28: Running.
Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read/Edited by Honored Service
Chapter 28: “Running.”
--------------
After stocking up on provisions from the vault, we continued walking, raiding vaults, and talking about random unimportant stuff. Here's a brief summary:
Week 1: Woooo! Food!
Week 2: I'm bored.
Week 3: Where's Canterlot?
Week 4: Seriously, where the fuck is Canterlot?
Week 5: WHAT THE HELL VI?
So after our fifth week of walking, the plains finally ended.
“Fucking finally!” I groaned, flopping onto the ground. The Everfree loomed on the horizon, dark, mysterious and a hell of a lot more interesting than barren plains.
“We aren't out of the woods yet.” Joel said, dragging me upward. “Or should I say, into the woods yet.”
I shook my head and sighed. “Goddammit Joel.”
“Canterlot is still a long way off, at least another week away.” Vi said.
“Don't care, forest is more interesting than plains.”
“You said we'd reach Canterlot in three weeks.” Shyvanna complained. “It's been at least double that!”
“I've only made this journey once in my life, and that was by air. It's kind of hard to exactly calculate the difference between walking and flying, especially when you're running for your life.” Vi replied angrily. “And besides, look at us. A changeling, hated by almost every race in Equestria, a half-dragon, a species that was never meant to be, and two relics of a long forgotten age of fire, pain and death. We aren't exactly going to be welcomed with open hooves.”
Shyv kicked a stone towards the forest. “I know, but I'm sick of walking, I could tolerate all the hate if I got a shower and a decent bed.”
Vi laughed. “You aren't the only one.”
“I would kill for a shower right now.” I muttered. “Although that's not really saying much.”
“Hey Wards?”
I looked up. “Yeah?”
“Race you.”
“What?”
Joel accelerated into a a black and green blur, leaving me coughing in the dust.
“Oh you mother fucker. Get back here!” I sprinted off after him.
A race huh? I smiled inwardly. Why the hell not? I pushed my legs harder. Well, I'm not planning on being beaten.
I pumped my arms and leaned forward, running almost entirely off the balls of my feet. I felt my coat pulling at my chest and arms as I accelerated further. Joel was getting closer. I jumped, for no reason. To my surprise, my coat caught the air and I remained in the air for a full second, just floating. I hit the ground running.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I raised a fist to the sky, still running. “That was fucking awesome!”
I closed my eyes and leaned even further forward, feeling my speed increase even more. For some reason, my arms had ended up behind me, in a delta fashion. I mentally shrugged. Whatever, it's probably more aerodynamic at this point anyway.
I couldn't feel the long grass whipping at my arms and legs anymore. That's odd. I opened my eyes...
Just in time to run into a tree.
“Ow.” I groaned, sliding slowly down the bark onto the ground.
I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. “You okay Wardo?”
“Ah think ah broke ma nose.” I said thickly, picking myself up. My hand went to my nose. “Yup, definitely broken.”
Blood ran down my face, back through my nose and into my mouth. It tasted coppery. Maybe with a hint of rosemary. My blood is weird. I wiped it away and sighed.
I took a deep breath. “Alright, I can breathe fine.” I coughed and spat out a globule of blood. “Except for that.”
I heard a thump behind me. “Edward?”
I turned around. “Hi.”
Shyv recoiled. “What the-”
I held up a hand to silence her. “Yeah, broke my nose.”
“I'm slightly more concerned by the fact that it seems to be rearranging itself.”
I blinked. “Sorry, what?”
“There are like... tentacles coming out of your nose. And they're mending it.” She retched. “And it looks disgusting.”
I tapped my nose. Sure enough I could feel something writhing there. I kept my finger there and the tendrils pushed it away.
“That's not normal.”
“Ya think?”
I crossed my eyes, trying to get a look at the things that were reassembling my nose. “Well, this probably explains a few things.”
Shyv looked sick. “Can you stop it?”
“I don't think so. I don't know why I'd want to though either. This is cool.”
“No, it's creepy.”
I heard Vi land behind me. “What's all this about?”
I turned around and grinned.
She took a step back. “WHAT THE BUCK?”
I waved my hand casually. “Yes, yes, creepy nose things. Anyway, where to now?”
She pointed to the heart of the Everfree with a hoof. “Over there, but seriously. What the buck?”
I spun around and started walking. “I have no idea what these things are and I don't really care. We can look it up in the library when we get to Canterlot.”
“So that's not just some human thing?”
“Nope.”
“Right.”
I resisted the urge to scratch my nose and instead looked around. The Everfree was dark, even at this time of day. The trees seemed to reach out and claw at me from the darkness. Giggle at the ghosties. I looked back and flipped off the tree I had ran into. Or give them the one finger salute. Whatever works.
“What was that in aid of?” Joel asked.
“For being in my way.”
“You're weird, you know that?” Vi said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Did you expect an assassin from a race that hasn't been seen for hundreds of years until recently who is an outcast even from his own species to be normal?”
Vi sighed. “Point made, point taken.”
“Ten points to Griffindor!”
Joel facepalmed. “Dammit Wards.”
