The Tale of Snailswirl

by Agro

Chapter 1: Going for broke

]The tale of Snailswirl: Going for broke

990 years ago

Starswirl rubbed his long, white beard as he looked on at the big jousting arena. Unlike everypony else however, he was not cheering but than again, he wasn't exactly watching the ponies in the arena. Instead, his eyes were trained on the crowd and all of the different emotions that each person displayed. Joy, excitement but Starswirl wasn't focusing on that. No, instead he was looking at something more... something... less jovial.

“Is something wrong, Starswirl?”

Starswirl shook himself out of the daze, “What?”

Turning to his right Starswirl saw his teacher, Celestia who seemed confused at him.

“I'm asking if everything is alright. After all, this is a celebration and you really should be celebrating.”

Starswirl scoffed, “Please Princess, I'm 83 years old. I don't have time to waste celebrating.”

Celestia merely shook her head before giving him a disappointed look, “It's always something with you isn't it... but if that is to be the case, why have you chosen to come?”

Starswirl stroked his beard once again as he closed his eyes, “I've just been thinking about destinies.”

“Destinies?”

“You know, cutie marks.” Starswirl said gesturing to his own flank that showed a whirlpool with a star at the center, “And I keep thinking of how... troublesome they are.

Starswirl pointed towards the crowds, “After all, look at this audience... So many ponies gathered here to watch these so called 'Wonderbolts'. Can you not see the envy in their eyes? Wishing they could be them? And yet, fate decided otherwise. Quite tragic.”

“You don't have to be so pessimistic all the time my student. After all, they seem to be enjoying themselves and their destinies... Why can't you?”

Starswirl turned back to the race, his face turning bitter, “They accept their destinies my princess and I don't believe they really enjoy it.”

“I think you're over thinking it my student.”

“And I think you've forgotten princess Luna too quickly.” Starswirl said injecting quite a deal more venom into those words than he usually did.

Celestia barely held in a gasp.

“My apologies Princess for bringing it up but it's just... I keep thinking about that battle. How it turned out and I wonder if things could have been different had she more... freedom.”

Celestia took a deep breath as the pain of those memories returned to her. “Her punishment is... temporary.”

Celestia looked down as she said this pawing at the soil. “And I'm sure that once she has returned she'll accept her destiny as the raiser of the moon and stars once again. And everything will be well again.”

“Perhaps Princess, but the point remains that her so called 'destiny' ended with her being trapped on the moon for a thousand years and punishing her into accepting her destiny hardly seems fair...” Starswirl's eyes turned forlorn.

“And other the years I've come to understand why she did all of it... she was trapped... helpless. It was as though her whole life had been planned out and she had no say over… anything. Not only that, but the longer I live, the more it seems that what destiny has decided for us is... really not for the best.”

Starswirl shifted to stand up.

“That's why I've decided... That from this day forward, I, Starswirl the Bearded, will develop a whole new spell. One to change a pony's destiny!”

---

Present time

Snails was always an early riser. After all, the earlier he got up, the less time he would spend at home and the lower the chance he would actually see his parents. Sitting outside the schoolhouse, Snails was earlier than even Cherilee at this dark hour leaving him nothing better to do but throw rocks at the tree. Focusing, his horn sputtered to life as he began to sweat. The rocks around him began to tremble before finally rising slowly. Snails gritted his teeth.

Come on!

Finally with a loud scream, Snails threw himself up onto his hind legs before lurching forward sending the rocks at the tree impacting with some light thuds.

Breathing heavily, Snails collapsed on all fours.

I'm never gonna get better.

---

After another hour and several more attempts, the sun was well enough in the sky and Cheerilee had finally appeared in the distance.

Giving his teacher a wave, he smiled as she got closer to open the door.

“Honestly Snails, I've never had such a devoted student before.” Cheerilee said giving him a gentle smile, “Now is there something you need help?”

“Nope!” Snails said with a grin. I hope she doesn't ask me if I did the homework.

“Now did you do the homework or did you forget... again?”

Damnit! Snails smacked his face before looking down, “No Ms. Cheerilee.”

“Well, get to it then, we still have an hour.” she said as she finally opened the door.

“Awwwwwwwww hay!” Snails said as he trudged behind her.

Cheeriee gave chuckle, “Well don't be like that, after all, all this will help you when you're older.”

Assuming I don't become a garbage pony or something like everypony thinks.

Finally reaching his desk, Snails threw his saddlebag on top of it but as he did, the crude patches that held it together ripped apart sending pencils and paper in all directions.

“Augh...” Snails said as his head drooped down.

Getting some help from Cheerilee, the two painstakingly picked up all of his things and set them back on his desk.

“Honestly, how old is this bag of yours? It seems like every other week it's coming apart. I must have a talk with your-”

“NO!” Snails said eyes wide.

Cheerilee backed up a little from him as his frantic gaze.

“I-I uh, I means, uhm... they are getting me a new one soon.” Snails said mustering a fake smile.

