Fic reviews, November 30th! · 5:32pm Nov 30th, 2023
Nailah is in a really, really bad situation, please help her out D:
Scribbler has done a reading of Obselesence's More Than You Know, with Andre Luc Martinez, Agent0Fluffy and Illya Leonov!
And VisualPony has done a reading of Banana Prince's I…Win?!
H: 2 R: 4 C: 4 V: 2 N: 3
That Nagging Feeling by GeodesicDragon
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Comedy
Princess Celestia must have forgotten something. What could it be?
Okay, so this kind of story is all about the punchline. The buildup is fairly bland, all things considered. It's vaguely amusing seeing a bunch of ponies suggest things she could have forgotten, not to mention experiences they've had with this sort of thing in the past. But again, it's not comedy. And then you hit the end and… it just doesn't deliver. It's not funny in and of itself, and I felt like the actual punchline, the true explanation, was both necessary and missing. I wanted something to justify the otherwise slow slice of life that led up to it. I ultimately got nothing from this.
Not Recommended
Hidden Desires by StormLuna
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Shipping
Princess Luna pays an unannounced — and unceremonious — visit to Twilight.
This story is a couple years old at this point, and this author seems to be quite prolific, so hopefully they've had plenty of practice by now because this isn't so hot. The writing is rough, the dialogue is wooden, stilted and unnatural, especially Twilight, who spends a large portion of the story just repeating herself. Luna and Twilight, of course, have Always Loved Each Other, and by "Always Loved Each Other" I mean we find out a sentence before Luna finishes her confession that Twilight has a crush on her, too. And then they — and I am not exaggerating — make out for an entire hour. Even if the writing had been bad, I could have excused a cute fic about a ship I enjoy, but the shipping doesn't deliver either. By the end, I was just glad it was over.
Not Recommended
You're a What?! by TheNewYorkBrony
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: EQG Comedy
Wait, why did Sunset call her "human" Twilight?
This story doesn't leave a lot to the imagination. Read the description, that's pretty much all that happens. But other than that, this is crafted well and it's kind of fun watching Sci-Twi have this existential crisis. Though I will say I felt like the timing was off somehow? I mean, this comes after Friendship Games since Sci-Twi's on their side, so what about the after-credits scene where she meets Princess Twilight? Well, it's only a minor concern.
Recommended for Sci-Twi Fans Only
My Final Friendship Report by HoneyQuill
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Immortality Angst
It's what it says on the tin. <_< The first half of this story, my main thought was that Twilight was spending a lot of time telling Celestia things that she herself probably knew about at the time? That is, how her friends died. And gee, wouldn't you know it, they all died very poetic, even ironic deaths, considering their Element! Except Fluttershy, who just fell down some fucking stairs, wtf. After we get all that unpleasantness out of the way, it switches to Twilight pointing out just how poetic/ironic all those deaths were, and then berating Celestia for "making" her immortal, and I was well and truly clocked out by that point. The writing's not bad, and the order in which they die is pretty unusual for one of these stories, but if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
Vaguely Recommended
Every Day Is Beautiful by FamousLastWords
Reading by Midnight29
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Friendshipping
Scootaloo and Spike count their blessings.
Well, this was pleasant! :) A unique background for orphan Scootaloo, leading her to talk about growing up without biological parents with Spike. It's a solid conversation with good characterization between the two… I think I basically have no notes, as they say!
Recommended
It Hurts by TheEverydaySparkle
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Emotional
For her to look upon us so, it hurts…
This is, at its heart, a very angsty piece about not being appreciated, but like… If there's any character who has a good reason to have a story like this written about her, it's definitely Luna. No matter what you feel she was or wasn't doing during her stay on the moon, I think this captures a nuanced sense of regret mixed with a certain stubborn pride that sums up her emotional state at the time quite well.
Recommended for Luna Fans
Happy Birthday by Gojira007
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Sad
Every few birthdays, Applejack hauls herself up the hill to meet an old face.
