• Published 3rd Apr 2013
  • 37,266 Views, 6,994 Comments

Five Score, Divided by Four - TwistedSpectrum

As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right?

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10. Answers

Chapter 10: Answers

"Why does he only have two lines? I mean seriously, I can say more than 'Eeyup' and 'Nope'."

I laugh, Evan and I were watching some classic pony episodes, and Evan way still trying to figure out the characters. "Don't worry Evan, your character has some lines later on, in fact, I recommend we watch the Hearts and Hooves Day episode next."

Evan turns to face me "An episode called Hearts and Hooves Day? And my character is involved? Watching that sounds like a terrible idea. This is creepy enough without watching my avatar start talking about falling in love."

I stick out my tongue "What's the matter, scared you might get ideas?"

Evan rolls his eyes "Oh please, like I would ever fall in love with a pony. My mind is still a human male where it counts, thank you very much."

Wanting to tease Evan, I lean at him "Really? What if I told you that in that episode Big Mac falls in love with a certain blue pegasus with a rainbow mane? Hmmm?"

Evan blushes "Oh... Dash and Mac get together in the show? Wow. Wouldn't that be awkward with his sister being friends with Dash? I would think that Mac, out of respect for Applejack, would give Dash her space and not make any moves on her. But you know, if Dash really wanted to be with Mac, well then, he wouldn't mind."

I was smiling at Evan's awkwardness until the very last sentence. What did he just say? "Uh, Evan, we're talking about the show right?"

Evan bites his lip and looks over at me "Uh, yea, sure. That."

I stare at Evan "Yeah, well, I was joking. The episode is about Big Mac and Cheerilee."

Much to my bewilderment, Evan actually frowns upon hearing this "Aww, really? Damn, I never really liked her, I don't wanna watch that episode."

I stare at Evan. The hell has gotten into him? Was he actually saying that he would show me affection if it wasn't for his sister and I being best friends? I turn away from Evan in worry. Evan was supposed to hate ponies and everything about them, he should not contemplating the idea that Dash/Mac was a good ship. The hell was going on here, was the transformation still active and working to change our minds? Could it make us feel things we didn't want to feel?

Our conversation dies down as episode ends and I yawn. It was getting late and we were really lacking sleep. Evan shuts off the TV and I lie down on the floor, curling up in a nice position to get comfortable. Soon Evan comes over and lies down at my side, I fall into a light nap enjoying the feeling of him beside me.


I awake several hours later, it was still night outside but I see that Evan is also awake as he was sitting next to me and playfully batting at my tail with his hooves.

I raise an eyebrow at him “Yes, it’s real, you can stop feeling my tail.”

Evan smiles “You know, I like your tail.”

I raise the other eyebrow and flick my tail up against my body away from him “Uh, yea. Thanks for the compliment, but really now Evan... I’m not your girlfriend."

Evan protests my accusation "What, no I was just--"

I raise a hoof and cut him off "Evan, come on, I'm not stupid. A guy and girl alone at night, the girl just recently told him she was in heat, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there is some unspoken tension in the air. So let's just cut the crap, shall we? Now I'm flattered Evan, really, but remember that I'm still Dave, your male friend. I admit I sometimes get carried away and try to fit the role of Rainbow Dash the female pony, but you gotta remember that inside I'm not actually a mare.”

Evan is sweating bullets “Hey, I just couldn't sleep and I thought your tail looked nice..."

I just stare a Evan, he tries to smile back at me but eventually cracks. He let's out a long slow sigh and hangs his head. “Alright, you got me, I admit I do sort of feel something. But don't worry Dash, like I said before, I'm not going to make any moves on you. That would be wrong for a dozen different reasons, and we have enough crap to deal with right now without introducing romance. I will admit though, ever since this whole thing started I thought I would absolutely hate being a pony. But hanging out with you, what can I say, it's kind of fun. If we had to live to the rest of our live as ponies, I think I would be alright as long as you stuck around. And yea, we're just friends and that's all I want us to be for now. But if we knew we were going to be these bodies for life? If we were still male and female ponies in five or ten years? Well, what can I say, I'll admit I would dream that if that was the case, one day we could be more than friends.”

I feel my cheeks blush heavily. I was not expecting that sentiment, especially from Evan of all people. “Uh, wow, thanks for being honest I guess? You’re a good guy Evan, you deserve a real girl. A human girl taking care of a human Evan. You deserve a girl who loves you unconditionally, not just some randomly transformed pony.” I pause to look over at Evan "And yea, who knows how this will all turn out. In twenty years if we are both still like this and no closer to changing back, then sure, what the hell, I wouldn't mind settling down with you and everything that that would entail. But not now. Not like this.”

Evan looks up at me and nods “Yeah, I understand perfectly.”

I smile “Right, so for now let’s just focus on trying to figure this out. I mean if we can just get a hold of Flutters at her apartment then we--” I stop my sentence cold.

“Then we what?” Evan raises his head and looks over at me.

