• Published 3rd Apr 2013
  • 37,266 Views, 6,994 Comments

Five Score, Divided by Four - TwistedSpectrum

As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right?

  • ...

7. So, now what?

Chapter 7: So, now what?

At the sound of the voice behind me I feel the cyan hairs on my neck stand up as I freeze, too scared to move a muscle. Jack and I had been foolish, we were so happy to return home with all of our supplies that we didn’t check if the house was empty, and now someone was standing behind us. I was holding Jack’s shoulder and I feel her tense up just as I had, and she mutters “That’s impossible...” without turning around.

I don’t know what Jack was getting at, or why this person said Jack’s brother had the key. This couldn’t be Evan, that wasn’t his voice. I slowly turn around to see who ambushed us. I don’t know who I was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t the person that I now saw standing in Jack’s kitchen.

Before me stood a large, muscular thing with a face that was almost entirely pony like in appearance. Large, furry red ears poked up through his sandy mane, and streaks of red fur were visible on his arms and neck. He also stood on two large tan hooves, with tufts of red fur covering the tops of them. I wanted to ask who he was, why he was here, what was he going to do to us, and why did he appear to be in the same state of “50% pony” that Jack and I were in. Unfortunately I didn’t know what question to ask first, so they all collided in my brain sort of like 10 kids all trying to squeeze through the lunchroom door all at once. The net result was I just stood there, mouth open, and ears drooping to the side.

The long silence was finally broken as he gave a small laugh, and then asked me a question, his voice half filled with doubt, half filled with hope. “Dave... right? You’re Dave?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded “Yeah, that’s me I guess.” I was still trying to figure out who this was, his voice was somewhat familiar, but it sounded different than what I remembered.

The figure started to smile to himself “Ha, I knew it. You and that damn rainbow pony, you two were practically one for years now, only makes sense that you ended up like this.”

I stand there and blink. Who the hell was this? I turn to see that Jack had slowly walked up to me and now stood at my side. She squints at the figure in front of us before quietly speaking, “Evan?”

I looked back at the figure who smiled more. My eyes went wide at the realization “Holy shit.”

The red haired one in front us of spread his arms wide “Brother!! How ya been?” he then walks up to Jack and embraces her a huge hug.

Jack didn’t say anything but hugged Evan back as tears welled up in her eyes.

Evan released the hug “Oh man, am I glad to see you brother, you would not BELIEVE the day I had today.” Evan pauses as he looks over at his sibling’s appearance. “Okay, I guess you would believe me, but still! Crazy fucking day! Damn it is good to be back home.” Evan turned around and went back to bottle of Scotch, pouring himself another glass.

Jack was slightly smiling now and walked up behind Evan, her tail swinging slowly behind her “Evan, wow, you too huh? Just like me and Dave, damn I wonder who else is involved.”

“No one else in Chicago, that’s for damn sure. I don’t recommend going back there right now” Evan cringes as he remembers something or someone “Yeah, let’s never go back to Chicago ever again.”

I move up to stand by Jack and Evan. “Wait, so Evan, you’re... Big Mac? What the hell, that’s not even mane six, this makes no sense!”

Evan raised his eyebrows “Oh so me randomly turning into a red farm pony from your favorite TV show makes no sense? Wow, who would have thunk it, excellent observation, I better write that one down!”

I roll my eyes and then Jack looks over at me. “Well, I mean, I'm becoming Applejack right? Evan is my brother, so I guess it kind of makes sense that if he was turning into a pony, that pony would be Big Mac .”

Before I can comment Evan speaks up once more “Yeah, I looked Applejack up on my phone earlier, heh, you kind of got the short end of the stick there huh? She was a mare on the show, so you end up getting longer blond hair and soft eyes. Now everyone is going to think you’re a girl.” Evan chuckled to himself as he sipped his Scotch.

Jack and I exchanged glances, Evan didn’t know we were females. This could be awkward.

Evan puts his Scotch down and lays a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “So, brother, why did you pick Applejack? I understand why Dave here chose Mrs. Rainbow Pants, but why did you choose this blond one? Could you only choose from a few characters or something and needed to pick one that had a sibling so I could fit? And on that note, couldn't you have, oh I don't know, TOLD ME first?”

Jack pushes Evan’s arm off her shoulder. “I didn’t ‘choose’ this you dolt. This just fucking happened.”

Evan poured himself more Scotch, he was getting tipsy. “Bullshit, people don’t turn into ponies at random, you did something brother.” Jack winced every time Evan referred to her in the masculine.

“Oh yes, just because I like a show it means I wanted my entire life to be ruined and for my body to be taken away from me” Jack said with a raised voice. She was quickly getting annoyed by this exchange, she didn’t like the situation she was in any more than Evan did, and being blamed for the whole thing was testing her patience.

I felt things quickly getting out of hoof so I stepped in “Calm down everyone, and Evan, now is not the time to be drinking, we all are stressed out at--”

Evan glanced sideways at me and cut me off “Stay out of this Dave, you always loved that pony, so why don’t you just go to a mirror and take pictures of yourself or something. Now my brother--”

“SISTER” Jack cut him off forcefully before I could even formulate a reply.

A moment of silence fell across the three of us before Evan glared at his sibling and spoke up “I think you’re taking this roleplaying a little far brother. Now tell me how to change back to normal so we can fix all of this.”

