• Published 3rd Apr 2013
  • 37,266 Views, 6,994 Comments

Five Score, Divided by Four - TwistedSpectrum

As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right?

  • ...

15. Hey, this is useful.

Chapter 15: Hey, this is useful.

I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and nervously inspect myself in the mirror. Tom is going to be here any minute, and I wanna look good. I normally would be applying some makeup, but it just didn’t feel right at the moment. Besides, I wouldn’t even know what kind of makeup to use to match my white fur and blue mane. Hmm, speaking of which, I should probably comb this. I grab my hair brush and bring it to my hair, then pause for a moment. My hair appears to be naturally growing to match Shining’s hairstyle. Should I try to comb something different? Nah, I guess this works.

I anxiously walk to the living room, running over what I’m going to say to Tom in my head. Should I bring up his tail? Should I show him mine? Hmm, I look around to see Tess still skimming over her notes on her table and Harry eating candy from our pantry. I clear my throat to get their attention, “Hey, fashion question guys: Tail in, or tail out?” I alternate holding my tail off to the side, then hiding it behind me. I repeat myself, “Show the tail... hide the tail... show the tail?”

Harry, who has his tail out in the open, questions the absurdity of my entire question. “Let me get this straight Rachel, not only are you treating your tail as a fashion accessory, but you’re asking us if we think showing it off will increase your chances of getting laid tonight?”

I blush, “What?! Come on Harry... don’t bring Tom into this. I just wanna know what looks better! I’m not exactly used to having a tail, I’m wondering what I should be doing with this thing as we go forward.”

Harry laughs to himself, “Well, for what it’s worth, I keep mine out. It’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than sitting on it.”

I turn to my sister, “What about you Tess? I see you have yours hidden pretty well.”

She snorts, “I’m not swatting at flies, so yes, I keep it tucked away.”

I tilt my head, “Uh, what?”

She sighs, “Horses, ponies, they mostly use their tails to brush away flies that sit on them and bite their legs. Since I obviously don’t have that issue, I don’t need this tail, and since I don’t need it I keep it tucked away.”

I roll my eyes, “Come on Tess, quit being such a pragmatist. You said it yourself, our bodies are changing more and more by the minute, we sort of need to adapt and roll with these changes as they come. Covering them all up because ‘we don’t need them’ isn’t the answer here.”

“I’m more worried about trying to halt or reverse these changes than I am about aesthetics, sorry Rachel. ”

I prepare a remark but a doorbell cuts across our conversation.

“I got it!” I yell as I sprint down the hall, awkwardly aware of the feel of my tail flowing freely behind me.

I fling the door open, without even bothering to look in the peephole to see who is there. I can only imagine how awkward it would have been if the mailman was here, but thankfully the door opens to show Tom. I have to admit though, it’s actually kind of hard to recognize him.

“Hi Tom!” I say exuberantly.

My coworker’s face is topped by a pair of white pony ears not unlike mine. His ears provide the benefit of providing a jaw dropping contrast to the dark violet mane that covers half his of face. As much as I dislike our pony anatomy, I can’t help but realize Tom looks more beautiful than ever. Behind his gorgeous appearance though, he looks slightly confused. “Uh... Rachel? Wow, you look different. Can I come in?”

I open the door wider to let him in. Tom walks in slowly, worry showing on his face. I certainly understand his worried aura, but I was kind of hoping he would be in a good mood when he got here. Hmm, I’ll just have to compliment him or something. “Hey Tom, nice tail!”

I wince, that probably isn’t the best thing to compliment. Tom slowly turns back to look at me. “Uh thanks? I just got it...”

I feel hot under the collar, “Ah, yeah, same with me. I suppose that’s why you’re here.”

“Mmhmm.” Tom nods and slowly smiles, “I’m really glad you called me, Rachel. I was worried sick when I was by myself. Great to see I’m not alone here, do you know what caused all of this? Know how to cure it?”

I turn to face him, then point behind me with a thumb, gesturing down the long hallways towards the living room, “We’re working on it. Let’s go meet the others.”

“Hi, I’m Harry!” The pink haired stoner suddenly shakes the hand of Tom.

I whip back around to see Harry standing right beside me. “Harry, what? How? Where the hell did you come from?”

Harry looks at me and shrugs, “I was right behind you.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Right... anyway, Tom, come meet my sister, she’s the one trying to figure this all out.”

We make our way to the living room and Tess doesn’t even look up from her notes as we stop beside her. I clear my throat and she finally tears her eyes off the page.

Before I can introduce them, Tom extends out his hand and smiles, “You must be Rachel’s sister, I don’t think we have had the pleasure of meeting before.”

