Honor the Dead

by BinaryTroll

5: GPS is for scrubs.

Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read by Honored Service
Chapter 5: "GPS is for scrubs."

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I swung my leg over the cycle and grabbed the handlebars. I clicked the kill switch and began to turn the engine over. Good, the idiot had put fuel in. I looked down to the built in GPS screen.

NO CONNECTION

I stared at the screen. “Wut? The internet works but GPS doesn't? The fuck?” I threw my hands into the air “Oh yeah that makes perfect fucking sense! I can contact someone from another world, watch YouTube, and listen to music. BUT I CAN'T RECIVE A FUCKING GPS SIGNAL!” I slammed my fist into the screen, cracking it.

“GPS is for scrubs anyway.” Joel said, smiling.

“Not helping.” I growled back.

Joel responded by accelerating in front of me, spraying sand into my face.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” I yelled, spitting sand out of my mouth. I flicked my wrist back and sped after him.

Lots of swearing later

The stars and moon lit my way as I pursued Joel through the forest. I swerved, narrowly missing a tree. We had been riding for about a quarter of an hour and during that time I had gained about twelve cuts on my face, almost crashed into hundreds of trees and jumped over a river. Landing after that was not fun. My subconsciousness took over, leaving my conscious mind to wander

Flashback

I flew through the urban sprawl at an insanely high speed, the growl of the bike coming close to deafening me. I was coming up to a building fast, too fast, I wouldn't be able to turn in time. I leaned back, beginning to start a wheelie. The front wheel came off the ground and slammed into the building. The back wheel didn't stop and I continued to lean back until I was vertical. Shit. I was going to flip.

Instead of flipping, I began to rise. I was driving up the building. DRIVING UP A FUCKING BUILDING! How is that even physically possible?

As I blatantly defied gravity, I remembered why I was driving so fast. Specifically because of the trio of bullets that slammed into the wall next to my face. I willed the bike to drive faster. Fortunately for me it did, just as a rocket exploded on the wall below me. The flames licked at my cloak, although it didn't catch fire.

I continued up the building as more bullets and rockets hit the wall below me. A lucky shot cut across my face. I could almost feel it now. Probably due to the branch that hit my face earlier.

What I forgot through all of this was that the building had a roof. And I had just reached it. I flew off into space, holding onto the bike for dear life. I looked down. Big mistake.

The building I had just driven up was practically a small skyscraper, so the ground was a long way down. I gave a squeak that would give Fluttershy a run for her money and began to fall.

I ditched the bike and grabbed onto the edge of the roof, watching as the bike fell onto my pursuers, exploding into a huge ball of fire as it slammed into the ground. I pulled myself onto the roof and began to run.

I neared the edge of the roof and jumped toward the building to my left. My feet found purchase on the wall and I wall-ran a few meters before leaping off again toward another building. I landed on the roof and rolled to my feet, sprinting once again. I leaped up and kicked off one of the corners of an adjacent building. I repeated this process several more times and reached the top of another building. It appeared to be a club.

I continued to run, but as I neared the edge I began to slide. I caught the edge of the roof with my hand before I fell and used the momentum to kick out the window below me. Screams came out of the room I flung myself into. I saluted the stunned dancers and said “Sup?” before sprinting out.

I ran into a larger room that appeared to be the bar. Looking around, I spotted a fire exit. That could take me places. I gracefully dodged the dancers as I made my way to the exit. By gracefully dodged, I mean threw people to the floor and ran in a straight line. I shoulder charged the door and it burst open.

I jumped onto the handrail and slid down, using my momentum to kick open the door at the bottom. I heard some shouting from above me. Seems like the security guards aren't too happy about me crashing the party. They began to chase me, because, you know, the entire fucking military chasing after you isn't enough.

I continued to run down the hallway, hoping I could outrun them.

BANG

Oh, and they had pistols. Fuck my life.

BANGBANGBANGBANG

I began to slide as bullets flew over my head. I need to get out of this goddamn hallway. I threw the door open and instantly rolled to my left, dodging the next salvo of bullets. The first guard ran out of the hallway and I slammed my fist into his temple, making him black out. I caught his pistol and used the grip to incapacitate the second guard.

I picked up the other pistol and studied it. Glock-18s, nice. I smiled and jammed the two pistols into my pockets.

flash...forward? I think that's right.

I smiled. I still have those two today. Or more, Joel still has those two today.

Flashback

I took off my cloak and folded it up before putting it in my backpack with the intel I had stolen. The US military is gonna be real happy about that.

I took a bus back to my apartment. Yes I lived in an apartment even though I had enough money to buy a penthouse. I had my reasons. I opened the door, threw my bag on the ground and kicked back on the couch, resting my legs on the coffee table. It still had coffee from this morning on it. Yes, I used a coffee table to put my coffee on. Quite a novel idea, I know.

I heard keys jangling in the lock and the door opened.

“Sup Wards?” Joel stared at me. “You know, I'm not going to ask what happened to you. I get the idea I don't want to know.”

