Mini-Celestias?
Chapter 21
Mini-Celestias?
Starchaser smiles at me and holds out her hoof in greeting, almost daintily. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss H.B.”
I put out my right hoof, and shake it in return, trying to smile. Smiling make others feel more at ease, right? “Please... don’t call me ‘miss.’ Just H.B. is fine.” Why the hell does this feel so awkward? It shouldn’t. It’s just starting a conversation... A conversation with some strange pony, with the sole objective of spiting Rarity. "Shut up... maybe you’ll make the one thing that you’re afraid of making, here. " I’m not going to ask... I’m not going to- "Friends." Fuck. I’m acknowledging this point. I don’t - er, didn’t want to acknowledge it.
I’m sure Twilight and her friends have been wondering why I haven’t really called them friends. Or even tried to be friends with others. I mean, the name of the show was ‘Friendship is Magic.’ Why am I so hesitant to make any?
For several reasons, though one stands out rather clearly in my mind right at this exact moment.
The Marbles.
It isn’t clear exactly how that all works. Celestia didn’t give me an instruction manual about that hourglass telling me about how much of my memory each marble represents. Just, ‘Write me a letter about the Elements of Harmony, or something profound that you’ve learned about yourself once a month; and I won’t zap your brain.’
Yes, I’m paraphrasing here, but fuck. How can you make, ‘friends,’ with that hanging over your head?! The two of you form a connection, it lasts for a long time, you hang out, do stuff together, and have fun together.
Then one day? It’s gone. That individual comes to you wanting to talk about something or to play some game. Normal, ‘friendship,’ stuff, but you don’t remember them. You ask, ‘Who are you?’ And they in turn are all confused. ‘It’s me! Starchaser! Remember, we met on the train?’
... Fuck. I’m already assuming that I can have a normal conversation with this random pony that I met on the train, and already I'm imagining the worst possible scenarios.
“Would you like to have a seat?” She asks, pointing to the one across from her.
My morbid ruminations have me reluctant to sit down. Sitting down means that we’d start talking, and if we start talking - just then I spy a curl of purple through the train cart door window. Rarity is peeking through, and catches sight of me. I can see her brow furrowing slightly and a glimmer in her eyes that is almost daring me to stop having this conversation.
“Oh, hell no, Rarity. Like fuck am I going to prove you right in this. Like hell am I going to let the marshmallow win! I will have a normal conversation!”
“I would love to.” I sit down and look back at the window. Rarity isn’t there anymore. But I am still not going to let her win this round. Nope. Geez! Why is this burning me so?! Everything would have been fine if she hadn’t brought up subjects other than art! We could have set up appointments for her to model for me! I could have come over, and we’d have tea and causally talk about art stuff! What kind of inks were good for what, what I needed work on in my proportions! What-
“Are you ok?” Starchaser says worriedly.
“Huh?...” I glance up to Starchaser. “Right, you were offering me a seat... I didn’t mean to...” Fuck, how do I explain this? “You’re going to have to forgive me. I just got out of a rather heated conversation with... somep-p-pony I know and I just saw her peek through the window. It wasn’t anything important.”
“It must have been something with the way your tail is moving about, dear.” Starchaser is looking towards my flank and tail.
Quickly, I attempt to yank my tail over my mark. It proves to be a poor choice of action, as I am reminded that tails are connected to spines, and that yanking on them causes pain. “Please don’t call me, ‘dear,’ either. Just H.B. if you don’t mind,” I squeak out.
She looks at me in concern. “Are you alright, de- I mean, H.B.?”
“Peachy! And yes! I would love a seat!” I awkwardly slide my rump into the booth and sit down. I pat my tail down and glare at it. Of course this glare turns into a slight grin as I realize that I have mussed up more of Rarity’s ‘hard work,’ of fixing my tail. Pfffft, whatever, if she really cares? She can fix it again before the auction. “So, you have important business in Ponyville? Something about house hunting?”
“Yes, I set up an appointment with a pony named Rael E. State, apparently she is the best in his line of work!” She says folding her hooves on the table. Oh, dear fucking gaia, please don’t tell me I just started a conversation with a stereotype of some sort of rich, overly trusting pony who... Shut up, just talk with the fucking pony here. Learn things about them. Wait... Rael E. State? Real E. State? Real Estate? ... Really? I swear, pony names are going to be the death of me. No! No pointless internal monologue! Smile and nod.