Jack was fuming “I told this I DIDN’T DO THIS, oh and another thing brother” Jack reaches down and grabs her boxers in one hand “I’m NOT roleplaying you idiot!” Jack pulls her hand up fast, ripping her boxes clean off her body and leaving her standing there completely nude. Thankfully, orange fur covered her entire pelvis and lower limbs, but it didn't take a biologist to notice her anatomy was not that of a male.

We all froze, and Jack stood there with her legs in a wide stance, exposing everything. She just remained there with a sort of “Any other questions?” expression on her face. Evan dropped his glass, which clinked loudly and rolled across the table, spilling alcohol everywhere. I would have reach out and stopped the glass from rolling, but I found myself a bit distracted by the sight before my eyes. This was wrong on every level.

Evan’s mouth gapes for a few second and then he swallows hard. “Point made my... um...” Evan pauses as he looks for the word.

“Sister” I say quietly, without turning my head.

“Mm, thank you. So, sister, you made your point I guess? You gonna put your pants back on now?”

Jack steps forward and gets back to the table, reaching out and picking up the whisky glass that was still on it’s side “Meh, not really. Ponies don’t normally wear clothes, and I’m pretty sure we passed the 50% mark and are more pony than human at this point.”

“So you’re just going to walk around naked now?” I ask, raising an eyebrow

Jack fills the glass with a small amount of Scotch and downs the glass “Yep. Got a problem with that?”

I shake my head and laugh softly, but then Evan steps back from the table and turns his head to study my body. “Wait... if Jack is a mare then are you...”

I reach up and rub a hand on the back of my neck and blush slightly “Yeah, about that... heh, looks like you have the only Y chromosome in the house Evan”

Evan just stares at me, so I also add “Oh, but I’m not taking off my pants, thank you very much. This conversation is awkward enough with one naked person at the table.”

“One naked pony at the table” Jack corrects me.

I roll my eyes. “Pass that Scotch Jack, I think I need some myself.”

Evan is double facepalming “Can’t believe you both switched genders, how could you do that, you guys were guys all your life. ”

Jack backhands her brother’s head, causing him to look at her. “Dumbass, I told you like twelve times, we didn’t want this you happen.” Jack pauses and points down at his nethers “You think I wanted to have one of these!? Really?”

Evan opens his hands and admits that his brother does have a point, Jack was a man’s man, he did like MLP, but outside of that he was a textbook hardworking farm hand. Jack wasn’t the type of person to wish he was a girl. With Evan seemingly finally paying attention to his sister, Jack continued “I didn’t want this. Neither of us did!” Jack points at me. “Sure Dave here had probably clopped to Rainbow Dash, but he never wanted to be Rainbow Dash. I mean really this makes no sense!”

I slam back the last of the Scotch in the glass. What Jack said was pretty much true,

Evan tossed up his hands “Alright, alright, I get it. You guys didn’t want this. Do you at least know how the hell this all happened and how we can fix this?”

Jack and I exchanged looks and shrugged our shoulders at each other. I turned back towards Evan “Sorry, we have random theories, but nothing of substance. Your sister and I were super busy today and didn’t have much time to figure this out. We actually planned on sitting down and thinking through all this stuff tomorrow.”

A look of confusion crossed Evan’s face. “You were busy? What? What the hell were you doing? I would think our current situation would take precedent. How exactly did that conversation go? ‘Oh hey Jack, we appear to be mutating into four legged animals. Should look into this? Meh, not now, maybe later. How about next week Friday? I'm busy this week, I wanted to clean out my basement...’”

Jack and I roll our eyes in unison and then both turn without saying anything and walk towards the hallway where we dropped off our shopping bags.

Evan moves to follow us. We soon enter the hallway and I turn on the florescent lights, after which Evan gasps and speaks out “Whoa, holy fuck Dave what happened to your back?”

I keep walking but reply “Oh, didn’t you know? I’m a pegasus. I get wings. They’re not fully formed yet but yeah, I should be able to fly fairly soon.”

Evan stops walking. “Wait, you get wings? How the fuck is that fair?! What do I get?”

Jack laughs as she joins the conversation “That’s what I said. And besides, you can’t really complain, at least you get to keep your penis.”

We approach the front of the house as Evan nods his head “Fair enough I suppose. Side note, walking behind your tails is really bizarre guys. Like seriously, this is creeping me out.”

We reach the end of the hallway near the front door, there were shopping bags everywhere on the floor over here. I turn back to Evan “Yeah, well get used to the tails, we’re going to have them for the rest of our life.”

Jack looked at me and raised an eyebrow, Evan just spoke up “You mean, until we fix all this and change back to humans.”

“Ah, yeah, that.” I bit my tongue. I didn’t wanna be the pessimistic one, but I was really starting to doubt we could reverse something like this. I mean don’t get me wrong, if we found a way to fix this I would probably take it so I could get my life back. But, I don’t know, this all seems completely out of our hands, I think we’re just along for the ride.

“So that’s a lot of bags.” Evan says looking down at the literal wall of white shopping bags piled by the door. There were so many that it almost looked like we were expecting a flood to come and we laid down a wall of sandbags, only instead of sand bags we used several thousands of dollars of supplies.

Jack starts rummaging through bags and pulling out random things to show to Evan. “Food, batteries, walkie talkies, tools, medications... We were busy today.”

Evan moved to one of the bags and looked inside “Huh, what can I say, I’m actually impressed. Nice work bro! Ah, wait, sorry, this is hard to get used to. Nice work sis!”

