Chapter Six
Just Act Natural
Right now, mentally, I am applying my hoof to my face. Repeatedly.
“What the fuck were you thinking!? Seriously! Could you not see where that was going!? You were -just- talking to Twilight about the problems invoking narration, and then you pull the classical, ‘two people arguing with the one who talks reason in charge watching’ skit! With ponies!”
Rarity looks at Twilight pleadingly. “Twilight, darling, there is just simply no time this month! I have things that I need to do! Dresses I need to make, places I need to go! I mean...” she blinks lifts a hoof and opens her mouth desperately, trying to find something to fit into her schedule.
I personally don’t want to deal with Rarity this month either. I mean, sooner or later, I will have to deal with her, but I’d rather it be later - much later - that I deal with her. It wouldn’t hurt to help her out now. It might pay off when she actually has to teach me. I lean over to Rarity and whisper in her ear. “What about Opal?”
“Yes! What about my Opal?! If animals react poorly to Heart-” She begins. I cough, frowning at her. “-H.B., then what about my poor Opal? I wouldn’t want her to get her claws covered in any blood!”
I glare at Rarity. “Gee. Thanks Rarity. For a second I thought you cared...”
“I do care! With you being from a different world, there is no telling what you brought with you!” Rarity replies, trying to give a better explanation for her choice of words.
Twilight shoots a look that causes the both of us to stiffen up. “Enough. I have made up my mind about this.” She paces a bit, looking at the ground before turning her gaze back to the both of us. “Rarity, I’m not buying the excuse that you don’t have any time. I have seen you do dress work faster in less time. As far as Opal goes, you can have Fluttershy look after her.”
Fuck, the both of us pushed Twilight to the point where she is acting sorta like a military general. I bite my lip and realize that I am nearly standing, ‘at attention,’ or at least the pony equivalent of it. Twilight then walks up to me and starts to put a hoof up to my shoulder. Almost instantly I flinch. She pulls back in surprise. “Is there something the matter, H.B.?”
“No Petty Officer!” I shout almost on instinct. I quickly cover my mouth with a hoof and look at both of them. Alright, I wasn’t in the military for that long, really. Just a year and four months, enough time to go through boot camp and some electrical training. But I guess old habits stick when you are under stress. “I mean... uhm, no Twilight, there is nothing wrong.”
“Good!” Twilight replies cheerfully.
“But Twilight, I am taking a trip next week!” Rarity says practically begging.
Now I’m not sure whether or not I should be cheering for Rarity. I’m kinda feeling a bit... neglected? No... pushed aside? Sorta... maybe? Like I’m not important or even worth her time? Close! Seriously what the fuck? I’m not sure what I am feeling, but I don’t really like it.
“Then take her with you. It’ll do her some good to see more of Equestria. And while she’s gone, hopefully the local rumor mill will find somepony else to talk about,” Twilight explains. She looks at me expectantly. Crap.
My ears droop and I look down at the ground. “What?”
She looks at me questioningly. “Aren’t you going to say something or at the very least protest?”
I kick my hoof. “I don’t see why I should. You’ve already made up your mind about what is going to happen here. I was a bad p-p-pony and now I’m paying for it.” I want to add, ‘like I always do,’ but I’ve already gotten my point across, no need to share my emoness with these two any further. I turn towards the stairs. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I think I am going to go upstairs and write in my journal.”
Twilight’s magic lifts one of the books from the shelf in front of me. “Are you going to go upstairs to mope about this whole event?” I really want to protest the idea that I’m moping here. I mean, I just found out that the stupid mark on my flanks might cause other ponies emotional pain! And then there was the argument with Rarity...
Though, I’ll admit that, for a few seconds, as stupid and pointless as that little spat between us was: It was kind of... fun. I am not sure what I was enjoying about it, other than, ‘hee, I’m upsetting Rarity.’ But, as they say hindsight is twenty-twenty. I’m sure that there are going to be repercussions to this. Particularly with the Spike department.
I roll my eyes. “Maybe, unless you can give me a good reason not to.”
“I can give you three good reasons not to,” she says sternly. I feel my face twitch. Great, she’s going to give me something that I am sure is covered by a trope website somewhere out there. Better ask the question.
