a tale of war

by my little broney (MLB)

this is our war

Dear diary 7th of May 1945 2200 hours

Me, Sam, mike, Hayden, Jordon and Ben 8th rifle division I was the head of the squad. My wingman was Sam second in command. My rank was General, Sam’s rank was Brigadier, Mike was Colonel, Jordan was a Major and Ben was new so he was only a private. We are storming into Berlin the Russians had already stormed into Berlin taking every German along the way.

The next morning

The time has come pony’s we are heading in to Berlin, I am not going to lie some of us may die here today. We headed over the barracks were all the other pony soldiers were. Go get ready this war is going to end today. Mike, Jordan get to the run way we are rolling out they rush over the runway to go get ready to fly. Sam, Hayden, Ben lets get this on the road. Ben head over get on that mounted turret, Hayden get in the back. Sir yes sir they both did as he was ordered Sam you drive. There go mike and Jordan as they fly off into Berlin god help ya boys I head Sam say as he drove.
Berlin 0800 hours
As we drove across the rubble that the Russians left behind we here a shot being fire. Ben fell hitting the ground hard we jump out to go help it was to late he was shot though brain. Sam shouted out loud sniper get to cover. Mike we have a sniper we need air support. State your coordinates. Echo Charlie Foxtrot 4 9 3 bravo. Alright 8th rd coming in hot and fast. Mike destroyed the building with the sniper in move up keep your eyes peeled we all pull out our rifles and slowly walk though Berlin. We head forward as we do we see a load of dead pony’s and as we walk on we see Jordan dead after being shot by an aa gun I just picked him up laid him down in a potion with his rifle in his hooves you fought well my friend now rest in peace.

Berlin 1000 hours

As me, Sam and Hayden walk along we saw the Russians rushing into the Reichstag then we saw a Russian flag being put down by them rising up the stairs to celebrate we walk on to met a new solider in the Russian army. I have to say you may be a little late to the war said Hayden with a nice tone of voice. Then we heard nothing but rushing and tank treads coming towards us. The fight starts off trying to hold off the Germans as they rushed us. We had been fighting the Germans off for over 2 hours they did not seem to give up they just kept coming no stop after a while I ran out of ammo all I had left was a pistol clip.

Berlin 1200 hours

I had nothing left Sam had 3 clips while Hayden had 5 not looking good for me then Sam says something I will never forget. Don’t forget me k, what do you mean Sam said me and Hayden at the same time. this is were I die I want to save you guys then anything else start to get moving will try and hold them off for as long as I can. Sam we are not leavening you behind we ca- yes you can now go Sam shouted while interrupting me now run. I Well it’s been an honour serving with you Sam and Sam take this I throw him my gun to him that may be more helpful thanks. We start to run and we see Sam fighting off the Germans.

Berlin 1600 hours

The war was over the Germans had surrendered I went back to see if Sam made it. As I walk along I see Sam in a pile of blood but still alive I gallop as fast as I can to see if he is alright he had been shot a few times. Sam come on man I came back here for you don’t die on me I am going to get you out of here. Sam said in a very weak voice my time has come that battle was my last. Don’t say things like that Sam you know it’s not true you will make I promises you will make it. No this is it goodbye old friend. Sam let out a breath and did not breath in he was gone. I take the tags you fought well I carry your body back for a proper burial. All our squad earned the victora cross and still to this day I still go back to say goodbye to the friends I lost.

Comments

[SethTheWizard]

[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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

[my little broney (MLB)]

sorry shining blade im still trying to learn how write better

[GlitchyProductions]

792 words, Brony spelled wrong, a wall of text.

This ain't happenin'.

[my little broney (MLB)]

well the storys did not work out never mind i will try better next time

[my little broney (MLB)]

also i know it is spelt wrong because it was taken k

[Mobius of the Moon]

If you could just rewrite with not a wall of text, and not so many mistakes, you'd have a track.

[my little broney (MLB)]

i am a little comfused someone tell me what you mean by wall of text

[my little broney (MLB)]

never mind

[Noimnotreally]

The whole pony war story thing has lots and lots of potential, as proven over and over. This does not tap into even 1% of it, not to mention amateurish writing. It's a pain to read. By all means, don't get discouraged, but you have a lot of work ahead of yourself if you're planning on writing good fanfiction. And you have talent, if only you can learn to use it.

[my little broney (MLB)]

172853 yer i am know still very new to this i will try harder next time promiss

[Johnfreemanwepon]

Hello! I noticed that you're tracking me now, so I will return the favor by giving you a few pointers. First of all, this really is a wall of text- break it up more, space ideas out and add more dialogue (and, by extension, more paragraphs.) This will help the reader ease into it- giving them the plot in bite sized chunks so they can focus on one bit at a time. Second, you need to write more! You didn't give yourself enough space to flesh out your idea- one way to fix this is to get into one of the character's shoes and put them in a conversation. Make it just like in real life- give each party awkward responses and let it carry along. This makes the story more realistic.

Thank you for following me, and I hope you can use these tips for the future.

[my little broney (MLB)]

>>hohnfreemanwepon thank you i am writeing one as i speek now and thanks for the tips the new one i have to say is easy to follow but not finshed but thanks agian for the feed back

[Tik-Tok-deerpony]

dude you really need to work on your grammar. you grammar was so bad, i spent an hour to read your story which would usally only take me 5 minutes to read.

[The Blue EM2]

Me, Sam, mike, Hayden, Jordon and Ben 8th rifle division I was the head of the squad. My wingman was Sam second in command. My rank was General, Sam’s rank was Brigadier, Mike was Colonel, Jordan was a Major and Ben was new so he was only a private. We are storming into Berlin the Russians had already stormed into Berlin taking every German along the way.

These ranks are not plausible. A squad would be led by a Sergeant, a platoon by a Lieutenant, a company by a Captain, and a division by a General. Colonels would typically command multiple companies, as would Majors. Aside from that, soldiers are always referred to by their surnames. For instance, Captain Lawrence Oates was always referred to as 'Captain Oates', not 'Captain Lawrence'.