Song and Dance
Chapter 29
Song and Dance
Spike sighed as Rarity had explained the full of the situation. “Geez, that is so convoluted! I don’t get why Twilight didn’t let me in on the know in the first place! Don’t they trust me? Come on! I can keep secrets!” He picked up a plate of the sausages. He wasn’t sure what H.B. liked about them, but he was sure to need them if he wanted to get her talking, let alone back to the party.
As he strode to the door leading outside, he saw the Prince looking positively frightened while looking out the window. Blueblood turned and looked at the little dragon, recognizing him on sight. Spike snorted and glared at the Prince who jumped back and cowered away back to his two remaining friends.
“What a fetting jerk. First Rarity, now H.B.?” He shook his head and rolled his eyes. Walking out the door he beheld the sight of a shattered H.B. He took a deep breath. As he approached her she turned away.
“Sooo,” he started.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Heartbreak curtly replied.
Spike looked at Heartbreak and rubbed his temples. “Look, we both know that something is wrong. Now, we can either stand outside and dance around the issue, or we can actually talk about it, confront the issue and maybe get over it.”
Heartbreak rolled her eyes. “Have I become that predictable?”
Spike tapped his chin. “Haven’t you asked that question before?”
Heartbreak facehoofed as she leaned over the balcony. “If you have to ask that question, then I already know the answer. And the answer is, an overwhelming, ‘Yes.’ Fine.” She looked at Spike. “I’ll talk about what’s wrong...”
Spike smiled. “Good old Spike charm! I’ve gotten pretty good at this whole, ‘phycho-’ uhm...’psychological?’ Yeah! Psychological thing.” He lifted his plate and offered Heartbreak one of the sausages. She gave a half smile and snagged one of the mini-sausage looking things.
“Mmm.” She rolled her eyes a bit. “Alright, you know how I said that I was alright when we first got to-” Heartbreak paused and turned back to leaning her head on the balcony. “Whinneapolis...”
“Yeah?” Spike asked, setting his plate down on a table before hopping on a bench next to the distressed pony.
“Yeah, I wasn’t being completely truthful there. And here I thought I was supposed to have learned the lesson of, ‘be honest with yourself.’ I guess it’s easier said than actually done.” She waggled a hoof in the air. “I was really freaked out when I discovered this gem of a city. I mean... in a lot of ways it’s really like where I’m from. The buildings, the atmosphere, a great number of the landmarks.”
“So it reminds you of home.” Spike scratched his head. “That’s good, right?”
Heartbreak shook her hooves in the air and bit her lip before almost slamming them on the granite rail. She stopped herself and then merely tapped them before hugging herself. “No. It’s not good.”
Spike rubbed his head. “I’m confused. How is this not a good thing? I mean if it is almost like where you once lived, then when you get back into harmony, maybe you could move here. Find a new home, make a new life, right?”
Heartbreak merely shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Spike.”
“Why?”
Heartbreak looked at the city line with a rather fervent glare. “Because it’s not the same! I mean it’s almost the same, but it’s different! And it feels like the universe is mocking me with it!” She took on a derpy sounding tone. “Oh, hey! How can we mess with H.B. today! We’ve done all the small things! Let’s do something big! Hurrr! I know! A whole fetting city! No! I got something better! Two whole fetting cities! That’s pretty big! Hurrr!”
“Whoa! Whoa! H.B.! Calm down...I’m still not sure I get where you’re coming from here,” Spike said, frowning. “I mean-”
Heartbreak sighed. “It looks like it’s story time.”
“Wait, what? Story time?” Spike asked.
“Yeah. Storytime with H.B. ‘Cause I don’t know any other way of explaining it. And it seems like it’s what I am good at.”
“Whoa, whoa! Wait a second. This isn’t going to be like that story that you told Twilight about her turning into a gryphon and not being herself any more is it?” Spike asked hoping that he could avoid this, ‘storytime,’ thing that Heartbreak did from time to time.
Heartbreak looked thoughtful. “It’s sorta like that. Yeah. But not quite. Just hear me out, kay?”
Spike sighed. “Alright...”
“I’ll make it much simpler and not so complicated.” She tapped on her chin and then the railing. “Alright, I got it. And yes, it does have transformation in it. But roll with me on this.”
