Chapter 16
Travel Plans
So here I am again at Rarity’s. The impact of the overall girly glitz of the place has faded due to seeing it before. It’s not as impressive, it’s not as imposing, but it still is making me nervous. I mull the morning’s events in my head as a way to avoid knocking on the door to let her know I’m here.
I get up and see that Twilight is studying her thick books. Spike makes me a breakfast of eggs, hashbrowns, toast and shredded greens that he assures isn’t grass. Which after a few nibbles, I sighed in relief. It’s more of a small salad, no grass here. I in turn, assure him and Twilight that things are going fine. After eating, using the bathroom, and attempting to pull up overwear but having minimal success, I reluctantly call out for Twilight to help after at least ten minutes of struggling.
Sigh. I swear the universe is purposely trying to humiliate me.
I go back to, ‘my,’ room, do some drawing, practice some more, ask for a juice and drink it down. I get prodded about going to Rarity’s and finally, after much eye rolling, set out the door after Twilight puts my hat on. Spike isn’t pleased about the hat. He’s sure that I’m wearing it out of spite. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Either way, it keeps the sun out of my eyes.
I walk down the streets of Ponyville and note the ponies as they go about their daily lives and attempt to get past Sugarcube Corner without Pinkie seeing me. I fail at my stealth roll, as the pink puffball is practically waiting for me with a surprise cupcake. I can’t complain about that. It’s a nice treat.
I tell her that I’m going to Rarity’s and she asks if I want company. That’s when Mrs. Cake calls out to her and takes the happy little ball of sunshine away. Not that I am complaining. Pinkie is Pinkie after all, and if she walked with me, she would be chattering non-stop. And I don’t need to be driven insane before dealing with Rarity again. Oh no, I’m saving today’s wonderful insanity for after I have to deal with Rarity! And after a short little walk here I am. Fuck. That didn’t eat up as much time as I thought it would.
Swallowing hard I lift a hoof to knock on the door. “Here we go again, Heartbreak meets Rarity, take two!” My hoof raps on the door. “Action!”
There is a short pause before I hear a musical, “Coooooooming!” through the door. The top part of the door opens up and Rarity peers through. “H.B!” she says putting emphasis on the, ‘B.’ Her eyes almost go right to my hat and a look of disapproval flutters across her face. “How are you doing today? Please, won’t you come in?”
“Pretty much the same as I was yesterday, Rarity,” I reply walking in. As I walk past, I notice that she does look a bit better. Her mane and tail look shinier, and both her fur and hooves are whiter. Even the blue of her cutie mark is more striking and defined. My eyes dart back to my own mark. Like I really want to even go there. “I see you took my advice and went to the spa.”
“Oh, yes,” She replies trying to hide a devious look her eyes. “And I must tell you that it was a delightful treat! They really know how to treat a pony!”
“Mmmhm,” I reply, looking around for the pillow that I used yesterday. Much to my surprise, it’s still in front of the mirror. Strange, I thought she would have put it away.
As she trots over, I unbuckle my saddle back and reach in to take out my art stuff. Bleh, I swear, these things still taste horrible. “I got the full treatment! And after that long horrible painstaking month? It felt really good to be pampered.”
“Mmmhm.” Great, I think I have turned into a teenager. Then again, I know what Rarity’s trying to do. Make this place seem really appealing. Treat me like a toddler in a highchair that’s refusing to eat their veggies. “Come on, H.B.! Look! Auntie Rarity likes them! Num Num Num! Open up! Here comes the airplane!” I roll my eyes as the image of me as a little filly and Rarity plays in my head. Little H.B. is sticking her tongue out and ends up splattering a green mess over Rarity’s face. I involuntarily smirk. “Darn it, H.B. She’s only mentioned the spa twice. That doesn’t mean that she’s trying to get you to go again.”
“Are you alright, darling?” She asks confused at my amusement. She covers her mouth. “Right, so sorry, I forgot you asked me not to call you, ‘Darling.’”
“I was laughing at an internal joke, Rarity. And I have no qualms with you calling me, ‘Darling.’ It’s just when you overuse it,” I reply, taking out my pencil. Alright, pencil goes in the hole! A tap of the top and a soft, ‘Zzzzt!’ sound. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the sickened expression on Rarity’s face. Alright, I’m taking too much delight in this.
“I even got a nice hoofacure, see?” She lifts a hoof up and shows me her hoof. It’s all clean, shiny and I can barely tell the line between the hair and hoof. And despite all that work that was put into it? All I can feel is this indifference about it.
