14: Never piss off a dragon.
Honor the Dead
by BinaryTroll
Pre-read by Nobody. Like seriously, the guy's name is Nobody.
Chapter 14: “Never piss off a dragon human.”
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Two of the bullets ripped through Shyvanna's foreleg whilst another tore through her wing. Blood sprayed out of the wounds, coating the floor in crimson. She dropped without a sound.
“JESUS MAN! WHAT THE hell...” Joel trailed off as he saw Shyvanna lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. “Did I just?”
“No, she's still breathing.”
Joel released a massive breath. “Oh thank god.”
I knelt down by Shyv's side. “She might be still alive now, but if she doesn't get help she won't be for long.”
“Good thing we're here then.”
I silently stared at Joel for a few seconds. “You do realize we're the reason she's like this?”
“Yes, but we're also the only ones able to help her.”
I cracked my knuckles. “Well then, find some first aid and I'll-”
Shyvanna twitched.
“Stay still.” I said quietly into her ear. “You're losing blood and I don't think moving is going to help.”
“Move.” She groaned.
“What?”
“Stand.” She flinched. “Back.”
“Okay.” I stood up and took three steps back. “Is this good?”
“Yeah.” She smiled. And that's when I noticed it.
Her teeth were no longer that of a herbivore's, they were wickedly pointed fangs. Not made for shearing through gems, but for eating meat.
“Uh Shyv? Something weird's happening to your teeth.”
She didn't respond.
“Shyv?”
“Please don't freak out.”
“What the hell is happening?” I asked, my voice becoming unnaturally high.
Shyv burst into flames. Quite literally. Her mane became a raging inferno, slowly engulfing the rest of her body. All I could see was her silhouette now, a darker patch in the blaze. And something was happening. Her ears were elongating, becoming sharp. They lengthened until they were about the size of my forearm, becoming a pair of wicked horns.
The flames began to die down and Shyv stood, shaking off some excess embers. Her ears were still there, they just seemed to have disappeared in her silhouette. Two long, ebony colored horns rose from her temples, pointing backward and following the direction of her face. She smiled, and the teeth I had noticed earlier were still there, sharp and deadly.
My eye twitched. “Okay, trying not to panic, but you appear to have grown a pair of FUCKING HORNS!”
“Not to mention some distinctly non-herbivorous teeth.” Joel added, stepping up beside me.
Shyvanna giggled a little. “Yeah, getting hurt does that.”
I rubbed my eyes, blinked and then slapped myself. “Okay, being hurt does not mean you are not hurt a few seconds later, and I'm pretty sure that YOU DON'T GROW A PAIR OF FUCKING HORNS!”
“And carnivorous teeth” Joel added, still standing calmly by my side as I practically tore my wonderful blue hair out at this scientific impossibility.
“It's a half-dragon thing. The more I get hurt, the more dragon-like I become. In fact, the only way to properly kill me is to either cut off my head, or kill me while changing. If I lose a body part, I turn entirely into a dragon.” Shyv explained, smiling.
“Alright. But I just need to say this; YOU GREW FUCKING HORNS!”
“And carnivorous teeth.”
Shyv burst out laughing. After a few seconds of regaining her breath, she said “Yeah, I did notice.”
“Good, we've established that you've grown a fucking pair of horns. Now, can we get on with the morning?”
“You're the one who's holding it up Wards.”
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “This is why I don't get up before noon.”
EPIC CLEANING MONTAGE
“Did anyone else hear 'epic cleaning montage' in their head just now?”
Shyvanna looked at me like I was insane, which I guess I am. “No.”
Joel shrugged. “Nope.”
“Right, just me then. Speaking of which, do you want to clean this place up? Maybe raid the non-existent fridge?”
“Isn't that stealing?” Shyv asked, running her tongue over her new teeth.
“Pff, by the time he gets back it'll all be rancid anyway. In fact we'd be doing him a favor, he won't have to clean up the rotten food.”
“Dragons eat gems. Last I checked they don't rot. Also, what's a fridge?”
“It's box that keeps stuff cold. But whatever. Hey Joel?”
