Read It Now Reviews #32 – Crying on the Inside, A Guide to Magic, The Pain of Eternity, Tenacity, Rainbow Dash Explains To All Her Friends What Updog Is · 4:47am May 15th, 2015
Pardon my dust.
Yes, that’s right, I’m back, though I never really left so much as vaguely sauntered just offscreen. I haven’t really been reading a whole lot of stuff, or writing a whole lot of stuff, or really even doing a whole lot of stuff for the last month. I just kind of… vanished. Played a bit of Heroes of the Storm, Blizzard’s new MOBA game… but frankly, that’s not where I’ve been.
I’ve just been gone.
I’d like to thank everyone who said nice things to me or sent me notes because they noticed that I had somehow vanished off the face of the Earth, or at least of FIMFiction. I appreciated the concern, and I'm sorry I've been gone. I like it here, and I like writing stuff for you folks.
In any case, I am back now, and am more than two thousand words into Mistletrapped’s fifth chapter at the time of writing this.
So what am I up to now?
Hating Reviewing stories, of course!
These may be a little bit less fresh than my usual batches of Read It Now stories, seeing as I’ve been gone for a month, but they’re all at least recentish.
Enjoy!
Today’sThis last month’s stories:
Crying on the Inside by Arwhale
A Guide to Magic by bookplayer
The Pain of Eternity by Wanderer D
Tenacity by Fan of Most Everything
Rainbow Dash Explains To All of Her Friends What Updog Is by Aquaman
Crying on the Inside
by Arwhale
Tragedy, Sad, Slice of Life
1,134 wordsIt’s true. Sometimes a tear’ll slip out… it’s bound to happen, sometimes… but for the most part, I cry on the inside.
But right now, as I watch my friends weeping in a huddle together... I'm not crying.
Not even on the inside.
Why I added it: It was a requisite “featured because it used a line from the last episode” story.
Review
Applejack is a bit angry at Rainbow Dash for making such a big scene over Tank dying. After all, he is going to come back in a few months, unlike some ponies.
But it isn’t just one emotion; Applejack knows it is wrong for her to feel this way, even if Rainbow Dash is being overdramatic.
Obvious fic is obvious, but it didn’t really dwell in the depths too much, and it did what it was trying to do and got out of the way. This was a decent enough character piece, but in the end, it was probably a bit too obvious for my tastes.
Recommendation: Not Recommended unless you like obvious character pieces.
A Guide to Magic
by bookplayer
Slice of Life
9,411 wordsPrincess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns is the center of magical research in Equestria. Since Apple Bloom developed a love of potion making and an interest in the theory behind magic, she recognizes what an honor it would be to study there. But that would also mean being the only non-unicorn student to ever attend, leaving her friends and family, and moving to a strange city... and that's if she can pass an entrance exam designed to select the most magically gifted unicorns.
Spike has never wanted more than to be Twilight's number one assistant. But when Twilight points out that there's a pony right in front of him who needs an experienced assistant even more than she does, it means considering a life where he's making the most of his talents... but one without Twilight by his side.
For both of them, facing hard decisions are just part of growing up.
Why I added it: It won second place in the “Great Expectations” write-off.
ReviewApple Bloom goes to Magic School for Some Reason A Guide to Magic is about Apple Bloom being offered the opportunity to go to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns as the first ever non-unicorn to attend. This is a big decision – Apple Bloom would be clearing the way for other non-unicorns to attend, as Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia have been planning. But that also means that Apple Bloom will be the only non-unicorn student, will have to move away from her family to attend school in a strange city, and make an entirely new set of friends.
Well, not unless a certain number one assistant goes along to help another pony through school…
This is a story about Apple Bloom and Spike making a big decision to go out into the world on their own, forging their own path through life. And both of them know that there is more at stake than just themselves; opening up Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns to non-unicorns will be a big deal.
Like many of bookplayer’s stories, this piece presented the characters very strongly; Applejack and Twilight both wanted what was best for Apple Bloom and Spike, and tried to steer them in the right direction while simultaneously guiding them to the correct decision. The characters are voiced pretty strongly, and the various pros and cons of the decision are presented pretty clearly – along with what the older characters think are the right ones. Spike and Apple Bloom’s decision making process was shown pretty well, and the test (and its solution) was interesting enough.
