome. I already washed off everything else. At least he kept his horse apple smear away from the autograph."
Twilight nodded. "Glad to hear it," and found that she was. "You look like you need a nap, Rainbow."
"Oh, very funny --"
"-- no, I mean it. You look tired."
The pegasus shrugged. "You know... end of a mission. Lots of adrenaline to dump."
And then she touched down.
"Twilight?"
"What?" Purple eyes looking a little less up towards magenta than usual: even when they were both standing on a level surface, Rainbow was still taller.
A little too casually, "You're okay, right?"
There were ways in which Twilight knew her friend by heart, and somewhat deeper. Teasingly, "You want something..."
In an instant huff, "Just because I'm asking if you're okay doesn't mean I want something! Maybe I just want to know if you're okay!"
Twilight waited for it.
"-- and if I can come over tomorrow," Rainbow shamelessly continued. "To work on my manuscript." And before Twilight could say anything, "Look, I know it won't be published. Not for a long time, if it ever could be at all. But that's it: I want it not to be published because it can't be, not because it shouldn't be." A little more quickly, "Where 'can't' is the stuff in it and 'shouldn't' is the way I wrote it. You get that, right?"
She did, although she considered that any written version of that speech might seem to be screaming out for editing. But that would have been unfair, since it was what Rainbow had actually said. They would just have to be more careful about whatever text wound up going around it. "Yeah. But Rainbow -- it's not going to be a few days and then everything's fixed. We might be working on this for moons."
Casually, "That's okay."
Twilight blinked. "It is?"
And a vicious grin. "Because it might take years to get you up to my flying standards and for every writing lesson, there's going to be an equal amount of time with you up in the air. See you tomorrow morning, Twilight! Because we're going to be practicing over the dam. We'll see how long you can hold it without going into the water, especially when you're not supposed to be thinking about the water."
"...over the dam."
"And that water's getting cold. You'll see that. But only as long as you don't feel it."
"Rainbow?"
"Yeah?"
"When do we practice lightning?"
It triggered a frown. "Not for moons. Spring at least. Why?"
And with images of retaliation pranks regretfully postponed, "No reason."
She had to wait a few seconds before she could talk to Pinkie. (The bakery's tendency to clear itself out in alicorn presence helped: after all, nopony wanted to be the one who accidentally ordered what Twilight had wanted to pick out.) And then they wound up in the pantry, where the most likely eavesdropper was an ingredient sack and Pinkie assured her that as gossipers went, Madame LeFlour was completely reformed.
"You're tired," was the first private observation.
"I'm fine! I just --"
"-- you've all been tired," Twilight cut in. "And I'd rather solve this before I get to Applejack. Pinkie, what's going on?"
The baker winced.
"Um... Luna sort of dropped by. You know. During the night. Or during the nightscape." Thoughtfully, even as Twilight's tail began to tuck itself between her hind legs, "In the nightscape? Anyway, the whole dream thing. And she said... that you weren't feeling good, and she was worried about you. So she wanted us to watch the tree. And if my Pinkie Sense told me something which --" awkwardly "-- I really really don't ever want it to, we had to get inside. Even if we had to take the tree apart to do it. She said she trusted me to get in there. So we were sort of... up for part of the night. And all day. And then night again. Some of us took shifts. But then Luna said we could go home. So..." Her head dipped for a moment, and the bright curls lightly bounced as worried eyes came up again. "...are you okay?"
Luna, you --
-- probably did exactly what I should have expected you to do. "I'm... trying," Twilight honestly replied. "But it's not as bad as it was. Not in the palace, or a couple of nights ago."
Pinkie gently nuzzled her.
"Good." Stepped back slightly, closed her eyes. Took a deep breath, visibly gathered strength from everything around her. "I told the Cakes."
Sun and Moon... Whispering now, "What did they say?" The proprietors hadn't looked angry, or -- scared...
"They..." Pinkie swallowed, refused to look at Twilight. "...they knew I was deaf and mute for a long time. They both tried to teach me, just in case it was just the rock farmer tools which didn't work for me. Applejack did too. Sometimes they even did things for me, when I asked, but... I asked them not to ever try and change their voices. Not to make it sound like it might be me. It's... wrong, letting somepony speak for you that way. I know. So they knew I was deaf, and mute, and... they loved me anyway. And when I told them, we all sort of cried for a while, and the twins were crying because we were crying, and then... they loved me anyway. They... got used to having a kid who was kind of weird, and all I really told them was why. It didn't change who I was. And... it didn't change how they felt. That's what I was afraid of, more than anything else about telling them, but they loved me anyway."
She smiled, opened her eyes and blinked away the tears.
"Because they're my mom and dad. That's what they do."
Twilight nuzzled her back.
They stayed like that for a while, among the scents and sacks.
"Doctor Gentle chose them," Pinkie softly stated. "Did you know that? He asked around until somepony mentioned them, and then he brought me in. He didn't make them take me. But when he heard about the Cakes, he chose them..." A small breath, as she stepped back a little again. "I'm going into Canterlot to visit him in prison. Next week on my half-day, if we don't get a mission or anything."
Twilight spent a few seconds in searching for words, and the only one to get as far as her mouth was "...why?"
"Because..." All four knees bent a little. "...he didn't love her. But we were his, and I think he did love us, at least a little. He couldn't love her, but his mark was supposed to be for loving and caring and -- maybe that's why we got it." Sadly, "Can you imagine how much love he should have had for her, for all of us to get some? I was his experiment, Twilight, I know that... but I still feel like he loved me. And Fluttershy thinks he's sick. So I thought... if I visit him every so often, let him know somepony's thinking about him -- maybe it'll help him get better one day. I want him to get better. I hope..."
A little smile rippled across bright pink fur, even as the tears began to fall again.