“So, is it safe to assume that you are moving from someplace far?” Yes! That’s a good question that won’t lead to anywhere awkward!
“Indeed. Canterlot of all places. I know, there are so many ponies trying to move to Canterlot, what with its sophistication, high lifestyle and appeal, but-” She pauses and bites her lip, “I need someplace a bit... quieter. When I asked, a friend suggested Ponyville. I have never been there before, so I am eager to see it! I hear its quite peaceful and quaint," She says, smiling.
Oooooh boy... Stop it, H.B. Not everyone has watched the show... Well, none of the ponies have watched the show. “Yeah, peaceful and quaint. It can be that.”
“Well, I suppose with the summer holidays approaching and the Summer Sun Festival taking place soon, that everypony would be a bit more active than normal,” She shakes her head and her ears droop down. A sign of disappointment, I think. “I can’t believe I missed the stop,” she tsks and rolls her eyes. “Oh well, that’s what one gets for falling asleep, I suppose.” She looks directly at me. I notice that her ears swivel towards me from their drooping position. Fuck, now that Rarity and Spike have pointed this shit out, am I going to constantly be trying to figure out what emotion is being communicated by how many degrees an ear turns? I really hope not. Fuck, I’ll get used to it. “I don’t think I saw you get on the train earlier... Did you get on at Ponyville?”
Alright, just play it cool. You can have a normal conversation, you don’t have to be snide, snarky and sarcastic. You. Can. Do. This! “Uhm, yeah, I got on with two others. You were still asleep at the time.”
“Oh?” She looks around the cart.
“They’re somewhere else right now. Like I said, we had a bit of an argument. I’m surprised that we didn’t wake you up.” Alright! See? I can totally do this! Alright, let’s move this conversation train along! “So, you said that you wanted to move to Ponyville cause it’s nice and quiet? I can’t imagine that Canterlot couldn’t be that bad.”
“Well, it isn’t normally that bad,” She says, looking at the mess of things in front of her. She starts to organize them a bit into a few piles.
“Normally? There wasn’t a giant cockatrice-attack, was there?” I ask jokingly.
“Oh good heavens, no! The Princess was able to handle that last attack with relative ease. Besides, they only come out every three hundred years or so, plenty of time for ponies to be on the alert and prepared,” She replies.
“Wow, uhm, awkward joke turns serious. I really hope there aren’t any more of those in the near future,” I reply. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! I seriously hope there aren’t any of those in the near future.
“There’s no need for concern,” she replies, smiling. “After all, the Princess and the whole of Canterlot are prepared for any threat to Equestria!”
That statement stirs something in the back of my mind. The ponies are so trusting, so loving, so appreciative of Celestia. If they only knew... Then again, maybe they don’t know, and everything was covered up. Wait... I could be radiating my feelings about Celestia. Fuck! Stop thinking about Ce- CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
“But you asked why Ponyville?” She taps her chin thoughtfully. “Well, I have always wanted to travel, to see Equestria from a different perspective, a new place. A quieter, safer place. I mean with what happened a while back, I’m not terribly sure about Canterlot being very safe anymore.”
I blink. If she’s not worried about giant flying snake birds that turn you to stone, so what is she worried about?. “Uuuhm, I’m lost.”
She leans over the table and looks at me intently. “I am guessing you didn’t hear about somepony stealing a bike a few months back?”
Seriously! This pony has her priorities mixed up! Giant pony eating cockatraces are no threat, but ponies that steal bikes are!? Wait... no... it couldn’t be. I really hope it isn’t... “Uhm. No, I’m pretty sheltered..”
She gets all excited and her wings flap a bit. “Well, It was back in March,” Oh fuck, please no... “And I was walking along the streets of Canterlot, just minding my own business. I had just stopped by the local quills and ink shop there, and was thinking about taking a look at some fine dresses. A moment hadn’t even passed when suddenly out of nowhere, a pony on a bicycle nearly clipped my wings!”
“That... sounds... terrible...” Oh sweet gaia no, please, please, please no.. “Did you get a good look at the pony in question?”