I'm gonna be pretty plain about what this one's about, cuz y'all know stories about characters meeting death with dignity just… really get to me. ;_; And this one's really good because of the pattern the story takes. I've never seen anyone do it like this, nor in this way. It hits a unique combination of sadness for what's lost, looking forward to what's to come, but also not reveling in death while there's still life to be lived, and that's what I really, really love about it. Shit, this is good. ;_;
Highly Recommended
Loving Doubts by twience
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: EQG Shipping
Sunset comes home to find her fiance crying. What's upset her so?
This is the kind of story that just really needs these characters to be together and have everything be happy for them, and that's fine. I mean, the author even made an effort to put a bit of actual conflict in, so it isn't just straight to the good stuff or anything like that. The writing isn't amazing, but given this is the author's first fic, it's also not awful. Cute, will deliver if you need that happy Sciset goodness, too.
Recommended for Sunlight Fans
Of Ponies and Rainstorms by Bandy
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Slice of Life
He sits and appreciates the rain.
Wow, this one's old enough that it's under a thousand words! I have to say though, something is wrong when the opening paragraph mentions how no one ever "utters a word of thanks" to pegasi for the work they do except him… when he just silently thanked them. <_< Projecting there, chief? That little logical disconnect kind of ruined this for me, but taken on its own merits? It's a decent slice of life that really hits that label square in its meaning. You get a little bit of everything as this unnamed pony sits and watches a rainstorm. So yeah, not bad really.
Recommended as Light Reading
Technical Support by JustAnotherHistoryBuff
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Human/Comedy
One day while using the internet, Princess Luna gets a popup saying her computer has been blocked.
When a story like this spends too much time getting into how the person on the phone talks, especially when pointing out they're from India or somesuch, I start getting real uncomfortable. Making no judgment on the author here, mind. I will say, at least they set up that this isn't just ponies having computers for some reason, that's a nice change. Also that the scammer has no process for dealing with ponies yet. But still, not a great idea.
Not Recommended
Exploiting Equestrian Generosity Through Unlimited Cupcakes by Gallus T. Griffon by Meteor_Mirage
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Comedy
It's a pretty simple plan, because ponies are dumb.
It's weird, I kind of had higher hopes for this going into it? Possibly because it reminds me of another, similar story, idk, it's early and I'm tired. But this plays out pretty well for the most part. Granted, there's a fucking Cupcakes joke because authors just cannot help themselves. There's also oblique Gallbar I wasn't expecting but don't really care about, save that it really derails a chunk of the narrative. But most of all, this just kind of ends without much of a punchline. I was waiting for Gallus to drop the other shoe, but it just never comes. He tried a thing, he wrote a little essay about it, he didn't succeed at his goal, so I guess nothing was really learned, the end. :/ This doesn't even go over the top with the Pinkie stuff, which also feels like a missed opportunity. Not an awful fic by far, but I definitely felt it was missing a few necessities.
Vaguely Recommended
Leave a Light On by AuroraDawn
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Sad Scratchtavia
Late one night, Applejack answers a knock at the door.
Sorry if I'm a broken record about this, but I am still dealing with the repercussions of my best friend almost drinking himself to death, and stories like this hit home hard now. <_< And this is a good one, as it turns out! It's so unusual to see Octavia and Vinyl interacting with the Mane Six, and especially Applejack. That it's entirely happenstance is interesting, but helps bring about that sense of Ponyville still being a small community. I found that aspect absolutely fascinating, no lie. What I did want more of was the identity of the pony in Applejack's story. Like, I figured it would be her parents, one or both, but they're never identified at all. And while I felt at first like I really needed that info, the point here is to give AJ a chance at redemption by not making the same mistake twice. So on reflection, it totally works. Hope I didn't spoil too much story there. c_c
Recommended
Tea With a Slice of Pity by bkc56
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Comedy
Starlight sits down for tea with Trixie.