Jack laughed “Heh, yeah like I said, we were really busy today. I can’t take all the credit though, it was Dash's idea”. I blushed slightly and Jack continued “Sorry it’s all unorganized at the moment, we really should set up a storage room, but that’s a lot of work and Dash and I are exhausted. We put all the stuff that needs to be refrigerated into the downstairs fridge, but that’s all we did. We can do all the rest of the unpacking tomorrow.”

Evan nods “Sounds good.”

I start to speak up, about to say ‘We might not have hands tomorrow, we should unpack it today!’ but I stop myself before I say anything. While it would be smart to do the work today, screw that, I’m tired. Unpacking stuff in the future using hooves will be hard, but I will be a procrastinator to the very end, future problems are not my problems.

“Wait, what’s this?” Evan was looking in one of the Farm&Fleet bags and pulls out a brush, reading the label out loud. “Horse grooming comb, leaves the horse's coat slicker, shinier and well shed-out”

Evan squints over at his sister “Why did you buy this? What, are you planning on personally competing in a show horse competition or something?”

Jack walks over and grabs the brush from his brother’s hand and puts in back in the bag. “Oh quiet you, it’s basic grooming stuff, we’re probably going to want it in the long run. And if you don’t like it, well too bad, you should have been shopping with us instead of out having fun in Chicago.”

Evan bites his lip “Oh, you think I ‘had fun’ in Chicago? Yeah, about that...“

I lean forward eager to hear more about what happened, but to my dismay Evan doesn’t continue his story. He just stops it right there. Well, we will see about that “Hey Evan, I have been meaning to ask, what’s the deal with the handcuffs?”

Evan glances at his wrists, realizing he still had the remains of Jessica’s handcuffs on his wrists. He didn't want to relive that story right now, so he just blushes and hides them in his pockets “Oh... long story, um... I got arrested, police cuffs, it’s fine though. Say, do you have anything in this bags that can remove these?”

I point to the heavy duty bolt cutters we bought, and Jack picks them up and starts working them around Evan’s cuffs. I smile to myself, it was clear that Evan blushed when he realized he still had the cuffs on, you don’t blush from ‘getting arrested’ cuffs, you blush from bedroom cuffs. I wonder how they were used on him? So many possibilities...

“Dash, are you gonna help us out here, or are you just gonna stand there and stretch your wings?” I look back, noticing that my early wings had splayed out to the sides. Ah, crap! Looks like pegasus wings really do responding to mood. Well that's annoying, hopefully Evan and Jack don't catch on. Pushing the thought aside, I grit my teeth help them remove the cuffs from Evan.

Evan speaks up as the first cuff is removed “So, like I was saying earlier, do you guys have any idea what the hell is going on, and what is causing this? Because I kinda figured since it was ponies you guys would be the ones to know everything. I mean, if you guys knew anything about anything, it would be pony stuff that from that show. Meanwhile, all I know about these ponies is that they are colorful and have hooves, so, yeah I feel kind of useless here.”

Jack repositioned herself to get a better grip on the bolt cutters, it was getting harder and harder to hold things, her fingers were just not responding like they used to. “I told you brother, we had a few thoughts here and there, but nothing concrete.”

I continue Jack's dialog “We traced the changes back to the birthday party. The first physical change we got was the Cutie Mark, and that seems to have appeared at or around the moment we each turned 25.”

Evan looks clueless “Umm. The cute what now?”

I facepalm “The freakan tattoo on your leg, it's called a cutie mark, you should probably know this seeing as how you now have one.” Evan rolls his eyes and I continue “The mark appeared during the birthday party when we turned 25, so something at the birthday party probably triggered it.”

I held Evan's arm still as Jack finally got the bolt cutters in place and snapped off the final handcuff. Jack and I exchange a high five and then Evan speaks “Nice work sis, but back to the birthday party; what do you mean something at the party triggered it. What about the fact that we all turned 25? Nice round number, quarter of a century, maybe it means something?”

Jack put the bolt cutters away “That's what Dash said in the store, but--

Evan cut her off “Hold on, 'Dash'? That's like the third time you said that. Are you talking about Dave?”

Once again, I found myself blushing and rubbing the back of my neck “Yeah, Dave is a guy's name. We sorta decided to refer to me as Dash, I guess”

Evan narrowed his eyes “Like, as in Rainbow Dash, the pony? So you're not only becoming her physically, but you're taking her name too? That's pretty creepy dude.” Evan pauses and looks me over. I just shrug and Evan continues “Well, I guess you did have to suffer through changing genders and did need a new name, so I'll guess I'll let this slide. Still pretty creepy though.”

Jack waits for her brother to finish. “Done? Okay, so like I was saying. The 25 years of age being the catalyst for these changes was what Dash said in the store earlier today, but we both ruled it out because it doesn't really answer anything.”

I nod in agreement “Right, we're back to square one with that. And lets say turning 25 did cause all this, now what? If that was the real cause of all this then we might as well give up now because we can't reverse it. So for our own sake we need to assume it was something else.”

“What about Fiona?” Evan says after scratching his chin for a moment.

“What about her?” Jack says, confused as to why she was even brought up.

Evan continues “Well you said this all started at the party right? So... she was there. She was in contact with all three of us right when this happened. Seems pretty obvious she might have had a hand in all this, doesn't it?”

I raise an eyebrow “I don't know dude, I don't really take Fiona for the type of person who goes to a birthday party and thinks 'I know, let's cast a spell on all my friends and turn them into equine-morphs!' Come on now Evan, you know Fiona, this isn't her work”

Evan smirks “It's the quiet ones you gotta watch.”

Jack yawns loudly “Well, it is a lead, I'll give you that. We'll call her tomorrow and see if she has anything to say.”