“Well, no. But the local reports from some of the Canterlot officials described her as either a tan mare with a brown mane and a black mark... or was it a brown mare with a black mane and a tan mark? I think I heard somepony describe her as blue pony with a tan mane...But either way it was a rather traumatic event!” I almost want to point out that she is talking to a tan mare with a brown mane and black mark, but I really don’t need a headache here... Her wings flutter and flutter about while her ears droop. “I wasn’t able to concentrate on my work for days! So I decided that I would move to a place that was much safer. After all, nothing really terribly exciting or dangerous happens in Ponyville!”
Fuck, I am feeling so Mary Sue right now.
==============================================================
“Shame that you missed your stop in Ponyville,” Heartbreak replied looking off to the side nervously.
Starchaser sighed. "Oh well, that's what I get for falling asleep I suppose... the last few days have been so hectic..." She looked at HB. “What with gathering all my possessions, making arrangements, and saying goodbye to friends and family in Canterlot.”
There was a momentary waiver of sadness that flickered over Heartbreak’s face. “I can imagine that it would be really hard,” She finally squeaked out.
“Are you alright, de-uhm H.B.? Did I say something to upset you?”
“No, I’m fine.” She adjusted her hat and looked around before coughing a bit. “Just swallowed something the wrong way, that’s all!”
“Oh,” Starchaser said, watching the pony in front of her fidget about with her hat. "Good heavens, am I really this terrible with conversations?" Heartbreak looked back and forth, and then placed her hooves on the table in front of her before smiling awkwardly and giggling nervously. Her hooves flew up to cover her mouth, and she coughed. Just then, Starchaser noticed another small oddity about Heartbreak as she managed to compose herself, and set her hooves back down on the table. A narrow beam of light seemed to pass right through a small- Starchaser blinked and went wide eyed.
“Soooo,” Heartbreak started.
“Uhm, I do beg your pardon, and I don’t mean to be rude,” Starchaser interrupted, “-but...” she pointed at Heartbreak’s hoof. “Is that a... a hole in your hoof?”
Almost instantly, Heartbreak curled her hoof below the table and bit her lower lip. “It’s a long story... but, uhm... yes... Magical tea incident.”
Starchaser blinked. “Does it... hurt? Why in the wide world of Equestria would you drill a hole in your hoof!?”
“Only if I walk on it a lot,” Heartbreak explained. “It’s something that happened in April.”
“Oh...” Starchaser tilted her head. “But April was two months ago! You haven’t seen a doctor about it?”
“Magic tea, I don’t want to mess with something so delicate,” Heartbreak replied fidgeting with her tail.
"She’s going to muss that lovely tail of hers up quite a bit, though she doesn’t seem like the type of mare who really cares too much about appearances. Either that, or she doesn’t have somepony who can help her with it!" “You could always take it to a hoof specialist. Perhaps a farrier? I am not terribly sure, myself. After all, it's delightful to enjoy a relaxing visit at a spa every few weeks or so. But farriers can do wonders with cleaning and trimming your hooves that no spapony can do. Oh, Have you considered having it magically resealed?”
Heartbreak frowned. “I would rather not, I don’t like the idea of other ponies touching my hooves. And as far as magically resealing it? I’ve already been to a magical specialist of sorts who lives in Ponyville. She said that using magic to reseal it would be a bad idea.” Her eyes darted back to meet Starchaser’s. “I really don’t like talking about it. I mean after all, it will grow out on its own after a while.”
Starchaser found herself mentally shaking her head. This pony’s priorities were quite odd. “Yes, I suppose that it will... it seems that you will just have to be rather careful when walking? You wouldn't want to have anything get caught in it.”
Heartbreak blinked. “Or maybe I do...”
Starchaser looked back and forth. “Beg your pardon? But that sounds like it could be dangerous to the hoof-”
“It would be, unless it was something that was purposely fitted to the hoof... Like a plug!” Heartbreak smiled, while chewing on the idea. “I think I owe you a bit of thanks. Ever since the ...incident. I have been getting funny looks and what have you... This is actually a good idea.”
Starchaser blinked and smiled. “You’re welcome... I guess?”
For a moment, there was a small silence between the two ponies, that was only filled by the sound of the train rushing along the tracks.
Heartbreak looked up. “Sooooo... What do you do?”