If this story had a weakness, it is that it is pretty straightforward; when you go into this story, you know more or less what is going to happen pretty early, and there isn’t a whole lot of tension about the outcome of the decisions. However, the focus of the piece is not on that tension, but the why of their decisions.
All in all, I found it an enjoyable read, and if you want to read about Apple Bloom deciding about whether or not to go to magic school, I think you’ll probably find it worth your time.
Recommendation: Worth Reading
The Pain of Eternity
by Wanderer D
Slice of Life, Immortality Angst
2,462 wordsTwilight faces the thought of immortality with her usual aplomb: falling down into a ball of misery and confusion about her role, and what she will do in the eventual absence of her friends and family.
That is, until a much older Twilight Sparkle takes the time to talk to her.
Why I added it: It was featured and promised me time travel.
Review
Twilight Sparkle goes back in time to tell her past self that it is ridiculous to angst over immortality after Twilight reads a book about how lonely Celestia must be.
At first, I assumed the story was a parody of such stories, but it appeared to be a pretty straightforward just “no, that’s wrong, and this is why.”
Unfortunately, while it isn’t wrong, it is just… boring. There’s nothing here that I don’t already know, there aren’t any surprises, nor anything beyond the obvious, and nothing really interesting happens anywhere. There’s not really any tension or stakes, it is all just kind of… there, and ends up feeling a bit trite. It felt more like an author tract than a story.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Tenacity
by Fan of Most Everything
Sad, Immortality Angst
1,599 wordsThree months can seem like an eternity, but in the timeless nature of hibernation, it passes in a blink. Spring is here, and Tank has awoken, ready to reunite with Rainbow Dash.
However, there's a small complication.
Why I added it: It was featured.
Review
Tank wakes up after winter ends.
Well, after a winter ends. Too bad it is the wrong one…
Another immortality angst story of sorts, I thought that the core idea of it was potentially interesting (and I have seen some mildly interesting stories from Tank’s long-lived point of view), but sadly, I don’t really feel like this story did the idea justice. The twist ending rendered the whole thing kind of pointless, and really, the story never really went anywhere with the idea, it just kind of was the idea, and then was over.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Rainbow Dash Explains To All of Her Friends What Updog Is
by Aquaman
Comedy, Random, Self-Conscious Feature Box Bait that ironically didn’t actually get featured
3,368 wordsOr tries to, anyway. Several things get in her way, among them apple trees, the incompatibility of crystal castles and modern technomagical wiring, mass confusion, and at least one aggressively terrible joke.
In retrospect, she probably should've waited until the afternoon for this.
Why I added it: Aquaman is a good writer and the story’s title is too audacious not to read it.
Review
The first (and only) chapter of this story is titled “I mean, clearly it doesn’t go well, otherwise this would be like 500 words long”, and getting a chuckle out of me before I’ve even started reading a story is often a good sign.
Rainbow Dash tries to get her friends to ask her what updog is.
She fails.
Repeatedly.
This is considerably funnier than the actual updog joke, but unfortunately, I’m not sure if it really quite worked for me; Rainbow Dash getting increasingly frustrated is in principle pretty funny, as is her trying really, really hard to pull off the joke, but unfortunately I didn’t really feel like the story paid off very well, and I think it ended up lingering so long on Rainbow Dash’s frustration that it stopped being really funny – I just didn’t feel like it had enough payoff. The reversal at the end with Pinkie Pie did make me chuckle a bit, but there, too, it felt like it lingered a bit longer than it should have after the final punchline.
Her head bobbed again, but this time Rainbow didn’t speak at first, instead seeming to hold back a snort. Once she’d gotten herself together, her restraint over her grin had all but disappeared. “You, uh…” she managed to squeak, “you think there's any updog in those trees?”
Now Applejack’s eyebrow dropped again, joining its twin in a low ridge over her crinkled eyes. “Up-what?”
“Updog.” The branch groaned as Rainbow rocked back and forth on it, shaking a couple apples loose before Applejack could move to catch them. “What, you’ve never heard of updog before?”
