Honor the Dead

by BinaryTroll

30: BONUS 3: Welcome to Canterlot. Bitch. Now with 1300% more alternative universe.

Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read/Edited by Honored Service
Chapter 30, Bonus 3: “Welcome to Canterlot. Bitch. Now with 1300% more alternative universe.”

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Alternate timeline/universe 1

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“HELLO! I'M THE DOCTOR!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers.

“That's my line!” Calls a British accented pony from somewhere in the crowd.

Alternate timeline/universe 2

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“Pizza delivery for Miss P. Luna” I said, holding out a pizza box. “With extra loudness. As ordered.”

Alternate timeline/universe 3

I pushed open one of the huge double doors slightly and poked my head around the door. “Um hello? Do you sell trampolines?”

A room full of important looking ponies, including princesses Luna and Celestia, all stared silently back at me.

“No? Sorry to disturb you.” I closed the door quietly.

Alternate timeline/universe 4

My sister's eye twitched noticeably. She glared down at Prince Blueblood. “Probably because ponies keep interrupting me.”

“Then surely you can dismiss them?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Okay then, out you go.” I said, pointing at the door.

“What? But- I-”

“Out.”

“You can't-”

“Out.”

“But-”

My eyes flashed. “Out.”

He hung his head and slowly walked over to the door. Just as he placed his hoof on the handle, one of the windows exploded into little shards of multicolored glass. Following the glass was a blue haired human in a long black coat.

I blinked. “You went in through the window?”

“Yes. That is how I enter a room. How do you do it?”

“Uh, through the door?”

“The door? Like a peasant?”

Alternate timeline/universe 5

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“'MURICA! FUCK YEAH!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers.

Alternate timeline/universe 6

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“'STRALIA MATE!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers.

Alternate timeline/universe 7

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“HUMANITY AT ITS FINEST!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers.

Alternate timeline/universe 8

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“Did somebody want an assassin?” I looked down at the bleeding body of Blueblood. “Surely somebody wants to pay me for that?”

Alternate timeline/universe 9

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“HERE'S WARDO!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers.

Alternate timeline/universe $

I felt the wood splinter slightly beneath my foot as I kicked the huge double doors in. I felt them hit a body before swinging all the way open and crashing into the walls, making the entire room shudder.

“CAPITALISM!” I yelled, spinning Luna and Celestia around my fingers whilst money rained down around me.

4l73rN473 71M3l1N3/Un1V3R53 L33T

1 ph3L7 73H W00D 5PL1n73r 5L1Gh7Ly 83N347h My ph007 42 1 K1Ck3D 73h hUg3 D0U8l3 D00R2 1n. 1 pH3L7 7h3M h17 4 80DY 83f0r3 5w1NG1N' 4lL 73h W4Y 0p3N 4nD Cr45h1n' 1n70 73h W4LL2, m4k1n' 73h 3N71r3 R00m 5HUdd3R.

“2 L337!” 1 Y3LL3D, 5p1Nn1N' Lun4 4nD c3L35714 4R0UND My Ph1Ng3r2.

Alternate timeline/universe Gangsta

I felt tha wood splinter slightly beneath mah foot as I kicked tha big-ass double doors in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I felt dem hit a funky-ass body before swingin all tha way open n' crashin tha fuck into tha walls, makin tha entire room shudder.

"WEED!" I holla'd, spinnin Luna n' Celestia round mah fingers.

Alternate timeline / mundi Latin

Ego novi: Sine eiiciam festucam de lignis leviter sub pedibus, ut in calce ingens hit ostia i sensit corpore, ego animus per omnia, et in lapide iter in urbem, ut omnis locus, et contremiscunt.

"Stultitia!" Et dederunt vocem suam, et Luna Caelestibus nere inter digitos meos.