“Anyhoo, onwards!” I did a pointless front-flip and ran off again.
Running at top speed through a forest was insanity. I thought that normal freerunning was insane, but this... this was a hell of a ride.
My brain was working on overdrive. Every tree root, bush and rock could send me face-first into the ground, and I had to cope with that whilst dodging left and right through the upcoming trees as well. I spun right, jumped and grabbed onto a tree branch. Using my momentum, I swung my self upwards onto the branch and sprang forwards again. I kicked off a tree to my right, sending me narrowly out of the way of some hanging vines. I hurtled towards the next tree and grinned.
Everything clicked in my head. I put my hands out in front of me and let my arms and shoulders take the impact. I let my legs and lower body fly upward, until I felt my heels smack into the bark. I pushed off with my hands and began to run again, this time directly upwards.
“Suck it gravity!” I yelled to the world. As I reached the upper branches of the tree, I grabbed one and used it to slingshot myself into the air. I rose up above the Everfree, watching it from above. Off in the distance, I could see mountains. And at the peak, I could finally see Canterlot. The end was in sight!
And then I looked down. “Oh mother fucker.” I muttered. “I just remembered why I am afraid of heights.”
So I flew like a rock. Fortunately, I didn't land like one. I raised my arms to shield my face from the branches. I'd like to keep my eyes thank you very much. I could feel the sharp limbs whip at my forearms and hair, although they didn't hurt. I opened my eyes as I fell through the last of the canopy.
“Please work.” I muttered. I coiled myself up and waited.
There! I kicked out, striking a solid branch and propelling myself forward. As the ground rushed up to meet me, I stuck my hands out in a diamond shape. “Tuck and roll.” My hands hit the leafy ground first, closely followed by my shoulder. From there, I rolled forward and to my feet.
I fist pumped. “Fuck yeah! Good thing I never studied anything past basic physics.”
I heard a scuff behind me. Suddenly a figure launched out of the trees, flipping sideways over my head and landing softly on the ground in front of me.
“What up Wardo?”
I laughed. “Nothing much. I know what Canterlot looks like now.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How?”
“Tree branches are rather elastic.” I said mysteriously.
He crossed his arms. “Right. So how how far away are we?”
I grinned. “Too close to wait. So lets go!”
“By the way, your nose is fixed.”
I put my palm on my face. Yup, nose was indeed fixed. “Good to know. Now, ONWARD!”
I launched myself towards the nearest tree, spinning in the air like a drill. Using the spinning motion I gripped the tree and launched myself off again, flipping forward and sideways. I hit the ground running.
I ran straight for about a hundred meters before diving to avoid a large boulder that had sprung up into my path. I jumped over a smaller rock and continued my flight. As my eyes darted back and forth across my path, I noticed something odd. Rocks littered the area, and the trees began to seem small and sickly.
I raised an eyebrow. “That's new.” I returned my gaze to the front and almost crashed into a tree again, only just managing to juke out of the way in time. “And that was close.”
“YO!” Joel leveled with me. “You want to do something awesome?”
“I'm always up for some awesome. Where to?”
Joel waved his arm. “Follow me.” He angled off to our left. I followed, hot on his heels.
“So, what's all this about?” I asked, dodging a thorn bush.
Joel smiled. “You'll see.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Right, run ahead a bit.”
I put on an extra boost of speed and leaped forward, now running in front of Joel.
“Ready?”
“For what?”
“Throw me!”
I stretched out an arm and felt Joel grab it. I spun and transferred my momentum to Joel to send him flying forward through the trees.
I started running again. “Okay, what the fuck was that about?” I called after Joel.
“Watch out! There's a-”
I tripped and almost fell down a huge crack in the earth, only just saved by quick reflexes. “Oh shit!”
“Cliff.” Joel finished, standing on the other side.
“So, what was the point of that?” I asked, staring down the bottomless hole.
“To get me across, what do you think?”
“Uh, what about me?”
Joel shrugged. “You'll figure something out.”
“Wow.”
“Love you too Wards.” He sped off.
“If only I had a pair of fucking wings.” I muttered.
I made my way up to the top of a nearby tree and looked around. Two shapes were slowly criss-crossing their way over the forest, looking for something.
I facepalmed an almost fell of the branch I was balancing on. “Why didn't I think of this before?”
“Edward! Joel! Where are you?”
I smiled, maybe I didn't have to take the long way after all. I cupped my hands around my mouth. “OVER HERE!” I shouted jumping up and down on the branch. One of the shapes swung towards me.
Shyvanna dived towards me, coming to a halt just before colliding with me. “Where have you been?” She asked, looking murderous.
“Heh.” I ran my hand through my hair. “Sorry.”
She sighed. “Seriously, don't run off like that. You could have gotten yourself killed.”
“I ran face first into a tree at some insane speed and only broke my nose. I think I'd be fine.”
She looked around. “Where's Joel?”
“Ah, and that is why I need your help.”
“With what?”
“You mind flying me over that ravine?” I said, pointing in it's general direction.
She crossed her forelegs. “I should be able to, why?”
