Read It Now Reviews #62 – What is Missing, What is Lost; Babel; You Can’t C Me; The Most Annoying Infestation; Spring Cleaning · 12:22am Nov 15th, 2015
Sorry for my relative silence this week – I entered into the last writeoff, then read some more writeoff stories, and spent a lot of time writing stories that I didn’t end up feeling quite happy with, and am going to have to heavily revise.
However, I did finally hit on a revision I did like, so I published another story this week!
The Perfect Cure for the Common Cold
Comedy, Romance (FlutterDash, RariJack)
1,063 wordsWinter has come early this year, and after a long night out rounding up her animals in the face of Rainbow Dash's "awesome" snowstorm, Fluttershy is oh so cold.
But the worst of it is that Rarity knows exactly which pony Fluttershy wishes would come along to warm her up.
A thousand word long fluffy, comedic shipfic by TD? What is the world coming to?
Don’t answer that. I’ve already seen the news.
I do like shipfics – I started out writing them, after all – and, after participating in a few conversations on various shipping forums about the dearth of mane 6 shipfics in recent times – and the odd dearth of RariJack stories in particular – I challenged the folks in the RariJack forum to, collectively, publish 50,000 words of RariJack fanfiction in the month of November.
We’ll see if we make it, but I plan on writing at least one more RariJack story this month.
Really going back to my roots, there – brings back memories of my first two stories.
But enough reminiscing, it is time for reviews!
Today’s stories:
What is Missing, What is Lost by PaulAsaran
Babel by Cold in Gardez
You Can’t C Me by Ugly Turnip
The Most Annoying Infestation by ocalhoun
Spring Cleaning by Pascoite
What is Missing, What is Lost
by PaulAsaran
Drama, Sad
11,070 wordsFor a long time, Twilight could feel it; a sense of emptiness she couldn't explain. Now that she's a princess, that feeling is stronger than ever. She finally decides to bring the matter up with Celestia. In response, Celestia gives her an old book.
The contents of that book will change her perspective of the world... and her beloved mentor. Just accepting the truth is a challenge. And after that?
She has to make a decision.
Why I added it: I love reveals about the nature of the world.
Review
Twilight feels like there is something missing, deep down inside, in the depths of her very soul. It has been there ever since the first time she used the elements, but now, it has become constant, almost gnawing. Something is missing, and there is a void where it was supposed to be.
Celestia, after being told about the feeling, fears she knows, and brings Twilight to the old Castle of the Two Sisters, where, after some amount of study, Twilight realizes the truth – there were once seven Elements of Harmony. One is missing – and has been for a very, very long time.
What became of it?
Celestia knows, and holds the answer in the book she carries with her in her magic. But the eldest alicorn seems terrified at the prospect of Twilight consuming that book’s contents about 300 years of history.
But it is Celestia. What is the worst that could be in there?
A story about Forgiveness with a capital F, this story plays with the idea that Tyrantlestia was a thing, but isn’t anymore, and that Celestia is deeply regretful of her actions, and what that means for Twilight’s relationship with her mentor. Does it change anything? Should it? Does it mean that Twilight loves the Princess any less than she did before?
Twilight supplies her answer at the end, and while I think it is incomplete (and also harder won than it would be for me), it is correct in its essence. The story seems to imply that THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES, as Twilight is now going to have to go find Forgiveness in the world, but the story ends at that point, and I think that was a reasonable enough choice – though if the writer ever did write a sequel, I could see it happening (and also being a bit different in terms of tone).
If I had a complaint about this piece, it is that it is too melodramatic in places – I think that there’s such a thing as trepidation, and Celestia being scared, but this story felt like it was trying a bit too hard on the build-up, to the point where I felt like Celestia was being pulled a bit out of character. I’ve always had a hard time really seeing Celestia as being very angsty – Celestia seems like a very well-adjusted, balanced individual, and thus I always have a hard time when people try to present her as struggling with inner demons on the scale presented in this piece.
Still, if you can suspend your disbelief and believe in angstlestia, I think this story is fairly decent, even if in the end you can likely predict the entire course of the story from its subject matter alone.
Recommendation: Worth Reading
Babel
by Cold in Gardez
Slice of Life
1,157 wordsOnce upon a time, everypony spoke the same language.
Then came Discord, and everything changed. Was it a malicious prank? Boredom? An attempt to teach everypony a lesson? We can't ask him, because he's gone, and who knows when he'll be back.
If language is the glue that holds society together, what happens when it turns to sand?
Why I added it: It won the last pony minific writeoff.
Review
A day in the life of Mister Cake seven months after Discord made it so that everyone could only speak one language – a language which sounded normal to their ears, but alien to everypony else’s.
Ponies have gradually adapted – the foals learn their parents’ languages, as well as having constructed a pidgin tongue of their own around Miss Cheerilee’s. Twilight has been working on magical translator devices (she’s up to seven words now!). Pinkie Pie has learned some words in everyone’s languages, just because she’s Pinkie Pie.
But what the story is really about is not any of those things, but the idea that even without language, there can still be friendship, community, and love.
And it executes on that idea well enough, if in a very simple way.