"It hurts," Pinkie plainly said. "Hope hurts. Hope is horrible. It's going to hurt every time I see him. He might yell at me for a while. For a lot of whiles. But maybe he'll get better. I just hope, and it hurts to hope, and -- I'd rather hurt that way than not hurt. Does that make any sense?"
And all Twilight could think to do was nuzzle her again.
It turned out to be enough.
Fluttershy didn't look tired. But then, Twilight was dealing with Fluttershy.
"...as long as you're okay. But I'm still visiting tomorrow." It had taken a while for them to get that far. Visiting Fluttershy had its own hazards, and Twilight had needed to get past two new otters, three snakes (and as it turned out, her wings were not only very good at automatically flaring out in fear, but also had their own expertise in knocking over mugs), and was currently trying to talk to Fluttershy by peering around the outskirts of an extremely large, desperately shaggy, and rather patient dog. It seemed prepared to sit on the grooming table for hours and let the ponies talk because as long as that was happening, no grooming would take place.
"How about you?"
"...me?" Because it wasn't as if Fluttershy always understood why she might be worth worrying about.
"Everypony wants to know about me." It was reassuring, loving and, by the time she'd reached her fourth friend, had also become somewhat exasperating. "How are you feeling, Fluttershy? And what are you going to do next? Pinkie told me that she let the Cakes know, and it --" was the best-case scenario. Twilight suspected there would be parents who wouldn't take the news anywhere near that well, and she was already dreading what would happen when it reached them. "-- went really well. But what about you? I've never seen your parents."
"...they travel," the caretaker softly said. "It's... part of their job. They're stormbreakers, Twilight. For the other countries, when one of those nations gets something which could kill... most of them don't have their weather controlled. But they have a deal with Equestria, that if it's really bad, we send pegasi. And it's a big world, with a lot of storms. I don't see them too often, and... I don't want to just write them. I want to tell them myself. So I'll wait. It'll -- give me more time to think of something to say."
Stormbreakers... "That sounds like a high-risk profession."
The one visible blue-green eye briefly closed. "...it is. But it's their marks, Twilight: both of them. They come back. I... always have to tell myself that they come back. It doesn't keep me from being afraid for them. But I think they're more afraid for me, most of the time. They understood about the animals, or at least they understood it was my mark. They don't understand me, but they love me -- and they're afraid for me, because there's no mark for being a Bearer..."
We come back. We keep coming back.
Until the day one of them wouldn't.
"Our laughter died first..."
"...why are you nuzzling me?"
"I just wanted to." Instantly worried, "That's okay, right?"
"...yes. You just came around the table really fast."
The dog considered rolling over, and then thought better of it.
"Fluttershy -- how are you feeling? Please."
The caretaker thought it over.
"...I'm scared," she finally admitted. "Because so much is different now. But I'm scared almost every day, and I still get up in the morning. I think that's something."
"I spoke to Discord." The first friend she'd told.
"...really?"
You did it.
He gave it to the only one of us who would use it the right way.
The strongest.
"He told me I learned about courage from you."
The caretaker smiled.
"...he likes to say funny things to make me feel better," she finally decided. "That's what friends do."
Just to save time, the first thing she said when she saw Applejack was "I'm fine."
It was a market day -- but it wouldn't hold that status for much longer. Some stall owners had already started dismantling their setups, while Applejack herself looked as if she was ready to stick it out for a while. There were very few potential customers left, but there were a lot of apples -- and there was also an extremely frustrated-looking pony standing behind cart and barrels, who had been half-glaring at everypony going by.
"No, you're not," Applejack decided. "But you're not as bad as you were, either. Come on over." She sighed, shook her head: the entire blonde mane shifted. "Not so good on my end, Twilight. I just didn't get the sales today."
"The apples look good," Twilight decided as she automatically increased the number she'd meant to purchase. "Any idea what happened?"
"Yeah," the disgruntled farmer replied. "I sort of figured it out right around the time somepony led the police over to the cart, pointed a forehoof at me, and screamed that I was a changeling who didn't know what it was supposed to be doing."
The wince settled in for a good long stay. "Which one?" Realistically, there were only three candidates.
"Flower Wishes." Applejack sighed. "Figures, right?"
It was rare for Twilight to find herself rising to the Trio's defense, and she wished for a way to get the sudden foulness off her tongue. "Well --" and wasn't sure how to say it. "-- Applejack, you don't... they don't know what..."
Applejack looked around. Her ears rotated, and the right foreleg gestured Twilight closer.
"They don't see a hat," Applejack softly said, "and they don't think I sound right --"
You don't. In a way, Twilight had been using the degree of intermittent appearance for the farmer's accent as a means of measuring that recovery. But this felt like things had gone backwards.
"-- so I can't be the right pony, or a pony at all. For them, that's what passes for logic. But with my customers..." Another sigh. "I guess they're not used to it either. They just don't know how to ask. So they stay away, and then they don't have to. It isn't exactly good for my bottom line."
Another look around.
"Come around to this side of the cart?" Applejack requested, and Twilight did. The farmer made one last check --
It was a whisper. It had to be. "-- I'll train you."
She didn't know if her reply was meant to be a protest. It felt like one. "Applejack --"
"-- Twilight, you've got a voice. That means somepony's got to teach you what to say, and how to sing. It's a duty. And there's nopony else. I'm supposed to spend some extra time with you until you get yourself sorted out from all this, and this is part of what I want to do with it. You need training. Every singer does. So I'll train you."
It took three attempts for Twilight to make her words audible. "If -- if anypony finds out that you're --"
"-- we'll deal with it," Applejack firmly (if softly) said. "But yeah -- we'll have to be careful." A soft sigh. "You know how you're always worried about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and ruining everything? I finally figured out what that feels like, because now, so am I. But we'll get through it. Starting won't be that hard, since we already harmonize."
"We -- what?"
Her friend smiled.
"I heard you, back there," Applejack whispered. "When you were trying to find him. That's how I found you. And it's funny, Twilight, it's the last thing I was expecting -- but you sing a lot like me..."