I feel my pupils grow wide with sudden realization. “No... that's impossible.”

“Dash? You look like you saw a ghost. What's wrong?” Evan’s face conveys concern but I pay him no attention and continue to connect the dots in my mind.

“Why didn't we think of this before? It makes so much sense!”

Evan paws at the ground “Oh for Pete's sake, spit it out woman!”

I turn back to Evan “Oh sorry. Ummm... here come with me, you can help me confirm this.” I start walking towards my room. I had mostly Dash merch in there, but I did have a poster of each of the mane six.

Evan follows me but complains as we walk “You know, where I come from, when someone realizes something interesting, they actually share it with those around them. How hard would it be to just tell me what you realized?”

“Shut up Evan, this will only work if I don't tell you anything. It will only take a second.” We had arrived at the entrance to my room. “Okay Evan, we're at my bedroom, now close your eyes, I'm going to lead you to a picture I want you to see.”

Evan obeys and closes his eyes “A picture you say? Hmm, now that you mention it, you wouldn't by any chance have any "nice" pics of ponies that I could borrow? You know, for my own use? What did Jack they call that stuff? ....clop? Have any clop saved? I mean, if this is my species now, I might as well take a look right?"

I raise my eyebrow. I did have some clop on my hard drive, and a good chunk of it was of Rainbow Dash. The thought of giving the pics to Evan was strange. I mean, I shouldn't care if he sees the pics, right? They were just pictures that random people drew of a pony from the show. They weren't actually pictures of me. So why did I feel so defensive at the idea of other people seeing those pictures?

I shake my head. This wasn't the time for this conversation. "Damnit Evan, come on, this is serious! How can you think about something like that right now?”

Evan opens his eyes and then smiles. “You forgot what it's like to be a guy huh?”

I lightly smack his shoulder “Urgh, just shut up and close your eyes, now I'm going to lead you to a picture I want you to see. Now keep your eyes closed and follow my voice.” I walk ahead of him and make my way to a corner of my room that was underneath a large poster print that I got a few years ago.

Evan is right behind me with his eyes closed, I step to the side so nothing is between him and the poster. “Okay Evan. Now in a moment I want you to open you eyes. As soon as you open them I want you to tell me what you see. Name the thing shown on the poster. Aaaaand open!”

Evan opens his eyes, sees the poster, and doesn't even hesitate to answer, “Fiona.”

I fall back on my haunches and let my front legs go limp “Fuck, I knew it. We should have done something sooner...”

Evan looks at me, then back at the poster and squints at it. “I don't understand. What is this a picture of? A pony? What sort of thing did you test?”

“Evan, that's a picture of Fluttershy. Fiona is Fluttershy.”

Evan looks back at the picture and blinks. “What, wait, Fiona is a pony? That yellow one from the show? What the fuck?!”

Evan looks at me for answers and I just stare blankly back at him “Dude, I’m pretty much just as confused as you man.”

Evan throws his hooves in the air in frustration “The hell is going on around is? Fiona is joining our ranks? Is ANYONE we know not a pony? How long as Fiona been one for!?”

I shrug “Well, she’s probably been a pony ever since we were. I mean, if I had to guess I would say this whole thing started on the same day for all of us.”

Evan is still confused “And how did you just realize this now?”

I sigh “I accidentally said 'Flutters' instead of Fiona back in the living room. I was going to dismiss it as a random slip of the tongue, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I mean, she is our same age, she was at the birthday party where this all started for the rest of us, and she completes our circle of friends. To be honest, we should have seen it sooner given the clues. I guess we were all so distracted by our own changes that we didn't see the obvious thing in front of us the whole time.”

Evan rubs his neck ”But why is another one of our friends a pony? What does this tell us? Is the entire world turning into fucking ponies or something?”

I shake my head “No, there aren't that many of us. Think about it Evan, you were in Chicago and Jack and I were in town. No one else had pony ears and hooves.”

“So why us? Why just our friends?”

I bite my lip “I don't know Evan, but this can't be a coincidence. This isn't random chance, something or someone must have set this in motion. Our transformations are part of a plan that someone else set up.”

Evan gets up and starts to leave the bedroom.

I trot after him and find him in the kitchen putting the canvas bag back on. “Evan? What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“Back to Fiona's place. Fluttershy's. Whatever.” Evan starts making his way towards the door.

I start to follow him “Umm, but we were just there. It's locked and she isn't there. Heck, Fiona probably fled town.”

Evan open the door “Exactly. She’s probably terrified and confused and is either cowering in her apartment and ignoring the doorbell, or she got scared and ran away somewhere. Either way, we should get into her apartment and see if she is there or if she left any clues behind. If she's a pony like you say she is, then we need to find her.”

I follow Evan out the door “Oh, you wanna find her because you think she can help us change back?”

Evan stops in his tracks and turns to face me “No. I have to find her because she's ALONE and she's running around a human world as a pony. A thousand different things could happen to her if she gets caught, and every single one of them is bad. We have to find her before someone else does. We need to bring her somewhere safe.”