==============================================================
Work! Yes! That’s a nice safe topic! Jeez, I have been floundering about in this whole conversation. Though she did come up with a good idea. A hoof plug that I can take in and out of my hole when I need to. It’ll help me blend in, and deflect any future awkward questions about my hoof! Last thing I need is to be driven insane by questions of, ‘Why do you have a hole in your hoof?’ -Along with any stupid accusations of being a changeling...
But yes, work is a nice safe topic.
"Oh, me? I'm a celestial cartographer." She turns and lifts her rump up so that I can see her cutie mark. It’s a large five-pointed star, with several smaller stars inside of it. I know that she is just trying to show me her mark, but the way that she is positioned in the booth, like everything in this conversation, is rather awkward. "I just love the stars. Mapping them out is my job and hobby, so it all works out. What about you, Mi-uh... H.B.?" she asks, putting her flank back down on the seat.
Crap. She most likely wants me to show off the mark and tell her about my ‘talent.’ Her craning her head towards me only confirms my suspicions about this. “I-I'm ...something of an artist... writer.. .storyteller... I'm still kinda trying to figure myself out... But you love stars and all that? Cool, I studied stars in school." I push my tail around my flanks. I don’t want to put my ass in the air.
Starchaser’s face suddenly lights up. Uhm, fuck I can practically see the stars in her eyes now. "Really? Not that many ponies have an interest in them, but the stars have so many stories to tell, it has been said they helped Nightmare Moon escape, and-"
Oooh boy. Here comes the whole shebang, crap if I don’t stop her now? She’s going to be talking my ear off until her next stop. And who the fuck knows how long that is. "Yeah... Uhm.. have you ever wondered what they are made of?"
"Oh yes,” She replies nodding. “I'd just love to get my hooves on one, but I just know they're too far up there. I like to imagine they're gems strewn across a dark blanket, or something like that... what do you imagine?"
Holy fuck. It’s like I have been dropped into the dark ages of science. The stars are gems in a blanket? I'd never thought that the stars in Equestria were something different from those back home. Stars are burning nuclear reactors fusing elements together and producing heat and light. Do I dare influence what Equestrians think about their own universe? I'm afraid... I'm afraid to tell her because of what Celestia might do... But maybe it’s the buzz of thinking of a new idea, or maybe it’s the small tingle of perhaps enlightening ponies about things that they might not know about. But, I am getting tired of being afraid... Or right at this moment I am. I’m sure fear will rear its ugly head sometime later. Fuck it. "I'm not sure. I always imagined that stars could be like the sun, only from a really really far away place. but..." I can't tell her anything else outright. I can, however, plant the seeds. Yes... "They produce light, right?"
I can almost feel my ears droop as Starchaser gives a laugh. Then again? Would I expect any other reaction? "Like the sun? While they're pretty, they're a lot smaller, and I doubt Celestia would want to have to deal with that many suns. Unless there were, perhaps, millions of miniature versions of Celestia roaming the sky at night...” She starts to laugh at that idea. “Can you imagine?!”
I produce a small awkward chuckle to join the fact that she is laughing at what where I’m from has been almost empirically proven to be a scientific fact. “Yeah...” Wow. Just wow. Forget the dark ages, I feel like I have just dropped into the stone age. Such simplistic logic contained within what some would consider the most advanced field of science back on Earth.
“Besides, the night is Princess Luna's." She looks around and then waves for me to come closer. I look around as I lean over the table. There’s nobody or no ponies in the cart, but she seems insistent on whispering. Might as well try to go with the flow, otherwise she might grow suspicious about me. "Maybe it's just because of the night, but I always liked Princess Luna more..."
"Uhm yeah... Princess Luna..." I feel a warmness in my cheeks as I think about Princess Luna. After all, she came to my rescue and -
“Ooooh, I see that you share a fondness for our Princess of the Night too?” Starchaser asks, interrupting my train of thought.
“Huh?”
“My dear H.B., you’re blushing,” She says, covering her face and giggling a bit.
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Oh no! Red alert, HB, red alert! Abandon that train of thought!
Yes HB, welcome to the dark side. Join me in worshiping Luna. Screw the sun nag, Luna is good... want some Koolaid?
I see someone else has read the comics.