“Yes, Rarity, that’s very nice,” I reply trying sound as neutral as possible. A few snide comments roll their way through my head. “Huh. Mind holding it up like that for a while?”
She smiles and assumes a pose. Tilting my head back and forth I attempt to draw what I see. Hooves seem like such simple things, with simple lines and the like but... usually the simpler something is? The easier it is to fuck up. Looking up, I can see a bit of mild disappointment waver across her face.
“You can put your hoof down now. Thank you, Rarity.”
“Anytime... H.B.” There is a small awkward silence between us. “You know, if you want, we can get it so that your hooves look like mine. They are simply divine!”
“Oh yes, and I would look just divine with marshmallow white hooves!” I mentally facepalm-facehoof... Whatever. “Alright, maybe she is trying to get you to go." Fuck, I really wish she would just drop it!
Sighing, I look her in the eyes. “Rarity, I thought I made it very clear yesterday that I don’t want to go to the spa. I don’t need to get, ‘prettied up,’ for anything, and even if I did,” I frown at the notion of being, ‘prettied up,’ “I would just give myself a brush over and clean myself up. Seriously, can’t we talk about something else?”
==============================================================
Rarity sighed and closed her eyes before looking indignant. “One doesn’t simply go to the spa just to get, ‘Prettied up,’ darling. There are many wonderful health benefits that come with going to such a place! After all the spa ponies are trained in health matters too. They can look for things, and even perhaps find things that might be of serious concern!”
Heartbreak sighed. “Why are you being so adamant about this, Rarity? I mean I get you’re about fashion and, I hate saying this, appearance... and I know we’ve only interacted like a total of, uhm,” she looked thoughtful. “Four times? But it feels like you’re really kind of pushing it.”
Rarity glared at Heartbreak and tossed her mane. “And just what is wrong with looking good, my dear? A lady should always try to look her best! Particularly if they are going to be doing some traveling.”
Heartbreak blinked. “Traveling?” Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah! You said that you had to do some traveling next week and Twilight told you to bring me with you. Well, uhm,” she looked at her side and gave a simple smile, “Have saddlebag, will travel?”
Rarity shook her head. “Does she care so little about her appearance?! What about her brushes, her-” She mentally composed herself. “She’s practically a pauper, Rarity. Aside from the things she has in Twilight’s bathroom, everything she currently owns must be in those two pouches. Alright, be tactful in your explanation.” “H.B., that might be alright and fine if this was for a vacation cruise. However, this trip is also for my business and I simply can’t have you looking like... well... that!”
“Rarity, I explained this already. I look fine. And it’s not like we’re going to Canterlot, right?” Heartbreak’s expression drooped and she looked worried. “We’re not going to Canterlot, right?”
Rarity bit her lip slightly. With Heartbreak’s extensive knowledge of Equestria’s inhabitants, she was bound to know about its cities. “If I tell her where we’re going, she’s going to have an opinion about the place and most likely going to stubbornly refuse to go, or worse yet, refuse to get prepared to look her finest. I mean, the auction isn’t any Gala by far, but still if I can get her to look better, then she could see that she truly would feel better!” “Oh, well, darling, maybe I'll tell you if you come looking your best!”
“Wait,” Heartbreak blinked in confusion. “You’ll only tell me where we’re going if we go to the spa?”
Rarity smiled and nodded. “That would be the jist of what I am saying, yes.”
Heartbreak frowned. “Well fet.”
Rarity smirked a bit. “I’ll go-”
“I guess I won’t know where we’re going till we get there then,” Heartbreak said smirking and trying to return to her drawing.
Rarity stopped in confusion. “Bwah?”
“I told you, Rarity, I’m not going to the spa.” She focused on her drawing and attempted to put more detail on a line.
“But... darling!” Rarity raised a hoof to her face. Heartbreak’s expression was unwavering. The unicorn took a
deep breath. “It’s almost like dealing with a combination of Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Sweetie Belle all at the same time! Stubborn, illogical and just difficult. You can do this, Rarity.”
“This is for my business, and how you look will reflect on me too! I mean, I don’t want to lose a thousand bits just because you didn’t comb your mane!”
Heartbreak’s only response was a frown and a snort.
“Alright, maybe that came off a little bit wrong,”
“You don’t say,” Heartbreak replied harshly.
“Alright, I’m not going to force you to go to the spa, but I really wish you would.”
“I look fine, Rarity,” Heartbreak repeated and frowned. “And I am pretty sure I can rule out Canterlot as I'm sure that the Princess doesn't want me anywhere -near- her.”