I lower my ears slightly in response to the sudden aggressive stance of Evan. He looked really serious all of a sudden. I open my mouth to ask why he thought humans would abuse ponies, but I soon decide against it. Might as well ask my next question, “Evan, if Fiona isn't home, how do you plan we get into her apartment? Do you have lockpicks in that magic canvas bag of yours?”

“Nope. No lockpicks.” Evan snickers for a moment “Just hooves. Just hooves and one hell of a kick.”


The walk over to Fiona's apartment was pretty uneventful, just as before it was only a block away, and this time the streets were completely and totally abandoned since it was 2am.

We once again found ourselves near the large shrub on the corner of her apartment building. Since there was no one outside at 2am, we ignored any premise of stealth and we both just walked right up to the door and rang Fiona’s apartment again. No answer.

I look over at the door. “Hey Evan, I found a flaw in the brilliantly planned brute force ‘kick down the door’ plan of yours.”

Evan looks at the front door and then back at me “And what’s that?”

I wave a hoof at the large front door ”It’s not just that Fiona’s apartment door will be locked, this front door is also locked. And this is a reinforced exterior door. I mean, that thing isn’t some flimsy wood, that door is a good two inches of heavy, weathered steel.

Evan smirks “So? I can take it.”

I roll my eyes. “Well I know you could, muscles for brains, but that door opens into the lobby, which of course is surrounded by rooms on every side. Kicking down the steel door of that size would wake up everyone on this half the block.” Evan frowns and I continue “This isn’t a smash and grab, we need to keep subtlety and stealth for as long as possible. We’re going to have to abort the plan and turn tail and run the second someone opens their door and sees two pastel ponies in their building.”

Evan rubs his head “Why can’t this just be easy for once.”

I chuckle alongside him “Yeah, I don’t know why someone decided to add ‘must remain hidden at all times’, and ‘must not make noise’ to our list of challenges. Wasn’t it hard enough that we had to do all this as colorful quadrupeds with wings and hooves?”

Evan suddenly raises his head and looks over at me, tracing his eyes over my back. “Um... so about that. You remember how to use those wings?”

I raised an eyebrow “What? I guess I do, but how does that--.” Evan cuts me off by nodding his head at the building and I follow his gaze and look up. The building was five stories high, and on the highest floor there was an open window. It was directly above the lobby, which means it was the common area of that floor.

I smile “Hey, you know what, that might actually work. Good thinking there Big Red.”

Evan laughs “Well don’t thank me yet, you’re the one that has to go do it. I’ll go wait in the bushes, you have fun up there. Oh, and try not to plummet to your death in the process by the way.”

I let out a small yawn then stand up, crack my neck, and stretch my wings “Mmmm, thanks for the confidence pal.”

He smirks, ”Hey, I’m just worried the only female, non-family member of my species is going to kill herself. We can’t have that happen now can we?”

I shake my head and leave the bushes “Wow, you really know how to say a goodbye don’t you Evan? Not an ‘oh no, you're one of my best friends, I could never live without you!’ nope, you decide to go with the ‘hey, don’t die, you’re pretty much the only compatible female on earth’. I mean wow Evan, you're such a romantic.”

I hear Evan laugh from behind the bushes “Well hey, it’s true, you are a rare breed!”

I look up at the window and start to judge how high I have to go and how I can land up there. I take a deep breathe and get ready, but make one final comment at Evan “You know, that comment isn’t actually true. Fluttershy is also female. Assuming we find her, maybe you two should hook up, it would be a hell of lot less weird than you and me.”

Evan says something in return but I can’t hear it over the sound of my wings beating as I do a running leap into the air and take flight. It feels strange to jump in the air and not hit ground, but that’s what happening right now. I panic for a second and start to stumble in mid air, but then focus on doing my standard wing flaps.

I eventually stabilize and find myself hovering at about the 2nd story windows. I can only imagine what someone would think if they looked outside their window right now, but I flap harder and watch the windows move by as I quickly gained altitude. I soon find myself at the 5th story height and clumsily work a way to move forward towards the window.

I look down (bad idea) and try not to think about the impossibility of what I was doing right now. Right, so I’m fucking FLYING five stories in the air right now. I’m in mid air, held aloft by my own wings. Yeah, I have wings now, and oh yeah, I’m also a fucking horse. Man, what the hell have I done with my life.

The complete and utter insanity of my situation makes me laugh slightly as I approach the windowsill. Thankfully I manage to keep my balance and I grab the frame and very awkwardly stumble through the open window and collapse on the floor. I look around, there is no one in sight, just an empty common room with a hallway running through it and a bank of elevators on the far side. I debate if I should take the elevators, it is 2am, it’s not like anyone is going to see me. I trot over to the elevators and hit the ‘down’ button with my nose. I sit back on my haunches and look up at the lights above the door and wait for the elevator to arrive. Nothing to see here folks, just a pony waiting for an elevator.