I try pushing the book away, “And they are?”
“First, I don’t want you moping all the time. It isn’t healthy. Second, there is the job that you are getting paid to do. If you don’t do it, then you don’t get paid.” She sets the book down in front of me.
“And the last reason?”
Twilight looks me in the eyes and places a hoof on my shoulder. I flinch. Knowing what my mark does now, I am starting to wonder if it is safe for anyone to touch me. “The last reason, or I should say, 'reasons', are behind that door waiting for you to read to them.”
Good grief, that’s some of the worst after school special logic I have ever heard. I glance down at the book and roll my eyes. “Twilight, do you seriously want me to go back out there after what just happened? I’m pretty sure that I freaked out the lot of them and, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that the library is sound proof. I’m pretty sure that they heard us yelling and arguing.”
“Well, then. I am going to have to correct you due to the fact that you are indeed wrong,” Twilight states in a matter of fact manner. “The walls here are pretty solid.” Fuck, that’s right, the library is made out of a carved tree. She then looks at me sympathetically. “And yes, I do want you to go back out there.”
Rarity raises a hoof. “Twilight, darling, I hate to side with her on this, but do you really think it is wise to allow her to return? After all, that one filly-”
“Cream Puff, and thanks for the vote of confidence, Rarity,” I mutter.
“Pardon?” Rarity asks.
“Her name was Cream Puff,” I reply, rolling my eyes. Great, now I remember it. Good for you brain!
She gives me an odd look. I don’t seem to be able to place it. “Right. Cream Puff was rather upset when H.B. left, and the others are bound to ask questions.”
“Pinkie and Fluttershy should have helped calmed the group down by now. Plus if H.B. leaves without any explanation, they are going to tell their parents and guardians about this event,” Twilight explains.
I facehoof at this again. “Which of course will give even more things for the rumor mill to chew on...”
“Exactly,” Twilight replies. Fuck, I hate admitting this, but Twilight seems to be on her game today.
I tap my hoof and think over the options here. “Go upstairs, mope and write line after line of emo garbage in my journal, argue with Twilight some more or go out there and,” I swallow hard. “go back to reading to a group of colts and fillies.”
I sigh, roll my eyes and lean down to pick up the book that Twilight placed before me. “Fine, but I don’t have a clue what to tell them about my slight freak out, and run away.”
“Do what you did with Dib. Make up a reasonable excuse.” What the fuck? Why the fuck is Twilight sounding more rational this month than last? I kinda want to nitpick about the morality that Twilight is pushing here with lying to colts and fillies, but I don’t want to be called out by Rarity for more whining.
“How long does ‘summer reading’ last, Twilight?” I ask with the stupid book in my mouth.
She looks at the clock over my shoulder and smiles a bit. “Just another half an hour.”
“And then I’m free to do whatever I please?” I ask.
Twilight’s face kinda wrinkles. “If that’s what you want H.B., then yes. However...”
I quirk an eye. Fuck, here come the fucking strings. “However?”
She plucks the book from my lips. “You might want to choose a book more suited to the age group you’re reading for.”
I take a glance down at the book she pulled out of my mouth, “The Advanced Guide to Magical Botanical Life of Ponyville and Surrounding Areas...” I read neutrally. “Yeah. I think I’ll stick with, ‘Danger Mare,’ and,” I grimace a bit, “‘Heartshine Sparkle.’”
==============================================================
“That’s the spirit!” Twilight replied. The only response from Heartbreak she got was a grumble before putting on what appeared to be a fake smile before walking out the door. There wasn’t the same cheering that could be heard before this time.
Fluttershy had Cream Puff laying over her front hooves while she was reading a story called, ‘The Hungry Bunny.’ Pinkie was sitting along side the rest of the colts and fillies, listening and eating cookies happily. Heartbreak slowly walked over to Fluttershy and sat down next to her.
“And the hungry bunny sat down with his family and they all had a big dinner of roasted carrots. The end,” Fluttershy said, looking to her side. “Oh, H.B., you’ve returned. That’s wonderful! Would you like to continue reading?”