“I kinda threw Joel over it and now I can't cross it myself.”
“Right. And why did you throw Joel over it?”
“Cause he asked me to.”
She blinked. “You humans are crazy, you know that?”
I rolled my eyes. “I noticed.”
“Okay, I'll carry you. But first, promise me you won't run away again like that.”
I sighed. “I can't promise it, but I'll try not to.”
“That'll have to do.” She flew over and picked me up under my arms. “Now then. Lets fly.”
I closed my eyes. “And I'm still afraid of fucking heights.” I muttered before being jerked off the branch.
Shyvanna unceremoniously dumped me on the other side of the gap. “Now, wait here while I get Vi.”
I groaned. “Don't take too long.”
“I'll try not to.”
Meanwhile in Canterlot.
"FORCED TIME OF LEAVE?!" Honored yelled at the three alicorns seated on their thrones across from him in the massive throne room. The damage from the battle between the human Nightmare and him were well repaired.
"What the hell is that anyway?"
"We all feel that after the constant strain that the last year and half has had on you," Luna spoke
first, using her words to try and calm the angry human, "that you be given some paid vacation time."
"Oh. Well that's okay." Honored said, calming down immediately.
"Really?" Celestia said her eyes widening in surprise.
"Sure." He waved a hand at them. "After saving the day for the umpteenth time I guess I could use a vacation."
"We have all decided to post you in Ponyville to begin your recovery and new assignment." Twilight smiled as she floated a scroll over to herself and cleared her throat. "Let it be known that on this day, Lieutenant Honored Service of the Equestrian Honor Guard is to be stationed in Ponyville as a reserve action force. He is also to learn lessons on friendship and how to solve problems without resorting to violence."
Honored coughed politely.
"Ugh." Twilight floated a quill up and scribbled something into the margin of the scroll, "solving problems without violence right from the start."
"Thank you." He smiled kindly to the alicorn and waited for the trio to continue.
"Honored, I figured the salary you were paid and then back paid for the year you were gone should be a significant amount to live your life in Ponyville."
"And that would be...?"
"Around 78,613 bits." Twilight said matter of factly.
"Sure, I guess that's okay. Still have no idea what the monetary value system is here." Honored shrugged. "Well let me collect my things and I guess I can get moving."
"To Ponyville."
"To a boring life of nothingness." I hung my head.
"No more creature slaying." Princess Celestia said.
"No more running around and slashing things willy-nilly." Luna added with a smile.
"No more being a homicidal manic that acts first and asks questions later." Twilight stated.
Honored looked at the three Princess and then towards a window across the room. Back to the Princesses. Back to the window.
Princesses. Window.
"Honored..." Twilight warned.
Window. Princesses. Window. Princesses. "Alright fine." He sighed.
At least he would get to live a completely boring and normal life.
Shit.
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another very good story so far and i can't wait to read the next chapter of this story.
I have cake, but I'm too busy doing other things to give it too you... yeah, things...
P.S. story's are hard to write.
I HAVE A CAKE FILLED WITH LIES
I have a bit of cake. And a bit of ice cream. And a shit ton of candy. Not only was there way too many leftovers from the party, there was food that hadn't even been touched because I forgot to bring it down. I don't know what to do with all these mars bars.
The cake is a lie.............
Sorry. Had to say it. Also, are you working with honored service on this story? If you guys work together then this could turn out pretty damn funny. Also you'd probably have a better take on honored's speech patterns and reactions if you have his creators help.
3445558
No I'm not. I sorta wish I was, but I'm pretty sure he's got his own plans. I'm basically writing a bit behind him so I can plan around whatever he's doing. Also, all the sections that have honored directly in them are taken from his story, and then (badly) changed into third-person. Thought I'd remind you, just in case you didn't notice (which you probably did [especially because I basically outright said it{I'm wasting time again aren't I?<So many brackets>}]).
3436948
give it to*
Stories*
Sorry, I can't help myself.
3437760
There's always two...
3436283
Thank you for the words of encouragement. They help more than you know.
3439978
I'd love to take some of that off your hands.
If I had a car.
3446563 your welcome.
3446564 It's times like this where a portal gun would be really handy.
Also, I have a question, if I shot an orange portal in my bedroom then used the tardis to go back to 2011 and shot an orange portal in my living room, would that make a portal through time? Or would that not work at all?
3448618
You mean a blue portal? Well, it might, or it might just not activate until 2013. I'll need to ask *D4wef32rgww$wef%*a^t656agaerg78#$6)*n^)wefa342%^&awef243weaf6%)
Oh good, temporal interference. Goddamn spoilers. Maybe the ^Nidah2143bsb@#5624$!$sbhdi526hbsad542346#$@vibu825698912869&*%45&^$6524)*(&85&$&
Oh for fucks sake!
Sheeeeeit son. Dis gun be good.
3450878
Marmou to Enterprise, we've got another bloody sub-space anomaly
3451746
Exactly what are you referring to when you say that?
3459378
Going to Canterlot.
That, and I'm insane, like you, just more so. About 9 of 13 acorns.