Tess smiles back and shakes his hand, “Oh, hey Tom, my sister speaks very fondly of you.”

As they shake hands Tom studies my sister’s face, “I don’t think Rachel told me your name, but maybe she did... it’s Tee-S I think?”

My sister tilts her head, “Err, close, it’s Tess.”

I dart my eyes between them. I never did tell Tom my sister’s name, but “Tee S.” sounds an awfully lot like initials--

“You a pony fan Tom?” Harry finished my thought for me.

Tom looks at him, “Ponies? What, no. I lived in a city all my life, I’ve never even seen a horse in person before, well until I saw myself with these ears I guess.”

I cross my arms, “Tom, Harry was talking about the show, My Little Pony. You ever watch it?”

Tom stares at me, “That kid’s show? No, never seen it. I’ve heard of it, obviously. Um, excuse me for asking, but what does this have to do with anything? I mean, are the toys related to us growing these tails and ears? What is this, a publicity stunt?”

I shake my head, “A publicity stunt? I don’t think so seeing as how we’re all hiding and fearing for our lives. We’re not really walking around in public.”

Tom shrugs, “Maybe it’s a private publicity stunt?”

Harry squints, “A private publicity stunt? Seriously bro? What is this, Rat Race?”

Tess cuts everyone off, ”Tom, to get back to the point, we are still trying to figure what exactly caused all this. The connection to the TV show seems quite silly, but I have to admit there are some... interesting connections between us and that pony cartoon.”

Tom looks between us, “Oh? Like what?”

Harry pats him on the back, “Tom, I think it’s time you sat down and watched some cartoons with us.”


We are about four episodes in when suddenly a new voice chimes in from behind us. “I don’t see how you can seriously enjoy watching this, the plot is incredibly predictable.” I look back to see Tess leaning against the back wall.

Tom nods slowly, “Yeah, I know what you mean, in the last episode I knew Twilight was going to get enough Gala Tickets for all of her friends to get one. Don’t get me wrong, this is a pretty good show, but it’s still a kid’s show. Not exactly that hard to predict the plot.”

Tess laughs, “It’s not just easy to predict the plot, it’s totally obvious. Take this episode for example. We have Pinkie here saying she can predict the future, well it’s blatantly obvious how the episode will end. Pinkie will say they have to go to the swamp, and then they find a Hydra and all run away from it. In the end I bet Twilight finally believes Pinkie.”

Harry, Tom, and I all turn to stare at Tess. Harry speaks up, “Well if you’ve seen this episode before, of course you can ‘predict it’, sheesh.”

Tess laughs, “I’ve never seen this one Harry. Wait, you’re telling me what I said is the actual plot? Haha, wow, I told you it’s predictable. I mean come on, the old ‘follow the pink pony to the swamp and find a hydra’ story is really overdone. Pretty sure every little girl who has ever played with pony toys has acted out that story. It’s a classic.”

Harry and I exchange glances as we both start thinking the same thing. I continue looking at Harry as I speak to Tess, “Okay, let’s say there is an episode with the blue pegasus trying to choose a new pet. How would that one end?”

Tess yawns, “She would choose a turtle, probably after it saves her life or something during the pet selection process.”

Harry, still staring at me, follows my lead. “Tess, how would a story end that starts out with Twilight’s brother about to get married?”

She laughs “Come on, way too easy! The bride is a monster in disguise. These are like the most classic of all story tropes, literally everyone knows these.”

Tom, utterly confused here, looks around at us. “Uh. I don’t know that one...”

I ignore him for the time being, trying to make my questions a little bit harder, “Tess, an athletic blue pegasus, when would she learn she loves reading?”

“When she’s in the hospital with a broken wing. Wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up breaking back into the hospital once she is released because she wants to finish a book she started. I mean, come on, how can you not predict this?”

Harry gives it one more shot, “Tess, one more with blue pegasus, she saves some ponies and her friends start to worry about her ego. Then a masked figure goes around and steals all her thunder. Who is the masked figure?”

I roll my eyes, that one is actually pretty obvious one. Tom could probably even figure that one out, no way we would be able to stump her with--

“Huh, I don’t know.” Tess scratches her head, “It’s not clicking like the other ones. Must not be a common story trope I guess.”

I’m surprised, but actually slightly relieved that Tess didn’t know that one. Her predictions were starting to get creepy. Harry just laughs, “Gotta love Mare Do Well, so out of place that not even Tess can logic it out.”