“Alright...” “You can do this, Spike. Even if her stories tend to seem to be long winded and kinda pointless... They make her feel better and she can get out what she needs to.”
“Alright. One day you and Twilight are in the library and Twilight is working on some new magic. As she is getting close to something, an accidental burst of magic happens! An accidental burst that happens to hit you and transforms you, Spike the Dragon, into Spike the normal earth pony.”
“Just a normal earth pony?” Spike asked.
“Yup..” She tapped her hoof on the railing.
“What’s my cutie mark?” Spike asked inquisitively.
“Don’t interrupt me when I’m setting up a story, Spike,” Heartbreak said, looking at the city distantly.
“Right, sorry... I just wanted to-” Spike began.
“It would be a red ruby crystal heart,” Heartbreak said, slightly choking on her words. She sniffed a bit. “Like the one you gave Rarity.”
Spike looked at Heartbreak. “You ok there H.B?”
She waggled her hoof at him. “I’ll be alright Spike. That’s what you’d look like, now back to the story. Twilight is sure she can change you back, but doesn’t know how long it will take. A week or two tops. In the meantime? You’re stuck like that. Now, things seem pretty normal, walking takes like a day or two to get used to. In those first few days everything seems alright, things seem normal. The ponies try to treat you like you were as a dragon. But then you start to notice little things. Twilight asks you to take a letter and you realize that you don’t know how to write with your mouth. You see your favorite gem based ice cream and you can’t chew it with your soft pony teeth. And because you’re an earth pony? You don’t have any real magic. So, no magical dragon fire breath for you!”
Spike frowned a bit. “But I do have my friends and Rarity right? I mean now that we’re both ponies, I might actually have a chance with her!”
“Sure, you have your fffriends, but-” Heartbreak waggled her hoof at Spike, a slightly cruel smile slipped across her face. “Rarity has decided that she actually likes Blueblood again.”
==============================================================
Alright, yeah, this sounds like the makings of a bad fanfiction. And it isn’t any story that has been given any real thought. But it’s really hard to try to put what has been annoying me and what my feelings are in the limited time frame that I’ve got. I’ve got the bare bones of a story. And it’s enough to make the little dragon’s face crumple and twist in confusion.
“What?! But Rarity hates Blueblood! That would never happen!” He protests.
I tap my chin. “You’re right, that doesn’t have the right feel. Alright, Rarity doesn’t like Blueblood, ‘cause let’s face it, Blueblood is a fetting jerk. However,” It just came to me why Rarity wouldn’t have any interest in Spike if he were a pony. “You were a baby dragon at the time of the spell. So that gets transferred over with the magic. So, instead of being a stallion? You’re a colt. A really young colt. And while your attempts to impress Rarity are cute? To Rarity? That’s all they are. Cute. She never takes them seriously and never reciprocates that affection back in a way that you want. Or quite how you’d like it.”
A glimmer of understanding flashes over Spike’s face. “So... It’s like everything is the same, but it’s not?”
Yay, I wasted a bit of time explaining exactly what I told Spike in the beginning of all this, but with a story! Well... at least it wasn’t as long and drawn out as I made any other story I have told.
“Exactly. That’s the big thing. It’s like the whole of the universe is conspiring against me to remind me of what I’m not. Almost like a heavy pony who’s trying to go on a diet but then is taunted by the other ponies with sugary sweets and donuts. And it doesn’t just do this once in awhile, but every fetting day.”
“Ah, come on, it isn’t that bad is it?” Spike asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. For the moment I’m going to ignore that it’s a hand. If I acknowledge it, then it’s just going to annoy me into more whining.
“I don’t think it would be that bad had it not been for the two things that just happened. For one there’s this, ‘party.’ I really don’t see why I have to be here. I mean other than convenience sake.” I flip my hoof in the air. “Otherwise it was just a social bunder where I sliced and diced what I am sure was the delicate ego of somep-p-pony who is of importance in the area. But seriously? Who names their,” I attempt to find a word other than, ‘kid,’ or, ‘child.’ For some reason those two words just don’t go through. Sigh, can’t think of anything else than what always comes. “Foal, ‘Manifest Destiny?’ That’s almost just setting them up for some sort of mental complex. And it didn’t help that he was drunk and hitting on me. Then there’s what just happened...”
Spike scratches his head. “Wait, something else happened?”
