We'll Always Have Canterlot

by Tortfeasor

Life is Bristling With Thorns

Disclaimer: I disclaim this with the combined fury of a million white hot burning stars!

The first thing Rarity noticed when she woke was how sore she was, and how much her head hurt. She dearly hoped she hadn’t foolishly done anything un-ladylike last night like joining in one of Applejack’s and Rainbow Dash’s drinking contests. Or a drinking contest with Twilight Sparkle for that matter. The other unicorn seemed to have a hollow horn for how much she could drink without ill effect. Or maybe it was magic. Rarity had always been a thoroughly indifferent magical student, preferring to study and create fashion, but if Twilight had a spell to do away with hangovers it would be a spell worth learning.

Her bed felt like it was filled with rocks instead of the fancy down she'd had imported all the way from Baltimare. She hoped she hadn't somehow been so out of it to fall asleep on the floor. Even if she had been that out of her senses it wasn't as bad as it could have been. She’d just cleaned her floor a few days ago so it would only mean an extra two hours or so to make herself presentable rather than losing a whole day to damage control. Groaning, she decided to open her eyes and see what she’d done to herself. At least she’d drank enough to not particularly remember last night, so she assumed she’d had a good time.

Rarity opened her eyes, and screamed. She’d slept on bare filthy rock! She looked down at her once pristine coat and saw dirt and grime clinging to her legs and belly. This wasn't going to take a day to fix. She’d have to go unseen for a month while she shaved the ruined areas and used enough shampoo and conditioner to fill a small lake before this would be fixed. Desperately she tried to channel her magic to remove as much dirt as possible, magic regarding her personal appearance being one of the few areas of study she’d applied herself to, and underwent a fresh round of screaming as she found herself cut off from her magic by some ring placed on her horn.

Just as she was working herself into a full blown panic over her situation an orange hoof poked her and caused her to nearly jump through the stone roof.

“Simmer down there sugarcube.” The orange hoof belonged, unsurprisingly, to Applejack. “I just got Fluttershy to stop crying. And you starting up the waterworks isn't going to help things.”

“Applejack? What’s going on? Where are we?” Rarity perched herself on the very tips of her hooves in a desperate attempt to have as little contact as possible with the filth beneath her.

“I wish I had answers for you.” Applejack sighed as she walked back to the corner to check on the cowering Fluttershy. “I woke up last night and Winona was barking up a storm. Big Mac and I went downstairs to look outside the windows. We didn't see anything so we were just about to go back upstairs when I saw some ponies walking up to the house. Recognized them as guards, so I told Big Mac to go back upstairs and let Granny Smith and Apple Bloom know it was nothing to worry about, and that I’d be back as soon as I took care of them. The guards told me something had happened in Canterlot and that they needed all of us to head there right away. Told them I just needed to grab my hat, let my folks know where I was going, and we could be on our way. Then I saw Rainbow Dash, well I didn't see her, but I saw her do a sonic rainboom. I was wondering what the heck would make her do that in the middle of the night, and then everything went black and I woke up here.”

Listening to Applejack seemed to jog Rarity's memory from the fog it had been in. “The security spells I’d put on the boutique went off last night. I ran down in a panic, ready to tear the ruffians attacking my work limb from limb. Instead I found a few guards at the door. I suppose that perhaps I could have made the wards a bit less sensitive if it took so little to set them off. They told me more or less what they told you. Of course I needed to bring a number of accessories to make myself presentable in front of the princesses, and I needed to figure out how to turn off the alarm they’d set off before it dragged half of Ponyville to my door. I don’t think I noticed Rainbow Dash doing any sonic rainbooms, but then I had my nose buried in dresses I could stand to be seen in in Canterlot. Then there was a huge flash of light, I think it was just about the color of Twilight’s magic, and all the windows in the boutique blew out. It was a miracle that none of it cut me. Do you know how much effort it takes to get blood out of a white coat? I found out more than I ever wanted to know when I was learning how to sew. Anyways, that’s the last thing I remember. I must have blacked out somehow, and then I woke up in this miserable, filthy, completely un-ladylike place.”