The yawn is contagious and Evan and myself soon find ourselves yawing as well. I can't help but notice during Evan's yawn that his tongue is longer and broader than any human tongue. Seeing what was clearly a pony tongue on Evan was just bizarre, how deep did these equine changes run?

The thought of mouths and tongues made me realize I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. ”Hey guys, anyone else want something to eat?”

“Eat something? It's midnight?” Jack is confused.

“But I'm hungry!" I complain

AJ squints as she stares at me “Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat before bed? That's how you get gain weight!"

I roll my eyes "Oh please, I can afford a few pounds. Look at me, nothing but skin and bones! ...and feathers and fur!"

Jack laughs and continues to make fun of me "Well yeah, that's good, gotta keep a slim figure Ms. Dash, swimsuit season is coming!"

Evan's eyes dart between both of the girls “What? The hell are you two girls going on about?”

Jack and I both just start laughing, I turn to Evan "Ah nothing, Jack is just drunk and making fun of my gender again"

Evan shakes his head “Urgh, you girls are weird. I already miss 'Jack-with-a-penis'”

“So do I brother, so do I.” Jack laughs to herself a few more times and starts to lead us back to the kitchen. I follow her but I realize I don't agree with that Evan's sentiment. I don't know, I think I actually kind of like the new female Jack. We sort of click on a whole different level now because we both went through this bizarre gender flip together.


A little while later and we found ourselves spread out in the living room. Evan made himself a large salad and was sitting with his back towards us, just staring out the window at the thunderstorm raging outside. Jack had taken an entire bag of carrots and was munching away at them as she sat on the sofa looking at the 'Illustrated Atlas of Equine Anatomy'. Meanwhile I poured myself a bowl tasty alfalfa (much to Evan's disgust) and was thoroughly enjoying the greens as I paged through a book I found that was simply called 'Flight'. It was mostly on planes but it had a nice basic intro regarding the basics of flight and how lift was maintained by both planes and birds.

Reading about all this stuff made me kind of excited for tomorrow, wanting to share my excitement with someone I looked up at my comrades. Evan really didn't seem excited, in fact he pretty much embodied Hemmingway as he just stared out at the rain. Jack didn't look thrilled either, but at least she wasn't actively depressed so I moved over to his sofa and see how she was doing.

The first thing I notice is Jack is eating the whole carrots straight out of the bag. She didn't skin them, she didn't wash them, she didn't even cut off the stems. As I watch she eats an entire carrot up to and including the leafy steam that came off the top. She doesn't even seem to be aware of what she’s doing, she's just staring at the anatomy atlas. I look down at the page; it's a two page spread showing a huge uterus and other diagrams of the female equine reproductive system. I swallow the lump in my throat ”Hey Jack, looking at... stuff?”

Jack doesn't turn away from the page. “Why did I have to be a mare? Who decided that? I mean, I could deal with just becoming a pony, honestly I could. But a mare?" Jack sighs. “I'm over the shock of it and everything, but I just don't understand why.”

I put my bowl of greens down. “Maybe we'll find some answers tomorrow, we can call Fiona and--”

“We both know Fiona isn't going to be the answer.” Jack says curtly, then turns to look at me in the eye. Her pony eyes were huge. “We both know this thing goes back a long, long time. Since before we even met Fiona.”

“So when did it all start?” I ask, knowing that Jack didn't know the answer.

Jack said nothing and the only sound heard was the storm on the windows. The storm, which by the way would be over in about 3 hours, 26 minutes my senses told me.

The peace of the room was broken as Evan got up, put his empty plate on the table, and walked out of the living room and down the hallways. A moment later we hear his bedroom door open and close behind him.

“Well, goodnight to you as well my brother” Jack says with contempt. I still felt tension between the siblings, but there wasn't much I could do. Last time I tried to step in Evan rudely told me to leave and go admire my own body in front of a mirror.

'The nerve, what kind of person would actually...' my mind thinks before stopping abruptly. I glance up and look at the mirror on the far wall. I looked about 70% pony at this point. Wait, so I was 70% Rainbow Dash? I've loved every part of her for years now, and now is my chance to really see her up close and in person! Why haven't I done this yet?!

“Oh hey look at the time! Gotta go AJ, talk to you tomorrow and stuff.” I was already in the hallway and halfway to the guest room by the time I finished my sentence and before Jack could even respond. I yelled out one more “Goodnight!” before entering my room and closing the door behind me. The locking mechanism hadn't even finished closing before I reached down and pulled off my boxers. I looked down at my nude, female self and just sort of stared for a moment. This was strange beyond description, but it was still pretty sweet. I mean really now, how can I be upset that my body is changing, when I absolutely love the thing it was changing into?

I moved over to the mirror near the bed and continue to check out out arms, face, and neck. Cyan fur was almost everywhere at this point. I actually was rather fond of it, I mean, the colors matched my mane perfectly well. Part of my mind is now sounding alarm bells that I should not be liking what I see, and that I should be freaking out instead of smiling, but I just shrug. Not much I can do to stop this, might as well be optimistic about it.

I shut off the light and lie flat on the bed, letting my hands run up and down my stomach and legs and feeling the streaks of new fur. My final thought as I drift off into sleep was ”Well this is convenient, I don't need blankets to keep warm anymore..."


The sun rises and I open my eyes. I blink a few times and remember our current situation. Time to find a mirror and see what else changed for us overnight. I roll a bit to one side and slide off the bed, landing a few feet away from the large mirror that I had used last night.

