Opening Shop
The Pony Portrait Brigade
Chapter 1
Opening Shop
Our story begins during one of the most wonderful times of the year; a time of rebirth, renewal, and new beginnings. Our story begins in the Spring. Winter had just been wrapped up last week in ponyville and buds had already begin to flourish into flowers. Birds had returned from Saddle Arabia and again wove their beautiful melodies in to the clear morning air to be carried off by the breeze and picked up by the ears of sleeping ponies. This particular day was warm, the golden rays of the sun bounced through the streets and through the flowing meadows.
A small Pegasus mare with a coat the color of finely crushed charcoal awoke from a dream that would change her life in the middle of one such meadow. She jerked up from her slumber, causing a sketch pad to be launched off her chest. She brushed her short-cut, steel purple mane from in front of her deep purple eyes, grabbed her goggles and sketch pad and rushed towards home.
She had drifted to sleep sketching the meadow the night before. With only a charcoal pencil she had expertly capture each individual blade of grass, a grey field mouse fleeing from a preying hawk, a sprout half way between a bud and a flower, and the intricacies of the shadows and their many hues cast by the setting sun. However, she wasn’t running in worry of being scolded for not making it home by curfew, after all she had fallen asleep outside many times before and it had become almost customary for her to do so. She was in fact hurrying to find her two sisters and tell them about her wondrous dream; a dream which she intended to make into a reality.
Her hooves slam down on the hard rock paved streets knocking up the smaller pebbles into the air as her momentum carried her along. After a few minutes she decided running wasn’t quick enough. Her feather wings snap open and she crouches for a second before launching herself into the air. Her speed increases with each flap, accelerating her towards Sugar Cube corner where her sisters probably were this early in the morning waiting for the shop to open.
As she approached Sugar Cube corner she saw that her hunch had been right. Her wings fold towards her body and she dropped suddenly, only to use the momentum to carry her forwards as she began running towards her two sisters.
“Rainbow! Ink!”
She called to her two sisters Rainbow Sonata and Ink Blotch. A unicorn mare with heterochromia iridium, her left eye being green and her right eye blue, Rainbow Sonata uses her magic to make beautiful, vibrant works of art. She mostly uses her chatoyant ability and magic to color in or change the color of pictures done in charcoal or ink by her other two sisters. She appeared, at least in scheme, to be the opposite of the first sister. Her mane is a charcoal black and cut slightly shorter than average, her coat respectively is a deep purple. Her cutie mark is a paint brush with a rainbow at the end representing her iridescent personality.
Ink Blotch is a fun, loving, Pegasus mare with a fern green coat and sparkling, lime-green eyes. Unlike her two sisters, Ink has a long, flowing, jet-black mane. She was sporadic, zombie loving, and could easily be diagnosed with ADHD. She pridefully claims to never have the same thought twice, which, looking at her individualistic art, is easy to believe. She didn’t seem to have a particular style, she was more or less a thousand artists in one. Her cutie mark is an inkwell pen with an ink blotch at the end, thus portraying her individuality.
“What is it Photo?” Rainbow looked at her sister curiously, wondering what all the fuss could possibly be about. It wasn’t often that photo was so… loud.
“I had a dream! Oh, it was such a wonderful dream!” Photo Sketch couldn’t contain her excitement at the revelation of her night time fantasy to her sisters. She jumps up and flutters her wings as if to throw of excess energy to the wind so she could calm down enough to spit out what she was trying to say, but of course she couldn’t just say it.
“C’mon, what is it? Now I really want to know.” Ink Blotch prodded Photo with her hoof as if to encourage the information she wanted to be pushed out of her.
By now the other two sisters were buzzing with excitement. Something about Photo’s dream was special. What could it be? They were disappointed however, when Photo decided she literally could not just tell them. Their faces fell at the news, but lifted again when Photo pulled out her sketch pad, she was going to draw the dream.
Despite the her hurried attitude, Photo placed each stroke of her pencil expertly on the slightly yellow parchment. The lines seemed to appear as if by magic, following her pencil and turning the blank canvas of the parchment into solid reconstructions of Photos dream. As lines and curves came together they began to tell a story. A story of the three sisters sitting together bored of each passing day, squandering their exuberant talents with no goal in mind. Then the next page comes and a light bulb appears over each of the three sisters heads, their hooves raised into the air as if to say “ah ha! I’ve got it!”. The page again turns, this time showing each of the ponies doing various jobs around Ponyville. The fourth page reveals each of the sisters putting money together that they had earned though doing their jobs.