Twilight watched Heartbreak’s face the best she could from the small crack in the door. She let out a sigh. “Uhm... well, only if they want me to.”
Fluttershy smiled and looked at the group. “Well everypony, what do you say? Would you like her to continue reading to you all?”
“Yeah?” One of them said questioningly.
“I don’t see why not,” Another one replied.
Marrs munched on his cookie and then took a gulp of apple juice. “Neither do I, I mean as long as she does the voices again.”
Cream Puff leaned over and looked up at Heartbreak. “Yer the best reader ah’ve had, Missus H.B.” She proceeded to crawl over Fluttershy’s hooves and took up new residence on Heartbreak’s. “T-t-thank ya for comin’ back...”
Heartbreak looked wide-eyed at the young filly laying over her hooves with a blush on her face. “Uhm... y-you’re welcome, Cream Puff.”
“Why’d you leave in the first place?” A green filly in the back asked.
“What’s your name again?” Heartbreak asked.
“Mint Cream,” She replied.
“Right, Mint Cream, well uhm, you see,” Heartbreak sighed. “Two reasons: One... I’m not used to, uhm situations like what just happened.”
“What did just happen?” Marrs asked though a mouth of cookie.
Heartbreak looked down. “Cream Puff happened to hug me on a part of my body with some very bad scars on it. They happen to be on both sides of my legs.”
Marrs looked interested. “How do you get scars on both sides of your legs?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Marrs,” Heartbreak replied.
“Awww! Come on! I want to know!” Marrs whined.
Heartbreak looked at him in a deadpanned manner. “When I was younger, I fell down some stairs into a box of really sharp ink pens. They went pretty deep and I was in the hospital for several weeks due to some ink poisoning.” The group let out a collective uncomfortable murrer, while both Pinkie and Fluttershy fake a cringe. “And that’s why I don’t like talking about it. So, what book shall we read first?”
Cream Puff looked up at Heartbreak really sadly. “Ah’m sorry, H.B.!”
Heartbreak paused, looking at Cream Puff’s face. She awkwardly patted her on the head. “It’s alright, Cream Puff. It just hurts every now and again, so try to steer clear of it. And you didn’t know. But now you all know.”
“And knowing is half the battle!” Pinkie said cheerfully.
Heartbreak gave her a questioning look. “Riiiiiight.”
“How often does it hurt, H.B.?” Cream Puff asked.
Heartbreak looked to her side. “Everyday...” She replied distantly. A small quiet went through the room. Heartbreak coughed and then shook her head. “So! What would you all like me to read!?”
Mint Cream offered up a book. “Read mine!”
“‘My Secret Garden?’” Heartbreak asked.
Marrs grumbled. “I wanted more Danger Mare..”
Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Maybe later, Marrs.” Cream Puff smiled, looking up at Heartbreak before sniffling a bit. “Are you alright, Cream Puff?” She asked.
“Ah’m better, but still a little sad,” she replied.
Heartbreak face drooped, but then it perked up when she looked up. “Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie looked around then pointed at herself. “Who me?”
Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Do you see any other Pinkies around here?”
Pinkie looked more than a little horrified. “I hope not! More than one of me is always bad news!”
Heartbreak chuckled under her breath. “That’s for sure, however, I was wondering if you have chocolate stashed around Ponyville. You know, in case of chocolate emergencies.”
Pinkie bounced up. “Do I?!” She quickly zipped over to one bookshelves. She looked around quickly and snagged a book from the top shelf. She crept back to the group as if she possessed some marvelous treasure.
“The Sweet Secret to My Success?” Fluttershy asked, looking at the cover. “Pinkie, H.B. asked for-”
“Oh Fluttershy! I know what she asked for!” Pinkie replied opening the book. Upon which everypony could see that there was an assortment of truffle chocolates.
“Can she have one, Pinkie?” Heartbreak asked.
“Well, of course she can have one, silly! Everypony can have one!” She said happily passing them out.
Twilight kept watching the group, particularly Cream Puff. It almost felt like Heartbreak was up to something, but she wasn’t sure what. At least not until a broad smile crept back over Cream Puffs face.
“How do you feel now, Cream Puff?” She asked.