I wearily turn up my head to get a look of myself in the mirror. An image of myself comes into view and my heart stops. I had expected even more fur, maybe hooves for hands, maybe a full pony face. Well, I had all of the above, plus more. Plus a lot more.

Reflected in the mirror was a pony. There literally wasn't an ounce of human left in me. I gazed into the mirror and Dash herself returned the gaze.

I slowly find a way to balance on four hooves and then I look back up at the reflection. I don’t even know what to do, I just stare at my body. My fully developed wings flutter and I lift a leg to check if the reflection does the same. The pony in the mirror matches my movements. This really was my body.

I open my mouth “Hello, Rainbow Dash.”

Oh boy, this was bizarre. This was bizarre beyond the definition of the word bizarre. I turn my head from side to side, inspecting Dash's pony snout and cuddly cheeks. “She's even more cute in person than she was in the show” I mutter as I slowly turn my long body and check out my flanks. The cutie mark that started this whole thing was as prevalent as ever, finally looking at home plastered across my entire flank. I look back at the mirror and am just at a loss for words. My mane looked nothing short of amazing, I mean, I had the same mane yesterday but it just looked so at home here trailing down my neck alongside my full coat of cyan fur. My old friend, my tail, was also there, happily flicking back and forth every few seconds as I twisted in place to get a better look at myself in the mirror. Everything about the pony in the reflection just looked jaw droppingly amazing. And this was me?

I don’t know how long I stood there, but it was well over five minutes of me just gazing into that mirror, admiring every hair on Rainbow Dash.... ‘Who I now am’. The thought fluttered across my mind and sent a shiver all the way down my spine and out my tail. It was really bizarre to realize that image in the mirror was me.

I stared back into the mirror. I loved every part of the body I saw, not in a purely sexual way, but more like the way that a kid feels when he sees a sports car up close. I was just in awe at the sight before my eyes. I slowly tear my eyes away from the pony in the mirror. I then turn my head back to look behind me, noticing that I was able to turn my neck much further back than I was used to be able to. Looking behind me was a pretty transcendent experience, if I looked down and back I could see where my neck connected to my body, and then my long, cyan colored body spread out behind me, ending in the splash of color that was my tail. I felt light headed for a second so I closed my eyes. Seeing this pony in the mirror was weird enough, but seeing this alien body spread out underneath my own neck was even stranger, stuff like this could drive a person to lose their mind.

I opened my eyes back up and looked back around the room, I was pretty low to the ground, my eyes being at about bed level. My field of view was also slightly distorted, I could see a lot more to the sides than I was used to, it was like someone turned on ‘wide screen’ in real life. I turned back to the mirror to see a surprised looking Rainbow Dash still there. I laugh to myself “This was going to take some getting used to.”

I start moving a few limbs as I stare in the mirror, getting a feel for what muscles moved what parts of me. My wings were easily the hardest part to understand. I kind of expected I would control them like I used to control my hands, but that wasn’t the case at all. The wings were connected to my spine so unfolding and moving my wings felt like stretching a kink in my back. It was not intuitive at all, but hopefully it got easier with time.

I took a deep breath. I could stand in front of this mirror forever, but I should probably see if the others were awake. Hmm, that's going to involve walking, this should be interesting. I look down at my hooves and start trying to walk. Front left leg, then back right leg, then front right leg, now back left leg, then front right? No, no, front left comes next, then-- “Oh fuck” I lose my balance on fall over.

I bite my lip and look back, I made it about 1 meter before falling down. “So, this sucks.” I announce to the room and just lay there for a moment. I take another deep breath and get back up, I look back down at my hooves and try it again, making it about four more steps before I walk into the wall and hit my head on it with a loud 'thunk'

“Son of a...” I stumble back half a step and and sit on my haunches so I can rub my forehead with a hoof. “Ow, that freakan hurt! Stupid wall, can't it see I'm trying to learn how to walk here?”. I shook my head clear and got back on all fours. Sight was clearly a problem, I was used to being a human and keeping my vision perpendicular to my spine, but as a pony that doesn't work, I need to stretch my neck straight “up” so my eyes were actually facing forward. I do so easy enough, surprised my neck feels this comfortable while it's stretched 'forward' like this. Only problem was, now I couldn't watch my hoofsteps. I turn my head so I'm facing the door and once again slowly try walking, only this time I’m doing it blind. Walking without looking at my hooves was extremely hard and took every bit of mental focus I had. I scrunch my face in concentration and slowly go through the order of the steps I should make.

It works? Kinda? I stumble every few steps but at least I'm moving forward. After several agonizing seconds of pure concentration it starts to get a little easier as my nerves learn the pattern. The more steps I take, the less I have to focus on my legs, it's slowly becoming an automatic process. I can practically feel the back of my brain furiously rewiring itself to learn this muscle pattern and file it away under “WALKING”. I make it to the hallway and just walk back a forth a dozen times or so. Up and down the hallways, back and forth. My muscles are still getting the feel for it and brain works to memorize the pattern. I still stumble every dozen steps or so, but after a good five, ten minutes of walking laps I now no longer have to think about my muscles. Just like when I was a human, walking down a hallway had become a fully automatic process. Good work brain!

Right, so it only took me ten minutes to learn something that a 1 year old baby is expected to have mastered. Something tells me that running, and for that matter, flying is going to be really hard to get the hang of. Right well, baby steps, it's not everyday you wake up as a quadruped right?

I slowly trot towards the kitchen. ”Hehe, trot” I laugh to myself, enjoying the textbook 'clip clop' noise of hooves that for tens of thousands of years has announced to humans “make way, equine approaching!”