“I could say the same.” Joel's shirt was shredded and he had a bandage around his head. At this time we didn't know that we had the same occupation as each other so we assumed that the other had fallen down some stairs or something.

I rested for an hour or so, before picking up my bag and walking out. I strolled down to the bus stop, humming 'Dearly Beloved' from kingdom hearts. At this time I was not a Brony and hadn't discovered the plethora of amazing music that the fandom had to offer.

I waited for a few minutes and caught my bus. The ride was uneventful and rather relaxing, compared to the mission I had just completed at least.

I jumped off the bus onto the pavement and walked up to the skyscraper that was the home of the person who had hired me. The lift was empty so I pulled out a lock-pick and began to fiddle with the floor override. A twist and click later and I had a whole skyscraper open to me. I pressed floor 66 and waited as the horrible elevator music played.

I stepped out of the elevator with only a slight loss of sanity and walked down the long hallway to the office at the end. I jiggled the handle. Locked. I knocked three times.

“I told you to leave it in the lobby.” said a voice from behind the door.

“Nice to see you too.” I replied, flipping off the man behind the door. “I personally prefer to leave my mission safety in my own hands, or in the hands of someone I trust. A random servant is not someone I trust.”

I heard a sigh from behind the door and keys jangling. “Well, I guess you should come in then.”

The man opened the door and I stepped into his rather bare office. Nice view though. I brought my mind back to the task at hand. “Here” I unzipped my backpack and handed the man a laptop.

“Why didn't you just take out the memory card?” he asked.

“Because it's possible to create a program that wipes it if it is taken out. I also wanted to keep the laptop.” I said, smiling.

He laughed. “No sense letting it go to waste, huh? I'll give you the laptop tomorrow after I copy all the files.”

I thanked him and walked out. Once I got home I noticed Joel was gone.

I dismissed it. It hadn't been the first time.

Flashfoward. That is what it is now called. Deal with it.

I subconsciously noticed that the trees had given away to a desert. That was going to get annoying when the sun came up. At least I didn't have to dodge trees anymore.

I ran over a small map of Equestria in my head. There aren't any large settlement in or near a desert as far as I knew. Shit. I continued to speed across the sand, hoping to catch up with Joel so I could tell him we went the wrong direction. Again.

I continued to chase my friend through the dunes until the sun came up. Joel began to slow and I realized why. A ruined city sat dead ahead of us. It appeared to be a human city. I don't think ponies had grasped the concept of electricity yet. That could mean one of two things. One: it was a city for a different race such as minotaurs. Or two: we weren't in Equestria.

I hoped it was one, but it became increasingly more likely for it to be two as we neared the silent city. The doors were far too narrow for a minotaur's bulk and the broken vehicles that were scattered everywhere were designed in the exact right shape for humans. I guess there could be a third option of it being an alternate version of Equestria where humans exist. I looked at the broken city and corrected myself. Existed.

I pulled up next to Joel, cutting the engine.

“Well this is unexpected.” Joel said, staring at one of the broken buildings.

“You can say that again.”

“Well-”

“SHUT UP! That’s a fucking figure of speech and you know it.”

Joel looked at me innocently and said. “What was?”

I ground my teeth and walked into the ruined city. Joel fell in step beside me.

“Odd, the power's on.” I observed, pointing at one of the streetlights.

“You'd think a city that looks like it had a nuke dropped on it wouldn't have power.” Joel agreed, picking up a fallen sign. “Welcome to hun-yic? Weird name.”

“Maybe some of the letters fell off?”

“Nah, they're all here. Although the sign's pretty beaten up.”

“The name reminds me of something but I can't place my finger on it.”

Joel dropped the sign with a clatter. “Whatever. Lets see if we can find anything interesting.”

“Oh yeah, we've been going the wrong way by the way. No major settlements are near or in a desert in Equestria.”

“How do you know we're in Equestria? We are still yet to find any ponies.”

“But we ate that cockatrice.”

“They exist in other mythological worlds too.”

“Either way, I doubt the inhabitants want to build anything in the desert, judging by this city.”

“Point taken.”

We wandered into one of the nearby buildings. The floorboards creaked under our weight.

“Well this is rather creepy.” I commented, looking into the darker than normal shadows.

“At least we have light.”

The floor creaked louder than usual. I looked down. “That doesn't so-”

The floor splintered below our combined weight and we were thrust down into a dark basement. “Never say that again.” I groaned, picking myself up off the floor. A light flickered and the basement was temporarily revealed. About ten shadow creatures shaped like deformed humans with blades for arms, pulled themselves out of the wall, moving towards me, their red eyes glowing.

“None of this shit would have happened if the fucking GPS worked.” I said, not taking my eyes off the advancing shadows.

“GPS is for scrubs.”

Author's Note:

I hope this is correctly formatted. Stupid K9.

Comments

[TyTyTech]

Amazing chapter!

[BinaryTroll]

2383378
Thank you. This is where the story really begins.

[TyTyTech]

2383522
Can't wait!