A ding announced the elevator’s arrival and I hop inside and press the ground floor. As the elevator doors close I look around and smile when I see this elevator had mirrors on both sides. Looking left or right results in you seeing an infinite number of reflections of yourself. I laugh as I see a million Rainbow Dashes all around me. I do a slow twirl and start making amusing poses to pass the time.

I’m in the middle of standing on my hind legs and batting my mane back and forth with a hoof when the elevator dings and the doors open on the ground floor. I take one last look into the mirror before I decide to leave, but suddenly notice the smell of alcohol and feel the elevator shift as someone steps on.

Fuck. My pupils shrink and I feel the hair on the back of the neck stand up. I look back at at the mirror I see a human behind me stumble into the elevator. It was some random college aged kid in a leather jacket who seemed to have a hard time standing. He was clearly intoxicated, as he could barely keep his eyes open, had drool on his mouth, and his clothing reeked of rum and vomit. After a second’s pause, I realize that he was so wasted he didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I’m in the elevator with him. I slowly hop back down on all fours and try to quietly step off the elevator. I step off and breathe a sigh of relief, “Phew, that was a close call, thankfully this guy was alone and--”

“Matt... hey Matt are you holding the elevator for me bro?” A new voice appears from around the corner and footsteps approach.

Buck, another one. I hear the drunkard in the elevator mumble something to his friend. The footsteps hasten, the owner of the voice will be here in seconds. I bite my lip and glance around left and right. This elevator room was a basic square with nothing to hide behind and the only exit was the hallway where the voice was coming from. My mind panics and gets stuck in a logic loop “Where to hide, where to hide, where to hide, where to--”

“Matt, I can’t believe you did 15 shots in one hour, that’s gotta be some....” The owner of the voice turns the corner and his voice trails off as he looks down and stares at me, the cuddly rainbow pony just standing in the middle of the room.

“What the... what... hey Matt, holy shit bro I am so fucking wasted right now. Dude, I’m seeing shit bro. What the fuck, I’m drunk, not on shrooms...”

I bite my tongue and try to remain motionless. This newcomer was almost as drunk as his friend, hopefully I can play into his idea that I’m just a hallucination of some kind.

I remain completely motionless as the human walks over to me and rubs his eyes before going back to staring at me and speaking to his friend “Matt, this is fucking creepy, I knew I shouldn’t have tried to do a ‘Power Hour’ using shots of Absinthe.”

The human learns forward to look at me, struggling to keep his balance in the meantime. Feeling this was my time to shine I suddenly twist my body and turn to look up at his face. I give my best creepy grin and stare right into his eyes “The purple cookie will shine on Tuesday with a watch made of wax.”

The human’s eyes grow wide and his tongue useless flops around in his mouth as his ethanol-addled brain attempts to process the sentence made by his ‘hallucination’. After a few seconds the human finally swallows and starts to walk backwards away from me “Thank you for the warning. Rainbow colored dog... with wings. I will make note of the purple cookie.”

I continue to bite my tongue to hold back laughter as the human drunkenly stumbles away from me and makes his way to the elevator without looking back. The elevator doors close as I hear the human mumble something about never drinking this much ever again.

I smack my lips together “Well, that was fun. Now, back to the mission at hand.” I go down the hallway that the drunks had came from and find myself in the apartment lobby. I trot over to the main door and hold it open, then wave a hoof in the air as I look over at the bush where I had left Evan. After a few seconds the crimson pony appears in the moonlight and canters over to the doors and slips in.

“Holy shit Dash, you are super lucky. If you would have made it to the lobby 30 seconds sooner you would have run into these two guys!”

I raise an eyebrow “Oh really? Two guys you say?”

Evan nods as we make our way back to the elevators “Yeah, just as you slipped into the window (oh, nice work by the way) I spotted these two drunk guys making their way to the building. One of them stopped to throw up while the other went inside. Then the second guy went in and I was worried you would meet them on the stairs or something.”

“Haha, yea, that would have been awkward alright” I put on a fake smile, I don’t think Evan would approve of how I dealt with the drunks. Oh well, what he doesn't know can’t hurt him. Though, come to think of it, that expression doesn’t really make sense.

The dinging of the elevator brings me out of my thoughts and we step onto the elevator. I hit the third floor button and turn to see Evan staring at the infinite mirror reflections. “Dash, have I ever told you that we look kind of strange. I mean, we don’t look like actual ponies, and we don’t look human.”

“Yes, thank you for the wonderful insight Evan.” I laugh and shake my head, I wasn’t going to get caught up looking at my reflection in this elevator, I learned my lesson the last time I did that in here.

Eventually we arrive on the third floor which, thankfully, is void of people at the moment. We make our way down to 306 and Evan knocks loudly on the door. A few seconds pass and Evan knocks again, I press up close to the door and call out “Fiona, it’s Evan and Dash! Open up.”

Evan starts laughing. I look up at him “What’s so funny?”