Joel looked up from a pile of assorted metal bits. “Yeah?”
I gestured toward the mound. “The fuck are you doing?”
“Piling up bits of metal.”
“Why?”
“Because my brain sent signals to my arms and hands to start piling up bits of metal.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to pile up bits of metal.”
“Why?”
“Because of small electrical signals in my brain that process information.”
I was silent.
He blinked.
I blinked.
He blinked again.
“Okay.” I shrugged and looked around. It looked like someone had taken an apartment and medievalised it. Random bits of metal lay around on the ground, as well as a few gems on the tables. Speaking of the decor, it was rather bland. It was all cut from dull gray stone, with little ornamentation. Three straw beds sat in a row at the back of the cave.
My mind processed the information. I was still a bit slow. I need caffeine. Anyway, the dragon has no taste in furniture, likes metal and sleeps on three beds. Sleeps on three beds. That doesn't seem right.
And then it dawned on me, he wasn't the only one who lived here. “Shit.”
Shyvanna and Joel looked up from whatever the hell it was that they were doing. “What was that in aid of?” Joel asked, tensing slightly.
I pointed to the three beds. “I think Mr dragon isn't the only one who lives here.”
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!
I clicked my tongue. “Yup. Definitely not the only person who lives here.”
Joel sighed and stood up. “What do people have to do to get a little peace around here?”
I rolled my shoulders. “Kill everything in the nearby vicinity.”
Joel snorted and took the AWP from a nearby table. “Works for me.”
I drew the sisters and stepped out into the sunlight.
Three dragons stood angrily outside, one red, one blue and one green. The red, our old friend Mr dragon, turned towards me. He blew a small gout of flame through his nostrils before speaking. “Alright then mutants. I'm here to take back my home.”
“You and what army?”
The dragon grinned and gestured behind him with a claw. “This one.”
Seven more dragons rose into the air, a veritable rainbow of colors. They roared in unison, expelling a just as colorful flame.
I sighed and muttered “Me and my fucking massive mouth.”
Mr dragon laughed. “Oh you are helplessly outnumbered. Why don't you just leave?”
I met his gaze. “Outnumbered?” I laughed. “Maybe so, but you are far outmatched.”
“Come on guys, lets fuck em up!” Red called over his shoulder. The six dragons responded by landing in a circle around us.
Shyv took a defense stance, her eyes constantly flicking between the dragons. “Guys, are you sure about this?”
Red snarled and leaped towards me. I leaned left and watched him go sailing past. He faceplanted into ground behind me with a metallic thump.
I glanced at the now unconscious dragon before returning my gaze to the circle. “Next?”
“Oh my god, look what he did to Zippo!” Said green, pointing with a claw.
“Actually, Wards didn't do anything except lean slightly.” Joel interrupted.
Green stared at me.
I stared back.
Green started to smile. “Come on boys. Lets roast 'em.”
“Oh right, the deadly fire. How could I forget the deadly fire?” I muttered, readying myself.
The dragons roared in unison, spraying fire into the circle. I didn't even bother trying to defend myself, I just waited for the fire to boil my insides.
Nothing happened of course. The fire just sort of swirled around before dissipating.
From behind me, Shyvanna laughed. “Is that all you got? Come on guys, you can do better than that.”
I glanced over my shoulder. “Um, Shyv? Your horns are glowing.”
“Doing magic does that.” She replied, not taking her eyes off the rainbow of dragons.
“Since when can you do magic?” Joel asked from my left.
“Since you shot me.”
Green picked his jaw off the floor and scowled. “Well then, I guess we'll just have to do this the fun way.”
Green lunged in a similar fashion to Zippo. But unlike Zippo, he was aiming for Shyv. He caught her on her temple, knocking her unconscious in an instant. I spun and lashed out with Luna, the blade slamming into his eye. He was dead before anyone else could react. I pulled the knife out and wiped it on his scales.
Blue decided to take charge this time, and took to the sky. “Fly! They can't catch us if we're in the air. And little Shyv can't protect them now. We can grill them at our leisure.”
