The Manifestation of Chaos

by Rukashue

Prologue; Chapter Cero

She raised her hand up to the sky…There was a murmur, a crackle.
Everypony stopped dead in their tracks.
The floor was hers, and hers alone; “Now do you see the error of your ways, my little ponies?! Now do you see that I truly am the dark lord’s descendant?!”
The ponies all watched in horror as the first couple of drops hit the ground.
*splish…splosh..splish…*
The drops kept getting louder, as the silence of the ponies grew into a slow but steady wave of screams. The dark crimson liquid was soaking the ground by now, rivers of the stuff was pooling into the valleys, the screams grew louder still as the blood-red rain being pooled slowly started to harden, they started to animate themselves, covered in a purple haze. The hardened shapes quickly took the forms of ponies, their bodies taking colors in, their shapes twisting to form into different ponies, almost identical to that of the actual citizens of Ponyville, except for one thing…
These blood forged ponies all had the same mysterious cutie mark…
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The trapped pony could only watch in horror from her entombment as these ponies took shape; her own magic, amplified, but being used for things far worse than she had imagined...
As she gasped at the horror unfolding before her, she started shaking; losing her personality once cherished as a trademark for her and her reputation.
Her mind was cracking under the pressure.
She was losing it, and she knew it.
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“Long ago, before the rule of the Princesses Luna and Celestia, there was just one who had power over the land of Equestria. This being was a draconequus who went by the name of Discord. He caused unrest and unhappiness throughout all of Equestria for Earth ponies, unicorns and Pegasi alike. His reign over the lands was unstoppable, no pony dared to challenge him, it seemed as if Equestria would be in a state of eternal chaos forever. ..
But that, was long ago.