Applejack hardly seemed to notice the filth all about them as she sat down to think over what Rarity had said. “Fluttershy, that about match up with what you remember from last night?”

A squeak and a nod were all they could get from the near catatonic pegasus, but between the three of them the could start filling in the gaps needed to puzzle out some sort of picture of what had gone on last night.

“Someone clearly set out to ponynap us.” Rarity said.

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed, “but were the guards trying to stop it, or were they the ones there to do it?”

“That hardly seems relevant at this point. Whoever wanted us obviously succeeded, or we wouldn't be in here,” Rarity’s gesture encompassed the cell, “and I wouldn't have this on my head.”

Applejack looked at the golden ring encircling Rarity’s horn. “There’s an awful lot of little squiggles on this thing. Think you could take down the door if I could get this thing off?”

“They’re runes to block my magic.” Rarity said as she walked over to the door. “I’m honestly not sure if I could bring this down. I’m hardly one of those poor unicorns who can barely feel any magic, but I’m a long way from Twilight Sparkle. Apparently our captor seems to think I could do some damage with my magic, or I wouldn’t have this on. And if they have any sense one of these runes will make it very difficult for anyone except the pony who put this thing on to take it off.”

“Darn,” Applejack swiped at the dust beneath them.

“It’s not so bad as that darling.” Rarity braved moving through the filth to put a comforting hoof on Applejack’s shoulder, and to take the opportunity to wipe the dirt off her hoof. “If Rainbow Dash managed to pull off a sonic rainboom then she certainly left whoever came for her in her dust. Twilight blew out half the windows in Ponyville so she clearly managed to start using her magic, and we know nopony this side of Celestia or Luna is a match for her once she gets going. And I don’t see Pinkie Pie anywhere here, do you?”

“I guess half of us getting away is better than none of us.” Applejack ventured a smile. “Still pretty embarrassing to get ponynapped so easily, If she did get away Rainbow Dash isn't gonna let me live this down for a long time.”

“Indeed,” Rarity agreed sagely. “I think when this is over I’ll take Twilight Sparkle up on her offer to teach me some more advanced magic. I shudder at how much time it will take and how many works of fashion mastery I won’t be able to make as a result. But if it keeps us out of another situation like this then I suppose it will have been worth it.”

Hoping against hope they tried to see if Applejack could remove the ring from Rarity’s horn, she couldn't. That failing, they spent awhile poking around the cell looking for any weak spots they might be able to escape through. Finding nothing they settled down to conserve their strength for any opportunity that presented itself.

Some while later, without a window she could only guess how much time had really passed, Rarity was verging on falling back to sleep. Though since it would involve lying down on that horrible filthy floor she tried desperately to avoid it. So intent was she to avoid that terrible fate that she failed to notice the sounds of approaching ponies down the hall, and was only shaken back to wakefulness when the heavy lock in the door slid back and it began to open.

She and Applejack immediately sprang to their hooves ready to take the opportunity to fight their way out. Fluttershy on the other hoof crawled even further into her corner and covered her eyes to avoid the forthcoming violence.

However, when the door opened instead of leaping forward to attack their captors Rarity and Applejack instead felt their jaws fall halfway to the ground, and even Fluttershy leapt to her hooves.

“Princess Cadance!” They all shouted, each of them feeling the first stirrings of hope since waking up in such a dismal place.

“I’m so sorry this happened girls.” Cadance walked into the dirty cell with no regard for what it would do to her coat. “The guards are all still on pins and needles after the Changeling invasion, and when things started to go wrong in Ponyville they just overreacted.”

“That’s quite all right.” Rarity took the lead in responding since she’d developed something of a rapport with the princess while re-making her wedding dress after they’d defeated Chrysalis. “There’s been no lasting harm, except to my poor coat, and now that you’re here we can set this all to right.”