“Will the Princess be there? I’m sure I checked the guest list...No, she’s not going to attend this year.” “Still, it wouldn’t hurt for you to look your best...” Rarity's expression turned sad as she thought about those last words that Heartbreak heard from her world. “After what happened that night,” Rarity paused and looked away. “If anypony needs proper treatment it would be you.”
Heartbreak glanced up at Rarity. There was a look of sadness and grief stricken on her face. She took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. “Even Rarity doesn’t deserve to be forced to relive something like that." “Look, first, let’s not bring that night up again? Please? And second?” “Fet I know I am going to regret this...” “How about we compromise?”
Rarity blinked. “Compromise?”
Heartbreak looked off to the side as she carefully mulled over the choice of words she was going to use. “Compromise. You’ll drop the going to the spa, if,” she looked Rarity in the eye. “If I let you, clean me up.” Rarity looked a bit excited. “But!” Heartbreak’s hoof jutted up. “Only a clean up. No makeovers. No makeup. No overdoing it. Just a look over on my hooves, my mane and tail.”
Rarity bit her lip, this was the closest to a chink in this pony’s armor she could find. “What about your fetlocks and coat?” she asked pleadingly.
Heartbreak twitched a bit. “You may brush those as well. But no touching the mark and no trimming! Just. Brushing.”
Rarity sighed. “Very we-”
“And only before we are going to leave!” Heartbreak added quickly, her hoof and pencil jutting up at the white unicorn.
Rarity jumped back a little from the pointed tip. Carefully, she pushed Heartbreak’s hoof down and gave her a disapproving look. “You ought to be more careful with that, darling.”
“Right, uhm. Apologies, I didn’t mean to...” She stammered, her ears drooping. “I do get to know -when- we’re going to leave, right?”
“Yes. Ten am at the train station,” She looked over Heartbreak’s appearance.
Heartbreak looked a bit frustrated. “Well, I guess I’ll have to wake up early then. Most likely around nine o’clock.”
As Rarity paused over her flank, Heartbreak felt unnerved. “You’re not giving me a lot to work with, nor a lot of time to do it in,” she said rubbing her chin. “But-”
Heartbreak returned to her drawing. “But you’re Rarity, you’ll manage it.” She looked to the side and there was a small silence between the two ponies. “So, uhm... now that that is out of the way, it would appear that we have a bit of time on our hooves.” “After all, If I come back early, Twilight will think that I did something to offend Rarity." She looked up and bit her lower lip. “Any thoughts on what we could do today?”
“Well, I hadn’t thought of anything else, I was really hoping that I could have convinced you to take a spa trip,” Rarity replied, attempting one final time with a pleading expression.
Heartbreak’s head drooped and her eyes closed half way. “But seeing that’s not going to happen?”
Rarity sighed. She had fought this battle and lost, it was best to admit defeat with grace and take the small victory that she had garnered. “But seeing that it isn’t going to happen,” she looked thoughtful. “Perhaps we can do some pre-travel shopping!” Heartbreak cringed and eyed Rarity. “Did I say something wrong again?”
==============================================================
Fuck. The more I tell her about the things that I don’t do? The more I feel like I’m backing myself into a corner. You ever clean the kitchen and start with the entry point and clean everywhere, but that one far corner of the kitchen? Then you realize that you are backed up into a corner with no way out and clean kitchen everywhere? That’s how I feel right now. If I say something, I’ll be spoiling the clean for that Rarity and I -just- spent, uhm, what’s the time?
I sigh. Only twenty minutes... more or less. Twenty minutes of us prattling on about something that I thought was resolved yesterday. Fuck, she’s looking at me and expecting an answer.
Damned if I lie, damned if I don’t.
“I... don’t really like shopping either,” I finally confess. Another time and place I might find the look on her face a bit priceless. She blinks, bewildered. “What?”
“Had I not taken your measurements just yesterday darling, I wouldn’t believe that you were a mare...” The words just tumble out of her mouth. Fuck! Duck and cover and try to figure something out!
Avoiding eye contact and tapping my hoof. “Well, there’s, ‘shopping,’ and then there’s, ‘shopping.’ I’m guessing while you did say that it was for traveling, you mean the type of shopping that involves window shopping for things like shoes and other things. To me, actual shopping means going out and getting things you actually need.” Alright, smooth. I hope I am not sending out any signals. “Uhm, speaking of things I need, I could use a few more pairs of overwear... I don’t need measurements retaken for those do I?”
“No, I keep all my clients measurements on file,” She sighs. “As for shopping, I was actually thinking a little bit of both really,” She says, looking disappointed again. Fuck, I desperately want to change the subject here. “But I guess you don’t want to do that with me either.”