He shakes his head “Your mind is really just gone, you know that? ‘Evan and Dash’? She doesn’t know that’s your name.” Evan leans into the door “Open up Fiona, it’s Evan and Dave! Let us in.”

I roll my eyes “Whatever, I told you, I’m done with that name. Now come on, she’s not answering the door, do what you came here to do ‘Muscles.”

Evan sighs and looks both ways, making sure all the other doors are closed. The coast is clear, we are alone. Evan turns around and places one back hoof below the doorknob. He gets a feel for the spot and does a few light practice taps on the area before pulling his leg back and prepares to buck. I await the kick but Evan stays frozen in position.

“What’s the matter? Come on Muscles, let’s go.”

Even grits his teeth “I was just thinking that the last time I kicked something apart it was louder than a cannon blast. This kick is going to wake up a few people, so as soon as this door is open we are going to have to get inside and close the door before someone comes to check on the noise. Hmm, hopefully we can still close the door in some fashion after I kick it open...”

I nod in agreement but then realize something “Hold on Evan, what do you mean ‘the last time I kicked something apart’? When did you have to kick something apart?” Evan goes poker face and starts to blush, so I continue “It was in Chicago wasn’t it?”

Evan is sweating now “uh, uh...” Evan realizes he’s out of options. Oh wait, no he’s not!


I throw my hooves over my ears as the deafening sound blasts it’s way down the hall and the door explodes inwards, slamming into the doorstop. “Jesus Bucking Christ! Evan you were supposed to open the door, not imitate the sound of a concussive grenade!”

Evan gives a sheepish grin “Sorry! I only used one hoof too! I blame the door for being so flimsy!”

I shake my head and we both quickly made our way inside and attempt to close the door. Miraculously, the door actually goes back into place. The inside of the doorframe had a chunk missing from it and the deadbolt was now useless, but at least the door closed and looked healthy from the outside. I toss the chain lock on the door and we make our way inside, keeping the main lights off so people coming to look for the source of the noise won’t think anyone was here.

Evan pokes his head around a corner and heads left “Fiona? Are you here? It’s us, your friends! Sorry we kicked your door down, but please come out.”

I turn right and head down to the other side of the apartment “Fiona, it’s okay if you’re a pony, you’re not alone! I know you’re probably scared, but we can help you.” I enter her bedroom and turn on a small lamp, her bed was made and there was no sign of her anywhere.

Evan calls out from across the apartment “Dash, any luck? She’s not in the living room or kitchen.”

“Same deal with me Evan, she’s not... here” my voice pauses as I see something on the floor. I trot over to it and pick it up in my hooves, sighing as it confirms my suspicions. In my hooves was a feather, a yellow pegasus feather.

I stare at the feather and feel tears well up in my eyes. How could I have abandoned her like this? She was one of my best friends and I didn’t even think to check on her. I mean, I had a hard enough time dealing with all these changes, and I had friends like Jack and Evan with me. But to deal with all this alone? Fiona had no one to turn to and probably even now thinks she is alone in the world. Where is she? How are we supposed to find her?

Evan trots in the room “Hey Dash, looks like she bailed for good. Her thermostat was shut off and her kitchen was emptied of perishable food. I don’t think she planned on coming back.”

I wipe the tears from my eye and trot passed Evan, handing him the yellow feather. “She was one of my best friends Evan, I should have been here for her.”

Evan looks at the feather then turns back to face me as I walk away “Oh come on dude, it’s not like you abandoned her on purpose, you kind of had your own shit to deal with. No one in your situation would have thought to check up on everyone.”

“That’s no excuse Evan. I’m not a girl that leaves her friends behind. I could have just called Fiona, I had plenty of time to make a simple phone call--”

“Dash! Blaming yourself isn’t going to solve this, now come on, you want to find her, think. Where could she have gone? How can we find her?”

I rubbed more forehead. I had absolutely no idea where she was. Fiona’s shy nature means she didn’t talk much about herself. I actually kind of feel bad, I consider her my friend but I don’t really know where her family is from or if she has any relatives in the area. Though wait a second...

I look up with sudden clarity “Diary. Fiona told me she keeps a diary.” I start walking towards the bed.

Evan raises his eyebrows. “Well, that could be helpful I suppose. Hopefully she left it here when she left.”

I flip through some notebooks on her bed stand. “She did, it’s right here.” Under my hoof was an expensive, artsy notebook with Fiona’s soft calligraphy written across the cover ‘MY DIARY’.

I turn on her bed lamp and flip to the last few entries. The last three entries were May 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Thinking back, the birthday party was on the 1st, we grew long hair and tails on the 2nd, and on the 3rd we woke up with the wrong genitalia and ended the day almost fully transformed.

Evan trots up behind me and peers over my shoulder “Anything good, what’s it say?”

I cover the page with a hoof “Dude, back off, Fiona wouldn’t want some guys reading her diary, this shit is personal!”

Evan gives me a confused stare and shakes a hoof at me “Oh come on, YOU’RE reading it, let me see what it says!”