I yawn and make my way to the bathroom, I check my watch, it’s 5pm, we’ve been watching ponies for the past several hours. Tess left the living room and went back to her study, looking up god knows what. At least Tom is content with the ponies though, he seems to be enjoying the show.

I do my business in the bathroom and then go to the sink to splash water on my face. Urgh, is this a pimple? I rub my fingers over it, Jesus, this is quite the pimple. A really dense bump right in the center of my forehead--

I freeze, suddenly realizing what this might be. I slowly look up in the mirror and look at my forehead. Sure enough, I have a marble sized nub protruding right at the center of my forehead. I scratch it with my fingernail. I don’t think it’s covered in skin, but it’s pretty sensitive to touch. I sigh, not exactly looking forward to even more pony parts sprouting off my body. Well, only one way to confirm if that’s what it is, let’s see if Tess has one.

I arrange my hair so my proto-horn is covered, then I leave the bathroom and head off to find Tess. She isn’t at her desk, but I soon find her in the computer room checking something online. Hmm, I need a reason to walk up to her. I go to the kitchen and grab two apples, then return to her computer room and walk up to her while eating one of them, “Hey Tess, apple?”

“Hmm?” She turns to look at me and her bangs slowly shift to reveal her horn. My eyes go wide, her horn is much more pronounced than mine. I suppose this made sense, as always she experiences the changes slightly before I do. Her horn is “only” the size of a baby carrot, but seeing as how she normally doesn’t have one, it looks positively massive. I just stare at it for a few seconds as my chin trembles. Seeing equine ears and a tail is one thing, but actually seeing a unicorn horn in person is like a slap to the face of everything you have ever learned. This was not just some animal parts, this was straight out of a world of fantasy.

She waves a hand in front of my face to get my attention, “Rachel? I said yes.”

I snap out of my thoughts, “Oh, sorry, here you go.” I drop the apple on the desk and debate if I should inform my dear sister that she has a mythical bone jutting out of her skull.

Tess turns back to the computer screen, “Oh, and since you’re here, can you pass me my USB flash drive? It’s on my keychain.”

I look around me, spotting her key chain on the table behind her. I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to just tell my sister she has a horn, I mean, kind of an awkward thing to say out of the blue. I grab her keychain and... wait a second. A smile forms across my face, “Oh here you go Tess.”

She finishes reading something then turns to face me, “Right, thanks for--”


I treat her horn like a key rack and hang her keychain on it.

Tess blinks for a second, then goes cross-eyed trying to focus on the keychain dangling off her forehead. Confused, she brings up her hand to grab the thing off her face. Once her finger grab hold of it, on reflex she pulls her hand away from her head, in a downward direction.


She pulls on the keychain, which in turn tugs on the horn and pulls her entire head down, smacking her head on the keyboard. “Ow, what the fu--”

I can’t hear the rest of her words, I’m laughing too hard, this is the greatest thing to happen since ever. I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes and look up, Tess is rubbing her cheek where her face hit the keyboard. With her other hand she carefully pulls the keychain off her horn, then feels her new bone.

“Urgh, this is what I think it is, isn’t it?”

I rub the back of my neck, “Yeah, congratulations, you now belong to a race that previously only existed in fairy tales.”

Tess makes a strange face, “Do you have one too?”

I nod, “I think so, but it’s not as large as yours.”

My sister turns the desk lamp so it shines in my face to give her a better view. “Brother, yeah you definitely have one. I can’t believe I didn’t feel it break my skin as it grew, must have done it really gradually. I wonder if Tom has one yet.”

I ignore most of her dialog as I am still hung up on the first word she said. I bite my tongue, I know the name slips are increasing in frequency around here, but the wrong gender pronoun is not something I want to hear.

I try and push it out of my mind so I think about other things, “Well, your horn has grown more than mine, can you do any magic yet?”

Tess returns me a neutral expression, “Magic? You think these let us do magic? I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.”

I roll my eyes, “Tess, let me explain something to you.” I pause to clear my throat, “WE’RE TURNING INTO CARTOON PONIES! So I’m pretty sure we can stop assuming that things like magic aren’t real. I mean come on Twilight, you even have a cutie mark that signifies magic.”

Tess purses her lips, “Don’t call me Twilight.”

My ears lie forward in aggression as I feel a flash of annoyance, this whole crazy pony situation really has me on edge. Not only that, she just called me the wrong gender and I didn’t say anything, why can’t she let me slip and call her a different name? "Look, sis, you’re a purple eyed UNICORN with Twilight’s cutie mark, mane, and tail. I should get to call you Twilight if I want!”

Tess turns back to the computer, “No, you shouldn’t. It’s not my name.”