Yup. She went there. I knew that Rarity was a complex character, but it seems like she’s all over the place trying to figure me out and I’m just blocking her at every turn. The only thing that all these things that she’s been wanting to do have in common, is that they require us to spend time together.
What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want her to feel bad because I don’t really want to spend time with her. I mean, sure, if Twilight hadn’t practically ordered us to spend the month together, most likely I wouldn’t be. Looking at the half finished hoof drawing, an idea comes to mind.
“...That’s brilliant. Why the fuck didn’t I think about that before? Now, how the fuck am I going to phrase this?” I take a deep breath. “I’m just not the window shopping type Rarity. I’m more of the, ‘sit at home, read a book, look up random information, gamer, geeky-” She looks at me confused at that word. “Eggheaded type. But,” I pause, “I just had a wonderful idea of something that we can do together, that I am sure both of us can enjoy.”
“And that would be?” She asks me.
“Well...” I look up at her. “I was thinking, if it wouldn’t be too much, that I could draw you. I mean I know you acted as artproofer yesterday, but I was thinking, and you can turn me down on this, that you could, uhm, model for me today?”
She blinks and looks almost bemused by this thought. “You want moi to model for your drawings?”
Crap! Come on! Let’s salvage this idea! “Well, it’s just that a mare who is as lovely as yourself is a complex and, uhm deep is kind of difficult to draw and-”
She puts up a hoof and flutters her eyes at me. “H.B., darling, while flattery will get you everywhere, all you really had to do was ask!”
I think there might be a problem with the format. About halfway through everything becomes italicized. (Right after Rarity mentally composes herself)
2655441 Thank you. Changed and saved.
Eeee! I keep thinking, if anypony will realize she is really a he it's rarity.
Also, took awhile to realize a new story was submitted.
2655532 Rarity still thinks that H.B.'s a mare.
It will eventually get out or into Rarity's head that HB was not originally female...
She's SO close to figuring it out.
2655554 Will it?
2655538 I said 'will realize', darling~
Modelling could be interesting.. Do we get Valkyrie Rarity? Farmer Rarity? How about Cheerleader Rarity? Still Life with Rarity?
Despite the short chapters, I'm still enjoying the read. Hope it keeps flowing easily for you!
2655622 He's having conflicting issues with HB and her interactions with Rarity. This stuff is sure to get back to him afterall.
Good god that babyfood picture is priceless. I've been waiting for the two to come to this conclusion since H.B. first started visiting Rarity. It's been screaming at me the whole time and now it's finally happening. This is going to probably be the first real eye-opener between the two that's going to work for the good, and I can't wait to see how it happens.
P.S.: I'm not dead (YET )...so no, you haven't gotten rid of me. I just have a tendency to switch from one life to another sporadically, if you catch my drift.
2655649 Come find me on Second Life Now.
2655659 She must have :P
2655657
-pops into existence and awaits-
You Demanded?
Why am I randomly getting the feeling that Anthony is going to have "Da Magicks" ?
2655694 Cause you like to have your own personal head canon?
I anticipate rarity is going to figure out HB was male if she ever compares notes with spike.
2655699
Must be, that idea is a funny one.
After all of Rarity's hard work, the messy look is in.
Heh, that would be hard kick in the metaphorical balls for Rarity.
2655699 Flatter gets you everywhere? Oh god, not again!!!!!! Everyone duck and cover, its another story with a lonely Rarity!!!!
2655759 Lonely Rarity?
2655750 Except we already had that sort of thing with Green isn't your Colour. We'll be getting something a little more interesting than a retread, I imagine.
2655759 Flattery does work wonders on her. That's mostly because artists that live on their commissions tend to end up as attention seekers. (Not entirely in a negative sense, mind you). Rarity here is certainly no exception.
H.B. you should listen to the advice you were given, go with the flow.
2655724
I feel more like fluttershy or pinkie pie is going to be the one to figure it out.
2655911
except, as far as we have seen in cannon, rarity is far from poor.
2656051 Living off commissions is =/= poor. Rarity makes dresses for freaking Saphire Shores. Kind of a big hit, moneywise.
2655724
Except transgender fiction is probably not well known in equestria, if at all - unlike teh interwebs, where it has its own set of rules and lore.
And why the hell would she jump to that conclusion? There are ponies and griffons and cows, and a heck lot else in equestria. (And why some people keep forgetting this I really don't know!) Rarity probably has plenty of experience with the idea that 'traditional gender roles' vary between species. She knows that HB used to be some kind of alien species which had almost nothing in common with her current pony body. It's far more likely she'll conclude that all females of Mysterious Species X act broadly like HB does.