“Indeed,” Cadance smiled. “It will be so wonderful to have you all here with me.”

Applejack and Rarity passed a look between each other before Rarity spoke up again. “About that your highness, do you happen to know where our friends are? We haven’t seen them since last night, and like you said there was that little fracas in Ponyville.”

“Well I need your help, even if the guards could have gone about asking for it a bit better.” Cadance’s laugh was airy but sent chills down the spines of all three ponies just the same. “I was having the most wonderful talk in the world with Pinkie Pie about how you can help me when I heard about you three down here. Of course you shouldn't be in a place like this so I came right away. You don't need to worry anymore though. I’m fixing everything so you’ll all be together soon, and then we'll fix everything.”

Rarity quirked an expertly plucked eyebrow. They knew where Pinkie Pie was, but beyond that tidbit Cadance's answer had been one of the better evasions she’d seen lately.

Nor was the evasion lost on Applejack as she tried another track to get Cadance to give them some information. “That’s good to hear your highness, but where exactly is here?”

“Somewhere that hasn't been used in awhile.” Cadance gestured to the dust still on the floor just waiting to infect Rarity’s coat with its dirtiness. “But what are we doing still standing around here? It’s been so long since I've seen you, and we shouldn't be wasting it down here.”

“It hasn't been that long at all.” Rarity was beginning to feel nervous for some reason she couldn’t put her hoof on, and by their looks Applejack and Fluttershy were feeling the same. “It’s only been a few weeks since we all saw each other in the Crystal Empire.”

“Oh but it’s been more than a few weeks since we’ve seen each other.” Cadance smiled a terrifying smile, blinked, and opened her eyes to reveal a gaze most certainly not that of Princess Cadance.

This time, when Rarity began to scream Applejack did nothing to stop her.

Spread out below her the buffalo camp might as well have been the moon as far as Twilight Sparkle was concerned. It was right there in front of her, but she could see no way to get there. And to pour salt in the metaphorical wound she could even see exactly where she needed to go. The tent near the very middle of the camp was of obvious Equestrian manufacture in stark contrast to the simply made buffalo dwellings. More telling were the dozen buffalo standing around the tent to keep any unwelcome interlopers, precisely what Twilight and her friends would be, from going inside.

“We’ve got one thing going for us.” Shining Armor muttered more to himself than the others.

“Really?” Twilight said. “Because I don’t see it.”

Shining Armor seemed a bit surprised anyone had heard him, but answered all the same. “Look at the guards, they clearly aren't expecting any trouble. They’re bored, they’re talking with each other, and we can make that work for us.”

“Why are we even worried about the guards?” Asked Spike. “We know where the tent is. Can’t Twilight just teleport in, grab the princess, and teleport back out?”

“We can and will teleport out, but going in isn't going to work.” Twilight could feel herself starting to work up a lecture and forced herself to keep the answer short. “If I teleport into someone, like say a princess, it would end really badly for them. As in they’d be lucky if they just lost a leg bad. That’s why I try to never teleport farther than I can see, and why I put us out in the middle of nowhere when we got here in the first place. If I came into the wrong place in that tent… well let’s just say that none of us want that.”

“Then how are we going to get in?” Spike pointed down at the camp below. “There’s no cover for a mile out from that place. Even if we come in the middle of the night they’ll know we’re coming long before we get there.”

“My people customarily build our camps in such a place.” Little Strongheart noted. “If a threat approaches the camp it gives us time to form a stampede against it. I am sure you are well aware of how formidable that can be.”

“Hmmm.” Twilight pondered for awhile. “Actually teleporting in could work. Not all the way in, but look at that little ravine about a hundred yards away from the camp. The buffalo wouldn't have cared because like you said we’d be spotted long before then, but if we start from there in the middle of the night.”