And Twilight couldn't speak.
Applejack shrugged. Looked out into emptying aisle and market again, just as a rather distinctive, somewhat-bandaged stallion trotted out of the blue tent.
With just a little more volume than before, enough that Twilight didn't have to strain for the words, carefully watching as the stallion got his teeth around the first stake, "He's ugly, isn't he?"
Twilight carefully examined all of the verbal options available when discussing somepony who sometimes appeared to have swapped out features for geography.
"Er."
"I mean, look at him."
Twilight tried again. "Um..." This did not represent progress.
"But it's this weird kind of ugly," Applejack pondered. "It's the kind of ugly you just keep looking at. You get used to having it around. When you don't see it for a while, you wonder what happened to it."
"Erk?" Which didn't even feel like Equestrian.
The farmer fell silent. Watched for a little while.
"I asked Luna for a favor. Before we left the palace."
"Really?" Oh, good: the words are back.
"Yeah. Took some doing, too." Sounding vaguely insulted, "For starters, I had to have Guards watching me the whole time, and I only got about five seconds with the thing before they made me give it back. But Luna told them it was for the intended purpose, so it happened. I got into Apple Bloom's room while she was sleeping, with the snitcher, I touched it to her..."
"Gah."
"Sorry?"
"Um..."
Applejack shrugged.
"Some stuff happened while we were gone," the earth pony softly said. "Because it always does. See those bandages on him? That's part of it. His tongue got a little burned, too, so don't ask him to talk much for a while. But... I think the Crusade might be getting close to ending. For Apple Bloom, anyway. At least, that's what the snitcher said. That her magic was on the rise. It was all I wanted to know. That she had a chance. So I'm going to do whatever it takes to make that chance work for her."
And Twilight found a smile.
"I'm glad, Applejack. I really am. I know how hard it's been. Waiting. Worrying --"
"-- thinking she was going to get herself killed," Applejack quietly finished. "Yeah. But... things change, Twilight. My little sister might finally be growing up. Everything changes. She's going to figure out who she is. And when she does, the best thing I can do for her is let her go her own way. She's not meant to be on a farm her whole life -- oh, that reminds me: I'm going to need the library exchange program forms. A bunch of them. Tomorrow, if you can."
"I can do that," Twilight readily said. "What kind of books did you --"
"Because she has to make her own road."
"-- because I could recommend something in most --"
But she was looking at the stallion again.
"Hard worker," she observed.
Twilight nodded.
"He's a lot more gentle than he looks," Applejack added. "And smarter. I mean, think about it. All the ponies in town, everypony the palace could send, and he's the one Fluttershy trusts to watch the cottage. Had to pick up some vet skills to do that."
Twilight, who was the only pony in town with access to the stallion's reading list, nodded again.
"Heard he's been tutoring Scootaloo, here and there," the farmer continued. "Little less Crusading when that's happening. Apple Bloom even said the grades are up."
She was starting to feel like a rather limited kinetic sculpture.
Applejack closed her eyes. Took a deep, slow, centering breath.
"Now," she declared, "I'm not saying this is going to work."
Twilight, with no idea of what the current subject under discussion was, went with her go-to move.
"There's a lot to get through. He might not want it. Things might be wrong from my side. Maybe it just won't happen. Best-case, it's a long road, Twilight, and I don't know where it ends. But I don't know if it goes anywhere until I start trotting."
She had to say it. "Applejack, I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about --"
"-- but the way I figure it," the earth pony cut her off, "if this goes as far as it could... there's a lot worse things than kids who can fly." And with that, her head went down, her jaw nipped at the handle of a drawer which had been built into the cart, and a nimble movement sent the hat into place. "Hey, Snowflake! Ah got somethin' t' ask you!"
The stallion, who'd been carefully folding the tent, looked up from the blue canvas. Patiently waited while Applejack approached. And nopony else ever heard exactly what she said to him. They only saw red eyes go wide with shock, hooves scrabbling at dirt in a localized, instinctive expression of powerful denial. But then she smiled at him, an honest smile, and he said the only thing he could have. The right thing.
"Yeah!"
In time, Twilight would attend the trial.
When it came to serving as nothing more than a silent watcher, she would only be there for one day. She hadn't initially planned on doing so, not as a spectator, and she'd been the only one: a trial which was being held privately in the name of national security wasn't going to have much in the way of audience seating. So where her previously-assigned position had been within the witness box, questioned by a calm prosecutor and then a frantic defense, the visit found her in a hidden place. Watching without his having any knowledge that she was there at all.
She'd come on the day of his testimony, because of course he'd overridden his lawyer, insisted on testifying in his own defense. He wanted to explain himself because to him, that explanation was what won ponies over to his side, and the failure rate for that tactic could be seen as rather small. So he carefully arranged himself on the witness bench, until his position was as comfortable as it could ever be. Forced himself to speak, with occasional breaks for the medicine which allowed him temporary relief from the damage which could never heal. The agony which was now a permanent part of his life.
He shared his pain. He made his statements. And as he did so, he watched the jury box. Watched as they, in his opinion, failed to understand. Explained himself all the more, went into the deepest details, saw their expressions shut themselves against him. Tried all the harder, forelegs beginning to frantically gesture, volume increasing until his voice began to break, sentences fragmenting as medicine and forced self-control wore off.
Her last view of Gentle Arrival was a partial one, with his body surrounded by both court security and medics. But it didn't stop him. He continued to speak, and that didn't end until the doors closed on his final failed defense.
"It was the children! You don't understand, I did it for the children!"
She was on her way back to the tree and for the most part, Ponyville was leaving her alone -- or rather, the portion of the population which had chosen to follow was doing so at a distance. It gave her a chance to think, trotting with her head down, not really paying attention to where she was going. It was home. She knew the way.
Two weeks.
