You almost miss her the first time you see her, but circumstances draw you into the life of the quiet, shy girl who only ever wears over-sized sweaters, and it's only a matter of time before you wonder how you ever got by before.
Fully humanized world, with adaptations of the canon. Names altered for coherency's sake.
Rarity, black? If you say so...
1 like and 4 dislikes? What am I missing here? I kinda like it.
2346383
I didn't want to overwhelmingly specific about it, but I was thinking one of the former British colonies that make up either parts of South America or Africa, to explain the accent. Besides that, my experiences with some of the upper class from those areas mimics the reserved and refined attitude my interpretation has.
On the other hand, I wrote a story, and in so far as I'm allowed to make it up, I will. Skin colour really doesn't matter that much
2346614
Some people like things, and some people hate them. It's in the nature of people.
I'm glad you enjoyed, and hope you will continue to do so.
That said, I'd prefer a bit more clarity as to the exact source of their distaste. If it's simply my choice of content (Humanizing, or the skin colour, which seems to have been of note to another comment) then there's little I can do, but if it's due to some flaw in the writing, then I'd be much happier if I were able to repair that failure.
Its ok, but...Fluttershy with Brown hair?
And when I first glanced at your story i had to a do a double take on the title, since one of mine is titled the same thing. And for the title, mabye something a little more representitive of your fic? Shy doesnt really speak or hint at a story of romance
2349967
People do not, by nature, have hair colours such as pink. My take has been to go as much with reality as possible (For whatever reason). I am open to suggestions as to what would suit better, though.
I do agree about the title, though, I am astonishingly bad at naming things.
You can dye her hair pink though like Kaeyi Dream
2352783
This is a good point, and a fact I have taken into account for another character, but my Shy is loathe to draw attention to herself, so I don't imagine she'd do anything like that.
I don't understand the hate. Perhaps its because the world is completely anthropomorphizes. Perhaps its because you've changed the names around. I don't understand it. It's not a stellar story, but it's not awful, toxic, or painful. I'm only two chapters in, so I'll need to read the rest first before I pass judgement.
2356054
Lukewarm praise, but fair points nonetheless.
That said, I'm always open to suggestions on how to improve, which is what none of the detractors so far have managed to provide.
Just wanted to say I love the story :)
2546437
Thank you, I appreciate that very much.
Wow... No one seems to be paying this one any mind.
Which is a real pity--This is, I think, one of the better second-persons I've ever read, and certainly one of the few that's dealing with romance in something that could possibly be construed as a realistic manner.
I hope you haven't given up on this because of the lack of attention! I truly would like to see this story continued, and finished, if possible.
On a related note, I have a project in the works also involving a humanized world. Would you feel slighted if I borrowed Cheyenne's name? With due credit, of course.
2931292
One appreciates your comments. I should think that my insistence on full humanization and changing the names is probably the reason for much of the distaste. It's a source of some contention, I've noticed.
It is not lack of interest which has stifled my work, but my school requirements. I am, to put it mildly, swamped.
The next chapter is planned, and should be written when time permits.
As for names, I've claimed nothing, please feel free to use it.
Are you alive
Please be alive
Pretty please?
5426610
I am, in fact, alive, and moreover, I am aware of my laxity with regards to this story.
I do still fully intend to finish it, and I know more or less exactly how I want it to go. I just need time to sit down and do it.
I'll do what I can.
I hope this story gets finished at some point i love it!