“Much better!” Cream Puff replied happily, through a mess of chocolate.
“Remember, colts and fillies: Chocolate fixes everything.” Heartbreak said with a weak smile.
“I’ll eat to that!” Pinkie said gobbling up a truffle.
“Right, now bring that book here, Mint,” Heartbreak said.
Twilight closed the door and let out a sigh of relief. She looked at her bookshelf and started scanning the titles.
Rarity blinked. “Well, that went a lot better than I expected. I don’t know how you managed to keep your composure in all that, Twilight. I half expected you to explode!” She turned and looked at Twilight. “How did you keep so calm? I mean after the little spat that H.B. and I had...”
Twilight started pulling some of the books off the shelf. “Truth be told, Rarity,” She looked at her friend. “I was actually a bit terrified.”
“Well, you were doing a most excellent job of hiding it,” Rarity replied. “But I’m confused. Why were you terrified, exactly? From what I saw, H.B. handled things,” Rarity winced, possibly addmiting she might've be wrong about H.B., “in an adult manner.”
Twilight looked at her friend, the worry finally creeping on her face. “Because, I suspect that H.B. is right.” She cleared the table off and set the books down.
“Right, about what?” Rarity asked.
“Well,” Twilight began as she opened a book in front of her. “She is definitely right about me not knowing anything about the magic that sent her here. And while I am not sure about her, ‘mark being evil.’” Twilight paused. “I think I did see it shift.”
Rarity blinked. “Shift? You mean... it changed? Twilight darling, I may not be as adept as you in the realms of magic as you are, but even I know that cutie marks don’t change.”
Twilight looked at the kitchen door. The thought of that black broken heart on the other side almost burned in her mind. “We both know that Rarity. But as H.B. has clearly stated before, that... that thing isn’t a cutie mark.”
2297928 Exactly.
Obviously the only course of action is RESEARCH.
Again a nice Chapter.
I found it really intresting that Pinkie, who we all know, has something stored all around for emergencies in all of Ponieville. And Choclate helps everypony.
Another thing I found interesting is that H.B. handeled this situation with ease. Since she/he was not a pony before. But lying in my opinion is not a good thing.
Another thing I didn´t like is Raritys bitch behaiviour. Okay she is the element of Generosity but she can behave like a real bitch sometimes. Or in this case the most of the time.
For some reason I really wanna hurt Twilight and Rarity in the worst possible ways that I can think of. And this anger is irrelevant to this chapter.
Somepony who has drawing skills (that group will never include me, unfortunately) should totally draw HB in full camo and with, say, an M249. Or an M60E. Or just something big that is very effective at taking down white sun tyrants.
I said it once and I'll say it again, that filly is adorable!
2301708
Calling Celestia a tyrant sounds wrong to me in this situation. I'd call her response to Heartbreak... extreme, but ultimately the same one I'd choose.
Consider the following:
Celestia's first duty before anything else is to protect her citizens. Heartbreak is an alien that was exiled from another dimension by a council of the most powerful magic users in that dimension. Let me restate that: what Heartbreak did was so bad, and so terrible that she was forcefully ejected from her realm of existence by the beings whose job it was to maintain that realm.
How's Celestia supposed to view that? Heartbreak is an alien criminal whose crimes are so terrible that she is no longer permitted to exist on the plane of existence she was born on. That is not some shit you handle lightly, that's a heavy situation where you do what you gotta do, because if you don't then everyone that looks to to you for protection and guidance could suffer a yet unspecified fate that involves an alien turning into another discord of some sort, and destroying everything. And what she might have to do is lobotomize that freaky alien. I actually consider the fact that Celestia caved and didn't erase Heartbreak's memories to be a strike against her.
On another note, Heartbreak is just so... sympathizable. Despite the fact that he/she is a complete douche and an absolute moron at times, I always feel bad for him/her when crap like the evil cattle-brand/cutie-mark get dropped on her head. I've never read about an individual that I've wanted so much to see punched in the face, and hugged at the same time. I mean he/she is so blindly inconsiderate sometimes it makes me want to scream, and other times there's enough wit and insight and tenderness there that I feel like I'd actually like to have a chat with her and just get know her.