I grit my teeth, “You don’t get to decide... Actually, you know what?” I pause and take a deep breath to calm myself, “Let’s make a bet. If I do magic, if I prove magic is real, then I get to call you Twilight.”

Tess thinks for a moment, about to point out how one sided this bet is, but she also reasons she has no chance of losing so it doesn’t really matter. She waves her arm at me, “Fine, whatever. Good luck with that, let me know when you get accepted to Hogwarts.”

I scowl and leave to go back to living room. Tom is half asleep on the sofa and the pink haired one is watching some episodes from Season 4. “Harry. Kitchen, me, you, now.”

He looks up at me and points at the TV, “But... ponies.”

I turn and start walking to the kitchen, “They’ll be there when we get back, now come on, I need your help with something.”

He groans but gets up and follows me. I flick on the bright overhead lights as we get there, then turn to face him, “Harry, what do you know about magic?”

He snickers, “Uh, nothing? I mean, I know it’s magic and stuff. You’re asking me about this why?”

I part my bangs to show my forehead, “Well, I got one of these now...”

His expression changes before my eyes, “Is that... wow, can I touch it?”

I shrug, “Sure thing.”

He reaches up and grabs it with his right hand. “Oh wow, it’s so smooth, and hard, and strong...”

I start to get goosebumps, “Uh, okay, crossed the line into creepyville.” I bat Harry’s hand away. “Focus Harry, how can I use this thing to cast magic?”

He throws his hands up in the air, “How the heck should I know? You’re the unicorn!”

I rub my forehead, acutely aware of the growing protrusion. “Look, we gotta figure this out, I sort of made a bet with Tess.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Oh? Well what’s in it for me?”

“If I prove to Tess magic is real, I get to call her Twilight.”

His ears perk up and a grin breaks out across his face, “Why didn’t you say so earlier? You now have my full attention, this is going to be the greatest thing that has ever happened!”

I pause, “Wait, are you referring to being able to call Tess Twilight, or me breaking every rule of physics and actually doing magic?”

Harry waves a hand, “Huh? Oh, I’m just talking about the Tess thing, you gaining god like powers and casting spells or whatever doesn’t really concern me. But calling Tess Twilight? Now that’s something worth working towards!”

I chuckle, “Alright, let’s think here. If I can do magic it’s going to follow the rules seen in the show, right?”

Harry nods, “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.”

“Well, between the two of us we probably know every single bit of every episode. So, let’s brainstorm here, how do the ponies learn how to use magic?”

He scratches his head, “Let’s think here, Twilight seems to be able to copy any magic that she sees done in person. She’s like a blue mage in that respect I guess. But other than that, all new magic they do seems to be something they read and learn from books.”

I drum my fingers on the table in frustration, “Oh great, so I just need to find a book of pony spells, or find another unicorn on Earth to show me how it’s done.”

Harry laughs, “Well come on now, obviously someone in Equestria had to create the first spells before they wrote them down or shared them with people. So that suggests it is possible to learn magic on your own.”

I shake my head, “I don’t even know where to start. Heck, I don’t even know if my horn is large enough to cast spells.”

He taps his chin, “Hmm, well your horn looks to be about as large as Pumpkin Cake’s is in that babysitting episode. And she did magic then, so you should be able to do it as well, it’s just a matter of knowing how to do it.”

I blink, “Wait... how did Pumpkin Cake learn how to do her first bits of magic?”

Harry thinks for a second, “Hmm, let’s see, she was reaching for something through the bars of her crib. But couldn’t reach it so she tried harder, and harder, and then it just sort of happened. Boom, telekinesis.”

I exchange looks with Harry. We are both thinking the same thing.


Tom wakes up from his nap to hear screaming coming from the kitchen. It was 7pm and he yawns and makes his way to the source of the noise.

“Come on, do you even want this? Do you want this!?” Harry yells at me, waving an ice cream sandwich a foot away from my face.

“Give... give me that. I want it!” I twist my shoulders in a vain attempt to grab the frozen treat. My arms are literally chained to my refrigerator using bike locks.

Tom takes in the scene, “Did I come in at a bad time?”

I glance over at him, blowing my mane out of my eyes, “Tom, we are trying to replicate the scene where Pumpkin Cake wants something but can’t reach it. We think it will teach me how to use telekinesis.”

Tom’s face remains neutral, “Right... Well, um, I’m just gonna go back to the living room...”

I want to explain further to Tom but Harry gently slaps my face, “Focus Rachel. Do you even want this ice cream? Come on!”

I grunt and try to focus on grabbing it with imaginary arms or something, but it’s no use, I just struggle uselessly.

