Fluttershy's life is horrible, constantly getting forced into relationships that she doesn't want to be in, her life is just miserable and the colt he she is with now is the worst yet. Her life is horrible until she re-unites with an old friend.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Review?
This chapter ruined it all. Goodbye
Nice job!
The spelling is pretty bad. This is stuff that should be picked up by spellcheck too.
It's a pretty good story in concept and partially in delivery. Still you need to fix your spelling and grammar mistakes.
Overall it was not bad. I'd read a future story of yours.
I'm not sure how I should feel about this story, the last chapter confused me
Thanks for all the favorites and likes! Oh, and i do understand that there is spelling errors and stuff but honestly, it would be nice to get some comments that are not about that, because i understand they're there but i write stories more for the actual story, not that stuff, and im sorry if like, grammar and spelling means a lot to you but im too lazy about to do that and i suck at it haha, so, just putting that out there, and my friend who helped write this has a...dark mind! Haha! But i mean...come on, Jack deserved that for what he did to Fluttershy...anywho thanks for reading!!
2376218 what about the last chapter confused you?
2371959 why did chapter 4 ruin it? Just wondering because for future reference in my stories
I'm loving this story there are a few things that need fixing but besides that its really good plus I really liked the poem: heart:
Damn you, you broke my heart! You know how much it costs to get that fixed?!
Fluttershy?! How could you let him do this to you?!
this seemed.. A little too rushed for me. I can tell you put alot of effort into making this story and i respect that, but i thought if you filled me in on detail a little more, this story would have been perfect Dispite this, it was a nice read, here, have a moustache
I learned how use my account:) i just wanted to say thanks again for posting this ryan! i see tho that it has created some conflict...
Ah wanna say something nice about this story.
...
It's short.
It's riddled with errors, from constantly droppin' quotation marks ta ponies usin' their hooves like hands. The last chapter is kinda hard ta believe, medically - ah don't think ya can flatline ten times in a night, the heart wouldn't start again that many times - an' the last two chapters both happen too quick ta have the emotional impact they should.
Well finally finished reading it in between distractions and such. This story was ok, it had potential for quite a lot, but at times everything felt like it just didn't quite fit. Grammar Errors and Horrors have really tormented me since i started reading this fic and quite honestly I don't really like grammatical errors on a story and the such, unless of course that is the intention. There is a cliche like feeling to this story but its not a bad one which is something I liked, I have read other fics that seem like a copy/paste of cliches and that's just bad story telling, good to see the feeling wasn't as strong on this one. Short chapters felt a little odd, like there could be more told within them but that's just a choice of style. Overall it was an ok fic that could have been better, maybe next time it'll be better.
Nice Chapter >:D
Well...fuck that bitch, fluttershy do me a favor and hand me a knife, ive got a...surprise for your coltfriend
GO DASH!
Note to self: do NOT piss off dash
I am a little depressed after reading this
First I felt that Dash was being a bit overkill but then I thought,
What would his parents think?
And that feeling passed
Noooooooooooooooooo!
i kind of feel really bad when i start reading a story that have potential but in the end it just didnt work. Sometimes i wonder if is because the writter is either lazy or didnt wanted to put some more care in his work.
Really a shame cuz this could be a really good story.
3359366 sorry you didn't like it, me and my friend worked hard on it, is there a reason why you didn't like it?
Remember Iron Will! REMEMBER IRON WILL!!!!
Wow... A few spelling mistakes ,but they didn't take away from the story..
What makes this so sad is that this happens to a lot of people in real life, and often they don't have a Rainbow to save them.
Only thing is, 'gentle' keeps getting misspelled over and over. You or a proofreader should go over your story and fix the mistakes.
I like the story so far.
That would be one strange unicorn...
I love it.
Oh, no.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???!!!!
Great. I seem to have flooded the house.
3496670 thanks for all the feedback! I really appreciate when people leave comments! you earned yourself a follower!
3496638 and i apoligize about spelling mistakes, i'm not a very good speller and in my opinion, spelling and grammar mistakes never matter to me, but to some people it does but thank you for the feedback!
I know I am very late, but this "unicorn" would be the best oc ever created