It's all so wonderfully developed. Heartbreak isn't as much as a hero as she is a victim of bother the fae, and herself. The reader isn't forced to like her, just to spend time with her and decide for themselves just how they feel about her. It's all well done, and for me it's what really makes this story standout. Equestria really does feel like hell for her. A hell that's partly of her own making, but one that I'm still not convinced she deserves to be condemned to. I just really like this story.
2301860
TLDR : Somepony can't take a joke
Though I suppose it was uncalled for...
Besides. I think that would either make the sun stop moving which would be bad.
Or the sun would dissapear which would be really really REALLY bad.
Or the sun would explode and everypony would be medium rare'd.
Petty Officer Sparkle is best pony!
i.imagebanana.com/img/lkwtl6bb/HB_8_13_twi.jpg
Finally! I think Twilight is finally starting to trust HB on things.
Also Cream Puff is just to cute for her own good!
2301860 The last part of this commentary made me squee in my pants a little.
Since everything I wanted to say has pretty much already been said I have very little input beyond these two things:
I think that might not be a cutiemark. Just a possibility mind you.
Second is that HB i
2302596 You got turned into a mare. Noaw what?
2302613 Now I'm gonna say HB is adorable and my opinions have not changed.
2302683 *pinches your little horsy cheeks* And now, so are you.
2302698 I am not adorable. I have a hat. Therefor your argument is falsified.
2302719 I have a hat!@
2302723 no you don't. You have a funky hairdo that looks like a hat. There's a difference.
2302705 Just give up in that regard Sam. It's obvious Jet has a deep-seated hatred of Rarity and is just putting her in to show her bitchyness and his complete dislike of her.
2302566
As long as you cleaned up afterwards...
Hmm... fae magic that embeds itself as a tattoo style marking that can shift and causes pain to the bearer, and raises emotional scarring in any who touches it...
Why do I get the feeling that Titania decided to stick a dark little pet in that thing? *now has an image in my mind of that scene from Alien with the baby alien bursting out of the chest, except this time out of H.B.'s flanks* Hmm... that gives me an idea... be right back. *goes off to doodle*
yes yes yes yes yes yes
2306429 I want to see these doodles that you speak of.
2313859 And I shall show them to you.... once I finish them... blasted Bamboo pen is behaving itself about as much as a hyperactive puppy that hasn't been house-trained yet... *grumbles and continues the doodling, biting lower lip for extra concentration points*
Hmm that's odd but then again you don't mess with unknown magic! (I think I'm rambling nonsense now!)
Also chocolate!!!
2313859 And here it is :) One doodle of dark fae monster things coming out of HB's flank mark :)
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/085/2/8/heartbreak_s_cursed_brand_by_jaffaarchfiend-d5zcdew.jpg
Hope you like it
A link is here in case you want the image itself blah blah blah. http://jaffaarchfiend.deviantart.com/art/Heartbreak-s-Cursed-Brand-361694696
Would you believe that, even though I really like this series, I forgot to fave and upvote it when there were 2 chapters in this section?
2339890 That's ok!
2340384 At least I fixed that issue.
2340394 Yus! And you can make up for it with drawings or commentary!
2340460 Commentary it shall be because I have no practice or skill at drawing ponies.
Critic to Writer, Critic to Writer, come in
Writer, this is a critique of your story-series "My Little Heartbreak" so take notice of this would you.Why I haven't written on the other stories is because I wanted to sum up all of it into this chapter you have write. So here it goes:
I have spent many hours and days reading your stories about Heartbreak/H.B and I must say, I have enjoyed every minute of it!
It's a creative and new idea which I haven't seen in many stories in the time I have been here. In reality there are only two people that has had the idea to write a story like this where a male human becomes a female and a pony no less (the other being Psychopath) The main character is very interesting about his past and what will become of him in the future. Strangely I feel like if the Council of nine would want to punish him they would do something worse then what they just did. Because in the past Anthony/Heartbreak has become a dishonest person (there are other negative things could bring up but I don't feel like it) so sending him to EQ he is learning his flaws and failures and becomes a better individual. Not a too bad Punishment if you ask me but I'm going off subject here.