Harry frowns, “Come on, even Pumpkin Cake could have gotten this by now, and she’s a girl! What kind of man gets beaten by a girl?”

I grit my teeth, “I am a girl, asshole.”

Harry blinks, “Oh, right.” A slow smile crosses his face. “You know what Rachel? You just gave me an idea...”

I feel a sense of concern, “Harry, what are you planning?”

“You’ll thank me when this is all over.” He sets the ice cream bar on the counter and disappears for a moment.

My forehead creases with worry, I didn’t like the sound of this. Not like I have a choice though, I literally can’t move my arms. I have no choice but to just wait, and a minute later Harry returns carrying a box. Wait a second, is that what I think it is? That’s the box from my birthday party...

He half grins as he sets the box on the table. “So, Rachel. It’s clear you fancy Tom. But does Tom know about your hobby?”

I start to sweat, “Harry, what are you doing.”

He opens the box, pulling the birthday present. “Oh don’t worry, nothing serious, I'm just going to show this present of yours to Tom. Show him what you got for your birthday.”

I jump forward, making the chains go taut and the refrigerator shudder at the force. “Harry! Don’t you dare.”

He shrugs, “Oh come on, I don’t see what the big deal is. People show off their birthday presents all the time.”

I can’t let this happen, Tom will think I’m a freak. I strain against the chains again, well aware that it’s no use. “Damn it Harry, give that back! Seriously!”

He waves it in front of me. “Nah, Tom needs to see it first.”

I grind my teeth, “Come on Harry, not cool man, GIVE IT BACK!!”

“Nope.” He turns around and starts walking towards the door to the living room.

No, I can’t let this happen, he’s really going to do it! “HARRY. FUCKING GIVE THAT BACK.”

He whistles and keeps walking, only a few steps left to the door now. Last chance.

I narrow my eyes and feel my ears lie flat. “I SAID--

The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “GIVE--

My vision physically zooms in on my target, and in my mind I suddenly picture and feel the complete 3D shape of the object that’s in his hand. “THAT--

I feel my brain form new connections and my forehead starts to spark “BACK!!!!” I let out a guttural yell and pull. Hard.

Harry doesn’t let go in time and gets pulled with it, falling over sideways and slamming into the floor as the birthday present slides out of his grasp. He groans, “Yeah, so, that was pretty painful”. In front of him, hovering in mid air, is the object that caused all this commotion.

I’m speechless as I look at it. Harry slowly looks up at it, and let’s out a slow whistle. “The world will note, that on this day May 2nd, 2020, magic has been cast on Earth for the first time. One small step for an adult toy, one giant leap for mankind.

I realize what I just did and I let go of everything. The purple glow around the hovering object fades away and it drops to the ground.

I can’t help but laugh in jubilation. “You know, on reflection, we probably should have used something a bit more respectable for the history books.”

Harry gets up and dusts himself off, “Nah, it wouldn’t have worked. I knew we needed to get you really desperate.” He walks behind me and unlocks the bike chain holding my arms.

The second the chain was off I throw my arms around Harry and kiss him. “We did it Harry! You’re such a genius!!”

Harry blushes and takes a step back, raising his palms to me. “Whoa, Rachel, whoa. I’m this guy called Harry, pretty sure Harry is not on kissing terms with Rachel. Your Tom is in the living room.”

I playfully punch him in the shoulder, “Oh quiet you, you taught me how to cast my first spell. Tom, as nice as he is, doesn’t share that experience with me.” I was going to bring up how he actually looks really cute with his pink hair and slightly feminine facial features, but at the last second I realize that might come across as weird. Besides, he is right, Tom is the one I’m really after. Harry might be cute and helpful, but Tom is my true dream girl. Wait, dream guy. Stupid brain.

Harry picks up the most honorable dildo and places it back in the box. “So, the real question here is can you do it again? Or will we have to chain you up everytime you want to grab something?”

I look around, spotting the ice cream sandwich still on the table. “Well, let’s find out shall we?” Now that I knew what I’m supposed to be doing, this seems really easy. I focus on the ice cream treat and feel my mind analyze it and hold it, then my brain effortlessly twitches and I see the the ice cream glow purple and lift off to hover in the air.

Harry starts a slow clap, “Bravo, I am officially jealous.”

I glance over at him and smirk, “Yep, I’d be jealous of a magic user too.”

He shrugs, “Meh, I’m just jealous that now you can eat ice cream without getting your hands cold. That’s kind of unfair.”

I laugh, “Harry, I hardly think preventing cold hands is the primary reason I wanted to cast spells.”


