Cow smell. Yep there it is. I'm definitely home.
As I open my eyes, a bright light shines and I put my hand in front of my face to shield it.
"You okay, buddy?" asks a voice nearby. A human voice.
I slowly sit up. "What happened?" I mumble.
I turn my head to the left to see a group of college students huddles around me. They've pulled me off of the street and are looking really worried.
"You got hit by a car," says one of them. "Some bozo ran a red light and almost made a hood ornament out of you. You were only out for a few seconds but campus security called an ambulance just to be safe."
I groggily nod and look at the car. There isn't a large dent on the hood, as much as I would just love putting one there, and there is an obviously drunk student getting questioned by the police nearby. I scoff and shake my head. "What a day," I mumble.
"Is there anybody you want us to call for you?" asks one of the students.
I rub my temples and shake my head. "I'll be okay, I think."
Yeah, it's been a while since I've thought that, but now... I think I'll be okay.
* * * *
one year later
I stretch as I recline on the couch in my room. While it isn't the best as couches go, it's comfortable enough that I can relax on it without needing a back rub afterwards. Having said that, a back rub is always nice.
A year. I've been outta Equestria for a solid year and everything has changed for me.
It turns out that I was missing for two months here on Earth. That was kind of awkward, not being able to explain to my parents where I was, but after a bunch of tests the doctors and psychologists said that I was in perfect health so the suggested that I try to go back to my previous life.
With pleasure.
I quit my job at the University Center not long after school ended for the year. I had applied for a position as a Resident Assistant at my school and that would be taking up my time so no more washing dishes. It also meant that I got a room entirely to myself. I didn't have any more roommates to worry about. No, instead I had to deal with things like roommate conflicts and writing incident reports and calling the school cops whenever I smelled pot in somebody's room. Thankfully none of that had happened yet as it was the beginning of the year for me, but I knew it was coming. Still, it was better than being in Equestria.
Speaking of that, it was much easier to tolerate my Brony roommate after I returned. He would talk about Pinkie Pie and the latest FlutterMac fanfic he read and why it was the one true pairing or something like that. I do have to say that his Pinkie Pie doll freaked me out sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night and was reminded of all of the times something like that happened to me, but with the real Pinkie Pie. Disturbingly often, let me tell you.
Well the year ended, as all years do, and as a parting gift I got him a Fluttershy action figure thingie, you know because why not? To the very end he insisted that if I just gave the show another chance then I'd grow to love it as he did.
Not for all of the tea in China, Britain, and Uzbekistan. I spent two months trying to get away from that place; I'm not going to immerse myself in it now. There'd be no point and I'd just wake up disturbed. Trust me, I know how these ponies act better than anybody on the planet, Lauren Faust and the team behind the show included, and I didn't need to watch the show. I'd lived it for longer than anybody should have to unless they want to. I know my roommate would have killed to trade places with me and I would have let him.
But you know what? After a short time I realized that it was time to move on. Yep, I'd been to Equestria and lived there for two months. Yes, I'd learned a lot from it and would never go back. No, I am not a Brony.
But I'm back on Earth in the here and the now. I don't need to keep focusing on that because it's not focusing on me. Nobody in Equestria is here on Earth looking for me. Wouldn't that be terrifying if there were somebody from Equestria here? I have no idea what I'd do.
But that wasn't happening now. I had new responsibilities, new classes, new ideas for my life and I wasn't about to give all that up to brood with my thoughts. Sure I remembered some aspects of my time there fondly, but it was time to move on.
It was probably time to move on a little while ago but hey, you do what you can.
I yawn and scratch the back of my head. A quick glance at my watch tells me that it's just about time for my floor meeting. You know, the one where I tell them what's going on, I introduce myself, and explain a few rules as well as try to get to know them a bit better.
I push myself off of the couch and put on my Canada hat that my sister got for me last Christmas. It's my favorite one; I wear it all the time. Not to mention the fact that it covers up my hair when it gets really messy, which is more frequently than I'd like to admit.
I walk into the lounge on my floor and almost take an uneasy step back at the sight of thirty college freshmen taking to each other, waiting for me to get there so they can go back to whatever it is they were doing before I called the meeting. I briefly recall the first time I saw Cheerilee's class back in Equestria. I doubt that these people will be as well behaved, though I doubt that any will call me a blank flank.
With college kids you never really do know, do you?
I don't recognize any of them so it'll be starting fresh for me with these new faces.
At least, that's what I think until I see a familiar face. My old roommate has found his way onto my floor.
I raise my eyebrow and check the roster I've been given. Yep, there is his name right where it should be if he was living on my floor which he is. Maybe I'm going to hear about more pony when I'm here.
Well, that isn't important to me right now. What’s important is that I get my floor meeting going. I can deal with Ben and his pony antics when I get to that bridge.
* * * *
The floor meeting goes well enough. Ben was surprised to see me as his RA he thought it was cool all the same. I already have a sense of what my residents are going to be like. They're a relatively well behaved bunch for the most part, if a bit rambunctious. I might have to fill out an incident report involving alcohol once and loud music way more often than that, but on the whole I think this'll be a pretty fun year for me.
Well the residents all go back to their rooms or to the dining hall, which has recently opened for dinner, and I decide to head back to my room. I need to get a bit of work done on my computer before class tomorrow so I might as well start on it now. If I get hungry then I can head over to the dining hall for some takeout.
I swipe my card and punch in my security code allowing me access into my room. I open the door and walk inside only to be stopped in my tracks by something that wasn't in there before.
A box.
I frown. Nobody can get in here except me. I'm the only one with access unless somebody used the master card to get in. Even in that instance I would have noticed since my room is right next to the lounge where I had the meeting.