Meltdown in three... two...on-
images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/archive/1/13/20080321033750!Explosion.jpg
Also Anthonys eyes in that picture, they're perfect.
Oh you, Starchaser. Oh you.
2916437 Some of the background characters that don't seem to have too much for them will be fleshed out later and make later appearances in HB's story.
Right now the reason why Starchaser doesn't have much going for her is because they are together on the train for a short period of time. Had it been longer, there might be more meat to the girls' bones. But as it stands? Twenty to thirty minutes isn't enough to have a full detailed conversation.
But you've said your peace here Samaru. And there will be more awkward moments and conflict ahead.
I'm going to leave this here for comedic effect.
Anyway, it's good to see that HB actually can have a normal conversation if she tries hard enough, AKA suck it Rarity. On another note, I prefer a bunch of mini-lunas.
I kept expecting an image of Heartbreak with derped eyes with a smile, sorta like this:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m621zzxN3Y1qc5ffho1_1280.png
2915975
Abandon that train of thought?
Screw it man, abandon the whole bucking train!!!
Luna is best princess after all and she did save HB from Moles- I mean Celestia,so I can see where HB gets those feelings. I can feel the next part is going to have her realize her love for Luna? Probably not but it would be funny as hell.
2917139
You want to jump a train moving this fast? Are you insane?
Quick! Pull the hoofbrake! Shut down the engine! Toss an anchor out the back; do something! 
Oh. Wait. Nevermind. I think the train derailed somewhere back there when Luna was mentioned.
media.tumblr.com/c02e03f70cfc79cc0c7275dccd8894bd/tumblr_inline_mhis0waQDy1qz4rgp.gif
Has anything important actually happened? I feel as if these have been going on forever.
2921864 ._. Everything is important.
2918903 Odd BO.
2922686 Is that canon? Does HB let off a scent that drives ponies to jerk-ness? Does wind affect the spread of her pheromones?
2923701 I was kidding...
2924211 too late. head canon has taken over. All OOC-ness shall be blamed on HB pheromones.
2924242 *dumps HB Pheromones on you* The good news. You can walk into the Everfree Forest unmolested.
The bad news, now you are a walking drama bomb that makes stallions curious and mares act bitchy to you. Roll to see if you get hit on.
2924587 The good news: you have now confirmed it.
The bad news: it changes nothing.
Also i rolled15
2924641 The worse news? This hasn't been confirmed.
2924670 but you just said you dumped HB pheromones which have the believed effects. there for they exist.
Run H.B. Run!
2921864 OMG where is that gif from that's epic!
Time for a Twist! Now Everyone Imagine this Scene Gender Bent!
We have Elusive - Rarity, Heartache - Heartbreak, and finally Starcatcher - Starchaser!
NOW EVERYPONY IMAGINE IT.
2924987 I can imagine lots of swearing more so than there already is in thought but actually being spoken!
2924866 Pffffft and Faust said that ponies don't have toilets. What happens in the comments section might not have any concequences on the stories I write.
2928190 Didn't she say that after she'd already stopped her work on FiM? I understand what you're trying to get at though.
2915979
Neither of them are deities in my opinion, but you have the right to ignore me.
I worship God and God alone.
2932206 I'm not bringing religion into this, I'm bringing worship. You can worship a bag of turnips without it being religious... plus the koolaid reference refers to a cult way back.
2932206 Please don't turn my comments into a religious argument... I love my readers no matter what they believe...
It does seem like nice progress conversation-wise and HB's mind still sounds like a minefield.
Oh and I noticed something you may have not noticed about the marbles thing while writing it? Going along with the memories and marbles, HB: "I don't want to lose my marbles..."
2924949
Pirates of the Carribean. It's fairly early in the movie shortly after Jack Sparrow and Will Turner hijack a ship.
Uh oh~ Seems like Heart- H.B. has developed a little crush on the Princess of the Night. Oooh, I hope Rarity doesn't find out!
2932488 Thought so I think from he actually shouted abandon ship too!
2932468
Oh, alright.
I was wondering if H.B. would break out in song. Specifically, the first of these songs.
MOAR!!!!! will wait right here looking and refreshing the page
2933907 Your avitar is from the book into the wild right? That's one of my favorite books!
Heresy you say?
I just picture a adsfmovie of a person just yanking up the seat.