Tess’s typing is distracted as a Bluray box lands on top of her keyboard. Startled, she picks it up, and sets it aside, then turns around to look at me. “Rachel, don’t throw things at me, I’m trying to learn here.”

I nod, “I didn’t throw it. And besides, I know you’re trying to learn, that’s why I gave you the MLP discs.”

She rolls her eyes, “I’ve heard your theory before Rachel, and I told you it--Ow!”

"But I think I have some new information, Twilight”. The BluRay box floats next to my sister and starts to poke her in the head.

She instinctively tries to bat the intruder away from her, but soon realizes boxes don’t normally float in mid air. “Are you...” Tess does a double take at the box, then looks back at me, and back at the box. “Are you using...”

I tap my foot, “Come on, say it.”

Tess reaches up and grabs the box with both hands, trying to pull it down to her level. I clench my teeth and increase the force I’m levitating it with. I look up as I hear a small shriek and see Tess pulled off the ground as she refuses to let go and the box pulls her a few inches into the air.

I pull her in the air towards me as Tess looks around in sheer confusion. Finally I let go when she is in front of me, dropping Tess to the floor with the BluRay box still in her hand. She turns her head to see how far she traveled. I smile, “Come on, say it.”

She looks at the box in her hands, then back up at me. “Do it again.”

I roll my eyes then take a glance sideways and spot a pillow on the ground. I effortlessly lift it in the air and bring it over to Tess, then start to make it spin in midair. What can I say, I’ve spent some time practicing in the kitchen. Trust me, as soon as you learn you can do magic, it’s pretty much all you want to do in your free time.

Tess stares at the floating pillow, then slowly shakes her head and smiles. “Well, slap a horn on me and call me Twilight... well played sis.” She pauses to rub her neck, “So, umm, can you teach me?”

I drop the pillow, “Really you're not upset at seeing this?”

She looks confused, “I’m witnessing the greatest discovery in the past thousand years. Why would I be upset?”

I raise an eyebrow, “Well, this flies in the face of everything you spent your time learning. Doesn’t this make your entire physics degree pretty much worthless?”

Tess just stares at the floating pillow, “Meh, I have like three other degrees to fall back on right?” We both laugh for a moment but then Tess gets serious, “But no, really, can you teach me?”

“A chance to actually teach you something? Dear diary, hell hath frozen over.”


About half an hour later we were all gathered in the living room. We would have started sooner but Tom was just starting to grow his horn and we figured it would be easier if I held this magic lesson just once for both of the new unicorns. Finally, around 7:45, I deemed Tom’s mini horn to be sufficient length so we could begin.

“I’m still not exactly sure what we’re trying to do here” Tom says as he sat next to Tess on the sofa.

“You mean Rachel hasn’t shown you what she can do yet?” Harry asks with a smile, he’s sitting on the other side of the room eating cake.

I walk to the center of the living room carrying two apples. “No Harry, I haven’t.”

Tess drums her fingers impatiently, “Can we please get this started? I have so many things I want to try, just show us how you do it!”

I smirk back at her, “Hey, I had to learn this by myself, be glad I’m offering to teach this to you girls.”

Tom lifts his hand to say something, but bites his tongue and holds it back. Harry speaks instead, “That’s a good point Rachel, you should charge them something to receive such a lesson.”

I wave a hand back at Harry, “My sister already paid. I get to call her Twilight now.”

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever. But what about Tom? Or does she get the lesson for free because you like her?”

Tom once again raises his hand in protest but is too polite to say anything. I bite my tongue as I think about what to charge Tom. My sister was right, I couldn’t really let Tom get the lesson for free, but I don’t want payment...

Harry pokes me as he stands next to me, though I could have sworn he was sitting down a second ago. “Don’t worry Rachel, I have an idea for this.” I shrug my shoulders and let him proceed. “Tom’s payment will be a kiss! If the lesson is successful Tom will owe Rachel one kiss. Sounds fair to me!”

I feel myself blush and I look away, but I hear Tom speak up. “Uh, sure. But can it be when all this crazy pony stuff is over? I think it would be a little weird to kiss with us looking like this.”

Tess mumbles something about ‘good luck with that’ and Harry walks back to his seat telling Tom that’s fine. I clear my throat and try to get on with the lesson, “Right, well with that settled let’s get started. You will notice I have two apples here.”

“Question.” Tom raises his hand.

I blush, pretty sure this will be about the kiss, “Yes Tom?”

Tom looks around, “Um... I’m sorry, what are we doing? What is this a lesson of?”

