Ballad of a Pirate

by Skywing the Mutant

Brickwood (Incomplete)

Stormy Night's POV, beginning of day 1

Ok, first thing's first: coffee, I thought to myself as I flew away from the group. It didn't take long to find a target: a small time café. I made sure I had what I needed and, with a shifty glance around, entered the establishment. One camera above the cash register... "Hello, may I take your order?" a chirpy unicorn made asked behind the counter.

I leaned in close, motioning for her to do the same, and whispered, "I want all your coffee." With the words, I dropped a rather large bag of bits on the counter.

"Y... yes ma'am." Said the rather surprised mare, who turned around, and began brewing. I walked over to one of the chairs, and sat down.

"You know, from the look on your face, I thought you are going to rob the place," a stallion sitting near me said in a joking tone.

“Oh believe me, I was considering it.” I said plainly, stretching in the chair, which was surprisingly comfortable by the way.

The stallion began to lean away from me, probably looking for an escape. “Um... Okay...”

I let out a small chuckle, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything.”

The stallion stopped leaning and looked directly at me. “Okay, I’m going to trot away now.”

“You do that.” I muttered as I curled up on the chair, and waited for my coffee to be done.

Nearly two hours later, I walked out of the coffee shop, the owner of which was actually dancing with joy. I pulled behind me a cart with eight barrels of coffee, a really long straw, and a fuckton of change. After a little bit of walking and drinking the coffee from the barrels.

It didn’t take long for something to catch my eye, four guys on a four person swing. One earth pony stallion, one satyr, and two slim minotaurs with their hands on the crossbar. I decided to stay and watch since they were making it halfway up, until one of the minotaurs fell on the crossbar then landed behind the second one in the dirt and the swing hit him on the way back. I laughed so hard I spat out some coffee. The swing stopped and the guys gave me a funny look. “I’m so sorry, I just haven’t seen anything like that before.”

The satyr scoffed, “You must’a been livin’ under a rock or somethin’. We’re tryin’ ta prove our skills.”

I managed to calm myself down as the minotaur who got off with the satyr hit him in the shoulder. “Damn homes, you really need to lighten up.” He spoke with a mexican accent.

“Well it’s true. We’ve been trying to show off what we can do for weeks now!” The satyr said, with a huff, “The crowds throw off our beat, though.”

“You don’t need to insult her like that. She’s a filly.” The Minotaur retorted, as the stallion went to help the other minotaur. “What’s your name anyways, filly?”

“What’s it matter to you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly, as I sipped from one of the barrels of coffee. By Celestia this straw is useful.

“Maybe you want to hang with us, I don’t know.” The Minotaur answered, as he scratched his head. “Maybe uh, we could do- OH!” The satyr punched him in the balls, causing the minotaur to lean forward and grab his crotch.

“That’s Skinny, I’m Shorty, and behin’ me is Crazy and Pony.” The satyr explained. “Now that you know who we is, what’s ya gonna do?”

I sighed, knowing he did that so I would feel obliged to tell him my name. Still, not going to tell them the real thing, “I’m Lighting Chaser.” I said, getting an urge to mention how their ‘names’ aren’t even that, just minor observations.

“So is that your real name, or is just what you want us to call you?” Asked the one I assumed was crazy.

“I could ask you the same question.” I retorted.

“They’re just some names we came up with last sunday. See, we were calling each other names just for the hell of it and... those names just sort of stuck.” Pony answered as he trotted in front of the group.

“I’m gonna to get your ass for this.” Skinny pointed at Shorty as he began to stand upright.

“Jus’ try it, Skinny.” Shorty said, a grin on his face

“While they’re settling their thing, can I ask you if you want to hang with us?” Pony asked while Skinny and Shorty had their argument.

“Of course you can ask.” I said bluntly, “What you say is up to you.”

“Okay, suits yourself.” Pony turned to the other guys. “Hey come on, let’s get to that sign. I wanna see if we can break it.” Shorty and Skinny ended their momentary feud and looked at Pony.

“Last chance, but here’s something to think about. We know this city and you look like you just flew into town.” Crazy said as the four of them began to walk away.

Fuck, they used logic. I never expected that from them... I thought, but what he said was true, I didn’t know my way around. I let out a sigh, and followed them.

“Trust me, you won’t regret this.”Crazy said as he looked at me before turning to Skinny. “Hey Skinny, didn’t you want to get those nunchucks?”

“Hell, yah! Let’s get go get ‘em!” Skinny shouted, breaking into a run that, with a cart of coffee, it was hard to keep up with.

“It’ll be nice to see him use something other than those foam childrens toys.” Pony said out loud as he galloped behind Shorty.

I just hope none of the crew sees me with these guys... I thought to myself, feeling a shudder running down my spine, as I watched Shorty trip and fall, Pony tripping over him. Definitely not my kind of crowd. Skinny rushed into a convenience store and the other three stayed outside.

“Anyone else thinks think he’s gonna hurt himself?” Shorty asked as he watched his friend in the shop.

“Isn’t that the fun of it?” Pony said, laughing slightly.

In less than thirty seconds later Skinny came back out. “Deal done, I has the chucks.” He raised them into the air.

“All right, let’s do this!” Shorty shouted, eliciting a very small cheer of approval from the others. Ok, I’ll just watch them hurt themselves a couple times, and leave. That’s all. I thought to myself.

Skinny started out pretty good, swinging the chucks close to his body. But it didn’t take long for something to happen. He cried out as the chucks hit his crotch as he tried to switch hands. His friends began to laugh at him. “Help, I need mouth to balls resuscitation.”

Ok, so this is definitely just these guys laughing at each other's pain... I thought to myself, Eh, a good bit of slapstick never hurt anyone... Other than these guys. I added the last part as Skinny began to get up, clutching his... you know.

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Northern Sprint’s POV, beginning of day 1

Everyone trotted in different directions, with the obvious exception of Star and Thor. Me? I went to a high-end establishment where one makes informed guesses for possible outcomes on which money is placed... Otherwise known as a gambling den. The place itself wasn’t anything special, just your average back-alley games house. Though it seemed to specialize in cards more than anything.

Author's Note:

I honestly think this is the premature end of Ballad of a Pirate. It's a real shame that I won't be able to use the ideas I had planned for this fic. Even though he did relinquish all the aspects of this fic to me, I don't think it's right to continue without him.