01000001011011000111010001100101011100100110111001100001011101000110010100100000011101000110100101101101011001010110110001101001011011100110010100101111011101010110111001101001011101100110010101110010011100110110010100100000011000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001000011010000101000001101000010100100100100100000011001100110010101101100011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011101110110111101101111011001000010000001110011011100000110110001101001011011100111010001100101011100100010000001110011011011000110100101100111011010000111010001101100011110010010000001100010011001010110111001100101011000010111010001101000001000000110110101111001001000000110011001101111011011110111010000100000011000010111001100100000010010010010000001101011011010010110001101101011011001010110010000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110100001110101011001110110010100100000011001000110111101110101011000100110110001100101001000000110010001101111011011110111001001110011001000000110100101101110001011100010000001001001001000000110011001100101011011000111010000100000011101000110100001100101011011010010000001101000011010010111010000100000011000010010000001100010011011110110010001111001001000000110001001100101011001100110111101110010011001010010000001110011011101110110100101101110011001110110100101101110011001110010000001100001011011000110110000100000011101000110100001100101001000000111011101100001011110010010000001101111011100000110010101101110001000000110000101101110011001000010000001100011011100100110000101110011011010000110100101101110011001110010000001101001011011100111010001101111001000000111010001101000011001010010000001110111011000010110110001101100011100110010110000100000011011010110000101101011011010010110111001100111001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100101011011100111010001101001011100100110010100100000011100100110111101101111011011010010000001110011011010000111010101100100011001000110010101110010001011100000110100001010000011010000101010010011010110010100111100100001100101000010000001001001001000000111100101100101011011000110110001100101011001000010110000100000011100110111000001101001011011100110111001101001011011100110011100100000010011000111010101101110011000010010000001100001011011100110010000100000010000110110010101101100011001010111001101110100011010010110000100100000011000010111001001101111011101010110111001100100001000000110110101111001001000000110011001101001011011100110011101100101011100100111001100101110

Author's Note:

Discord needs to stop doing innuendo.

Comments

[GodOFInsaNity666]

WELL.BITCH GET READY FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE UNIVERSE
BECAUSE TODAY WE HAVE CELESTIA AND HER SISTER LUNAAAAAAAAAAa
VS. LUNA AND CELESTIAAAAAAAa

[Zarose]

Oh god they finally made it.

[BinaryTroll]

3538833
lol jks was just a dream

[BinaryTroll]

3536038
BEGIN!

[marmou]

Alternate Universe 3, (or at least it should have been 3 because there were two 4s)

Princess we have an intruder
How did they get in?
In-tru-der window

[BinaryTroll]

3539847
There were 2 4's?
Shit.

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

Surely somebody wants to pay me for that.

You hilarious bastard you. I won't slit your throat in your sleep tonight.

[BinaryTroll]

3544543
I'd like to see you try.

[Zarose]

3539785 WHAT!?!? NO!!! I WANTED THEM TO BE THERE!!!

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

3544887
Is that a challenge? I have over 60 blades to choose from.

[WritersAnon]

3553239
Only 60? I have twice that in just my Bowie knives. With D guards.

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

3557719
I'm only 15 at the moment, and I'm not lying about the collection

[BinaryTroll]

3559128
Fucking 'merica. I wish I could have that many. But nooo, 'they're sharp, they're concealed weapons, you might hurt yourself.' If I'm buying a fucking knife, I want it to be sharp. Knives weren't made to play with.

Stupid government. Makes me want to stab them.

You know... I think I just proved their point.

Side note: You're 15? Didn't you say you pulled a pistol on your friend a few chapters back? Is that a thing in America?

[WritersAnon]

3559128
And you think I was?

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

3562868
Yes, I got that pistol for my 14th birthday, I also have 6 long rifles. I also live in Texas. I really don't help the Texas stereotype...
But anyways...
pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1252275057/image.jpg
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!

[marmou]

3564428 3562877
america always fucking having fucking weapons fuck.
why is everyone so up tight over here? IT WAS A CAKE! I BROUGHT A KNIFE TO CUT A BLOODY CUT A BLOODY CAKE I SWEAR! I asked, and apparently you can't even bring butter knifes to school! Their limit is plastic. plastic knifes. you cant cut a cake with a plastic knife!
And look at america! they're doing just fine with their weapon laws!
...apart from all those school shootings and what not.
in fact. screw what i just said. weapons suck. i suck. everything sucks. i'm going to sit upside down in the corner of the ceiling good night.

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

3565069
Don't worry, our school system is fucked up beyond belief now. You can't even have clothes depicting weaponry anymore

[BinaryTroll]

3565156
...

Logic, I don't know what thy name is, but it isn't America.

[Ignis Mortis et Doloris]

3568230
Eeyup

[marmou]

important question;
Does Edward's coat have long sleeves? How long?

[Death2205]

3544543 my ribs still hurt from number 8

[Brother Uriel]

Oh my fucking God! I loved it! Ok, I got one.
*Bashs down the double doors*
"FOR THE EMPEROR MOTHERFUCKERS!"

[SpareMercury]

The second to last was funny because he said poop. Poop is and always will be funny!

[TheDrunkenKnight]

I. Am. Dieing. Somone. Send. The. Doctors. Please.
Oh and:
*Knocks down the doors*
SUPRISE MOTHAFUCKA!!