I'm still grinning ear to ear at the craziness of the situation when I turn the corner to the kitchen. I was not the first one awake, in the middle of the kitchen sat Big Mac. He looks up at me with serious eyes.

I stop and wave a hoof “Hey Evan! Good morning! It's me, Dash!”

“No shit” Evan grimaces.

I sit back on my haunches, which was totally my new favorite pose. Such a comfortable, and very pony-like way to sit. I stare back at Evan “Hey, who shat in your cereal?”

Evan cocks an eyebrow at me “Woke up; am horse. Pretty sure I have a right to be upset.”

I stick out my tongue “No, you’re not a horse, you’re a pony. Big difference my friend.”

“Sure thing buddy.” Evan rolls his eyes, then looks back at me as I sit there grinning like an idiot. “And pray tell me, what are you smiling about?”

I get up and trot in a circle around him “I just learned how to walk on four legs! I was pretty excited about that to be honest. And dude, look at me! Look!”

Evan remains deadpan “Yes I see, you are a pony.”

“Dude, I look awesome! I'm Rainbow Dash, look at these wings!” I turn to side and spread out my left wing. “And my awesome mane, and this tail looks great on me, and--”

Evan raises an eyebrow “Tell me, are you just that obsessed with that character, or is Dash just normally that self absorbed in herself?”

I blink for a second and sit back on my haunches “Huh. Never thought about that. I mean, to be honest, it’s both...”

Evan smiles for the first time that morning, but says nothing

I stand up and turn so my body is sideways to him, then I give my mane a shake so he can see how nicely it flows “Oh come on Evan, you think I look nice don't you?” I flash my best smile and strike a nice pose, hoping to impress him with my look.

Before Evan can respond, alarm bells go off as I realize what I was doing. 'Whoa, whoa, what the hell am I trying to do? I just wanted to show Evan I kind of liked this pony body, why was trying to impress him with my figure?!'

Just as I realize this and lower my pose, I notice Evan had raised his eyebrows. “Yeah Dash, you uh... you look good. For a pony I mean.” He smirks slightly and turns his head away.

I scold myself for coming onto him like that. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, though I also note that was the first time he actually called me Dash. He always insisted on calling me Dave, but right there he didn’t. Well that's good, I hated my old name to be honest. What kind of parent names their kid "Dave?" I mean seriously, it sounds like a name for a 40 year old man, I always hated it growing up.

Somewhat eager to change the subject I take a deep breath and clear my throat. “So, um, is your sister up yet?”

Evan turned back towards me. “Hell if I know, I just got up, stumbled my way in here, and tried getting breakfast. The whole 'I don't have hands anymore' thing kind of hurts the team though.” Evan frowned as he waved his front hooves in the air. “I was just thinking about how fucked we all are, and that's when I turned and saw you coming in here smiling like it's Christmas morning”

I tilted my head in understanding “Ah, yeah, I can see why you might be upset.”

Evan stood up and walked to the patio door “I'm not upset, just a little depressed I guess.”

“Well cheer up buddy, we're all in this together.” Evan doesn't seem to be paying attention though, as he reaches up with his mouth and grabs the patio door handle, pulling down and opening the door to the outside. I continue speaking “We'll figure this out Evan, we'll make some breakfast, wake up AJ, then call Fiona and have her... Evan? Evan what are you doing?” Evan had went outside and stepped onto the damp morning grass. He poked at the earth with a hoof a few times and was now flat on his back, rolling around back and forth on the grass.

Evan didn't stop rolling “This feels nice. You know, I always saw the horses do it, now I know why. It feels so great to scratch your back under your fur”

I blink “Umm, right. So like I was saying. Breakfast?”

Evan rolls back over and returns to standing on all fours “Don't bother, not for me anyway. I'm going for a run.”

I raise a hoof in protest. “A run?! Dude, Evan you can barely trot!”

Evan rubs his hoof on the earth, smiling as he does so “I'll figure it out. Running free across this field right now, that's what's on my mind. This is going to be great.” Evan stops pawing at the earth and trots in a circle, tripping over himself a few times as he does it. “Wake Jack up, I'll be back from this run in an hour. When I get back we can deal with the Fiona situation.”

I learn back on the door, amused at how Evan was acting. He was the last person I suspected would succumb to the ‘call of the wild’ for ponies and feel the need to run across a field. “And... what about breakfast Evan? I thought you said you were hungry?”

Evan looks back at me, smiling wider than I had seen him smile since this whole thing started. “I'll get some on my run.”

I open my mouth about to ask what he meant, but he already turned tail and ran. Literally. Well okay, the turn tail part was literal, not so much the ‘run’ part. He was certainly trying though, he was stumbling away at a fast canter. Well whatever, he'll figure it out. Time to wake up Jack.

I moved back into the house and closed the door behind me, impressed with my ability to close a door using my mouth. It was surprisingly easy, well, if you ignore the fact that you have to put a door handle in your mouth. I tried to ignore the salty flavor of old human hand sweat on my tongue as I trot into hallway and made my way down towards AJ's room. Hopefully she was still asleep, this could be funny.

I get to the room and find the door slightly ajar so I push it open with my snout. The sound of light snoring came from the bed, and I look up to see AJ sound asleep under her covers. Oh god, this was perfect! What to do? Hmm, ah I know. Hehe, let's go with a classic.

I trot over to her bedside and stand up on my back two hooves as I learn forward and hold onto her bed. Standing on two hooves was hard, but I could do it for a few seconds if I needed to. I reach down and grab her blanket between two hooves, then take a deep breath.