Anyway
I like how the main 6 need to help Heartbreak become a better individual but at the same time helping themselves.The atmosphere of the stories are very well written thought out.
Another thing you do is that you (unlike others) is just writing a simple story, no battles (at least with no swords and sheids) but instead devote on everyday things to make an individual a better one. Just a calm read instead of intense fighting and sex most stories are here.
The Character and world building is very good and I feel like I am in Anthony's/Heartbreak'smind or in the scene watching from a distance. And I feel the emotions the characters are going through, really! Now that is damn good writing.
Now a story doesn't come without its flaws but the only one I can really find is a few spelling errors, reason of editors N' proof-readers fault.
So all in all this story is, in my eyes, Pure gold.
So of a rating of 56 squares to 9,5 stars I give it a 10 hats (Take me Seriously!)
This is Boolyboo, over, and out
Ps: yes, I do wear a spiderman mask and that kind of hat when I'm giving a review just like my profile pic
2350996 Huh.......Never knew or classified those to Magic Gender swapping.
Alright *shakes head* let me rephrase that "In reality there are only two people that I Know that has had the idea to write a story...."
Now, if you excuse me I have some singing to do *Ahem*
Tarantulas
Tarantulas
Everybody Loves Tarantulas
If There's Just Fuzz Where Your Hamster was
It's Probably Because Of Tarantulas
[youtube=DX_rgHHWwv8]
2351583 I have a new song I love.
2351992
freepostermaker.com/uploads/saved_posters/free-poster-6ybr7nz4pa-GLORIOUS!.jpg
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/101/1/8/sweedish_pony_by_thegingergdd-d4vv7gc.jpg
You're quite welcome, now......More Swedish Memes!
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4388150016/h47561916/
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6519146496/hD3A9438C/
French Fry Pizza! Glorious
global3.memecdn.com/Welcome-to-Sweden_o_92280.jpg
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/469/220/ce6.png
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/003/b/2/pony_meme___regular_ordinary_swedish_meal_time_by_twistermon-d5pw01s.jpg
[youtube=aYBkDxao3wg]
(gee, I wonder what country that person comes from)
2302566
I'm pretty sure Princess Celestia knew about the implications of that branding. YAY! Another Sadist/Tyrant Celestia/Molestia who doesn't care about putting "her little ponies" in danger and would rather feed a broken pony to the wolves than share the "magic of friendship" with her!
I hope eventually Celestia has to make up to HB for all the help she hasn't given her.
Hmmm, the fact that the mark is shifting could actually a good sign in my book, assuming it's the type of fae magic I'm thinking of. Well, it's either that or it could be a countdown to death. Not likely considering the circumstances though, so I think I actually have a feel for where this might be leading, cool. Nicely done :)
3185245
Consider what she was trying to do to her in the first place, and consider the fact that it was only the combined interference of Twilight's group and Luna that actually forced her to not go through with her plan. I might be of the group that's more for the individual than for the greater good, but I will admit I see her reasons for her actions and wants. In this particular case that danger is actually less her fault and more those that interfered.
I'm interested with this new mark development, i wonder if the heart will sew it back together, a saving grace by that last one who wasn't entirely sure to expulse him perhaps?
3494308
"Just because you are correct doesn't mean you're right"
Just because it was a correct course of action to take to protect the majority/whole, doesn't mean it was the just course of action to take. She had a massive knee jerk reaction, while we might be able to rationalise her reaction, I refuse to accept a millennia old deity who has seem some really fucked up shit, would react in that way, especially not when she was so nurturing to her star pupil who was a far less depressed version of HB.
Luna acted in the right way, tackling the problem and situation with rationalisation and coming to a temporary resolution with logic rather than emotion. What pisses me off more is that Celestia completely disregarded Luna's opinion simply because Luna hadn't been running Equestria as long as she had, mind you it was Celestia's own fault that Luna was banished to the moon, yes Luna's feelings of envy and jealousy caused her to drift off the rails, but it was her sister's neglect that really nailed the lid of the coffin.
I'm still wondering when 'she' will finally point out that they took EVERYTHING about her old life and they realize that one extra aspect