Cheerilee gave him a look before biting her bottom lip.

“Besides, they are out late. Really late. And they are really busy.”

This part was actually true hence, why he tried to sleep pretty early.

Cheerilee now gave him a stare through her right eye, “Hmmmmmm...”

Snails tried to smile even wider.

“Alright.” She said finally backing up, “But this cannot do. I mean, look at these horrible stitches.”

Cheerilee sighed before brightening up again, “Tell you what, you finish your homework and I will fix up your bag, alright?” She said as she revealed a needle and spool from her desk.

Snails nodded vigorously.

Running back to his seat he let out a breath of relief. He certainly didn't want Cheerilee to meet his parents after all.

Taking out his worksheet, Snails looked them over.

What is a cutie mark?

Even Snails knew the answer to this basic question. A cutie mark was supposed to be something that appeared once you demonstrated or realized your what you would do for the rest of your life. Or at least, that was supposed to be the case. In Snails' case however, his appeared under more... stressful circumstances and it was quite ambiguous as to what actually caused his to appear. It didn't help matters that once his parents saw the stupid looking snail on his rump, they gave him the tongue lashing of a lifetime and worse. Still, that was supposed to be the answer.

Continuing on, Snails slowly struggled through all the questions ranging from math to geography trying his best but failing most of them. Giving a sigh he finally decided that he tried enough and simply let his face plant itself onto the desk with thump.

It was then that the Snails heard the door creak open. Looking back up Snails rolled his eyes. It was one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sweetie Belle.

Great... just great.

Sweetie Belle came in jumping up and down like a basketball with her usual smile.

“Hey Ms. Cheerilee, how are you doing?” She said with her usual pep.

“Oh, I am doing wonderfully Sweetie Belle, thank you for asking.”

“Whatcha doin?”

“Oh, just fixing up Snails' saddlebag.”

“Maybe I can help!” Sweetie Belle asked/pleaded as she touched the bag, “Maybe I can get my Cutie Mark as a tailor!”

“Uhm...” Cheerilee said wincing a little, “How about another time? Why don't you just talk with Snails for now?”

“Okay!”

Sweetie quickly bounced over to his side as Snails smacked his face again.

“Hello!”

“Uh, hi.”

The two sat their silently for what seemed like an eternity and finally, Sweetie Belle just snapped.

“How did you get your cutie mark?”

Snails knew that one of the crusaders would ask him eventually seeing as how they were asking everypony but he still wanted to groan.

“I dunno.”

“What do you mean you don't know?” she responded as she cocked her head to the side.

“I just... don't know okay?”

“You don't remember anything?” Sweetie Belle asked furrowing her tiny nonexistant eyebrows.

Snails shook his head.

Sweetie Belle drooped at this and sighed.

“When will I ever get my Cutie Mark?” She said looking up the heavens, “I can't wait any longer!”

“Why do you even want your Cutie Mark so badly?” Snails retorted finally sick and tired of their complaints.

Sweetie Belle seemed shocked that such a question could even be asked, “What do you mean why? This way we can figure what we're destined to do and best of all, people will stop making fun of us and call us 'blank flanks'!”

Snails gave as exasperated look at her before leaning closer to whisper, “You mean Diamond Tiara?”

Sweetie Belle nodded sadly.

Snails just shook his head at this as he rolled his eyes, “You... you do know that Diamond Tiara makes fun of everyone... right? She's just a stinking sow.”

“But... she always makes fun of us more.” Sweetie Belle said as her lower lip trembled.

“She does that because you always fight with her.”

“Well why don't you? She always calls ya dumb!” Sweetie Belle said accidentally shouting the last part forcing Snails to tell her to hush with his hands.

“That's cuz my dad works for her dad... If my dad ever found out that I caused him trouble...” Snails shivered at the last part.

Sweetie cocked her head to side at this. She obviously didn't get the last part. How nice it must be.

“Furthermore, what if you didn't like your cutie mark?”

“Excuse me?”

“What... if... you didn't like... your cutie mark?”

“How could I not like my cutie mark?” Sweetie Belle said rubbing her mane.

“Okay,” Snails letting a breath out in exasperation, “What if you had a cutie mark like... mine?”

Sweetie Belle looked at his flank before cringing slightly.

“Exactly.”

Sweetie Belle quickly tried to compose herself realizing that she may have insulted Snails. “I mean, it could be okay.”

“You don't have to lie.”

“No... uhm... it could be...” Sweetie Belle tried hard to think, “A french chef?”

“Yeah, that's not it. Remember that day we were supposed to bake cookies?”

Sweetie Belle blanched. That was not a fun memory and she still felt like there was stuff caught in her mane still.

“And what about walking everywhere and everyone staring at it? I'd rather be a blank flank any day of the week. So tell me Sweetie Belle, what then? What if you got a cutie mark like mine.”

“I... I don't...”

“That's right. So maybe you should just stop complaining and just be happy that you could still have an amazing destiny. The best people expect of me is to care for the animals at the zoo in Canterlot so just chill alright?”