I suddenly pull back on her blanket and then reach up to shake her shoulders. Jack awakes with a start and opens her eyes wide. I flail my pony arms in the air and yell loudly “COME ON APPLEJACK!! CIDER SEASON IS ABOUT TO START!!”

Jack leans away in shock and stares, half awake, half asleep, and 100% confused. “But... no... that's Fluttershy, not Applejack... why would Dash come to Applejack's house... Wait. This isn’t...”

Jack's eyes focus on me as I hop on onto her bed and stand up on all fours, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Realization sets in on my friend and I see the blood start to drain from her new adorable pony face. I give her a wink “Up and at 'em Applejack. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.”

I reach down and grab the remaining blanket in my teeth, then jerk my neck upwards, flinging the blanket clean off the bed and fully exposing her pony body.

Jack looks down and spasms, trying to stand up and make sense of things. Her legs flail uselessly and her front hoof gets caught on a pillow.

“Ah~~the fuuuuuuck” Jack yells out in a nonsensical manner and her body spasms again as she once again tries to stand but fails. She ends up twisting over herself and falling out of bed in a confused fashion.

“Who's a silly pony? You’re a silly pony! Who is? You is!” I laugh so hard my eyes are watering as I fall on my side and roll around on her bed.

“Urgh, very funny Dash” I hear coming from the heap of blankets and orange limbs at the base of the bed.

In one smooth motion I flip from lying on back to standing up on my hooves. I then hop down off the bed and shake my mane to get my hair back in place, catching my reflection in the mirror as I do so. I smile and shake my mane again, god damn I loved this body, everything was starting to feel so natural.

I trot back over to the pile of blankets feeling particularly smug that I mastered all the muscles necessary to do all this while Applejack here didn't even know how to stand. I talk to the blankets and orange fur “But no, seriously now Applejack. You're 100% pony as of this morning.” I pause to let that sink in “It’s going to take a few minutes for you to learn to walk and such, but it works.”

AJ's head pokes up and stares at the mirror on the wal l“Well, can't say we didn't see this coming... but still.”

I nod “Yep, I know that feeling sister. Well I'll let you learn how to stand, when you're ready come to the kitchen, I'll get some grub ready.”

I make my way towards the door but stop as Jack calls out “Hey Dash.”

I stop and do a twirl in place so I’m facing Jack again. “Yeah?”

Jack was looking at me and smiling “You look good, I like that look for you”

I grin ear to ear “THANK YOU. Your brother was confused when I asked him the same question. Yes I’m quite fond of it myself, I have only had this body for like fifteen minutes and I already love it. Anyway, you look good yourself, now hurry up and teach yourself how to walk so you can join me for breakfast.”


I wasn't much of a cook as a human. Now that I no longer had hands, my cooking level had sunk into numbers usually reserved for the national debt. A full ten minutes in the kitchen and all I managed to do was rip open a bag of alfalfa with my teeth, which resulted in the dried green pellets scattering across the entire kitchen floor. I then tried to pour some into a bowl but the bag slipped so even more pellets fell on the floor.

It was around this time that I learned there were many human activities that a pony could do if it tried hard enough, but using a broom and dustpan to sweep the floor was not one of those things. I mean really, there just wasn't in any way possible to properly clean the floor as a pony.

So, I did the only option left, and proceeded to just act like a dog and clean the floor with my mouth by eating everything that spilled. Granted, the fact that I had to lick the floor in order to get the food was a bit degrading, but it was worth it, this alfalfa was fucking tasty.

I was about two thirds done when I heard a snickering and turn to see Applejack standing in the door frame facing me. I had to admit, even after all the other events of this morning it was still a bit surreal to actually see Applejack in the real world, but 'lo and behold, there she was.

“You know, we own bowls” Jack says as she trots into the kitchen, still slightly unsure of her footing, but doing a better job at it than Evan had.

I look up from eating off the floor “Har har, very funny AJ. Next time I’ll let you be the one who tries to pour food using hooves”

“Who said anything about pouring?” Jack says as she arrives at the counter, grabs a bowl in her mouth, and then sticks her head in the open bag, using the bowl as a scoop to obtain the food. She pulls her head out of the bag and carefully sets the bowl on the table.

I roll my eyes “pfft, whatever, my method works too.”

Jack laughs to herself as she goes to the counter and grabs a spoon in her mouth and returns to the table. I stare at her and now it was my turn to laugh “Tell me AJ, how do you plan to use the spoon?”

Jack sticks her tongue out at me “Easy, look I can hold the spoon in my mouth and use it to pick up the food...”

I lean back on my haunches and cross my front legs across my chest as I smile sarcastically “And then...?”

Jack sits there for a second thinking. The other end of the spoon was full of food, but there in lies the problem. She was holding the handle of the spoon in her mouth just fine, but she needs her mouth to be the receptacle for the food... so she has to let go of the handle to... “Gah, screw this!” Jack exclaims as she gives up, spitting the spoon out onto the table. I look on with strange curiosity as Jack just shoves her whole muzzle deep into the bowl and forces the food into her mouth, not unlike watching a feral beast eat in the wild.

A moment of sadness comes over me and I pause for a moment to mourn our loss of humanity. I bite my lip for a moment, before shrugging my shoulders and going back to eating off the floor. No sense crying over that which we cannot change, we’re ponies now, we might as well act the part.