That is the absolute deadline. Two weeks and I get everypony together. I tell them about essence and shadows and -- everything. Two weeks to find the right words, because --
Because secrets had inertia. She needed some time, and she'd chosen to go with two weeks. But to reach that deadline, feel she still didn't have the right words, use that as an excuse to wait one more day -- it would mean waiting one more day. And once she'd waited another day, she could find a reason to wait for a week. Then it would be a moon, a season and from there, the calendar stretched out to something approaching forever. Two weeks was fair, because anypony tasked with talking about this was entitled to try planning the speech. But if she waited for verbal perfection, or what she would lie to herself about being exactly the right moment to do it -- those were reasons to never say it at all.
Two weeks.
Starting from tomorrow. It's been a long --
-- two weeks starting from today.
She sighed (and several ponies wondered what was wrong). She was tired. She'd been on the move for most of the day, and even the train rides felt as if she'd galloped across the distance. She just wanted to --
"-- nice to see you again, Princess."
And she looked up into green, brown, and fallen scales.
The reporter's left forehoof stomped. "Just a quick question to start off with -- oh, and notice I didn't bring a camera! So there's nothing you can do to me. One quick question, and then we can get to all of the other questions. It's about that envelope."
Twilight blinked. "What are you talking about?"
"Like you don't know!" A single harsh bark of a laugh cut through the air. "It showed up at the Canterlot offices today. Real thick envelope, and on the outside, it's got some things written on it. Like 'Secrets Of The Bearers' and 'For Immediate Publication'! So of course everypony was sort of curious. And they were just about to open it when there was this flash of light out of bucking nowhere, light without a horn, and then this voice just said 'Compensation!' and the envelope was gone. So tell me, Princess. What do you know about that?"
...he...
...he just...
"I'm sure I couldn't tell you," Twilight answered. "Goodbye." Started to move past her --
-- the reporter twisted, got in front of Twilight again. "Oh, we're not done! Why were you in Trotter's Falls for so long?" The furious eyes quickly moved across Twilight's body, looking for signs of a pregnancy which wouldn't have appeared for moons even if it had existed. "Because I've got a few ideas! And I'm getting ready to print every last one --"
"-- I'm going to start with the mines."
The words had been calm. Even. Twilight even felt it had been a reasonable place to begin.
"...what?"
"Well," Twilight explained, "the metal for counterfeit money has to come from somewhere. And I thought Murdocks might be doing some of the minting. So I'm going to start with the mines. Homes which are near them. Frequent customers. Sales receipts --"
"-- no you don't," the reporter shot back. "You ambushed me in Trotter's Falls, but I'm ready for you now. That's a Princess invading somepony's privacy. You have no right to do that. It's a breach of royal protocol, and when the public finds out that a Princess is --"
"-- why do you keep using that word?"
The interruption had been rather soft. It had also come with just a touch of corona flare, and so the reporter rather abruptly stopped talking.
"Actually," Twilight decided, "I get it. A little. Because there was a coronation, and then there was some singing. So that word got kicked around a lot, and it landed in everypony's ears. But it got kicked by mistake, and it was believed through sheer habit. And it's still wrong. Even Celestia got that wrong and because she didn't have it right, everypony else made the same mistake. Even you."
"What --" Reeling, visibly shaken, all control over her own verbal assault gone, with no idea what Twilight was trying to do. "-- what the buck are you trying to pull --"
(Behind them, around them, ponies were listening.)
"She called me a Princess," Twilight softly explained. "When I'm just an alicorn. But to her, to you, to everypony and everyone -- a Princess is all an alicorn's ever been. All one could ever be. But I don't have a nation. I have a library. Yes, I have a -- call it a part-time job -- but in the end, the library is the only thing I have dominion over, and that's with the mayor setting my purchase budget. That doesn't make me a Princess. It makes me a librarian."
(Somehow, it almost felt as if everypony was listening. As if the world was holding its breath.)
"And I'm sure there are rules for royal protocol, which Princesses should abide by," Twilight gently continued, watching every word as it kicked. "Not that I trust your interpretation of them, but I could look them up sometime. They just don't matter, because they don't apply. A Princess facing you as a problem might have to follow some kind of protocol. But I'm a librarian, and when somepony gives me a problem -- I. Do. Research."
If somepony was watching closely, it was possible to see the moment when the force of that simple statement truly hit the reporter. It was considerably easier to see her hindquarters hitting the cobblestones.
"Oh, and here's a scoop for you," Twilight smiled. "For your trouble, especially what you'll get when the pregnancy story goes bad on you. Did you know I keep a little printing press in the library's basement? I used to borrow Cheerilee's, but it was just more practical to have my own so I could replace damaged cards for the catalog. I'm sure it won't take long to figure out how articles are blocked out. So feel free to publish that. I certainly will."
She began to step around the half-fallen, hard-breathing form.
"You can't," weakly came from behind her. "It's... it's not right..."
Twilight flicked her tail across the false journalist's face.
"Tell your boss I look forward to seeing him soon," she stated. And casually trotted away.
The last part of the trip found her working on a letter. It was just a first draft, and so the words were nowhere near reaching a scroll. They simply went around and around in her head, with the edges becoming a little more smooth during each trip. Soon, she'd have something workable. Maybe once she got home -- well, a little after, because that was just a matter of turning the corner and then --
It was supposed to be home. Her sanctum. The place of safety. Her one and only dominion. It now mostly looked like a bunch of very full tarpaulin-covered carts, albeit ones with some leaves placed into the back layers.
Ponies were moving around those carts. The majority appeared to be stallions, quite a few were unicorns, and all were struggling. Some coronas had already gone double as they tried to manage any part of the load. Others were flickering, threatening to wink out as ponies who simply weren't up to the task decided to see how long they could keep going before their bodies forced them to admit it. And moving around all of their legs...