I was actually surprised afterward to see the Comedy tag on this. I'd consider it more friendshipping than anything, but nevermind that. You all know how much I care about stories where Rainbow Dash is, like, a decent person and a good friend. I get really hung up on this because she's like, one of the heroes? One of the main characters? We're supposed to like her, she's supposed to be a good role model and all? <_< Trixie is none of those things. So when we get a story about her being a good friend, oh boy, that is just the best. I cannot even fully describe the feelings this engendered within me, save that watching this walking garbage pony snark her way into helping Starlight get over her shit was amazing, and I need more of it. And don't get me wrong: I don't need stories where Trixie is a decent person. Just a good friend, in her own special, stupid, amazing way.
Recommended
Harsh Words by Enter Madness
Reading by Agent0Fluffy
Genre: Sad
Diamond Tiara is summoned by her mother. Just what might she have done this time?
I have to wonder about the timing of this story vis-a-vis Crusaders of the Lost Mark. I mean… This definitely is not Spoiled Rich we're seeing in this story, and yet the episode was already out by the time it was posted. This intrigues me, because the one big criticism of Crusaders I recall, and shared, was that it flattened Diamond Tiara into a 'woe is me' character, all of whose worst features could be blamed on a poor upbringing by a lousy mother. And that's all this story is. So why is this so good? This piece paints a perfect picture of an abusive household and just what life as Diamond Tiara is like. Every word is chosen precisely, so that you fully understand, and even feel, just how awful a pony Diamond's unnamed mother is. And then we get to see what treatment like that does to a pony. It's so simple, yet so effective.
Highly Recommended
Ant Circle by ManicDots
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Surreal
Doctor Whooves investigates the sounds of marching outside his house.
Wow, what a thing this is! I mean, start with that title. That's just two words with no meaning together, am I wrong? Fascinating. The story itself then is entirely surreal, and seems to me to be the sort of thing you might write after having dreamed it, though there's no confirmation from the author either way. It's just unsettling in an indescribable way, and I honestly really liked it.
Recommended
Whoof, rough start to this one.
I'll throw in an additional thumbs up for Leave a Light On. I have a quiet soft spot for ScratchTavia and this one hit real good.
Thank you for the review!
AJ’s former friend being unnamed was on purpose, though I understand the frustration around it not being revealed. I knew that if I picked any canon character, seen or otherwise, someone would be upset or disagree that their character would become a drug addict. I elected to not name anyone, so everyone can imagine it being whoever they feel best fits the story.
Or it could be some pony we never saw in the show because they had, before Twilight moved to Ponyville, already passed away. It’s really up to the reader to decide!
Having the genre tag Immortality Angst is enough to ensure I will never read a story. It's not that there aren't some interesting and entertaining things to be explored surrounding the subject, it's just that they are almost all written by youngsters with no significant life-experience beyond media ingurgitation, and any story from a source like that is very unlikely to have anything to say that will interest me.
Honestly, if I'm gonna pick a story to spend my precious time on and have a choice between an author who has collected nearly all of the Emerald Pokemon,* or the person who, at some point in their lives, woke up in a seedy hotel in Istanbul with a broken arm, a suitcase full of python skulls and bearer bonds, and absolutely no idea how they got there, who do you think I'm gonna pick?
In a totally unrelated question, do you know if Gojira007 has ever been to Istanbul?
-------------------------
* I have not a single clue if this is a real thing or not, but it sort of sounds like something that might be a thousand-hour time sink, doesn't it?
5757305
after never finding a 'real' answer, I decided to assume it was someone we, the audience, wouldn't actually have known :)
5757314
...not Constantinople?
5757361
If he has been to Constantinople, I would be seriously impressed! But really, that's nobody's business but the Turks'.
Thanks for the mini-review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Oh my gosh, hi! Thank you for giving my old little story a read.