Fuck, now comes the shame. I know I have problems with authority figures, but I feel real bad for what I just did. “Not only did I insult a rich p-pony, I think I just may have snapped at a Princess too.”
Spike’s eyes go wide and he looks nervous. “It wasn’t Princess Luna or Celestia was it?”
I roll my eyes. “Would I be standing here if it was either one of those two? And it wasn’t Cadence either... And Skyla would be way too young. And-” Fuck, Spike is looking at me funny again. “Right. I don’t know who it was and I can’t think of any other princesses.” Alright, that’s a lie. But I’m not going to question it. “But, after all the things that have happened today along with the stupid party thing, that whole, ‘mark, tag, and tail,’ bit they were going on about.” I frown. Great, now do I have to watch my back when it comes down to other ponies and pay attention just in case? Count another show canon ideal shattered. “Not to mention the fact that the four of them had been talking about the whole thing while having an, ‘encryption spell,’ up. And Twilight says that magic can only be used for good purposes...”
“I knew it!” He asks. “But why were you able to hear them? I mean, I could hear them because I’m a dragon. But you?”
“I haven’t a clue why it wasn’t working on me. Maybe because it’s the fact that I’m not... real. But it gets even worse. The three others? They were making wagers on Manifest just to see if he could actually do it.” I finish shaking my head.
Spike gives me a revolted look. “Really?”
“Really. And like fet am I going to be the mare that they use in their little exploits. You know how much I hate being flirted with to begin with. The fact that they were doing this as part of a little game? That only added to the insult. I’m not some sort of prize or-”
Spike puts up his hand to my face. “I get it. You don’t like being disrespected.”
“Yeah... unfortunately those feelings I was having at the time splashed over to the mystery princess. If she was a princess... Or even was actually there. The thing happened so fast that I’m not sure if what I saw was real or not... And I didn’t even get her name!” Frowning, I feel pretty stupid in the fact that I didn’t even think to ask her name in the short time I saw her. Then again, I practically expected her to tell me it... so... No crying over spilled milk I guess. Though Spike seems to be taking all of this really well. I don’t think I could share this sort of stuff with Rarity. She would most likely give me some sort of talk involving, ‘stallions being stallions.’ Then again, she and I don’t like Blueblood. “I might feel a bit better if I knew who it was that I may have caused an international incident with.”
“Well... I know a lot of the different Princesses and royalty, maybe you could give me a description of what she looked like!” I pause for a moment before answering. “Well?”
“Give me a minute! We talked like for the span of six or seven minutes, ten at the most! Right. She was as tall as your standard princess, I would say between Cadence and Celestia,” I raise my hoof in the air. “She had a sort of ...I would say... dusty? Yeah, dusty indigo coat and violet eyes with crimson streaks in them. I think her cutie mark was a rainbow figure eight. I think. And then there was her mane. Do you know what a lava lamp is?”
Spike blinks and scratches his head. “Uhm... is it a lamp with lava in it? Because it sounds like what a dragon would have in his den.”
Great, lava lamps aren’t a thing in Equestria. Either that or they go by a different name. “It’s... hard to explain. Right, take molten wax and have it floating in really hot water. Fet. This would be easier if I just drew it. Can you get my sketch pad and pencil?”
Spike smiles at me. “Sure thing, H.B.” He reaches into my saddlebags and pulls them out.
After putting my pencil in, I drop my sketch pad on the ground in hopes that it opens to a clean sheet of paper. It instead opens to a rather well done drawing of Twilight. Oh well. there’s some unfilled space on the paper. So I sit down and start drawing the basic, ‘lava lamp,’ “Right, the lamp is filled with water and has a blob of wax in it. There’s a light in the bottom that heats up the wax and makes it kind of bloop out. A metal cap is on the top and dissipates the-” Spike is looking at me in a lost manner. “Right. What this has to do with the mystery princess is that her mane was like a rainbow of swirling colors that was kind of faded.”
“Weird, I haven’t heard of any princesses with the traits you have just described. You might want to ask Twilight when we get back about her.” He looks at me pensively. “But... what did you do?”
“Right... That’s complicated too.” I feel horrible about what I did. “She approached me and was asking about needing to find somep-p-pony. I tried to calm down after Manifest, but every time she said the pony’s name? Her voice dropped and I couldn’t hear her. I asked again and she just did it again. I was already in a bad mood and annoyed at everything. I kinda snapped at her without thinking that she just might have been shy. By the time I turned around to apologize? She had teleported away.”