“Good thinking Twiley.” Shining Armor smiled at her. “It’s almost like you’re my little sister or something.”

“Thank Spike.” Twilight pointed at the dragon. “I was all set to have us walking right up to them before he got me thinking.”

“That’s great and all, but what do we do about the guards?” Braeburn had been quiet up till then. “Y’all will just poof out of here with the princess, but I’d rather not have a war on our hooves back here.”

“Depending on what shape the princess is in we might not have to worry about that.” Shining Armor said. “But we aren't going to hurt anyone we don’t have to, and then not any more than we have to. Equestria is a peaceful place, so guards are trained much more to incapacitate anyone we have to before really hurting them.”

“I hope you understand how much I want us to not hurt anyone at all.” Little Strongheart was starting to sound very plaintive about the whole enterprise.

“Relax,” Twilight said as comfortingly as possible. “When we say incapacitate we’re talking putting them to sleep for a few hours. We know that everyone Chrysalis has put under her control, even indirectly, is completely innocent in all this. I’ll only start throwing around serious magic if I see buffalo turning into Changelings.”

“And take it from experience.” Shining Armor looked very serious as he spoke. “If Chrysalis is controlling them, knocking them around will be doing them a favor.”

“We should still try to have as little conflict as possible.” Little Strongheart sounded a bit less vehement.

“We’ll be moving too fast to get into much conflict if things go even remotely to plan.” Shining Armor looked back down at the camp. “Chrysalis really wants me and Twilight , so she’s probably laced the whole camp and everywhere else she doesn't want us going with spells to let her know if we’re getting anywhere near foiling her plan. We have to assume she’ll be on her way as soon as we’re in there, so every time we have to stop to put someone to sleep is burning time we don’t have.”

“So when do we do this?” Braeburn asked.

“Tonight.” Twilight responded. “With any luck the guards will be sleepy, and most of the buffaloes will be asleep where they’re not in danger of getting hurt. Like Shining Armor said, we want to be in and out as fast as possible. We should all try to get as much rest as possible while we can. It’s going to be a long night.”

Later, as the sun was going down, everyone but Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor was asleep. Despite knowing what lay ahead the siblings had too much on their minds to sleep.

“You did pretty good with the others little sis.” Shining Armor flopped down beside Twilight in the dimming light.

“Did I? I always feel like I’m just completely making it up as I go along and everyone just acts like I know exactly what I’m talking about. I think I’m just lucky I've never gotten anyone hurt, or worse.”

“Hey,” Shining Armor made sure she was looking him in the eyes before he went on, “you did a good job back there. It’s a good plan, and they all think it will work, so do I. Stick with me little sis, I’ll make a decent guard out of you yet!”

“Yeah right.” Twilight scoffed. “What are you guys, down on your recruiting quota or something?”

“Just glad to spend some time with my little sister. Even if I wish the circumstances were better. I guess I’m just feeling better knowing that it wasn't Cadance doing all that. Chrysalis will be tough to beat, but we can fight her. And besides, I need some way to feel better about myself after spending the last time she attacked as her all you can eat buffet.”

“Not your best moment.” Twilight said with a hint of a smile in her voice.

“Yeah,” Shining Armor chuckled. “Anyways, we need to figure out what we’re going to do once we get whoever is in that camp down there. If Celestia or Luna knows where your friends are we should go get them as soon as we can and use the Elements of Harmony. There’s no telling how strong Chrysalis has gotten feeding on everyone’s love for Cadance. We should use our strongest weapon right away so she can’t hit us back.”

“If the princesses know exactly where they all are then it’s a good idea. But otherwise I think we have to stick to finding whichever princess or princesses aren’t in there. We need five other ponies to use the Elements of Harmony, and that’s much longer for Chrysalis to catch us, but if we catch Chrysalis by surprise then the two of us plus Celestia or Luna could take her out right away.”

“At least we know they’re okay.” Twilight pointed to the slowly rising moon.

“Yeah, it’s a start.”