I nonchalantly levitate a small stack of magazines off the table and float them over to Tom, then hold them in the air for a few seconds before dropping them to the floor. “Levitation, telekinesis, whatever you want to call it Tom. You’re a unicorn now, you can do magic, this is your first magic lesson.”

Tom blinks in utter confusion. He didn’t even know what ponies were a few hours ago, and now he was being told he can cast magic? It was akin to telling someone that the Earth was actually flat. He looks up at me, “I’m sorry did you say magic?”

Tess butts in, “Alright Rachel, so I see you looked right at the books before you lifted them. Line of sight is required then?”

I shrug, “It helps, especially for starters. Here I brought these two apples for you two to try out.” I place them down a few feet in front of both of them, “What I want you to do is look at your apple. Really look at it. You want your mind to just sort of feel it in three dimensional space.”

Tess starts to glare at her fruit while Tom just raises an eyebrow and look up at me, “I’m really not following here. Look at the fruit to make it float?”

“Yeah, well, sort of. Hmm, this is hard to explain.” I scratch my head as I see Tess stare at her fruit and nothing happens. “Maybe I should demonstrate again.”

Tess breaks her fruit focused stare and nods. “Yeah, let us watch this time.”

I sit between the two girls and give them sideways glances, “Okay, here goes, pay attention.”

Across the room, Harry rubs his knee and mutters something about it being pinchy. Tess nudges me, “Rachel, tell us what you’re doing when you do it, should be easier to follow.”

Tom reaffirms this is a good idea, so I take a deep break and look at the two apples, slowly making them both rise as I explain what I’m doing. Tess squeaks, “I can feel that... in the air, it feels like magic? I can just follow that thread...”

I drop the apples, “Really? Tom did you feel anything?”

Tess stares at her apple again, her forehead twitching in concentration. Tom shakes his head at my question, “Not particularly, but--”

A nearby squee makes Tom stop. I look over at the source of the noise to see Tess smiling and the apple floating in front of her. I clap my hands, “Way to go Twilight! That’s the ticket!”

She just grunts and focuses more, “I feel like I can do more... just gonna...”

I glance back over at the apple to see it starting to vibrate violently. “Um, Twilight...” The apple starts glowing and giving off strange heat. “Twilight, you might wanna back off a little...”

Tess doesn’t respond, she just gives off some feral noise and sparks start to shoot off her horn.

Tom stands up and starts to back away from the apple, “I take it this doesn’t normally happen?”

Tess’s eyes start to flicker white and her horn grows brighter. Harry stands up at the far side of the room, “Rachel, what is your sister doing?”

I wave a hand in front of my sister’s face, “Twilight! Err, Tess! Calm down, I don’t think you’re doing this right!”

The apple starts pulsating violently and starts to hum with energy.

Harry walks backwards away from the scene, “Umm, guys, something something something... messing with forces beyond our control?!”

I could taste something funny, something bad is about to happen. I glance sideways and the red glowing orb that used to be a simple apple. Pretty sure we need to get away from this thing, it really doesn’t look stable. “Guys... we should leave...”

Tom doesn’t need a second warning and all but runs away from the scene to join Harry behind the door frame. I want to leave as well, but Tess is still sitting right next to it and I can’t leave her here. “Tess! Snap out of it, stop your spell, come on!”

I watch as both of my sister’s eyes suddenly turn pure white, then all of her hair stands up and her body lifts off the couch to float a few inches in the air. Harry groans from his location, “Oh, this is just great, we got super saiyan Twilight in the living room.”

This is bad, very bad. Casting her first magic must have set her off or something, all I know is we are in the middle of an apartment block with a thousand inhabitants, and we are clearly messing with powers we can’t control. Sure this happens in the show here and there, but this time there isn’t a Celestia to come by and fix everything.

The red orb starts to give off red sparks, setting the coffee table below it on fire. I reach out a hand to touch Tess’s shoulder to try and bring her out of it, but I jerk my hand back as an arc of something jumps to it and stings me. Harry yells out, trying to get his message heard across the ever increasing noise coming from the red orb. “RACHEL, DON’T TOUCH HER, SHE MIGHT TURN YOU INTO A CACTUS.”

Smoke was starting to build up from the coffee table, which is now fully engulfed in flames. Meanwhile Tess’s orb has grown to the size of a basketball and she doesn’t seem to be stopping. I look around in desperation, “Come on Rachel, think! I need to get Twilight out of here, but I can’t touch her body without getting shocked. Hmm, I can’t lift her whole body with my magic either, I doubt I can lift anything much larger than a basketball...

I blink at the realization and look back at the glowing orb of death. Hmm... I glance back at Tess, her eyes are still white. “Twilight... I hope you don’t mind if I steal your red ball thing.”

