The Last Alicorn

by Skyler

Eclipses' Cave

Eclipses, do you remember me?"

A white alicorn lifted her head. Two large, ponies stood before her. They were more shadows than ponies though, with manes of blue fire. They had large, sharp horns. They had leathery dragon wings that could not open in the cave. Their eyes were dim lights. The only thing that made them real ponies were their cutie marks. The stallion's was a pony skeleton, with a snake weaving through the bones. The mare's was a moon wand with a star behind it. "Dusty, you left me there." Eclipses said. Dusty sighed. "It hurt me so much. But I knew I'd see you again." Eclipses stood up so fast she knocked Dusty over. "You knew you'd see me again? So then why'd you turn into a Shadowlurker and marry somepony else?" The mare Shadowlurker growled. "Trixette or otherwise known by your mother name, Trixie aren't you?" Eclipses snarled. "Your pathetic mother thought she was hot stuff. Strutting 'round Equestria like she was a princess." The mare looked hurt. "She went around stealing other ponies things. Not just money and possesions, but their pride, fame, and self-worth. She tried stealing somepony's stallion. She met a sticky end, indeed. Her own sister, Twilight Shimmer, had to end her sick ways." Trixie stepped back. "I thought Shadowlurkers don't feel pity. Why do you hate hearing of your mother? Do you feel SAD about her death?"

"STOP! Just STOP!" Trixie sobbed.

"Oh, but I thought Shadowlurkers LIKE hearing about DEATH, DOOM, and DESTRUCTION!"

"STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!"

"Then you ARE NOT a Sha-"

"ECLIPSES THAT IS ENOUGH!" Dusty yelled. Eclipses was breathing hard, and her voice was shakey when she said, "Dusty, get out of my cave." Dusty laughed. "I have come to deliver a message."

"Say it and leave." Eclipses said, her horn glinting by the light of the Shadowlurker's manes. "Celestia is dead." Trixie laughed. "What now?" Eclipses pinned her to the wall, horn against her throat. "Who killed her?"

"Who says she was murdured?"

Eclipses pushed her horn in. "Alicorns live forever unless murdured." Trixie gasped. "Let her go, Eclipses. I killed her." Dusty said calmly. In a few seconds he was in the same position as Trixie. "Why, Dusty? Why'd you do it?" The alicorn asked. Dusty dissapated and reformed a few feet away. "For us. She separated us."

"She sent me to see you." Eclipses purple mane was damp with sweat. "And how DARE you speak about US!" Trixie rubbed against Dusty to enrage the other mare more. She yelped when the alicorn pretended to lunge at her. "You have three seconds to live." Eclipses threatened, but the two other souls disappeared as soon as the first word was off her lips.

Comments

[SilverSpoon]

good story- too short, many errors. expand, explain, spellcheck and pretty much that. you've got a good premise. so work on it!

[Zervziel]

I usually don't have room to say this, but there are tons of errors in this. My suggestion would be to get a prereader. Also the characters already have established names. it's kinda confusing, not too mention annoying when people suddenly switch them around. It's Twilight Sparkle, not Shimmer. Same with Pinkamina Diane Pie, not Ottamatapea. Which should probably be Onomatopoeia if that was what you were going for.

[Cat Eye]

When are u updateing