I close the door behind me and walk up to the box, my frown still prevalent on my face. Part of me wonders whether or not I should call the bomb squad on this. I mean, it could be something really dangerous.
Did I mention that I'm kind of stupid when I'm curious? 'cause I totally am.
As I approach the box, I notice that it has a sticky note on the side. I reach my hand out and take the sticky note off of the box.
'She needs help. Please take care of her.'
Okay, now I'm officially nervous. Is there something alive in there? We're not allowed to have any pets in the room aside from fish so unless this box holds a big fish, then I can't have it in the dorm. Still, I might as well see what's inside before I actually go to open it. I mean, I can't react to the box unless I know what's in it.
Slowly I walk up to the box and look down at it. It's sealed with packing tape that I use my card to break. There are a few air holes in the top of the box, which does nothing to make me less nervous, and I poke my finger through them to widen them a tad.
With that, I grab the ends of both flaps and open the box.
Inside the box is somebody all too familiar to me. The white body, the curled purple mane and tail, the distinct ponyishness of her leaves no doubt in my mind as to who this is. She's a lot smaller, and therefore younger, than I remember her; but this is undoubtedly the same pony.
Rarity.
Inside the box is a sleeping filly Rarity.
Dis gon b gud story
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[youtube=udfZW8YROX8]
Ah, another story to clutter my favorites tab. Excellent.
2108653
Kronk: Wait... what does that have to--
Shoulder Angel: No no... he has a point.
>inb4 featured
osborneink.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/super-clap.gif
Hehehehe. Oh, TD. Also, story, go to the Filly Fics group! I am the head honcho there, and in my opinion, this counts!
2108685[youtube=Fv-sKP17xTw]
Okay, first off, you could almost say,
•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
He's Tea-D
Next, The middle East:
i.imgur.com/ipdcxIJ.png
I even added Uzbekistan.
And lastly, my name is Ben too. To bad I'm not a brony.
I blame Trollestia.
2108685
i have your flamingo25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3k3lc5qUk1r8et4bo1_500.gif
2108877 He IS home and that's the worst part.
2109055 As I think pretty much everybody has since the series began.
2109072
That damn neighbor!
I think this sums up TD right now:
2109103 I ment as he left Equestria
Hmm, I liked the "I'm not a brony, get me out of Equestria!" story. If I understand this right, he gets sent back but so does a little Rarity? Most intriguing. I'll have to read this, as well as the sequel to "I'm not a brony, get me out of Equestria!"
Oh, and small favor, can baby Rarity also be a serial killer? I mean, who doesn't want to kill the cable guy who says he'll show up between 8 and 4, and then shows up at 5?
2109222 Serial killer? What? Why?
2109327 I wrote a character study serial killer Rarity story creatively called The Secret Life of Rarity.
2109348 So... she kills people.
YEAHTHAT'SGREATTOTALLYNOTHINWRONGWITHTHAT. *ahem* But seriously, how do you make Rarity a serial killer while making it believable?
2109372 Would you like the short explanation or the literary critic one?
2109327 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/40334/the-secret-life-of-rarity <- I seem to have broken the url tags.
Read it and you won't regret it. He's working on the threequel so there's plenty of character studying. Also, killing, and then motives and I'll just say Rarity would do anything to protect her favorite sister >.<
And wouldn't it be adorable for filly Rarity to kill filly Trixie for turning her little filly hair green? daaaaaw.
Ok, thread hijacking aside, this was a very interesting preview of what is to come. It can't be another portal accident. Someone found it, left a note, and snuck it in. He is not a brony, but I think as the only person in the dorm with a room to himself he is stuck with her.
So in this version of events, he could convert to brony, or have his brony friend take care of that. Given TD's past experiences I doubt either of those. So where will it go from here?
Curious to see where this goes. Intriguing concept.
Moremoremoremoremoremore now kai?
I can already tell I'm gonna laugh my ass off.
Look at you! You over-achiever. Writing multiple stories at the same time! Good luck with them
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Dis gon b a gud story.
milking that story for all it's worth...
well played BronyWriter.
well played.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DID YOU END THERE!?!?!?! IT WAS GOING SUPER EXCITING!!!!!!
Damn I called it. And that kids is why we don't punch the Princesses in the face.
Well it looks like we now know where the serial killer Rarity came from.
arch.413chan.net/1288859782062.jpg
Got to make sure you get hit by that car, oh and have a rarity.
i dont know which is better, making multiple stories in an alternate universe from no i am not a brony getting outta equestria or the ability to make such. awesome. stories. EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Ferris Bueller scream at the end was great! TD must be scared out of his wits!!
So question, why would you ever want that much tea?
lolwut?
I thought he came back just as the car was about to hit him.
2109385
I was thinking something more along the lines of this:
3134988 Lord Popo approves this!
I never did quite understand the beginning. It seems like he woke up seemingly moments after he got "hit" and continued with his life relatively normally, but then he says that he was missing for two months. What?
TD did disappear on a street. If he reappeared in the same spot, there would most likely still be a street. With cars on it. Fast cars.
Thinker Gargoyles: U Mad, Bro?
3414684 Nice profile pic, mate.
3144879 Yay?
3136070 I am also confuzzled, what gives BW?
2793398 Why wouldn't you?
I remember one time I recieved a message saying "filly Twilight in a box on your coffe table" my first responce was "where the heck that coffe table comes from? "
I want to say first I do not like MLD but on the other hoof I really like TD and as of now this story is really good.
From the title of the chapter I thought it would be the TARDIS taking him back.
*reads chapter*