Spike blinks in confusion. “That’s just... weird. And sad.”
“I just hope...” Ugh, this little mistake is hitting me hard. “I hope I see her again so I can actually apologize. I didn’t mean to... It was just a split second mistake. Like so many other things in my life.” Spike looks at me like he kinda wants to smack me. “Alright, maybe that’s a bit over dramatic. But I still feel bad about it.”
Spike nods at me. “So, do you feel better now that you talked about all this?”
I think about it. “Yeah... A little bit, there are still things bothering me about the whole situation as it stands, but the whole story telling and talk? I feel a little better.”
“That’s good to hear,” Spike replies. “Just wondering though, was the story really necessary? I mean it didn’t even feel like the usual stories you tell.”
“Well...” A small trill of amusement runs through me. “If you wanted a worse story than that one? How about one where you get turned into a purple and green talking dog?”
Spike takes a double take at me and gives me a slight chuckle. “Alright, now I know you’re fetting with me.”
“Spike! Wherever did you pick up such language?” I mock imitate Rarity.
“You of course!” He punches my shoulder lightly.
“Ow, oh yeah. Heh,” Alright, now I’m feeling much better.
“Are you going to come back in?” He asks me.
“Pfffft, like I really need to offend more p-ponies today,” I reply rolling my eyes.
“Well, Prince Blueblood and Manifest are most likely gone. So you’re probably safe when it comes to anypony that’s royalty or importance.” Spike replied.
“I’m sure I’ll offend somep-p-pony in there.” I roll my eyes and shake my head before rubbing my temple with a hoof. “Royals, alicorns, and ponies of important stature. I’ve offended all three of them in one evening.” Groaning, I rub my eyes in an attempt to quell any surprise headaches I might experience because of the stress of this situation. “I swear, the next time I run into any one of those, it’s going to be altogether too soon. It’s like I’m some sort of fetting magnet for them! I mean I get that my situation is, ‘unique,’ but for cripes sake! It’s like I wave my hoof and they fall out of the sky!” I rant as my hoof dangles in the air.
That’s when Spike’s face goes slack and he goes really quiet. I see that his eyes are wide with a bit of shock and that his mouth is open. That’s not a good sign...
Just then, I feel a stiff breeze and a soft clattering of hooves from behind me.
I am afraid to turn around. Damn it, there you go tempting fate again H.B. “S-s-she’s right behind me, isn’t she?” I squeak out.
Then a voice speaks. A voice I know. A voice I love, fear and respect.
“Did I come at a bad time then?”
I don’t have to turn around to know who that is.
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Yeeeee Princess Luna!
THAT PICTURE
3225132 HB "Hmmmm. My Common Senses are tingling..."
3225289
Agreed! THAT is a great picture to end the chapter on.
3225343 Hehheh...Nappa gets it. I'll try not to be dis'arm'ed by your humor. *A one armed man walks up behind me*
My pun came true didn't it? FETTING CARTOON UNIVERSE!
3225278 Personally...I think it's Celestia.
man would it be quite the twist if his 9 ex's were brought to equastria by the same fae's? i could see it happening for some reason. to weird?
3225586 It's luna.
3225805 It's weird. But I could see it happen. However, you'll still have to wait and see what happens.
He said Skyla...
must have been a brain fart or maybe my brain is farting right now.
3225913 He-she-them.
Whelp, she's boned.
3226093 ... No... This isn't going to degrade into that...
3225814
luna... her face looks like shes tired. not angry or upset or happy or even unamused, she looks tired. like someone woke her up early.
da da daaa
3226821 That would be a negatory. You should go back and read again!
3226765 She does have to be up in the middle of the day to talk to HB.
3226887 because of crazy?
3226897 I'm going to go with Crazy too.
3226834
Do I have to? I have class in 6 hours and a paper to write! (Not to mention sleeping >.<)
I'll probably run through them all again after the 5th story is done (Your writing 10/11 right?). Besides I can still recall like 80% of the details/plot off the top of my head.
Fantastic writing Jet!