2656165 *high fives you*
H.B. could take the Twilight Teleport to Rarity's on the day of the trip. That would allow a more leisurely walk to the train station.
2656051 And considering that Pinkie is Pinkie, she probably already knows, but isn't saying anything because it's not in the script. If she doesn't know that, she might stick her head in H.B.'s ear, look through her brain, and find out that way. She would deliver her report after sticking her head back out of H.B.'s other ear in a silly/serious/sillious/dead-frying-pan manner.
2656174 You're assuming too much of this version of Pinkie Pie.
....I have a feeling that this will NOT end well, for both HB and Rarity,,,,What do you think HB?
2656248 H.B. "I really wish Rarity would stop trying to go for things from a feminizing angle and just keep the artistic side... I'm starting to feel like a mary sue here..."
Ugh...Rarity. ..
Seriously, is it that hard to understand that not every mare likes girly things?
She's always a pain in the ass in the show but dam...
Her refusal to mention the gender swap is getting frustrating now...
It feels like the reveal can happen at any moment now, but will never happen. Ever.
i.imgflip.com/1bij.jpg
2656404
Especially when she's friend with RD and AJ, we all know how they both LOVE girly things.
2656517
Oh god...I can't use GIMP or Photoshop to save my life...
SOMEONE PLEASE PHOTOSHOP RARITYS FACE ON THAT! PLEASE
2656613 I'll do something with it.
2656619
You beautiful man you!
2655911>>2655906 Knowing most rarities in most fics I have come to call any one with a single rarity who has no boyfriend, and uses terms that are normally used on a guy that they like, such as flattery gets you everywhere (that is in stories.) and other such things as a Lonely Rarity.
2656264 .... wouldn't that be a Gary-'Sue'? My puns... On another note...I'd be happy to visit ya, HB...Maybe we'll meet in Canterlot?
2656404 ...Why you blushin?
2560782 ....Yes.
2656177 ...So in THIS version she's NOT an entirely random 4th wall breaker?
2568112 ....Thank you....I am now going to post something into this post.scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5548-43a.jpg
2657209
You mean my avatar?
It's Ogiue from Genshiken, specificly a scene were she just bought a set of terrible clothes because her friend kept telling her to buy something fancy.
I also have friends who say that it doesn't fit me because I can talk about dead babies and pony porn in the same sentence, so I guess its something of an inside joke by now? I dunno..
2657391 hmn...that's interesting...My expression is a bit of an inside joke as well...people can't tell what mood I am in by my facial expressions, (considering I don't make any besides 'crazy smile'), but that story is for another time. *read after second '...' with small amount of sarcasm then revert to normal apathy*
2656165
a fair point.
But all tropes and currently unclear canon on the social structures of the other species aside Spike has shown giving pause and seeming to be considering similarities between himself and HB on 'guy stuff'.
Its not a definite thing and to be fair your conclusion is probably equally plausible from the perspective of rarity and spike but then they are left to consider that they are dealing with an entity that from all of their culture's gender perspectives more or less is fitting into a male background on many many many different factors and finds it very uncomfortable to be in what their society considers normal for a female.
actually them bringing it up that way would probably be HILARIOUS and now I'm kinda hoping that happens.
because HB can be all like "oh shit they know"
and then they ask if women in their culture are all...
and HB is left to decide to lie or tell the truth.
or maybe end up getting censored.
2656515 The ways it's going it should be within the next couple of chapters, if not by the end of the book.
OK, that might be the cutest image we've had in any of these chapters. The tongue and little curve of HB's mouth are just perfect.
She's closing in, dude! You're gonna get rumbled!
I can totally understand why HB would want to cover it up, just on inertia. Personal information is a bit like trademark law, in that you sort of lose any right to complain if you don't conscientiously defend it - The conversation about why she didn't say anything sooner would almost be more awkward...
The image amused me.
And the anticipation of whether or not "Wat? Oh my" Will show up began.
Yes, I sometimes do post vague comments.
Yay! I don't have to leave a meaningful comments because everything else has already been said!
2658073 Honestly, as long as she A.) Never admits to it, and B.) Never freaks out about it being said HB can totally pass it off as being a tomboy. Like RD.
... Then again, this is HB, and she sung an entire duet with what amounts to a poetry nerd who has a crush on her.
2673530 You're confusing your NPC ponies. Ghost Writer was the one who flirted with her, High Hat was the one who got sung to, and Dib is just too young.
Top that all off with the fact that HB no likely Stallions.