A few minutes later and I finish cleaning the floor with my muzzle. Jack was also done with her second bowl of alfalfa, turns out you can eat extremely quickly when you ignore all pretense for human rules and just shove your face into your bowl of food.

I look up to see Jack licking her muzzle and trying get the last of the greens off it. She got most of them but there was still a smear of green on her cheek.

“AJ, you missed a spot” I gesture with a hoof at my cheek.

“Where... here?” Jack points to the completely wrong side of her face. I laugh, I don’t know why I expected her to actually hit the right spot, some law of the universe dictates that it’s impossible to accurately tell someone what part of their face has a smudge.

“What’s so funny? Did I get it? Is it here?” Jack is still poking around the wrong half of her face.

I trot over to her “No, no, it’s on the other side. No, over here, next to...” I smile as AJ is still wildly off from the mark.

Acting without really thinking I reach up and grab her hoof “AJ, stop. Let me.” I lean forward and lick the side of her face, dragging my tongue against the spot and wiping it clean. I clean the spot and smile, only to immediately realize how inappropriate my action was. I quickly lean back and apologize “Oh, hey, yeah sorry about that. I uh....Well I got the spot!”

Jack’s cheeks are red and her eyes are wide. I give out a nervous laugh as I slowly back away from the blushing pony who speaks up “Yeah, umm, that was awkward Dash. How about you warn me next time?” Jack smirks and turns to walk into the living room “So... how are things around here? Evan awake yet?”

“Yeah, he went out for a run” I say as I follow Jack into the living room, desperately trying to get my open wings to fold back against my body.

“Wait, he did what?” Jack turns, amusement in her voice.

I laugh “Yeah, poor guy was all depressed about waking up as a pony, but then looked outside and was all like ‘I feel the need, the need for speed!’ and told me he wanted to run around in the fields and feel the wind in his mane and all that good stuff..”

Jack raised her eyebrows, still smiling “That’s... amusing to say the least. I figured Evan would hate his new body”

I nodded as I walked up to AJ’s side “Oh I’m pretty sure he does. That’s what he said in the kitchen anyway. He seemed to fancy the idea of running though... but since you bring it up, how do you like your new body?”

Jack scrunched her up face as she thought for a moment, then turned her head back and looked at her flank. “It’s pretty nice actually. Not that I would have picked AJ if I had the choice, but still, I do feel pretty snug and comfortable. Not to mention I feel like I’m in really good shape. I’m pretty sure I can outrun a car and then kick over a brick wall, it’s pretty amazing really”

Jack walks over to an open space and leans forward on her front legs. Then in a sudden motion she shifts her body and kicks out her back legs, giving a practice buck into the air.

I give an approving smile “Very nice, I certainly wouldn’t want to be standing behind you when you try that.”

Jack turns back around “Alright your turn, give me a Dash pose from the show.”

I laugh to myself but play along. Might as well have some fun. I lean forward slightly and spread out my wings while looking left and flicking my tail to the side, mimicking a common dash vector from the show.

Jack claps her hooves together “Haha, that’s perfect. My turn!”

We continue doing a few more rounds of this, laughing heartily at every silly pose. We both knew we should probably be more serious about this whole thing, but there would be plenty of time to be serious later, right now we were two friends just trying to make the most of our situation. Besides, we had a limited window. Once Evan got back from his run, things would be more serious. We only had like half an hour to goof off so we might as well use it.

After another good Applejack pose Jack turns back to me “Alright, alright, your turn again, give me a good one!” Jack grinned, eager to see what I could come up with.

I scratched my chin trying to think of a famous Dash pose that I haven’t tried yet. Oh. Oh ho ho, I got one. I got a good one. “Alright Jack, stand over there, gotta get the angle right.”

Alright let’s see here. Front legs stretched out in front. Hind legs up. Butt raised really high. Wings open and straight up. Eyebrows slightly raised. Eyelids half down. And... seductive scrunchy face to finish it off! Perfect!

I hold the position and await AJ’s response. Usually she is laughing or clapping her hooves by now, but I hear nothing coming from her. I drop the pose and look up at her, she's staring at me like a deer in the headlights.

I speak up “Oh come on, don't you recognize it? It’s the classic ‘I want to cu--’”

Jack cuts me off “I know! I know what it's from!" She gets up and walks in a circle around in "It's just, Jesus, you can't go around making that pose Dash, I mean, wow."

I smile coyly at her "What's the matter AJ, afraid you might see something you like?"

Jack smirks back at me "Easy there lover boy, just because some of us were cloppers doesn't mean we all are. And besides, even if I was into that sort of thing, come on Dash, you're my best friend! I would prefer not to do something with you that I would regret.

I trot over and look at her, I knew she was right. "Yeah, you have a good point Jack. But we can still hug right?"

Jack smiles and we both reach out to hug each other, but then we both fall over from the inherent instability of trying to stand on two hooves.

We burst out laughing and remain of the floor for a few minutes. This was nice, just hanging around with Jack-as-Applejack. I could get used to this.

“Hey Dash? You know what I'm thinking?” Jack turns slightly to face me as I rub her back with my hoof.

"Hehe, yeah, I know what you're thinking..." I smile, I bet she was thinking the same thing I was thinking! I bet she was going to tell me how she was happy like this, and that she was glad that this whole thing happened!

Jack opens her mouth “Good. We should go clean the dishes before Evan gets back."

My ears drop. "What?"

Jack repeats herself “Yeah, Evan is going to be here any second. We should clean the mess we made in the kitchen”

I roll my eyes. I thought we connected back there. Urgh, maybe next time.

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