~Momentai
3225586 H.B doesn't love Celestia, or necessarily even respect her. Fear though, there's lots of that.
3225805 Given that his 9 exes WERE those Fey, it's hard to imagine them destroying themselves just to be near him again.
3225913 Probably from one of the later, as-of-yet-unaired seasons. (Also from the Hasbro toys, which means we might see a legit version in the upcoming season)
Double chapter of plot, huzzah!
3227047 Just wait till we can turn books into dreams. Right now humans are getting better and better with doing wacky things with their brains and dream reading is a up and coming new tech!
And if we can go about reading dreams... soon we'll be Creating them... We will be the Dreamweavers!
3226880 If that were the case, it would be horribly unnecessarily tragic now wouldn't it?
3227047 13 stories plus several crossovers.
3227138
Print it. I want a wall of pony angst on my bookshelf. I,ll save a space right next to Sherlock Holmes.
I am still amazed at how much you have created and how determined you are to create more.
~Momentai
3227096 since when do fae need to make sense in what they do? they think differently on what wrong and right and there idea's of justice or fun can make some people skin crawl in fear and attack sanity there a reason for some of there horrible legends connected to there magic and reasoning's.
side his life is entertainment to some of them to go to all the trouble of spiriting him away by magic i won't be surprise if there still there messing with his life just hidden from view and working from the shadows influencing and making life harder in ways terrible but possible.
Ohhh dear. HB's about to get the mother of all 'I am disappoint' talks.
Hopefully it will lead to constructive growth, rather than a breakdown and a "You were right, let's do this" letter sent to Celestia.
Also, I wonder if Rarity will pick up on what Spike said, about spells made so only stallions can hear you, and start to wonder? The possibilities!
3225814 Damnit. I was certain it would be the feared Celestia. Oh well, Luna is definitely interesting, but I don't remember when H.B. met her.
3227650 ._. In the first story.
3227134
3227131 That's a bloody brilliant idea.
3226931
I just had a very scary thought
Rainbow Princess...
Chaos magic is colored rainbow...
Discord is a being of chaos....
I'm hoping my sleep deprived mind is over thinking this!
3227651 Goddamn. My memory must be shit. Still...I think I'm gonna reread the stories when you finish.
edit: And If you publish, buy them as fast as possible. I'd love a physical copy.
3229166 Things are about to get Positive there Sammy. *gives his friend a hug.* Awkward, happy and rather strange. And remember, each story isn't an island to itself. Each story is intertwined with the next. Events here will have impacts and echoes in future stories. You'll see. Then again it might not be a surprise to you at all at what happens.
Either way, I hope that you still come along for the ride.
3229333 *boops your nose* Sorry, it's just we've both been saying the same things to each other. And now it's hard to react with anything but a nose boop.
Things that will kinda be constant. HB will be mopy. Ponies will try to cheer her up. Some ponies will be more successful at this than others. Other ponies will get a glaring at and/or snapping at. HB is learning how to walk in more than one way there Samaru. She's going to have ups, downs, conflict and moments were she will snap. She'll feel bad for a little bit push herself up and try to work through it. Eventually getting better.
And it's going to take more than four months. Mental health rehabilitation can take forever. And HB Sees any 'magical assistance' (such as with creativi-tea) more a kin to brain-washing.
Think of this more like an on going story and less like (Here is the author putzing around for some reason, like he can't think of anything else this character can do.)
3229440 I know. And I apprecate your honesty. Never give that up Sam.
3227618 Given how old they are and how long they last, Fey need a LOT of sense in what they do. Their magic has rules, their society has order, their people have feelings. Sure, they may go a little out of the way to make things more difficult for H.B. (Owloycious attacking in the library, animals shying away in fear), but it wouldn't make sense for them to suddenly appear near the object of their disdain again, especially given all the trouble they went through to sever ties.
Even more importantly though the Fey responsible for all this WERE the Exes. For the very same Fey to send Anthony's Exes to Equestria would necessitate them essentially banishing themselves. I'm not saying it's not possible, but unless they tore away their own bodies and identities in the same manner as what befell Anthony (and shoved themselves through the extra-dimensional universal branes), they'd likely just end up in their human disguise (or Fey form), whereupon I'm pretty sure they'd meet a swift end by Alicorn Princess.
Oh HB, Where will you go now.
I'm not sure I understand why her face was like that at the end though I might...
