Laws and... · 8:57pm March 14th
Random Person: “So, Paul, what did you do this past weekend?”
Paul: “Oh, you know, just spent a few hours untangling pig intestines and putting them on metal funnels like condoms.”
Random Person:
So I went to visit my parents this past weekend, as is my habit once every two or three weeks. What they neglected to tell me was that they were making smoked sausage that weekend. Not that I minded; it meant I got to help. But when I say my parents make smoked sausage, that doesn’t mean going to the store to buy a few links and putting them on a grill; we do it from scratch. That means buying the individual slabs of fat and meat (in this case pork and venison (although the venison was donated by a family member who had a successful hunting season)), grinding it up with this big-ass blender, mixing it all at the proper ratio with spices, then using a large metal grinder to put it in pig intestines.
And yes, the intestines get all tangled up, just like a ball of yarn. Someone has to spend time untangling lengths of it, and do it fast enough to keep up with the filling process. Oh, and it’s all immersed in warm brine water to keep it slick and add flavor.
Also, curing salt? That stuff is pink. Like, Fluttershy’s mane pink. Who would have thought?
We made 50 lbs of sausage, half of which is going to my aunt and uncle. That’s a lot of meat, but in the past we’d make much more. My parents’ personal record is 200 lbs, but when I was little and it was my maternal grandparents leading the charge, sausage making was a family ordeal. We’d produce as much as 600 lbs in a go to distribute amongst all the families. Seriously, guys, that’s a lot of work.
Also, back then we used proper, homemade smokehouses; small buildings designed specifically for the purpose of holding the smoke in while the sausage links dangled from rods. My parents still have theirs, but alas, they’re too old to go around lifting rods covered in awkwardly-placed, hard-to-balance sausage links that can weigh up to 30 lbs on a single rod. It also takes a long time, and during that time you have to stick around to tend to the fire, which would often lead to my dad staying up until three in the morning. But a few years ago my dad bought a small electric smoker that feeds on wood pellets. It’s too small to handle more than 15-20 lbs at a time, so the actual cooking process is now days instead of a single night, but it’s a lot easier to use, no senior citizens have to risk back surgery, and it can largely be trusted to handle itself. Tastes about the same too.
I’ve often thought about continuing this tradition once my parents are gone. They’ve got all the equipment, and it’s not like it’s hard. A two-person job for sure, but still easy. I was listening to my parents discuss the cost, and it sounds like it’s competitive against store-bought sausages. And besides, well-made food is just better when it’s well-made by you.
That’s all from me today. Tune in next week for Octavia having a conversation with Discord and Derpy, Cadance and Twilight living the married life, and Sunset Shimmer in Spaaaaaaaaaaace (again)!
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Yay sosig
That's certainly something. Either an AU or both of them had a very odd way of coping with Shining's death.
I heard you mention untangling pig intestines and went "Ah, sausage making". Glad to see I was right. n_n
And glad they've got a system that means nobody gets too injured.
Homemade is always better, and you can tweak the recipe exactly to your tastes. Some of the best sausages I ever ate were made with bear and javelina meat. Try getting those at a market!
Ah, farm life. Nothing like learning how the sausage is made.
That's pretty cool!
The more I learn about your family, the more delightfully quirky they and your growing up sound. And all that juicy, fresh, home-cooked sausage!
I’d probably be too lazy to ever take the initiative on that sort of thing myself, but I wouldn’t say no to pitching in with others if it ever arose.
This reminds me of my own family gatherings around dove season as a child. For reference, I shot my first gun before I got my first set of lego toys. My family made the slow transition from bb-guns to 22s to shot guns, starting on 20 and moving up to 12 for everyone, though the girl didn't stick around for too long, not that there were many in my generation. We'd then take a large party to a water tank out in a field of the farm my great uncle/aunt owned, and get to it. We were a very good shot as a group, and I tagged my first bird when I was fourteen. So long as we're not too good a shot (i.e. once, Dad hit one close range and the blast just tore the body to shreds. all that was left of the poor thing was feathers and wings.) there would be birds a plenty and we'd eat well. Anybody who wanted some either needed to have shot or help clean them, and defeathering is that painful process.
Hmmm I must thank you for this post. This has brought back good memories of when I used to help out my dad and a neighbor and family friend of ours with stuff like smoked sausage. He had/has a bunch of pigs. And we’d help out with that. We’d also proses any cow or deer over at his garage.
Ah good times.
Family traditions are super important and I absolutely love hand-made sausages.