I roll my eyes “Fluttershy is my friend, and we’re both girls thank you very much. Girlfriends can have secrets between them, secrets she wouldn’t want some boys to read.”

Evan bites his tongue “You’re really pulling the girl card here huh?”

I shrug my shoulders “Hey, I’m the one who found himself with a vagina. If I have to put up with that, I might as well take the benefits that come with it.”

“Urgh, fine. You read it, just let me know if you find anything.”

“Fair enough” I nod and look down to start reading.

May 1st,

Today was an interesting day, that’s for sure. I just got back from Jack and Dave’s birthday party. I was super happy to see that they both LOVED their birthday presents. I spent a long time on those plushies, but seeing their reactions and smiles just makes it all worth it!

Though I admit, I was a little sad to give away those plushies. They were just so adorable! You know, I should make one for myself one of these days. I mean, it is my birthday today too (happy 25th!). I should really tell my friends that today is my birthday, but ever since we met I saw how excited Jack and Dave got over their shared birthday I just didn’t have the heart to say anything about mine. May 1st was such a big day for those two, I never wanted to take the spotlight away from them. Now that I know them better, I could probably tell them my birthday, but at this point it would just be really awkward. They would wonder why I never told them about my birthday before! Oh, it’s all just not worth the fuss at this point.

But that’s okay, I had a nice birthday lunch with Spirit earlier today, he’s such a good kitty cat! I took him with me to the park and we sat in the sun and I enjoyed a nice sandwich while Spirit had some tuna. Come to think of it, his lunch was actually fancier than fine, but it was really great to see himself enjoy his lunch like that! He’s such a good kitty, I need to attach some pictures to one of these diary entries.

Not today though, I’m getting sleepy from the alcohol I drank at the party. Today was a very fun day but it’s time for me to go to bed.

Until next time,

- Fiona

Hey! I guess I need to add a PS onto what I wrote, I was just changing into my nightgown and I found the most peculiar thing on my legs: Fluttershy’s cutie mark! It looks so real, but who put it there? This just doesn’t make any sense, the mark wasn’t there this morning, and wouldn’t I have felt it if someone put it there during the day? It’s very strange, how, when, and why did these butterflies appear on my skin? I wonder if I should be worried? Who do I even see about something like this? Hmm, hopefully I have answers for you tomorrow diary~~~

I put the diary down and look up with a tear in my eye. It was Fiona’s birthday, and all these years she never said anything. She got us gifts every year and always came to our parties, and we never even thought to ask her when her birthday was. What kind of friends were we?

Evan gives me a strange look “Well? Anything important?”

I sigh “Her birthday was on May 1st and that’s about when she got her cutie mark. So all four of us have the exact same birthday, and we all got our cutie marks then. I’m starting to believe that all these changes must be connected to the fact that we each turned 25.”

Evan stands up and walks over to the window “Fiona was hiding her birthday date from us? Well, can’t say I can blame her, I was never exactly honest with mine. I think you’re right though, this all seems to be connected to us turning 25. Unfortunately, that in itself doesn’t really help us at all. It’s not like we can just get younger in order to change back.”

I nod silently, then begin to skim the next page to see if it has anything useful.

May 2nd,

Oh diary, this has been the worst day of my life! I don’t know what’s happening!

I bumped into Dave earlier today, my mind was so confused about this cutie mark that I must of had ponies on the brain or something. When I spoke to Dave I accidentally called him Dash! It was so embarrassing! He was kind enough not to say anything about it, but I know he heard me. He probably thinks I’m way too into MLP or something, and that was before I started looking like I do right now! Diary, I have pink hair! And a tail! I actually grew a pink horse’s tail! Ahh, what’s happening to me? And as if that wasn’t bad enough, my ears turned yellow and are covered in fur. Oh this is all just so terrible. I can’t even go anywhere and ask for help because people will just think I’m some sort of freak!

This happened at the worst possible time too. After spending the morning worrying about the strange appearance of these pink butterflies on my legs, I decided to go to a tattoo parlor to get the tattoo removed. I called a local parlor and they told me that they had an opening that evening at 5pm. I gave them my contact information and told them I would be there. Then I had lunch with Spirit and while washing my hands I realized my hair was pink and several feet longer than it is supposed to be! At the time I was worried about that, but in hindsight I’m pretty sure that’s the least of my problems!

I was still curious about this cutie mark thing so before I went to the tattoo parlor I spent some time online searching if anyone else had this happen to them. Strangely enough, on Twitter there was a result to the search I did. There was a single post made today by someone called ‘mlp4evar’ and it read “Woke up with a Cutie Mark today! I’m confused, but happy! #mlp #bizarre” I sent him a message asking what he meant by his tweet, hoping that maybe he could help me.

