When her brother brings a desperate warning in the middle of the night Twilight Sparkle is thrown into a frantic struggle to save Equestria from an enemy she thought she'd defeated.
Chapters (12)
Tortfeasor
Joined 4th Mar, 2012 ·
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Even if it's short, it's nice to know there are those sibling moments and all.
Plot Twist!!!???
That's insane, Clearly Insane!!!???
But wasn't she just speaking like her, trying to do her evil deed and now... she's there with them, Again?!
Okay, clearly a plot twist, unless it's just something mildly less conflicting.
Is there perhaps an implied loving moment in the next chapter, one that can be very funny to think about.
2307110
This is something I should have addressed, and I'll probably put it in an author's note for next chapter just to make sure people actually know when it is. In my head this is right around Too Many Pinkie Pies or One Bad Apple. The story evolved from some stories I'd been tinkering around with between seasons two and three so there isn't much season three to put in here.
So far this is an enjoyable adventure that makes good use of secondary characters. The biggest draw for me however is that Twilight is portrayed as the absolute magical powerhouse and master that she is. Entirely too many stories have her make almost no use of the magic available to her or have her struggle to levitate one slightly heavy object. Instead of going off on a rant I'll just say that Twilight's competence really helps draw me in and keep me engaged in the adventure since I don't keep thinking that she should have teleported there or her shield should survive more than two hits or what have you. I also enjoy the back and forth between Chrysalis and Shining. Keep up the good work.
Let's see, Cadence is evil due to some influence, Twilight, Shining and Chrysalis on the run trying to solve everything and Twilight has asked them to work something out to improve on their 'Teamwork' to stop Cadence...
I would want to say, Twilight, you are suggesting a prince who had a very eventful wedding and a Queen who tried to take over said wedding acting as the bride.I'd say they'd best kiss and makeup, one awkward scene.
2421001
Too bad we can only thumbs up once...
I smell a bit of problem... Shining may be a well trained barrier caster but nothing says Shining has been hypnotized. He did state they appeared.
2456342
I hate to burst a great theory. But Shining Armor is immune to Cadance making him her puppet. Twilight's friends teleported into Appleloosa and chased him from there.
2462278
Just looking at any possible twist that may occur.
I really like the bait and switch villains here. Shining Armor and Twilight were so certain that it was Chrysalis with virtually no evidence that it would have been disappointing had they been correct.
"Rarity would suggest a giant hat"... Is that a Friendship is Witchcraft reference?
2484879
Very much so. Glad people caught it.
Does anyone else get the occasional Shining Armor X Chrysalis vibe? Now admittedly, it's probably just that I've had my brain warped by too many movies as fighting all the time does not actually make a firm foundation for a relationship often in real life.
2491075
While it wouldn't make a great foundation for a relationship, the angry sex would be awesome.
2492068
I sure hope not. It's rather taking the easy way out for a quasi-redeemed (or not at all redeemed but now allied) villain to just kill them off.
Just make Shining Armor and Chrysalis kiss already, they are basically an inch away from each other when they argue. Better yet, make Twilight force kiss those two then she has the chance.
It was a fun piece with a nice conclusion. A bit rushed for time so I can't really go into great detail at the moment, though.
Oh snap! That's Chrysalis, isn't it?! Oh my gosh.
This story has everything an adventure story should have: a solid plot full of suspense and the potential for failure, intense action scenes, engaging dialogue, and good characterizations. This is the best pure adventure story I've read on fimfiction and I can't wait for your next story.
2527047 & Jarkes
Totally nonchalant whistling that makes no comment one way or another.
How is it this story has gone largely unnoticed?
It's sad how little attention this good piece has gotten. Have you considered asking some of the groups to include it? It'd probably be a bit of a spoiler but I'm sure most of the Chrysalis centric ones would take it.
Admittedly I don't know if groups actually work for increasing story circulation but it's worth a try.
Hm... Maybe it's the extremely generic summary that's to blame (though I understand you had to keep it vague on purpose for the twist).
OK... So far you've done a story with Nightmare Moon, a story with King Sombra, and a story with Queen Chrysalis. I take it you're going to do a story with Discord next?
It's one of the greatest stories I've read here. Totally loved Chrysalis here, that's what she should be in comic arcs, not a monster they decided to turn her into.
And Cadence... Well, as a villain she shines much brighter than as a totally positive character she is in a show.
Going to check your other stories. This one got my fave.
>>twilight
>>not paranoid
>>you're just imagining things
is this supposed to be a joke?
Interesting premise. And kinda hypocritical of Twilight to dismiss Shining initially. Thought the ungodly hour might have had something to do with it.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Like it so far, though I think it all being caused by Chryssie would be too convenient.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Hm, curiouser and curiouser.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Aww yeah, Chryssie in da house!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Me gusta.
I like how you portray all the characters. They seem very in character. And for once Shining doesn't go into murderous hate upon seeing Chryssie, like what happens in many other fics.
And your Chryssie... She's just perfect.
Also, Cadance's evil name: Nightmare Lovemuffin.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Admit it, Shining, you're just jealous that your wife isn't as beautiful as the magnificent Queen Chrysalis.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Well. I think Twilight would have an easier time lecturing Nightmare Lovemuffin to death than making these two work together.
Also, I kinda hope that the deal isn't eternal, aka once the ruckus from the invasion dies or, there'll be attempts to officially integrate changelings into Equestria.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Just kiss already!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Daymn, Nightmare Lovemuffin is a cunt.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Stop picking on Chryssie, you jerk ponies!
Yes, Twilight, join the dark side.
Cya
Raziel-chan
*shouting at Shining and Chryssie* JUST FUCK ALREADY!
Cya
Raziel-chan
2559287 I could totally see that, she did pull through for them all, after all.
Very nice read, why isn't this more loved?
Cya
Raziel-chan
I think you meant tiring here
Great chapter though