This reminds me of our yearly cooking trip to wifey's parents' place. In the fall, we get out a huge cauldron and make a batch of Brunswick stew to freeze and eat over the next year. We usually end up with about 50 quart-size containers of it. I love these kinds of traditions. When I was little, my parents and some family friends would spend a day in the summer making a bunch of pierogies.
We used to make sausage with all the kids home and some of the relatives over. Nothing was better than the 'test' burgers we'd make of a little dab of sausage cooked up in a cast iron skillet. We used the plastic liners, though. Less chance of them breaking. The whole basement would be full of people, chopping and grinding and stuffing. Had a relative/friend with a smoker who would smoke the whole batch in exchange for a cut, and we'd have homemade sausage with scalloped potatoes for the longest time. Oh, how I miss that.
My parents church occasionally holds fun classes on all sorts of things including sausage making, beer tasting, and homemade pasta.
This weekend I am going to be making several traditional Irish recipes for St. Patrick's Day including homemade Soda bread, cottage pie, colcanon, boxty cakes, and maybe some Irish coffee.
My family manufactures wine and mead by the drum. Where we live, you can make two hundred fifty gallons annually per adult of drinking age. At fifteen drinking age adults, we make a considerable volume of alcohol.
We won't drink what is made this year for another... seventeen years, I think? I'll have to check the cellar to be sure.
Oh, the joys of America.
5772338
I've never heard of anyone getting hurt while making our sausage. That being said, the risk is certainly there; we often joke about how the metal grinder will someday add fingers to the meat for flavoring. It's no more or less safe than any other grinder, the jokes are just to remind us that the risk exists.
5772344
Javelina I understand, but bear? Now that's interesting.
5772354
I never really got into guns. My sister and I each had a bb gun though, with which we both shot many a squirrel or bird, which we'd clean and give to my mom to cook later. Now that I'm an adult I hardly ever use guns nor do I own one, although I look to inherit a few from my parents. We learned recently that while I'm crap with a handgun, I'm pretty good with a rifle.
Hunting is more my brother's thing, and my sister lives in Japan, so...
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Now with all the kids grown and living all over the place, it's hard to get together for those kinds of things. I do indeed miss it.
5772389
Oh, God, yes. We had more leftover meat than we expected and my dad made patties out of them that night. For "taste testing", obviously. That stuff is sinfully good.
My mom was the one doing the filling, and she only had the intestines break on her one time. Generally speaking, this spring's run was as painless as could be.
5772404
I should do stuff like that more. I always enjoy them but I never think to look for them.
5772424
My dad used to make beer. He tried several different varieties in search of a favorite, and some of them came out... ick, but he'd always drink it because he'd feel it a waste not to. I couldn't judge because I don't drink, but it is somewhat disappointing that he only kept up the hobby for a few years. I'm not sure if he still has the equipment for it.
5772435
I was more referring to your comments about your old smoker and the age of your folks. n_n I figure if you've been making sausage this long and not lost a digit, you're doing something right.
5772446
Ah, yes, that's true. I wish they'd keep using the smoker, but there comes a point when convenience trumps risks.
Curing salt is dyed to prevent confusing it with table salt. The dye is red because that doesn't mess with the color of the meat.
5772436
My uncle was a hunter and when he got a bear, he had to do something with all that meat! Bear is pretty greasy and gamy so he made a lot of mixes with other meats. (I may be one of the few people on the planet to have had bear meatloaf.) But for sausages, the meat was just about perfect.
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shrink-laureate.com/paulasaran/2024/Misc/The%20More%20You%20Know.jpg
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Personally, I only ever bought one gun myself, and it was for self defense. Fun to take to the range though. Dove hunting and skeet shooting was something I did annually as a kid, but they were very expensive pastimes. You can hunt and purchase guns here in japan, it's just incredibly difficult and time and expense prohibitive to get licensed.
Where you could spend 250 on a cheap rifle, 20 on a state game license, and have a guy you can visit who needs the hunter for this in the US, the people who actually need guns to deal with the rabid deer and boar population (because humans are the only predators in Japan) cannot get them because just the licensing fees are upwards of 1000USD. At the same time, it's more likely that the country experiences a famine than gun laws being revised.
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Yeah, I figured it would be crazy hard over there. And since my sister went far-left on us she's now of the opinion that most of the world's problems could be solved if the common citizen couldn't get guns, so she's certainly not going to try and get one herself even if she did have the time/money.
So, sausages are better than politics?
5772560
What isn't better than politics?