In the evening I went to the tattoo parlor. Diary, this was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I show up at 5pm and met the guy as planned. I then change into a bikini I had with me so he could have access to my legs to get at the tattoo. I lie flat on my stomach and he starts working on my left thigh. I feel the pain of him doing his work to remove the tattoo, but after a few minutes he stops working and steps away from me. He gets angry and starts asking what kind of trick I was trying to pull on him and if I was trying to discredit his store. Confused, I look back and see my full tattoo still there. The man yells at me saying the tattoo wasn’t going away like it should and that I must have done something strange to make it impossible to remove. He was demanding to know what sort of trick I was trying to pull on him.

I try telling him I didn’t do anything and he starts to yell at me again but then suddenly stops yelling and just stares at my lower back. I ask him what’s wrong and he drops his tools and points at my rear. I turn around and that’s when I found out I had grown a tail. Right above my bikini line there was a large, fluffy, pink horse’s tail. I scream and the tattoo guy starts throwing things at me and tells me to get out of his store, saying that thing wasn’t there a few minutes ago, and that I clearly wasn’t human. I didn’t even have time to grab my clothes, I ran out to my car in my bikini and drove home full of tears and confusion over what was happening to me.

I finally got home and found my ears had changed as well. I would have cried over that, but I think my eyes were out of tears at that point in the day. I didn’t feel like eating dinner so I just went to my computer looking for good news. I did have one message waiting for me, the person from Twitter had replied, he told me his cutie mark post was a joke and that he was just kidding.

Great, so now I’m completely alone and even more lost than I was yesterday when I found the cutie mark. Diary, how could this get any worse?

- Fiona

I wince reading that last line. I knew it was most certainly going to get worse for poor Fiona. I turn to Evan “Not much in that chapter that can help us Evan, it’s just about Fiona going through hell.”

Evan frowns “Yea I can imagine, poor girl. Well, hopefully it has a happy ending.”

I look down at the page, the paper was spattered with tears, I don’t think Evan was going to get his wish.

May 3rd,

Diary, my entire life is over. Nothing makes sense anymore, and I’m so scared. I woke up with hooves. Hooves! What am I, some sort of wild animal? I mean I like ponies and I always loved animals, but I don’t want to become one! I couldn’t look at my body anymore, I spent the whole day wrapped under a blanket hiding from myself. What did I do to deserve this? I was always kind to everyone, why am I the one who has to suffer? I just wish I knew what was going on, I spent the entire day looking stuff up online but I haven’t had very much luck finding anything.

If there is any silver lining in this, I seem to be closer to Spirit. My cat hasn’t left my side and I feel like I can practically hear his thoughts. He can’t help me though, I don’t know if anyone can help me anymore. Maybe it’s time I just run away from everyone and everything and go to the glen. That won’t solve anything though, I need help, I need someone to talk to about this!

That guy from the tattoo parlor certainly isn’t helping things either. He keeps calling me and leaving messages on my phone, calling me a freak and saying he’s going to report me to the police or something. I’m so scared, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with without that creep on my back! I disconnected my phone but it’s probably only a matter of time until he finds my address. I need to get out of here, but where can I go? I don’t have any close family members around here.

I think I’m going to go meet Dave. He lives nearby and he’s a great friend. He might freak out at first seeing someone like me appear at his door, but if I tell him who I am I bet he would help me. I really hope he does, he’s the only one in the city I can count on right now. If he doesn’t help me... well, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Well, this is it diary, I leave you here with the rest of my human belongings. It’s 1am on May 4th right now it’s getting really hard to use my fingers. I think I’ll wait for this transformation to finish, and then in the middle of the night I will go to Dave’s.

Goodbye forever,


The notebook slides off my lap and I hold my hooves over my closed eyes as tears run down my arms. God damn it, this is all my fault.

Evan sees my tears and walks over to put a hoof on my shoulder “Dash, what did she write? Where is she?”

I look up and blink through the tears “She’s gone Evan, she turned into Fluttershy and got scared. Last night she left her apartment to try and find me. She ran all the way to my place and put all her hope into finding me, but I wasn’t there, we were at the farm.” I let out a slow sigh “She needed me Evan, she said I was the only one she could trust... and I wasn’t there for her.”

Evan sits down next to me “Well, that explains the hoof mark on your door. She probably entered the building like we did and pounded on your door with her hooves, but no one was there. God damn, what if someone else heard her knocking and opened their door? What if someone else saw her? I hope she got out okay.”

I let out another sigh “Evan, what the hell are we going to do? How can we find her? She made one mention of a ‘glen’ but that means absolutely nothing to me. She could be anywhere in the state by now, and that’s the best case scenario assuming she’s made it out of the city before someone captured her.”

Evan bites his lip “I don’t know Dash, I don’t know. We’re going to have to think of something tomorrow.”

I lower my head in defeat. Evan was right, we needed sleep. It was close to 3am and we were not immune to the effects of being tired. “Fine, we’ll sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we continue our search.”

Evan yawns “Alright, well, sweet dreams Dash, dibs this side of the bed.”