The final page… The final page held upon it’s flimsy paper a heavy and might image, that at first seemed not to be connected to the rest of the story. For all that lay on that page, was a building; a store to be more specific. The building was small, from the front there appeared only to be two rooms and possible an attic. The windows had fairly plain borders, in fairly good condition. In front of the building there was a small water fountain with a centerpiece of a pen, a sketch pad, and a rainbow. But it was the shop’s title which lend light to the two sisters as to what the building meant to them, for atop the building in elegant letters read “The Pony Portrait Brigade”.
“Our own shop.” The words are uttered in unision and wonder by Ink Blotch and Rainbow Sonata as the dream envisioned by Photo Sketch becomes shared by all three sisters. It really was a fantastic idea In which the three sisters could work together to make themselves and others happy., but first…
“We’re gonna have to find the building, find how much it costs, and work to buy it. I know I’ve seen it before, but I don’t know where.” Photo Sketch had a photographic memory, but it was so cluttered that she sometimes couldn’t make sense of all the images passing through her head.
“Then we’ll split up and meet back here in fifty-three minutes.” Ink blotch would always choose strange, usually odd, times to meet with people. Most just see it as a testament to her originality.
The three sisters nod in affirmation and dash off on adversative directions, each determined to be the one to find the building of their dreams. Ink Blotch thought it would be quickest to fly up in the air and scout from above. She did move forwards a lot faster in the air where she didn’t have to worry about running into other ponies, but after a few minutes of flying she realized she couldn’t see much of the front of the buildings from above and she didn’t know what the roof of the building looked like. She folded her wings and landed effortlessly, running all the way back to the beginning to make sure she didn’t miss anything while she was in the air.
Rainbow Sonata decided slowly trot through the middle of the street and use her peripheral vision to take in the front of the buildings on both sides at the same time so she wouldn’t miss anything by turning her head. Apparently she looked lost because several waking ponies began to ask her if she knew where she was. She soon became agitated at the concern given by the other denizens of Ponyville as it slowed down her search even further. Eventually she decided to use her magic to paint “No I’m not lost!” in bright red letters on her forehead. After that she was able to continue with much less hindrance, but when a colt had the audacity to ask her why she had letters on her forehead, she began to chase him around Ponyville trying to paint him the ugliest colors she could think of with her magic.
Photo Sketch had a smile on her face as she hummed to herself quietly. Unlike her other two sisters she didn’t try o find it with any kind of tactic, she instead let her hooves carry her though the streets. She felt a tug on her heart, as if by magic, guiding her to where the shop lay. There was a soft click-clicking only she could hear as her mind took pictures of each building she passed and tried to match it up to the image in her head of the perfect shop. Time seemed to be passing slowly for her, as ponies seemed to move around her at above average speeds, she steadily trotted along, determined to reach her goal, and then she saw it. It looked exactly as it had in her dream, save for three differences. There was no fountain, nor was the Pony Portrait Brigade set in elegant letters atop the roof and there was a sign pitched into ground. Photo moved closer to inspect the sign, and much to her delight the sign said “For Sale” on it. She jumped with glee, took a picture in her mind of the number on the sign, and rushed back to Sugar Cube corner where she waited the return of her two sisters.
Both Rainbow Sonata and Ink Blotch arrived around the same time with the same downcast look. They were both late due to their misfortunes and saddened at not having found the building. When they saw how happy Photo looked however, they both perked up and inquired as to her success. When she confirmed their suspicions they shouted with joy, causing many of the other ponies around them to become startled and eye them suspiciously. The three of them cringe slightly in embarrassment, an innocent smile on their faces, until the last pony turned away and continued about his business.
The three sisters flew home as fast as their wings could carry them. Rainbow is of course held between Ink and Photo seeing as she’s a unicorn and can’t fly. They make a beeline straight for the phone and call the number that Photo had memorized. Much to their dismay however, the number was disconnected.
“Maybe you got the number wrong?” Rainbow asked hopefully.
“How could I? I have a photographic memory…” Photo felt sadness clutch at her heart. How were they supposed to contact the owner now?
“We could ask the shops next to it if they know anything.” Ink piped up. She wasn’t ready to throw in the towel, and she certainly didn’t want to see her sisters sad.
“Great idea!”
“What are we waiting for?!”
Photo Sketch leads her two sisters back to the street the building is on. They split up and begin asking the other shop owners if they knew who the owner of the building was. As it turns out, the owner didn’t work at the building, he rented out to many different ponies for many different things. The three sisters were beginning to feel the disappointment sink in, but at the very last place they asked, a small floral stand, the a mare was able to give them the name of the owner “Jet Law”. Unfortunately she hadn’t seen him around Ponyville for quite awhile and when they questioned the other shop keepers around town as to his whereabouts, they got the same answer.
“Now what?” Rainbow Sonata directed her question towards Ink Blotch since she had gotten them out of their last quandary.