The rest of the dragons followed his example, circling above our heads.
“You know, that would be a good plan. If you knew what this is.” Joel called up to them, brandishing the rifle.
Blue replied with a fireball. Joel dived and rolled out of it's path before returning fire.
The round smashed through blue's eye socket before tearing through a purple dragon's wing. They both fell to earth with a heavy thunk. Joel chambered another round with practiced ease. “Next.”
The remaining dragons flew off as fast as their wings could carry them. I heard a moan from behind me and turned to face Zippo, who was now regaining consciousness. I sheathed Celestia and strode over to him.
I clamped my left hand over his snout. The dragon opened his eyes but couldn't defend himself. After trying to open his mouth and failing, he went limp.
“Hey red.”
Zippo made a sound of acknowledgment.
“You lost.”
He whimpered sadly.
“And now I'm going to take your all scales.”
He looked surprised.
“By butchering you like a fish.”
Zippo screamed inside his mouth.
I raised Luna and plunged her down into the dragon's skull, pinning his head to the ground.
I stood up and yanked the knife out Zippo's head. Joel tapped me on the shoulder. “Dude, I don't think that was necessary.”
“Yeah I know, but it was worth it.”
“Are you sure?” Joel asked, pointedly looking in Shyvanna's direction.
Shyvanna was obviously now conscious again, and she looked close to tears. I think my heart may have melted itself. For the first time in my life, I felt I like I regretted killing someone.
I slowly took a few steps towards her. She looked completely shell shocked. Holy shit, what did I just do? “Shyv? Are you okay?”
She didn't respond.
I knelt and put a hand on her shoulder. “Shyv, can you hear me?”
She nodded slightly.
“Good. I know you just saw someone you know die, it's difficult. But trust me, you'll move on. You have to. Things that help include coffee, mountain dew, chocolate and awesome friends. Fortunately, you have at least two of those.”
“But-”
“He's dead. And there's nothing you can do. And you shouldn't want to either. I warned him and I carried through with my threat. Just sit down, drink some coffee, and take your mind off it.”
She shuddered but took some shaky steps toward the cave. I rushed to support her. Joel took a final look at the destruction we had created before coming to help me. Together we half dragged, half carried Shyvanna back to the couch.
Once there Shyv looked up into my eyes and asked, “How can you be so calm about this?” She might as well have been staring into my soul.
I sighed heavily and sat down beside her. “Because I do it almost every day.”
“You kill people every day?”
“It's a job. And unfortunately, one of the most important ones in the world. But it's not a thing that you should be discussing.” I stood up and walked over to the remnants of our supplies. After rummaging around for a bit, I found the jar of sugar and, more importantly, coffee.
The sound of water boiling greeted me as I walked over to Joel, who was standing over the bucket of water I had thrown on him earlier. It was suspended over a small pool of lava. After a minute, he lifted it off the rack and set it down on a nearby bench. I pulled out the only cup we had left and pored the boiling water into it.
“Hooray for powdered coffee.” I muttered as I put in rather large amount of the stuff. Half a handful of sugar aaaaand...
Done.
I stirred the still boiling coffee with another random piece of metal before taking it to Shyv. “Here, drink it. You may feel a slight burning sensation on your tongue.”
She accepted it without a word. After studying the brown liquid for a second, she made up her mind and sipped it. I guess being half dragon means that you really don't care if the water is boiling hot or not, because after that she basically sculled it.
Shyv's pupils dilated. “Whatisthis?”
I smiled slightly at her reaction to the caffeine. “That would be coffee.”
Her eyes flickered left and right. “What'shappeningtome?Whyiseverythingsoslow?” Okay. Not good. I thought it might perk Shyv up a bit, but this shouldn't be happening.
“Shyv, I think you may have overreacted to the caffeine. Just... I don't know, run around a little.”
She jumped up into the air and ran around me in a circle about fifty times, before collapsing to the ground.
“What have you done?” Joel asked, staring at the barely conscious pony.
“I have no idea. But we need alcohol. Fast.”