"I told you! I told you to just wait for her! She'll be back soon! She'll have to check the inventory, and she'll do that no matter what you want me to do!" This was followed by a groan: Spike had an inherent aversion to taking inventory. "And why are you trying to move it at all once, anyway? Who are you trying to impress? Because it's not going to be me. Why not just take the tarps off and do it a few at a time? And that doesn't matter, because I don't want any of you doing ANYTHING --" several ponies jumped at the roar "-- until she gets the chance to inspect --" And that was when he spotted her. "-- oh, thank Moon! Twilight, they've been here for about ten minutes, they're trying to dump-and-gallop --"
"-- do you know," the largest (and most heavily-sweating) of the stallions asked, "how much this stuff weighs? Getting it off the train was bad enough! We just want to go home..."
Slowly, Twilight approached. Eight carts, all stacked up to three times her own height.
"What is this?"
Spike, a sealed envelope clutched in his right hand, claws lightly scoring the paper, slowly walked up to her.
"Check it for magic," he quietly said. "Carefully."
"It's clean, Spike." She was confused, starting to feel just a little frantic about it, needed to know what was going on -- but there was nothing wrong with her feel. "The carts have a bunch of signatures around them, but I think that's just from when they were loaded: basic manipulation. I'm not getting any workings. So what's going --"
He silently held out the envelope. Her field surrounded it, brought it to her, opened --
The lettering was surprisingly small. But it was also expertly formed, and perfectly legible. In a way, it could be described as the sender's most distinctive feature.
What would hurt me more than anything else is knowing that you were afraid to find joy because of me.
She looked at the carts. Truly looked, and heard cart wheels groaning under the weight.
He... he couldn't have...
Her field lanced for the nearest tarp, whipped it into the air. Went for one of the exposed boxes next, pulled it to rest in front of her forelegs, yanked it open --
"Discord's talons!"
It was all Twilight said and, judging by the way so many ponies jumped, she didn't really need to say anything else.
Spike's words didn't have a lot of volume behind them. She was proud of him for that. You never knew where a collector might be lurking.
"That's a Fortreeze."
She nodded. Nodding was an option. But so was unblinkingly staring, and she felt like the best thing to do was to keep going with that.
"That's his Fortreeze..."
"No," one of the stallions groaned. "It's yours. All of this is yours. By express shipment. You don't want to know the cost. And it's all books."
"Plus an animal feeder," somepony said.
That earned him a glare. "Fine. Books and an animal feeder. The books weigh bale-tons. And we already had to take them off the train. So we just want to finish and go home --"
Her horn ignited, one more time.
Every stallion's corona winked out, mostly from embarrassment.
"Thank you," Twilight peacefully said, carefully settling bale-tons of book-filled boxes down onto the cobblestones. "Does one of you have the inventory sheet? -- oh, good. Yes, thank you -- oh, you just saw the wings? Well, it is getting dark. Now straighten up and never do that again, because entering a greeting stance for a librarian is just silly. Now, you're all tired. So go to the hotel. Because I'm not signing this form until I have personally verified the contents of every box, along with checking the sheet itself for signs of alteration and forgery. That's because I'm not stupid. And that also means you're all staying overnight. At least. So good night to you all. Unless anypony is too tired to reach the hotel on their own, in which case, I'm certainly willing to carry you -- oh." She shrugged, focused on fast-moving tails. "Enjoy the hotel!"
And then it was just them. Along with the books.
"How much do you think is here?" Twilight softly asked.
"I'm going to say --" Spike was visibly estimating his odds, and also the work. "-- all of it?"
"Which would include the things from the conference room," Twilight quietly noted. "We have to go through those carefully. Some of it's going to need more security than the tree even has. I need to research security spells -- no, that'll take too long. I need to pay for security spells. Maybe with a Royal Voucher. I know it's not a mission, but having some of this get out might create a national emergency."
"The Fortreeze?"
"The Daring Do first printings. Do you really want to find out what Rainbow's willing to do in order to keep them? But also the Fortreeze. And whatever else is in here. Spike, we might be checking these titles for days --"
--and then the big sister truly looked at her little brother, standing quietly under dimming light.
"-- actually," she said, "that's going to be kind of boring for you. So maybe help me two hours a day, and I'll take the rest. Plus we're going to have friends visiting. A lot. They can help." She looked up, checking the sky. "Moon's going to be raised soon, and Rarity's coming by. So tonight's job is just getting this all inside, finding a place to put it, and maybe locating the Daring Do books. Especially Canon #7. I'm pretty sure Rainbow would kill somepony for a first printing on Canon #7, especially if it's the error copy. And it might be me."
"You're sure? It's a lot of work, and -- Twilight, you were gone all day. I didn't know how long you'd be talking to him, I was getting worried, and --"
"I'm sure." Her corona gently rubbed his crest. "I won't lie to you, Spike. Things aren't completely better. But it's not as bad as it was, nowhere close. I promise. And right now..." She looked at the boxes. "...I'm kind of curious about what's here --" which was when he began to give her A Look "-- okay, really curious. Desperate. But Rarity's coming over, and after that -- it was a long day. We both need sleep. And I'm sorry for making you worry."
"It's okay," he told her, and scales gently moved across her fur.
"Spike?" He waited. "Are you going to be okay? After everything that happened?"
"We're home," he simply said. "We're home, and you feel better. That's what's important."
Gently, "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
Immediately, "What Discord said to you. I think... I said everything else last night."
"We will. But I might need a few days. Two weeks, tops. It's -- complicated. Can you wait?"
Cautiously, "You promise two weeks?"
"Even if we're in the middle of a mission and I have to shout it over the spells. Two weeks, max."
"Okay," he decided. "Are you coming inside?"
"In a minute. Open the basement doors for me? It's one less thing to manage."
He smiled, went into the tree, vanishing from sight just as Moon came into view.
I told the Archives about your talent, Quiet: we accomplished that much. I don't think you can make print forget you. And the palace will be searching...