Want to read a story which is a brief exploration of a simple but solid premise? This is a good place to go.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
You Can’t C Me
by UglyTurnip
Comedy, Human, Random, Professional Wrestling, Crackfic
1,744 wordsQueen Chrysalis has won.
With her magic now far more powerful than even Celestia's, nopony can stop her complete conquest of Equestria.
Well, maybe nopony can stop her, but one man can.
AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!
Why I added it: It is too stupid not to read.
Review
Well, that happened.
Chrysalis has defeated Celestia, but the alicorn has one trick left up her sleeve. She summons… John Cena.
Who proceeds to no-sell Chryaslis’s attacks and then beat her with ridiculous professional wrestling moves while loud horns blare in the background.
On the one hand, this is totally ridiculous.
On the other hand, no one yelled Cena sucks.
On the gripping hand, I don’t even watch professional wrestling, and all that I know about it comes from this video:
So I suspect I appreciate this less than I might if I was a fan.
As-is, it is pretty much a ridiculous crackfic, and while it is mildly amusing in the way that any story that is just very random in this fashion can be, it… didn’t really do a whole lot for me.
Recommendation: Not Recommended, but professional wrestling fans who like crackfics might get more out of it than I did.
The Most Annoying Infestation
by ocalhoun
Comedy, Slice of Life, Fluff
4,488 wordsRainbow discovers that she has a pest problem in her house. The pest turns out to be both cuter and more annoying than she expected.
Why I added it: I follow ochaloun, and sometimes rummage through his cabinets for food.
Review
Rainbow Dash’s house is infested. Sure, she lives in the sky, and sure, Twilight cast a spell to keep out pests, but there’s SOMETHING eating her foot and making scratching noises. Stupid Twilight needs to come fix her spell.
But when Twilight finds her spell working, and then uses another spell to find the “pest”, the pair discover that rather than flying rats or bugs or whatever else, it was actually a bat pony colt who is now terrified of Twilight after her spell hurt his ears.
The only solution is to have Rainbow Dash look after him while Twilight goes to find his parents, an idea that Rainbow Dash is less than fond of.
This is labelled Comedy, but really this is more of a fluff piece than anything; while there is some comedy, the comedic tone of the earlier part of the story fades away as the story goes on, and the bit with the bat pony colt is pretty much pure fluff.
Unfortunately, my heart did not melt for the little guy; while the overall idea was okay, the story as a whole kind of made a turn into fluff-town that didn’t really work all that well for me, and in the end I wasn’t left with the warm and fuzzy feelings it seemed to be aiming for by the time the bat pony’s parents came to pick him up.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Spring Cleaning
by Pascoite
Slice of Life
2,647 wordsDerpy is finally going to get rid of that old book on her shelf. The memories can go with it.
Why I added it: I liked it in the writeoff.
Review
Derpy is cleaning her house, and has gotten to the bookshelf. Some books are read frequently, some almost never… but one, one sits there and continues to taunt her, year after year. She doesn’t read it – not anymore – but it used to be so terribly important to her, and she can’t get rid of it, even if it contains painful memories.
But this year… this year she’s finally going to deal with it. Stop torturing herself with its presence. She’s going to go through it, and then be done with it.
But the book is more than it seems, and then there are the letters in the back…
The story of Derpy finally letting go of the last vestiges of Dinky’s father, while simultaneously treasuring the one good thing he ever gave her – Dinky – this is a story about moving on, but also not allowing the past to haunt you unnecessarily.
This is one of those heartwarming pieces which is a little bit melancholy but meant to make you feel good at the end after bringing you a bit low with the character in the middle, and it does its job quite decently.
Recommendation: Worth Reading, especially if you like the idea of a story about moving on in life.
Summary
What is Missing, What is Lost by PaulAsaran
Worth reading
Babel by Cold in Gardez
Worth reading
You Can’t C Me by Ugly Turnip
Not Recommended
The Most Annoying Infestation by ocalhoun
Not Recommended
Spring Cleaning by Pascoite
Worth reading
And there we go!
I do plan on getting more stories out there this November, and I’m trying to get at least some writing done every single day. This week I actually produced three new stories (on top of The Perfect Cure for the Common Cold, which is an edited writeoff story), though all of them are going to need some editing work before they go up. Still, progress!
Or maybe the opposite, as that means I have three more unfinished stories.
Ah, well. One day at a time.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 93
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 372
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1723
Dat space, tho
I really have to say about Babel that V gubhtug vg jnf na vagrerfgvat fgbel nebhaq n cybg cbvag V unq arire ernyyl gubhtug nobhg. V yvxrq vg qhevat gur jevgrbss naq rira orggre abj. Erpbzzraqrq.
So whyyyyy did you add that first one, hmmmm? :V
Ah well, headcanon's gonna get in the way of everyone at some point or another. I consider this to be a success! As always, many thanks for the review.
I'm not a wrestling fan, and I enjoyed "You Can't C Me" due to how stupid and ridiculous it was. The only fanfic that's more crazy and more random than "You Can't C Me" I've read is "TWILIGHT SPARKLE FIXES EVERYTHING".
I read that fic 'You can't C me'... It was good for a chuckle.
Man, you are harsh. I just can't win with you.
^.^ Keep it up! I really need to know why my best stories suck, because that helps me do better in the future.