“I got nothing.” Ink Blotch admitted sadly.
But Photo hadn’t given up. There was somepony at the edge of her mind, somepony who knew everypony. But who? She lies on her back and wraps her hooves around her eyes. This is her “Thinking position”, which she uses to block out light so the canvas of her eyes is completely black. She passes an image of everypony in town through her eyelids until she sees the one she’s looking for. Suddenly, she jumps up and exclaims.
“The mayor! She keeps track of everypony!”
They immediately gallop towards the town hall in search of the mayor. They bursts through the large oak doors into Mayor Mare’s office and all begin to speak at once. The mayor is caught off guard by their sudden entry and momentarily stunned by the confusion of their overlapping speech. Finnaly she throws her hooves in the air and screams for their silence.
“Stop! Now I can see whatever it is you’re about to tell me is very important, but if only one of you could speak at a time, that would be much appreciated.” Mayor Mare speaks with a gentle but stern voice as is customary for ponies in a position of authority.
Photo Sketch begins to speak first.
“We would like to know if you could tell us where Mr. Jet Law lives so we could buy a building from him.”
“I’m afraid Jet Law has moved to Canterlot, he now resides in 221B Trotter’s street.”
“Uhg!” Ink Blotch sighed in frustration. Rainbow shot her a look telling her to hush.
“Thank you Mayor.” Photo turns and heads towards the train station.
Half an hour later the three sisters were on a train to Canterlot. Ink Blotch thought it would be a good idea to start planning ways to raise money, but none of them had the slightest idea of what to do besides go around town looking for odd jobs. So they started talking about what they were going to do when they had the store. They spoke of fancy critics coming to compliment their work, and famous super stars asking to have their portraits done by them. They spoke of becoming rich and being able buy any art supplies they wanted, even the fancy ones the royal artists used.
Several hours later the loud train whistle blasted its frequency into the air around it as the wheels slowly screeched to a halt. They had arrived in Canterlot. As the three sisters exited the train they were perplexed by all the new sights and sounds around them. Several ponies had to push past them to get over the train. The streets were solid pavement; the buildings were so close most of them touched, with only the occasional alley presumably for the dumpsters which were hidden from view. Every pony walked with their chins slightly elevated, about three inches above parallel, and they were somehow able to walk around with their eyes closed. Though why they would do such a thing in such a beautiful city was a mystery to the three sisters. The buildings were dominantly white, accented and trimmed with gold, purple, or a combination of the two.
Once the shock of the sudden influx of new information had died down Photo pulled her two sisters into a hug and beamed brightly.
“Onwards, Pony Portrait Brigade! Onwards, to 221B Trotters street! Onwards! To our destiny!”
They all giggled and ran into the streets, initially with no sense of direction. They all knew that some way, somehow, they would reach their destination. After a few hours of wandering around they noticed the sun was well into its descent below the horizon, so Photo walked up to a kind looking stallion with a grey coat and a fancy-cut blonde mane to ask for directions.
“Excuse me sir, could you point us to 221B Trotter’s street please? We’re here looking for someone to buy a building from and we don’t know our way around this big city.”
“I’ll do you one better.” He replied with a voice that flowed like honey. “I’ll show you.”
“Oh thank you sir!”
The stallion smiled warmly and began to lead them through Canterlot. The three sisters chattered happily behind him, not really paying attention to their surroundings. When Rainbow looks up from her other two sisters she notices they’ve arrived in an alley.
“This can’t be it?”
The stallion pulls a knife from his coat and backs the three sisters against the wall.
“If you’re purchasing a building you must have a decent amount of bits on you. Hand em over.” The kindness in his voice had completely disappeared.
“B-but we don’t have the money yet.. we were going t-to ask how much it costs…” Photo was barely able to stutter out the words, fear welling up inside her like a storm over the ocean.
“Well I can’t have you going around knowing my face can I?” He begins stepping towards Photo Sketch.
“We won’t tell! I swear!” She begins to plead, tears streaming down her face as she tries to fit herself in as small a space as possible.
“Hooves off!” Ink Blotch yells as she picks up a trash can lid and slams it over their attackers skull. A loud clang reverberates throughout the small alley. He stumbles back, dazed as lights explode in front of his eyes. Ink Blotch runs towards him and slams her hoof against the side of his face, he drops, out cold. “Not so tough are ya, pretty boy?”
Just then a guard trots down the alley to see what the commotion was about. He looks from the stallion on the ground to Ink Blotch standing over him, not exactly sure who to arrest.
“This stallion attacked us.” Rainbow said quickly, seeing the confusion in the guards eyes.
The guard bends down and inspects the fallen stallion.