3227131
Sounds fun, Within reason. Oh and I once dreamed of HB and Query being in a pool of water. As I was about to close a door between them and myself HB came up to the door and I didn't close it completely. That was in June or July.
Ok, I reached the latest chapter and you have created a story that both pisses me off to no end but is enthralling, so I can’t stop reading the thing.
Kudos… you monster
Just a few things I personally hope to happen by the end of this story…
1 I want heartbrake to realize how self-defeating she is in this whole thing… (even though that’s the true genius of this ‘punishment’, if she tries to make the best of it the fey win, but if she fights it she is just biting a hoof that’s trying to help and only hurts him/herself…)
Maybe that would lead to number 2
2 the ponies find out why heartbrake doesn't want to open up and feel really shit for prying when they do.
3 Celestia gets called out not only on the whole mind wipe tyrant shit but about all the help she should have been giving based on the fact she knew about what’s wrong with her and still does nothing to help at all.
I mean this whole situation is her fault with the whole you must teach her or I rape her memory shit, 'because she could become the next discord'… I say self-Fulfilling prophecy, all
has done now is give her motive to want her dead if she ever does get the power to make it happen.
4 the fey… I want pain in their future, copious amounts of it.
OK monologue over... now i need sleep
3230699 good points but i still think it possible there in equastria and why not? it a land of magic! plenty of other reason to visit after all! side why would they make there magic hurt them? i think with there magic and long lived knowledge and experience i think there other ways for them to go to equastria to visit the place safely there tricky side heart break was being punished and curse by there magic to suffer on purpose. i just think there are some fae who can travel to distant place's shape shift and other strange abilities so there plenty of magic already so different way for them to visit and blend in even with all powerful alicorn magic side if celestia could not sense changelings i think fairy's can do just as well and there reasons to visit the place? anything there confusing sentient to me so possible the ex's are there.
I truly have nothing to add. This chapter was another one Where HB infodumps on spike and ends on a cliffhanger. I think this exact thing has happened at least once before in this story.
3230699
They likely will show up.
Eventually they are going to realize something is amiss when the ponies fix the curse brand, thus allowing HB to truly heal.
As fey they cannot allow someone else to muck up their property and punishments, which the act of purifying HB will certainly do.
The fey may know of Celestia's ways, but most likely did not consider Luna's intervention as a possibility.
Their objective was to banish Anthony, steal everything that defined him, and doom him to forever spread pain.
They may have already known Celestia's penchant for mind wipes, which would mean HB would not even know why she spread pain.
Luna has already begun to muck with the fey scheme.
We also do not know if permission was gained to banish a mere mortal across dimensions... Seems a massive use of power for a petty vendetta.
Fey may do crazy things for petty reasons, but that usually involves something less then full body, gender, and mind alterations, empathic curses, and tearing holes in the time space continuum over a dickish boyfriend.
It took 9 Fey working in tandem to pull it off... that sets off a lot of red flags.
3232005
1-Self defeating it may be, she still knows she cannot acclimate in any way until Celestia's "test" is over. That and the brand screws with her, making everything that much harder.
2- Author stated that yes, gender change reveal is part of the next arc... and Spike just got a major clue.
3- If Celestia isn't a Tyrant, and is just manipulating everything... then she is likely planning to draw out the Fey, to express her disapproval of using Equestria as a prison.
( Or some gambit to make Luna sociable...)
4- I have money on the brand somehow letting the 9 know how HB is doing... and they will not be pleased when the brand gets decursed.
And when HB's curses begin to turn into blessings, they will come running. And it WILL be a trap.
3236309 Remember when it all took place. The ritual was under an eclipsed moon on Samhain add a few extra-spices, and you can get away with a lot... But all that will be stories for another time....
3252944 This fanon idea seems to be at odds with the fanon concept that eating meat is a social taboo in Equestria.
3227618
It would be insanity or a desperation move for the pointy-eared "Fets" to actually be there somewhere ON Equis watching their victim. After all, that puts them in reach of some very cranky Alicorns who are likely more than a little ticked off they let loose a suicide bomb (The magic locked in H.B) that might kill the planet -just because it would be an extra twist of the knife for Anthony and his love of "Da Ponehs".
3252962
*nods. The "Social Stigma" side probably has fluttershy and her stare on their side...
I see what's happening here...
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