Could they find him? Could anypony? What would he do out there, with the cult's leader awaiting trial and the conspiracy potentially shattered? Would he try to go forward on his own?
Or does a stallion nopony's seen before move into a new settled zone? Maybe another nation, one with a decent pony population. Just arrives as a normal pony, no title, nothing special at all about him, and...
...meets a mare.
Falls in love.
Settles down.
Has children.
She didn't know what he would do. She only knew what he would dream.
Twilight looked up at Moon, saw some pegasi moving about. Putting a little chill in the air. It meant Rarity would be arriving soon and once that happened, there would be one more source of distractions, where the books had already offered up something close to infinity. She needed to review her draft, while there was still time.
Celestia,
There are lessons I've never put down in scrolls, because they were things I already knew about. There didn't seem to be any point in writing about them, not when I was living them.
About rejecting ponies. I'm really good at that. But I'm even better at telling myself I was doing it before they could reject me. The truth is that I was really just trying to protect them. From me.
About feeling like I did one horrible thing and had to spend the rest of my life making up for it.
And now, after this mission... I think I understand a little more about love. How desperate it can be. How, when you've lost something you love, you might do anything to have it back. How love can make you feel like a monster.
How I've always felt a little like that.
And I think you know what every last one of those feelings is like. Because now I feel like you live with them every day.
But monsters aren't sorry. A monster is something which can't admit it was wrong. That it made a mistake. Or that it did what might have wound up as the right thing, but they did it for what they finally felt was all the wrong reasons. A monster doesn't see reasons, not ones which aren't 'I want.' Sometimes, a pony does the wrong thing, and -- something good happens.
I understand what you said now, about mine still being alive. We've watched each other grow and change. While we live, we change. But the shadows will remain just that. We carry them as they were. So I want to be with them as they are, for as long as I can. To see how we might grow, isn't that how you put it? Because my friends will change, and so will I. That's what living means. I hope we'll remain friends. I think we'll be okay just as long as we talk to each other. We have to say what's in our heads. That's how we stay together.
I'm not ready to come back yet. I need some time, to find the words. To think of the questions. But when I ask them -- I hope you'll answer. I hope you'll talk.
I feel like you've needed to talk for a very long time.
Please talk to me. Not as teacher and student. As the first word of this letter and the last. So I can know what you've been through. So I can help. You said I made you proud of me. I'm hoping I can show you why.
I'll see you soon.
Twilight
She stood outside, under newly-risen Moon. Ignited her horn, began to lift the first of the cartloads. And there would be problems to come: she knew that. There would be bad days, times when she doubted herself. The horror of being locked in her own thoughts, unable to escape. Misunderstandings were almost inevitable. Missions would intrude, and monsters would strike. There would be pain and sorrow, because that was part of living. Lessons to come which she'd never imagined, and it was possible that they would never stop.
"Promise me..."
But for now, a librarian had books to take care of, and had to do so quickly because there was a friend coming over and a little brother who would want his dinner. All part of a perfectly typical night at home.
And Twilight Sparkle was content.
Moonlight streams in through the tower's windows, and most of what that illumination provides is challenge. She's never worked by Moon before, and is trying to find some way of adjusting to the shift in hues. She suspects that's going to take a while, and she's also not certain how much time he's going to give her for a first session. After all, he put up such an effort in pretending he had to be talked into this.
He is grumbling still, as he strikes a pose. Complaining about being captured in some form of order, not mention to having to hold a single pose. She is quickly learning that he loves to grumble, and suspects he mostly does it because doing so gets him attention. But here he is, posing for her (although getting him to keep a constant size is a challenge). Her first live model.
It's her reward for doing well: that's how he finally decided to justify it. According to him, stooping to this. She also suspects he's enjoying it.
She doesn't know how long she'll be here, in palace or tower. The training will take time, because it always does. Eventually, she'll have to go out into the city, and she longs for it and she's terrified of it and she has to find a way to have the first feeling win. She'll have to find her place in the world, as something unique within it. She doesn't know how to do that, and it scares her as much as anything -- everything -- else.
But he's teaching her. About control, and so many other things. Eventually, she'll be ready. She'll go out into the streets, and -- she doesn't know what will happen after that. But she believes it will happen. He is trying to teach her so many things, getting her ready for the day when her training truly ends.
And the first lesson he taught her is that there are always new beginnings.
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May 4th, 2013 -- November 30th, 2018
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Congratulations on completion and thank you for sharing the journey with all of us.
9323591
Okay (And I'm writing this before I read the new chapter) but those aren't the only two choices. She didn't snap at Twilight because she decided logically it was the right decision, but because Twilight pissed her off. She didn't need to go after Twilight so soon, she could have let her friends know and approached in person. Breaking Twilight's confidence in her, but also simultaneously providing her was a healthy outlet for those feelings of betrayal and ensuring that she'll be cared for in the immediate future.
Pushing someone this unstable this quickly while barely acknowledging their pain is not the correct way to handle this.
Endings will always be bittersweet.
On one hand, it makes me happy to see the finality. The true, complete work. The finality brings with it so much more than the sum of parts. At the same time however, to think that this is the end, and that there is no more?
I can only wait to see what, if anything, comes next.
It was an amazing ride Estee, thank you so much. You really are my favorite author.
Now time to cry out all these emotions.
Damn. Hard to believe it's over. This has been one of the few stories I always read instantly on update, and it's a little surreal to see it finally end. It's really been a ride, Estee. Congrats on finishing it.
9323670
Magnificent, and well played. Thank you for this story, and all the time and effort you've put into it.
This is the Twilight I've been looking for all story, and I can't say enough about how much satisfaction I take from every little thing about that exchange with the so-called 'reporter'.
That was a beautiful way to wrap up the story! I'm so happy you managed to get to the end. You've been an inspiration to me and I hope I'm half the writer you are.
Ooh! Not actually having the actual reconciliation, but hinting at it! Nice!