For a moment, Applejack tried to sort out what Rainbow was trying to say, but in the moment after she realized she’d be wasting her time. If Rarity claimed she needed her beauty sleep before she could look her best, maybe Rainbow hadn’t gotten enough of her brainy sleep today. “Can’t say I have,” she said.
“Aw, really?” Her friend was practically quivering now, though Applejack was near enough now to gather up the victims of her motion and keep them from bruising against the ground. “I know what it is. I could totally tell you. Want me to tell you what it is?”
Between the tree’s complaints and the thumps of apples colliding inside her baskets, Applejack found it thankfully easy to keep her sigh quiet and hidden from Rainbow’s ears. “Maybe later,” she told her. “I got work to get done right now.”
Recommendation: Not Recommended unless you don’t mind pacing issues.
Summary
Crying on the Inside by Arwhale
Not Recommended
A Guide to Magic by bookplayer
Worth Reading
The Pain of Eternity by Wanderer D
Not Recommended
Tenacity by Fan of Most Everything
Not Recommended
Rainbow Dash Explains To All of Her Friends What Updog Is by Aquaman
Not Recommended
And that’s that! Now, back to writing more Mistletrapped.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later – Important: 66
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later – High Priority: 252
Number of stories listed as Read It Later: 1565
Ah good! I found myself missing these.
You went AFK too? I just came back from semi-unintentionally quitting pone cold turkey for two months, and in other tabs I'm catching up to everything that happened while I was gone, so you might be seeing comments from me on things that are weeks old.
On which note: sorry about your (disgusting) keyboard.
Not having read "A Guide to Magic": I think it's interesting that when JasonTheHuman did it with Applejack it was obviously farcical, yet with Apple Bloom it makes perfect sense. They're not really all that different, but I couldn't imagine them switching between those stories.
And I doubt there's a review bad enough to keep me from a story by someone I already follow with a title like "Rainbow Dash Explains To All of Her Friends What Updog Is".
Hello, Mister Dragon.
I'm just leaving this note here to remind you that you are still being watched.
You will never escape my attention.
Ever.
Thank you for your continued hard work in reading stories and telling us not to read them ourselves. We all appreciate your efforts.
*slow nod*
We're watching you.
Always.
Oh no, TD's back!
Hide yo fics, hide yo wife!Also, what KsR said. Cos I'm lazy.
And yes, everyone read A Guide to Magic.
And here I was, wondering if some adventurers had finally given you an XPectomy and made off with your hoard.
Good to see you back, just in time for another writeoff!
Looks like a pretty good batch of stories to return to. Glad you're back!
3070421
Glad you're back too!
I thought there was a distinct lack of unimpressed dragon noises in my feed of late. Glad to have you back on the horsewords, TD.
I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED
Anyway, I appreciate your effort to earnestly review the thing I wrote on less than an hour of sleep mostly as a method of coping with this whole debacle. Makes me feel like my incessant, sleep-deprived giggling on an international train has been retrospectively validated.
I'm glad to know you're doing all right. :) And you're just in time for the next writeoff!
Hooray! He's not dead!
Wb.
I wasn't afraid. Everypony needs a little break now and then.
3070409
Thank you! I'm sorry I was gone for so long. Hopefully I shall be more regular in the future.
Clearly, I need to eat more prunes or something.
3070411
Aw, thanks!
3070421
My new keyboard only has seven keys left that still have visible letters on them.
3070454
You're welcome!
I'd say I'm always glad to take one for the team, but that's a blatant lie.
3070520
Hah! Like they'd ever get past the traps in the not-so-cunningly disguised secret secondary entrance that they all seem to use.
The main way isn't trapped at all, but who would expect that?
3070573
I was happier with today's batch of stories, on the whole, though that was because I was reading off of my "read these stories by good writers you haven't read yet" list, which generally helps.
3070686
Yeah, I chuckled a bit when I noticed how much effort you'd gone through for that, only for the whole thing not to make it.
3070755
Indeedy do!
Now, to actually finish stuff...
3071009
I say the same thing every day.
3071790 You gotta file down those talons more often.
What is an updog?
Heh, well it's good to see you're still here, and yeah, I hear you on the story. TBH I have no clue—at all—why it's on the top of the FB. I honestly thought it would be mostly ignored... but... anyway, thanks for reviewing!