• Member Since 16th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 6th, 2013

Spinelli381


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Octavia, a renowned cellist within Canterlot, lives a rather comfortable life when it comes to the perception of her admirers and followers. The music she releases into the world is melodious, cerebral and even verges on the line of psychedelic. Although she is only a part of the ensemble, she is recognized as the very face of it. Some say that she is even on her way to becoming a living legend, despite her young age. But few realize that this life of fame comes at the cost of her precious vitality. Every now and then, she ends up sporting a few gray hairs within that smooth black mane of hers.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 1 )

Even as she was scrubbing away the morning influence on her person for the warm waters to wash away,

'for the warm waters to wash away' doesn't really fit anywhere in this sentence.

Today was when the ensemble got together in order to practice for a live performance a few weeks from where they were now.

This sentence becomes a bit tangled. 'Today the ensemble was practicing for an upcoming live performance.'

emphasized by an exhale of calming.

Calming what?

you have came through with that.

'Gone' instead of 'came'.

The cello case was "Make sure not to get into too much trouble while I'm gone, okay?"

The cello was...?

what was referred to be a hang drum

'As' instead of 'be'.

with your ears

Considering the perspective, your seems inappropriate here.

"She cares very deeply for our friendship as much as I do."

'She cares very deeply for our friendship, just like I do' or some variation.

Most of these are personal opinion, so ignore as you see fit.

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