I thought Quiet's will was being enacted, but no, he's still alive and stuff.
The Snitcher being used for original purpose! So good!
Applejack x Snowflake ship! Wooo!
Triptych's thoughts nicely align with what Discord being good is like! :)
Italics ending give that nice "narration voiceover" touch!
----
Typo: Trap should be Tarp?
Or wordplay, but unlikely?
This was amazing. Thank you.
Now to read it all again.
Btw
Missing "wide"
Weeks
Tarp
I really going to miss this story
but I have to say im a bit disappointed there was no Celestia Twilight talk but im looking forward to your other work you help me be a better author!
Estee, you are an inspiration. Godspeed, and congratulations on completing this masterwork of a story.
Wow. 5 years and a half for such a grand epic. A story that could go on and on and on. Marvelous.
Thank you for writing this, it fills me with a great sense of... I don't know but I like it. I promise myself that I will read this again in a few years.
And Applejack and Snowflake!!! OMG! That came completely out of the left field and I love it! Oh please-please-please-please write the story of their courting each others, the drama and how dating is going for them! It's been a long time since I WANTED a story so much.
...The Pony Adventure Is Just Beginning...
Wow that was... that was real good. All of it.
Congratulations on not just sticking the landing, but nailing it without even visibly flexing your knees.
AppleFlake, or is it SnowJack? I wholeheartedly approve. Even if you don’t write that actual story, I hope to read snippets about them in future tales. And now what Applejack was talking about in Drunk Ponies makes so much sense.
This story has been worth every moment I’ve spent reading it. I look forward to what comes next.
That was such an adventure. Thank you so much for every word of that story; and I can't wait to see what's next.
...Wow. I mean, just, wow. Where do I begin? I haven't been the most vocal fan when it comes to following Estee's work, and that's probably for the best, but I have followed this story for... like, literally most of its life. The Continuum may not be 100% the way I would interpret Equestria, but in terms of being a more mature, thoughtful take on a show that has always struggled a little with the decision to pull it back from its planned "adventure" category to focus on "slice of life"? This is one of the greatest MLP stories I have ever read. I've loved the Continuum, and I honestly want to hope that Estee will continue to write stories in this universe, letting us see how the events of what happens in this Equestria in response to all the things that have happened.
Maybe it's a good thing that Twilight has finally learned to stop judging herself so much by what she believes Celestia wants. Given some of the cracks we've seen in the foundations of pony society? Maybe it's time a younger princess, one who is not so weighed down by the shackles of Tradition and History, stepped forward to shake things up and push some much needed reforms through.
Whatever happened, it's been a hell of a ride, with twists, turns and subversions all along the way. Love this story, and thank you so much for writing it, Estee.
Also, I have to confess it took me two tries to realize that Applejack had actually asked Snowflake out on a date. I love the whole character development it shows from the bigoted "I must be mounted by an earth pony stud to keep the family bloodline pure!" mindset we're told she had to dating in a way earlier chapter. I just wish it wasn't kind of undermined by the fact that, despite this professed open-mindedness, she's basically gone after what is literally an earth pony in a pegasus body. I mean, it's still a wonderful show of character development, but still, I just feel there'd be a little more impact if she didn't know that he's basically an earth pony with wings.
Wow just.... wow. The emotional roller coaster of the last few chapters...
Congratulations on finishing this and Thank You for wrighting it.
I look forward to more of this universe.
Its, an ending.
Trials, journeys and dark depths.
What has changed, what has stayed and what has lived.
I rather feel miffed still from the last update, and while this attempts to mollify.
To have an ending proper, and for all accounts it does. I will not forget this celestia, nor luna, their actions.
I will look to discord favorably in any more you choose to write.
This just. I am left at odds. And not all stories end in a manner which you expect.
One Tenth-Bit brought me to the 'Verse five years ago, and it's paid a lot of dividends since then.
I made an account on this site specifically so I wouldn't have to reflexively check if this updated every time.
Please ignore the indoor rain.
Something in my chest just relaxed, like a warm, contented snake.
Because the only stupid question is the one you don't ask: can someone explain what Twilight meant when she was talking to the reporter about the mines? And how do you get "Tish" as a shortening of Triptych?
No, actually, you are 5 & 1/2 years old -the longest running fiction that I've followed
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+long+and+winding+road&&view=detail&mid=EBC8E46EE37CC0F4C008EBC8E46EE37CC0F4C008&&FORM=VRDGAR
Thank you for taking the time to finish this despite your personal problems
And so concludes another epic tale. Congratulations on finally completing the centerpiece of this world you've crafted. I laughed, I cried, I seethed in impotent rage, and I cheered as our heroes overcame every obstacle before them.
From all of us to you, Estee: thank you. Truly and sincerely, thank you.
Oh hey, this finally finished. Now I can actually go and start it without wondering if it would turn into another long-running incomplete story.
This is one of the best stories on the site. Deep and with layers upon layers - I know I'm going to need to re-read it, after the revelations at the end, just to understand it.
From a purely technical point of view; your story, your plotline, is brilliant. Your character work is incredible, and your expansion of the canon is inspired.
Your descriptions, though, don't quite hold up to the high standard set by the rest of the work. You have highly detailed, brilliant scenes - but it feels like when you describe them, you're hammering coarsely at it. (Don't get me wrong, it's still a brilliant story, better than a lot of the published fiction on my bookshelf, but your writing has a weak point and that, in my opinion, is it).
Thank you for putting this story where I could read it. I know that it has given me a lot to think about.
Wow, what an ending. This story has been one of the greatest I've ever read. I had no idea how this was going to end, but I'm so happy to see it finally realized. Man. Thank you.
A powerful exploration of how even the most positive and powerful emotions can become warped through hate. The best people can do despicable things. How we all have the capacity for evil as much as good and it comes in many forms. We all need help sometimes remembering the light when it just feels like we're buried in the dark.