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*chuckles* well that was unexpected :L
2702528
Agreed
Making fan art for shyvana is hard. Adding horns just makes it harder.
2710342
Hehehehe. I'm not even close to done yet. The characters are going to be constantly changing, just like real beings (except 1000000x more badass).
2711349
I wonder what Shyv looks like when she is a full dragon. I wonder what she looked like when she was a full pony. But more so, what I want to see, is the pony versions of Edward and Joel.
2711560
Alright. Shyvanna as a dragon is a large, blue-grey dragon with red and orange running down her back. Her horns are long and curve slightly inwards and downwards. She has a streamlined body shape. As for Joel and I as ponies, I have a deep black coat that shimmers with a hint of blue in the sunlight. Joel's coat is white, and shimmers green instead of blue. My mane is dark blue with a black stripe. It's spikes backward and upward at the back and forward and downward at the front and is just generally messy. Joel's mane, on the other hand, is longer and is a dark, forest green. His has a white stripe. So Joel and I are basically opposites.
At some point I might bother drawing it, but till then, all you have are these descriptions.
Fuck me, writing is so much easier on a computer.
2711634
Does shyv have a cutimark? If she does, would it disappear as she becomes more dragon and less pony?
2711634
*facepalm*
I just went back to the part were she is initially described, her cutiemark is the head of a dragon. But her eyes aren't mentioned, what colour are they?
2714227
Yes, her cutie mark gets covered by scales (though its still there, you just can't see it) when she changes. Her eyes are yellow. And the pupil is slightly elongated so it looks a bit reptilian. Note the word slightly. It still looks mostly normal. As for a proper description of her cutie mark; do whatever looks and fits best. All I'm mentioning is its a dragon head. And one more thing; Shyv's magic is less of a sparkly glow and more like a flame.
It's 12:30 in the morning, I'm tired as hell and I have insomnia. So I'm just going to write up some random guff on my iPod. I'll probably delete this.
Alright, there's a few things that have been crashing around in my head, mostly about manliness. So I've been thinking, despite all the technical bullshit I can go into, why, really, do I like mlp? Because I've noticed I find some episodes difficult to watch. And I generally am a psyco when it comes down to my interests. So why is it? Why am I bothering writing about it? Why do I care so much? There are few things that I defend with a passion. They include: PC is better than mac, my coat looks awesome, adventure time and, of course, mlp. But why? If I look into them, they are all a large part of who I am, so how does mlp fit into this? Hmm, so far I've found out that I actually enjoy shopping for clothing, a trait which is usually associated with the opposite gender. But that doesn't mean shit. There are probably thousands of men who like shopping, and its just a social stereotype. So, it has nothing to do with the femininity of the show and expressing myself through that. It's something else, and I think I know what. It's the brightness and happiness of the show, it's the world's greatest antidepressant. If you stay sad after listening to smile smile smile, you're fucking deaf. So I guess it holds a special place in my heart for saving me from depression. Shout out to waterflame too, you'll never read this, but thank you for the music. Also, every brony artist, composer and just general random guys (and girls) out there, thanks, you probably saved my life.
Now I'm going to try to sleep.
Edit: I sincerely apologise for this late night rant.
2716525
That was very touching, it reached me on a personal level.
2716525
Also, I sorta agree with that. One of the main aspects of mlp that I love is the atmosphere. Everything is so happy and colourfull, some of the creatures in the world aren't so nice, but most of them are beautiful. Look at the train. Just look at that train. I wish our trains looked like cupcakes.
2718789
It's an nice change from all the crap humans do. and it reminds me of a simpler time, when rule 34 didn't exist, people never died and pain wasn't a thing. Growing up sucks sometimes, and it feels like the older I get, the more childish I become. But I'm happy about it too, because things are making sense to me, and I can fully appreciate the time and effort that goes into making a game, tv show or whatever. Eventually I'll get old and die, but in the end, I won't care. Cause I'll be dead. There you go internet, my outlook on life. And I also wish our trains looked like cupcakes.
He must be Irish
2719755
AW CRAP THEY ARE ONTO US EVERYONE RUN