Sweetie Belle looked down, “Well... you don't have to be so mean about it.”

“Well then stop whining. Your problems could just as easily be worse once you actually get it.”

Sweetie Belle sidled in her seat and finally, silence seemed to reestablish itself.

“Just so you know though, I don't think you're cutie mark is that bad. And I would never make fun of it.”

Snails had to pause at this. It wasn't often that he heard people say nice things to him. “Uhm... thanks.”

“And who knows, maybe you're cutie mark might having some great in store.”

Snails merely grunted.

Right.

---

Finally... recess

The day had been long and quite frankly, Snails' brain felt like it was on fire with him feeling like an idiot half the time. Talking with Snips about the usual, Snails was finally beginning to relax but unfortunately... she ruined things as usual.

“Get out of my way!” The shrill voice said from behind him.

Turning to face her, Snails and Snips parted to allow Diamond Tiara and her friend, Silver Spoon.

“That's better...” She said as she walked past them, “freaks.”

Snails bit his tongue.

Just keep quiet Snails...

“I'm so glad that we don't have disgusting stupid cutie marks like these losers.” Silver Spoon said with a sneer, “I mean, what do you even do?”

“Well... uh... I want to be a barber.”

Snails clenched his eyes shut.

Snips, what are you doing?

The two fillies burst into laughter shocking the pudgy little colt.

“You!?” they said through their laughter, “Who would anyone want to get a haircut from you?”

Snips looked crestfallen at this. His ears flapping down and his tail drooping.

“I mean, look at you!” Silver Spoon said pointing at him, “You're so fat and short!”

Keep it together buddy...

Snails really hoped that they'd leave at this point and felt like gnawing his hooves off in stress.

“Besides, even if someone let's you close to them, you'd just muck it up with greasy fat hooves!”

The two were almost on their knees at this point in their pointless laughter as Snails moved over to put a hoof on Snips shoulder. They'll be done soon he whispered to him and they could go on with their lives.

“Hey!”

Oh no...

The four looked to the source and right there was Sweetie Belle glaring at the two fillies.

“Leave them alone!”

Oh NO!

“Yeah, why're ya such bully!”

That unmistakable southern accent had to be Applebloom.

Oh crapsickles.

“YEAH!” A third voice came which was of course Scootaloo who was now holding a ball of mud.

She's not going to...

Which she then threw at Diamond Tiara's face.

Well, I'm screwed.

Diamond Tiara's face was full of shock at this point. Then came the tears.

I am really screwed.

“I... am gonna have my daddy fire all of your parents!” Diamond wailed indignantly, “And you'll all be on the street!”

Snails sighed at this. This was probably the worst it could get anyway so...

Oh what the hay, may as well go for broke.

“Uh... You know what Diamond Tiara?” Snails said trying to get rid of that knot in his stomach, “You're a...”

He felt something catch in his throat. Swallowing he forced himself to continue.

“You're a mule-faced, sheep-brained, donkey-butt who nobody likes! And I hope you get the trots... and horseflies! Lots of horseflies!”

She was now livid.

“My daddy is going to fire your daddy!” She screeched causing everyone to cover their ears. Then, turning around, she ran back into the school. “CHEERILEE! I WANT MY DADDY!”

As soon as she left however, everyone was gaping at Snails.

“That was awesome” Scootaloo said hopping up and down.

“Yeah!”

“You da stallion!”

“I can't believe you did that!”

Yeah, neither can I...

As Snails tried his best to smile at everyone he couldn't help but think about what he was going to do next. One thing was for sure though, it didn't involve going home. Ever. Breaking into a run from the other students who's look turned into confusion, Snails ran for it. There was no going back now.

Comments

[MrMonotone]

This is a pretty good idea for a fic, the question of whether cutie marks are descriptive or proscriptive is one that is interesting to try and answer. There are a few grammatical errors here and there. "Just so you know you're cutie mark isn't that bad" is an example, as well as the typo at the top of the page. Overall it's pretty promising, I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it.

[DetectivePingles]

Hey man! I'm an editor/proofreader and I'd like to help! I do a bit of writing in my spare time so I could be your ideas bouncer-offer too. Pm me if you're interested.

[skidude2000]

Great story so far; it has a lot of potential, and I find the topic to be a very interesting one that provides lots of room to expand new ideas. Good use of dialogue contrasted with Snail's own thoughts. Keep it up, I'm really interested to see where this goes.

[skidude2000]

Any chance for an update soon?

[Agro]

2449554 Not anytime soon sorry. I feel like the story isn't too popular and I kind of want to write some shorter works first.

[skidude2000]

2450992
I understand. It's too bad more people haven't read this, because I think it's a very promising start to a story. Hope you decide to revisit it in the future.

[Tachyon Xenophile]

Interesting.

[Lotharin]

Really sad that this hasn't been continued. I love snails fics, and look forward to this ever being continued!