I'll think about this story for a long time after it's done. Truly awesome writing, Estee.
This was a great and satisfying conclusion. These last few chapters have been full of many twists and turns, and already I can see the setup for a sequel; Twilight coming to terms with her existence, the confrontation between Celestia and Twilight, and of course Tripytech’s steps out into the world. I wonder how it will all play out, and how Twilight will begin to fully become a leader and wear the burden of the crown proudly.
If it is too much to ask, I understand. This has been a long and great work that has finally concluded, a rest would not be undeserved. However, it must be asked.
Will there be a sequel?
"sighed, shook her head: the entire blonde"
"sighed, shook her head; the entire blonde"?
"and then a frantic defense"
...Yeah, imagine being given that job. Wow. Not a nice position to be in.
"Other were flickering, threatening"
"Others were flickering, threatening"?
"not mention having to hold"
"not to mention having to hold"?
...Whew.
[applauds wildly and cheers]
Wonderful, Estee. Wow. Very nicely done. I only have the one non-typo-spotting comment above, but there were a lot of things (too many) I could have said. And over the course of the whole story... 2013, wow. And looking back through the comments, I've been following it since October of 2014, at least.
Well, done, Estee; well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. :)
It’s the end of an era, and I’ve no words for the mixture of feelings I have now that it’s finished.
I think the one thing that really shines is Twilight’s development and growth - she’s finding her place in the world.
Goddamn, what a ride Estee.
*Applause*
I still remember when I first saw this story. After a binge reading session I pretty much read every short story you wrote just because I love the way you interpreted the mane six. You didn't just try to copy them, you made them into your own characters, and then made them a small detail in the world around them.
Congratulations!
Soooooooooooooo
gggoooooooooooooooooooddd
Thank you.
More please!
And so the end comes, to a rather marvellous story.
I shall look forward to what new beginnings there shall be.
A friend recommended this fic to me. Practically forced me to read it because they needed someone to discuss it with.
Boy am I glad they did. Looking forward to more of this universe. I'm very impressed with you chugging through this lately, Estee. Bravo
At the end it's still an interesting probably-atrocity that Gentle started. What would be the human equivalent to foals born the 'wrong' type? Deaf? Blind? Missing limbs? Or maybe some theoretical random phenotype expression where an extended family of X might randomly have a Y child (and man, the trouble & cruelty that would cause). Especially when it's a pegasus or unicorn family with a new earth pony, who have no idea at all that earth ponies do anything but grow plants and so view their new child as disabled?
People get tangled up in identity and capability issues and preconceptions easily.
And despite his goals, his effects were mostly to save a lot of lives even if he could have chosen not to create hybrids and saved those foals anyway despite being a really damn terrible father and trying to open Pandora's Box.
Since I first picked up this story when it was about half-written (and promptly binge-read it in two days), it’s been my favourite story on this site. Your lovely style is so distinctive that the world-building seamlessly integrates with the story. Dialogue flows perfectly, characters have real emotions. The mysteries are deep and enthralling, and I loved getting to dissect the cryptic trails of breadcrumbs you dropped and form my own theories, only to have you bring it all back to something I never could have guessed at. There were moments where I laughed at the dry wit, and moments when I teared up, whether it was from sadness or heartwarming.
So thank you, Estee. Thank you for writing this wonderful work of art, and for sharing it with all of us. I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the future.
9323892
Same
Well done!
A completed quality story longer than The Lord of the Rings.
So many other promising fan-fiction stories have been without updates for years.
You should feel proud of this accomplishment.
And so it ends, and so it begins. I believe Tolkien put it best, "And they lived happily ever after, to the end of their days."
What was it Doctor Manhattan said about nothing actually ending? This particular story might have ended but there are still stories left to be told about this world.
Congratulations!
I have followed many stories as they are written, some of which have never completed. This is this is perhaps the most satisfying of them, not only for completing, but for completing on a satisfying note.
I may not agree with all the characterisations in the 'Verse, but that isn't an unusual thing in a fandom. However what you have done is to take those (mis?)characterisations and fold them into well written and engaging story. That counts for a lot.
As long as you want to keep writing, I will keep reading. And if you decide to turn your hand to something non-pony (or even, in time, full professional writing) then keep us posted.
Karma is a beautiful thing.
If nothing else, I hope Celestia gives Twilight some pointers on adjusting to a life where one has to look down so much.
A degree of tilt indeed.
(Indeed, Fluttershy may well encourage them.)
Thinking about it, when she got the guards going, she asserted the group's authority as the Bearers. Nothing else.
And as for Murdocks, he has done worse than awaken a sleeping giant. He's gotten the attention of a damn good librarian. Albeit one with a lot of other things on her mind.
I really hope Celestia takes up Twilight on that offer. Heck, I hope all of them do. These alicorns need a support group.
The story isn't really over. Every ending is a new beginning; even death just means we won't see a given character again outside of flashbacks and shadows. And goodness knows branches of it have already been told elsewhere. But this part of it has drawn to a natural, incredible close, and I am incredibly grateful that you've seen it through. I mean this more than I ever have before: Thank you for this.
Here's to the future, in all of its possibilities.
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As Applejack herself notes, he still has pegasus genes. The essence is effectively an epigenetic factor. Assuming pure bloodlines on both ends, their kids are going to go through a Punnett square.
So. It is ended. And with a conclusion more satisfying than I could have hoped.
9324211
I'd like to see a story focusing on what's known, not known, and speculated about the shadowlands.
Imagine how enormous any foal of Applejack and Snowflake would be.
Thank you for this story.
9323853
She was interested in him before. That's who she was talking about when she was super drunk in the episode about how everyone is drunk.
9323839 And here I was hoping she was talking about thestrals.
9323853
9324211
Applejack's had her eyes on him for a while. From Drunk Little Ponies:
It's nice when you open a mystery box and something nice happens.