“Ah yes, we’ve been after this mugger for awhile. My name is Officer Law. If you come with me to the Department of Defense, you can collect your reward.”
Photo’s eyes widen and her ears perk up.
“Officer Law? Officer Jet Law by chance?!” Ink and Rainbow look up with equal excitement as they too make the connection.
“Yeah. How did you?”
“We would like to buy your building for sale in Ponyville!” All three of them blurt out at once.
“But we don’t know how much it costs.” Photo adds.
“Oh! The building is four-hundred bits.” Officer Law smiles at them.
“Thank you sir, we’ll have the bits within the week.” Photo nods affirmatively as if to seal her words in truth.
“Heheh, I know you will. In fact, you’ll have the bits today.” The guard chuckles at some joke seemingly only visible to him.
“I’m afraid… w-we won’t be able to get the bits that quickly…” Rainbow speaks sadly to the ground. She was worried there was a deadline for the purchase of the building, and there was no way they could make four hundred bits before the day was over.
“Just come with me.”
Officer Law picks up the criminal and leads the group of sisters through town to the Department of defense. Once inside they walk up to the reception counter where Officer Law speaks to a stallion behind a cedar desk. The stallion nods and goes into a back room. Officer Law smiles and nods for them to wait. A few moments later the receptionist comes out with four bags that jingle as they move. Ink Blotch momentarily wonders if the bags are full of bells.
“Here’s your reward for the capture of the criminal. Four hundred bits.” The receptionist drops the bags on the table.
“F-four hundred bits?!” The three sisters scream in excitement.
Photo looks up to Officer Law holding up the deed to the building.
“It’s all yours.”
After an exciting day, the trio of sisters get on the train back home, deed in hand. They had done it. The first step towards achieving their dream, to buy the building, was complete. Tomorrow began a new chapter in their lives. A chapter of beauty and art, of riches and friendships, tomorrow was the first day of the rest of their lives. They were, now and forever, The Pony Portrait Brigade.
End of Chapter 1
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Fernin · 55k words · 1,653 26 · 25k views
- BronyWriter · 110k words · 3,410 86 · 31k views
- Tystarr · 205k words · 2,765 69 · 42k views
- moguera · 148k words · 1,172 24 · 13k views
- Grey Faerie · 21k words · 352 4 · 4k views
- Rust · 130k words · 4,088 125 · 41k views
- Paleo Prints · 37k words · 531 9 · 23k views
- Handyman · 906k words · 2,462 76 · 48k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.107 seconds
Total duration
620 users online
1,311,373 hits today, 1,943,222 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
"Art" is not supposed to be captalized and you could change this sentence to: "...a dream to own an art store..." because the sentence sounds awkward with the repetition of the same word so close.
Should be "And"
Sleuthing seems a little out of place here, try using "Search" or "Time" for a better flow.
Should be "Aren't"
Beware with typos in your description, they make your story looks like you didn't took the time to care for it, thus, making your readers ask themselves why they should care. Good luck.
2390256 Thank you for pointing those out. I hadn't really thought about the summarizations beforhand so I honestly just typed it as quick as I could.
2390571
I clicked on your story because the premise caught my eye. But I doooon't want to read it until you add things like spaces (at the very least) and some indents. Walls of text are universally frowned upon on the site, and not just because it looks lazy! It's hard to read too.
Good luck, have a thumbs up wishing you the best.
2392088 Thank you for pointing that out. I had forgotten that the format resets when I copy from Microsoft Word to the site pallet. I'll fix it right now.
2392088There ya go, all finished. I hope you enjoy it.
2392726
There is a button to add the indents automatically, also and alternatively, you could just hit tab.
In addition there are still no spaces.
2392744What do you mean by spaces?
2392974
Between the paragraphs, other wise as I first said, it is what we call "A wall of text". People that see this quite often will immediately do a one eighty and not read your story. It makes it very difficult to read in that form.
2392996 Oh. I'd never heard of that before. Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me.
2393013
Quite alright no need for thanks, I just sort of noticed it when I started writing so I only got yelled at for everything else.
2393020Sorry it took so long. Im doing all this from a PS Vita.
2393097
Well, it still needs fixing in places, but that's a start. lol
2393100 Cue instadeath in 5...4...3...2...
This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society
Story Title: The Pony Portrait Brigade
Author: LunarDusk
Reviewed by: Shahrazad
The Pony Portrait Brigade could be a fun short story. It tries to be lighthearted and fun with deep characterization. It’s about three artistically talented sisters trying to open their own art studio. It’s a noble premise. It’s just too bad the author makes too many “new writer” mistakes. There is a good story here somewhere, but bring a shovel.
Full Review
Score: 5.0/10