I wash up and return to the bedroom to see Evan fast asleep on Fiona’s bed. How could he just go to sleep without washing his face or rinsing his mouth? Looks like girls were right all along, boys were pretty disgusting. I sigh and take up residence on the other side of the bed, closing my eyes and having a recurring dream quickly take hold in my mind.


Lighting filled the distant sky, it was about half an hour to midnight and I was flying across the night sky at an unbelievable speed. The lights of towns below me were just a blur as I streaked towards Canterlot. I needed to talk to Celestia and Luna as soon as possible. Something was going on back in Ponyville and I needed all the help I could get. Twilight was missing since morning and Fluttershy was telling me all her critters got spooked and left town. By lunchtime Rarity and Pinkie were missing so I went to ask Applejack for help, only to find her and Big Mac missing and destruction all around the farm. I raced back to Fluttershy’s place but it was too late, her cottage was destroyed and she was gone.

Tears formed in my eyes and rage coursed through my veins. There was something going on here and it reeked of Discord. I didn’t know what he had planned, all I know is my friends were disappearing one by one and it was up to me to save them. I just have to get to Canterlot and inform the Princesses and the other Wonderbolts. Then I can go after Discord and personally beat some answers out of him.

“And just how exactly are you going to do that Rainbow?”

Startled, I looked towards the voice, I was traveling at speeds previously unheard of to ponykind, but Discord was a few feet away. He was lying on his back and doing slow swimming strokes, yet somehow was sailing through the air just as fast as I was.

I cut my speed in half, then turn to snarl at Discord “You’ll never get away with this Discord! Bring all my friends back!”

Discord just turned and laughed. “Ah, the ever so bold and testy Rainbow Dash. I’m half tempted to turn you into one of those small yippy dogs, but alas, I already made this big plan and I wanna stick to it.”

I grit my teeth, he’s not making any sense, but I know he did something to my friends and I wasn’t going to let him get away. We were still both sailing forward at a pretty rapid pace, but in the blink of an eye I accelerate forward while twisting left. All my forward velocity gets shifted into the horizontal, my full speed and body mass is channeled into my hoof which slams into Discord’s face.

Discord lets out a howl of pain but a second later a wave of magic blasts me flying away. I regain my balance and turn back to face Discord, who spits out his broken tooth, only for a new one to grow back in it’s place. “Why that was rude Rainbow, I thought we were having a pleasant conversation.”

“There’s more where that came from Discord.” I snarl and start flapping to prepare for another dive, only for Discord to materialize next to me and backhand my face.

“ENOUGH! You don’t get it, do you Rainbow. It’s over! It’s all already over! This time I win, this time there is no happy ending. When I last took over I lowered my guard and let you six use your elements... but that isn’t happening this time”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE OTHERS!” I yelled as I once again try to buck him in the face, but this time he was ready and just teleported away before my hooves could make contact.

“My my my, testy as always little Rainbow, fighting to the very end. Like I was saying, after you six brought me back from stone I knew I had to be more careful this time. You really did make it too easy though, did you honestly think Fluttershy could reform CHAOS ITSELF! And you thought she did it in less than half an hour too! Ha ha ha, and to think they call me the crazy one.”

I flew up to get another strike at him. “I’ll ask you one last time Discord, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIENDS!”

Discord suddenly appeared behind me “Well you’re right about one thing. It is probably going to be the last time you ask me that, simply because it will be the last question you ever ask anyone. You see my little pony, Celestia had stopped me from casting spells on the Elements of Harmony. But that doesn’t stop me from casting magic... on you.” Discord began to cackle and his hands began to glow. “The Elements are not much use if you six aren’t here to use them are they?”

I flew up and then turned around in mid air to enter a dive. I was going to slam right into his smug little face. He would bring my friends back when I was done with him, I was closing in on him now, just seconds away from striking. He’s not even trying to dodge my attack, he’s just floating there, staring at me with his hands still glowing. “He can’t beat me, I’m the fastest flyer in all of Equestria. I’m the Captain of the Wonderbolts. I’m the Element of Loyalty. I AM RAINBOW DA--”

Everything stops and my vision fades to white faster than I can even blink. I feel all my senses go soft and fuzzy as I violently tumble through nothingness, Discord’s laugh fills the background and then his voice pieces the white haze.

For Five Score! Divided by Four!

Your memories removed, your body confused!

For your insolence you must pay,

Cast off to a land far far away!

To scatter the six, just the start of my tricks!

Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak!

Forgetting everything and living like a fool,

You have all lost, now no one can stop my rule!


My eyes shoot open and Fiona’s ceiling is above me. I sit up and look around for a moment, the darkness in the window told me it was still the middle of the night. Why was I awake? I dreamed about the season finale again, only this time I think I actually remembered the whole thing. I usually only remember bits and pieces, but not this time. I could picture the entire scene and recall every word. I run over the dialog in my head and the meaning of Discord’s curse makes my blood run cold. The meaning of his curse was clear, and a very strange and horrific truth dawns upon me:

That wasn’t a dream.

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