Squarification · 12:38pm Dec 11th, 2018
It had to happen eventually, I suppose. The sunlit uplands of twenty-four have passed, and the dour, dreich, thoroughly square realms of twenty-five loom with ominous intent.
I'll cope by adjusting my opinion drastically. Twenty-four? Ethereal. Ephemeral. Gittish and confused in equal measure. Twenty-five, now. That's a number that could be a foundation for anything. Good and diligent and sharp about its business. Really, when you think about it, a square's just a slightly askew diamond.
That necessary preliminary dispensed with, it's been an excellent past year for me on the site and in the fandom. I've written things I'm proud of, finished things I'm delighted to see done, whooshed past milestones, went to my first con, planned more exciting stuff that should take shape in the coming year, and gotten into the habit of editing quality things for quality folk. It's been a delight on nigh-on all fronts, and that's largely due to everyone who's gawked and commented and patiently tolerated me. Much obliged to you all, as always. 
As a wee thanks, and to keep you posted on how words continue to be perpetrated behind the scenes, I offer up the following contextless passage from my Jinglemas entry. Engage trepid curiosity and/or concern on my behalf and/or train-wreck fascination as appropriate.
Then somepony in the audience — I didn’t see who — ruined it. Just as I was trying to come up with the right words as the chorus to move the scene along, they piped up from the back. “We’re sure this is the Hearthswarming play, right? Not Sombra: The Early Years?”
“Which knave dared speak? Which cur had the gall to cast aspersions on Dread Princess Platinum!?” Even as I made strangled noises and tried to calm her down with a frantic sotto voice, Dinky’s horn glowed. She leaned off the stage, her crown wobbling, and brandished her jaggy sword at the audience. Her voice dropped to a snarl. “Bring them to us! Bring us their bones.”
In the front row, I noticed Ditzy Doo, one of her eyes shining as she watched Dinky, lean closer to her neighbour and proudly announce, “I gave birth to that!”
Have an excellent day, all. Tune in in two weeks for the usual gurgled festive enthusiasm. Maybe earlier as and when the above finishes getting perpetrated.
That last line makes it. XD
In the beyond, Princess Platinum looks on approvingly, while Clover and Smart Cookie facehoof. (Pansy's busy trying to keep the friendly card game between Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Puddinhead friendly. Not that you can kill or injure the dead, but sticking a sword through an old friend and national icon is not done.)
Also, you're now not just square, but 52!
...
By Celestia, I feel so old...
That's adorable. And awesome. Can't wait!
Best Pony. Best Filly.
(And in case anyone thinks this might indicate who Carabas is writing for, I actually didn't request either this year.)
Happy birthday. I look forward to more of Dinky going through the oh-so-adorable megalomaniacal phase that every unicorn seems to. (Some just never grow out of it without outside assistance.)
Happy birthday!
Then I read your snippet. I smiled, I nodded, I looked at the screaming abomination of collected ideas that my entry is, and I reached for the gasoline. Time to start over again.
All the best plays end in fire.
Ponyville was no exception.
The elementary school had almost reached Winter Break, the students were rife with the boundless energy of youth, and once the play was over, school would be out for two whole weeks. In child terms, that's seventeen snow forts, one hundred and six cups of steaming hot chocolate, uncounted snowballs, three cases of snow nip that isn't that serious and shouldn't cause anypony to stay indoors, etc...
But first, the play was the thing, to catch the...
While I have to commend Dinky's improvisational skills and the spirit she's putting into the performance, I can't help but feel that something about the message of the play must have gotten lost in translation.
Then again, Sombra like came within a handful of generations at most of the Founders and had to get his ideas on governance and proper ruler-ruled relations somewhere...
Oh my god he's catching up! *flings up beard as distraction and runs away*
You're just 52? So young.
I remember turning 25. I think my next is 72...
Happy Birthday!
And Dinky is so wonderful in the play. Derpy has every right to be proud.
I wonder who the narrator is? Is it Luna, writing from personal experience?
Well, have a great time. I'm just going to sit here and contemplate the fact that I'm older than you...