“We must hurry!”
The fabled sorcerer with his trademark star patterned robe, long beard and golden bells ran down the long, wide, and winding hallway. The smell of deep musk, rotted flesh and decay filled the nostrils of him and the five behind him.
“Faster! Do not let them reach the opening!”
The sorcerer yelled with much vigor and fear in his voice as they neared the end of the passage. The door was lit brilliantly with a golden light, unlike the rest of the passage that was lit faintly by a mysterious green glow.
The group of individuals ran out of the door, the sorcerer leading them.
“yes, YES! Wahaha!!”
His screams of joy were quickly silenced as he stopped dead in his tracks and looked ahead of them.
Above them.
Everywhere.
“H-How did they know, how did they get out here?!”
One of the followers of the group shouted at what seemed to be an endless horde of black, alicorn-shaped things. He extended his gryphon wings, and got into a stance, ready to pounce at anything that would come their way.
“Talon, do not fret.”
The sorcerer spoke with much hesitation in his voice, he was taking in his surroundings closely, his eyes tracking any movement on the horde surrounding them.
Another voice boomed above theirs, its tone mixed in with what seemed like 2 to 4 other voice
“Hahaha, do you really think I didn’t know my way around my own Hive,You foals?! And to think I was worried about you escaping, hah!”
The figure with the booming voice stepped out from the cloud of black alicorn-type creatures.
“Do you like them? My changelings are very obedient, and they haven’t eaten for some time now. I do believe it is dinner time…”
The horde began fluster, each of the changelings were getting excited, the noise of their wings started to increase in noise, the first changeling flew with godspeed towards the sorcerer.
“STAR!”
Talon screamed at the dark creature, then jumped towards the changeling, bearings what he was known for, his talons.
The changeling was too quick, he wouldn’t make it, Talon tried to go faster, the changeling now bearing its teeth at Starswhirl when- all of a sudden, it just… disappeared in a haze of black smoke.
“Repose en paix, le retour à la mère gaia...”
The voice came from a zebra who was now standing next to Starswhirl, the colors of its coat seeming to be more of a black-grey pattern then black-white. A hood covering her face revealed eyes as bright and orange as that of the most radiant harvest moon.
“Thank you Shade, but I could have handled that on my own.”
Starswhirl seemed to be more relieved than resentful of his pride being taken.
Shade looked at Starswhirl, her expression changing from serious and cold-blooded to charming, and playful. A smile appeared on her face as she chuckled and put her mouth close to Starswhirls’ ear.
“Likely story”
Star jumped back a little, as a chill ran through his entire body, he cleared his throat and, looking a little embarrassed, addressed the group.
“You guys ready for this?”
Five voices came back to his, all saying the same thing in a determining tone.
Star reached under his robe to pull out a small satchel, he tossed it up and caught it, letting the jingle ring out. He then took the bag and set it on the ground.
Talon readied his stance, a wide smile appearing on his face, his started stomping on the ground, an aura seemed to surround him, as he started growing in size, bulking up more and more, his feathers turning the same color as his red aura, the shapes around his eyes starting to swirl
Shade stood up on twos, and tied a cloth around her head, blindfolding herself, then crossed her arms and concentrated, as her grey stripes blended in with her black ones, she chuckled a bit and smugly jumped, disintegrating into the air as she did so
Another figure came out from the group, Its long whispy green and black mane flowing in the wind, It held a single short, dull-looking knife in its mouth and had a sullen look in its eye, by the shape of its head and body it looked like a very lanky male earth pony. His cutie mark was that of a purple creature with 6 heads. This pony simply stabbed his knife into the ground and sat down, concentrating on the earth beneath him.
Two more, final figures appeared, their flowing manes attracting the attention of much of the horde.
The taller of the two was a white pony, Its wings outstretched, its horn glowing an intense yellow light, the flowing pink mane looking out of place with the aggression the rest of the body took in. Her cutie mark was that of a sun, its jagged edges looking as if it were moving, but staying still at the same time.
Immediately behind her was a smaller pony, Its whole body covered in a shade of midnight blue, its cutie mark was a crescent moon, surrounded by a patch of a dark purple, her eyes were shivering, she seemed scared, yet- more fierce than the taller pony at the same time. Her face was in a concentrated stare, aimed right at the queen of the horde.
The Queen stared back at her.
Starswhirled shifted the Queen’s attention back to him.
“This will be the last time any of the changelings will be seen, Monarch, I hope you know this. You can just carry on with your business and let us be with what we came for, and none of this bloodshed will have to occur”
The Queen glanced over at her hive, she gave a sad and remorseful look towards it, and shifted her sight towards Starswhirled.
“I don’t plan on just giving up the prize of my people. You have desecrated my land, killed my people, and stolen what represents us as a whole. I will regret nothing when your lifeless body is providing my children with their much needed food, along with your other friends too, of course.”
Star parted his hat, his horn started to glow an extremely bright blue.
“Then you will fall with your legacy; with your empire.”
The Queen Monarch raised her arms, her children started to hum all at once the same tone.
“FEED!”

Author's Note:

This is my first story and my first time posting so feedback would be great!

Comments

[ShyHeart]

Hmm..this is pretty good!

[Blaise Brony]

A few notes!
First of all, I like it!

2. Use proper indentation, or none at all.
3. Don't do this.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

4. Check your spelling and punctuation. If you are using a computer, this should be very easy.
5. A little bit more detail. Don't rush things, take time to explain what's going on, as not to confuse the reader.

Overall, good job!

[Blaise Brony]

A few notes!
First of all, I like it!

2. Use proper indentation, or none at all.
3. Don't do this.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

4. Check your spelling and punctuation. If you are using a computer, this should be very easy.
5. A little bit more detail. Don't rush things, take time to explain what's going on, as not to confuse the reader.

Overall, good job!

[Rukashue]

2471872

Thanks!

[Rukashue]

2474434

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
As for alot of the issues with indentation and spelling and punctuation; I was transferring this from google docs and I found out that that sort of causes a few problems with the document.
Also, you wouldnt believe how hard it is to fix errors in italics without leaving some errors. Though I will be proofreading this again and I will try to fix anything unpleasant or wrong.

Oh, and as for you liking the story; I'm glad you enjoyed it!