The Manifestation of Chaos

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Equestria;
After being freed twice from the tyranny of chaos that was Discord a new threat appears from the shadows of humiliation and defeat, one even more powerful and destructive than the spirit of chaos.
One pony, with the help of many, must uncover the secrets of the past, find the origins of light and dark, bring the darkness to justice, and prevent Equestria from falling into a pit of destruction so deep, it may never be dug up...
"Chaos...
Chaos exceeds no limits.."

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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ShyHeart

ShyHeart #1 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

Hmm..this is pretty good!

Blaise Brony

Blaise Brony #2 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

A few notes!
First of all, I like it!

2. Use proper indentation, or none at all.
3. Don't do this.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

4. Check your spelling and punctuation. If you are using a computer, this should be very easy.
5. A little bit more detail. Don't rush things, take time to explain what's going on, as not to confuse the reader.

Overall, good job!

Blaise Brony

Blaise Brony #3 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

A few notes!
First of all, I like it!

2. Use proper indentation, or none at all.
3. Don't do this.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Overall, good job!

Rukashue

Rukashue #4 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2471872

Thanks!

Rukashue

Rukashue #5 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474434

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
As for alot of the issues with indentation and spelling and punctuation; I was transferring this from google docs and I found out that that sort of causes a few problems with the document.
Also, you wouldnt believe how hard it is to fix errors in italics without leaving some errors. Though I will be proofreading this again and I will try to fix anything unpleasant or wrong.

Oh, and as for you liking the story; I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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