Heh, happy birthday, Carabas; glad the year's been going so well for you, and here's to many more such. :)
(How am I more than three years older than you, though?)
...As for your concerns about being square, though, um. Hasn't your avatar been a Raricube for years now?
and re the excerpt: Hah! Well, that looks like something to look forward to. :)
Happy birthday!
And is that the S word I see? 👀
I look forward to reading that.
Also, it's my birthday today as well, so that's fun.
Happy birthday!
4979736
Duplicate birthday wishes!
Belated responses?
Belated responses.
4979528
Ditzy's pride in her little method-acting megalomaniac gives it that vital je-ne-sais-quoi, I quite concur.
4979535
4979536
Glad you like it, and hope the full thing satisfies!
4979539
A wise thing to do in most cases. Noble's an astute sort. Glad you like it also.
4979542
Can confirm, none of the ponies I've been asked to write for are named in that wee snippet. Dinky and Ditzy should play just part of a varyingly-literal cast around them.
Equestria's DSM-5-equivalent must make for fascinating reading. Developmental megalomania's a bane for many young unicorns.
4979545
Don't be fooled by a relatively polished section. Most of what's hiding in the google doc right now is a smattering of snippets, confused notes, tracts of empty space, and wobbly sections which I'm trying to force coherency onto. Some sections are fighting back.
4979547
If aforementioned sections fight back too hard, tell my family I love them, laugh in the faces of whoever I owe money to, and then finish it on my behalf. Heck, have a standing invitation to finish it regardless. The poor person I've been inflicted on deserves something decent.
4979576
Taking a personal interpretation of historical characters and events can go so badly wrong. And so badly right as well, potentially.
The old unicorn royalty certainly weren't all quite as mellow and easy-going as Platinum as I've portrayed her.
Plenty of inspiration there for a Sombra on the make.
4979577
You just wait till I'm older than you.
4979615
You're not too far off being good and square again, then. Happens to all the best folk.
4979630
Thank you! Don't contemplate the age difference too hard. Honestly, I'm just younger out of spite.
One of the other foals marauding around Ponyville narrates. Getting their diction right might not go entirely smoothly, but I'll give it my best effort.
4979655
Thank you! Hope everything around the extract satisfies as well.
Fair point about the Raricube, but I'd contend there's a dimensional difference between her and my newfound squareness. Cubity's got an extra one, the sneaky wee thing.
4979663
Thank you! That's indeed the S-word. The lad himself shan't actually feature, but Dinky's performance as Princess Platinum may closely resemble him in his sunnier moods.
4979736
And happy belated birthday also! Hope it was at least as happy as mine. 
Hope it satisfies.
4979803
Thank you! I reckon djthomp and I managed to co-ordinate that very well, though I don't mean to brag.
4980160
>"elements of your lineage"
>Prince Vanadium
You did that on purpose.
(I approve.)
4980165
Oh god, I wish I had. That was accidentally great.
4980160
*sad trombone*
4980169
Mentally substitute her get-up on the stage for something with more red and plonk in a few crystal references. It might improve her, who can say.
4980174
Niiice
4980160
Yeah, I know that feeling. You need a bigger club for the unruly mob.
4980192
Whoever coined the phrase 'the pen is mightier than the sword' obviously had bitter experience of trying to subdue some unruly run-on sentences with a broadsword and coming off second-best.
4980160
Just occurred to me that I'm nearly a cube, myself. It's not often that one has that opportunity!
4980160
Well, you've got quite a good track record. :)
Heh, true, true. :)
4980345
For what it's worth, you wear your nigh-144 years very well.
4980423
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Happy birthday, you ancient, decrepit bag of bones. I know it's coming a few days late, but it's not like you'll have died of old age in the meanti— Oh, wait, he's gone.
I know I shouldn't make fun when I'm not that far behind you, but as far as I'm concerned, the fine line between whippersnapper and tired old man is a moving one, which always coincidentally lies between my current age and yours, and I fully intend to remind you of this every birthday you have for the rest of your (very few remaining) years.
4981296
Oh fuck me, he's younger. What sort of bullshit universe is this.
4981354
The one you live in (at least until your pacemaker breaks down).