I look through the inferno, and surprisingly enough I see Tom heading back towards me. He yells “Rachel, come on, you need to get out of here!”

I ignore his warning, full well knowing that I can’t leave my sister alone as the room catches fire. I grit my teeth and feel my ears lie flat as I focus on the red glowy thing. I feel myself grab hold of it and I start to magically pull it away from us, silently praying Twilight doesn’t magically spaz out and kill me for stealing her apple.

Tess doesn’t seem to notice, but I start to wonder where I can put this thing. I could tell it’s still growing and it’s still dropping flaming sparks everywhere. I spot the window and aim for it.

Tom waves his hands at me, “Wait, the window is closed!”

I yell back, “OPEN IT.”

Tom gestures forward with both arms, “There’s fire! And the red thing! I can’t get over there!”

“OPEN THE WINDOW TOM” I yell, immediately surprising myself with my voice. It was much deeper than normal and full of authority. It wasn’t a yell, it was a command to be followed.

Tom looks over at the window and stick out his tongue in concentration, a second later I see a faint blue glow and the window opens. Wasting no time, I hurl the red object out the window. As it leaves sight I feel it start to quiver and break apart. I quickly let it go from my magical grasp, as I’m pretty sure it’s going to explode without Twilight next to it. We live on the 20th floor hopefully it explodes before it hits the ground and--

My thoughts are cut off by a deep concussive sound followed by the sound of nearby windows shattering and car alarms going off. I wince, hopefully no one got hurt.

I look back at my sister, she seems to be back to normal and is lying on the floor rubbing her forehead. “Are you alright sis? I mean, I know I started calling you Twilight, but that was some really next level shit you just pulled. How do you feel?”

She looks around, then spots a broken table leg and levitates it with her horn, “I feel fine, and hey look, I learned the levitation thing!”

I look around me, feeling the heat on my skin “Yeah, great, and the only consequence was setting half the living room on fire.”

Tess drops the wood from her magic hold as she looks around, “I lost control...”

I back away from the growing flames, “Yep. Turns out you not only learned levitation, you learned how to make a flaming ball of death that sets the building on fire.”

I’m in the middle of planning an evacuation route when Harry shows up wearing a fireman’s hat and carrying two fire extinguishers. After some quick work the fire is put out and he surveys the damage. I raise an eyebrow, “Harry, where did you get a fireman’s helmet?”

He takes it off, “Huh? Oh, I found it on the way. I thought it would be useful since I was on my way to put out a fire.”

I tilt my head in confusion but decide to let it slide, we have more important things to deal with. Sure the fire is out, but the police are probably going to come investigate the source of that loud noise that shattered windows and such. Normally I would be okay with this, I can talk my way out of most things. However, I’m not really sure I can do it while covered in pony anatomy.

I rub my hand over my chin as I contemplate things, “Harry, any chance we could lay low at your place for a while?”

He shakes his head no, “Dude, I live in my parent’s basement. I don’t think they would take too kindly to four people showing up, especially when three of them have horns and they all have tails...”

I glance at Tom, “Same deal with you Tom? You live on your parent’s estate right? Do they know about this pony thing?”

Tom frowns, “No, they weren't home this afternoon when I grew my tail, but they will definitely be home now. I could probably sneak in myself, but there’s no way all four of us could live there.”

Tess walks over, still amazed at all the damage she caused, “Geez, all this damage was from me?”

Harry backhands her shoulder, “Yes, it is. You tried pushing yourself or something and you went full super saiyan on us. Which is great and all, but now we’re all completely screwed and have nowhere to hide”

Tess frowns and stares at the floor, softly saying an apology. Tom puts his hand on her shoulder, “Well... we’re not totally screwed. We can go somewhere.”

I look at him, “I thought you said we couldn’t use your house?”

He takes a deep breath, “Well yeah, not that house, but my family has more than one.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Freakin one percenter.

I laugh, “Well that’s great Tom, we can use your other house! Where is it, somewhere outside the city? One of the suburbs around Vancouver?”

Tom, ‘the American’, rubs his neck. “A bit further away than that I’m afraid. It’s in downtown Seattle.”

I raise my eyebrows, we are going to have to cross the border. That might prove difficult.

Tess, who was busy seeing if she could levitate three things at once, turns back to face us, “That can work, getting out of this city right now is probably for the best. Cops are going to be looking for what made that noise, and they’ll notice our room has burn marks.”

I agree, “Seattle it is, if we leave now we can get there by midnight. Should be a nice change of pace, hopefully there will be fewer explosions and such.”

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