Poetry Slam: A One-shot

by radio414

Poetry Slam

No
No no no no no
Poetry?
Like, the thing eggheads do when they zone out?
No no no no no
No

Rhyming
Can’t do it
Would rather be free
Like a bird
Instead of a library
Trapped in here
With you

TWILIGHT
STOP
PLEASE
CANNOT
WILL NOT
Learning poetry is like all these words
Flying around inside
While I’m not flying around
Outside

A whaterick?

This is a limerick
I’m staring at a brick
I really wish I
Could just go out and fly
This poetry is making me sick

Oh, now I have to say it?
As in out loud?
Right now?
Here?

If you’re that silent because it was terrible and you don’t know where to begin, I guess I’ll be leaving now

NO
I’m not
Going to stay
YES
I’m the
Element of Loyalty
BUT
That doesn’t
Mean that I
HAVE
To do
Things I don’t
WANT
To do
BECAUSE
You are
My friend

Don’t give me that face

And just because Applejack’s The Element of Honesty doesn’t mean
You are allowed to lie to my face
The whateverick was terrible, and you know it

Hey, put me down!
Just let me fly away!

You know, when you said “poetry slam”
I thought we’d spend our afternoon lobbing Shel Silversteed books at each other

What? More writing?

A what?

The pegasus flies
Loving the open-aired skies
It’s not a surprise

No
I’m not going to stand here and humiliate myself by reading this out loud.
You can’t make me

*sigh*

There, I said it
Can I go now?

I promised to come over and “hang out”
If this is your idea of “hanging out”
…

We can do something fun now?

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I promise I’ll be back in 15 minutes

Don’t look at me like that

…

That’s not fair
You can’t use your unicorn magic
Just
To get me
Back inside

A break? Fifteen minutes is a break?

Don’t say that word “Free”
Because the second bit “Verse”
It’s an oxymoron

You can’t promise that it’s going to be fun
Poetry’s the worst thing under the sun

A cou-what?

No
I don’t believe you
You’re wrong
The definition’s wrong
I
Rainbow Dash
Am in no way
Talented
At
Poetry

Twilight, it was a sentence that just happened to rhyme.
Not poetry.

Oh, now you have to read some?
Out loud?

Those short ones were nice
The kind of poems you could read on the fly
PUT ME DOWN
As much as I’d love to, I don’t think I’ll be leaving.
You wouldn’t let me.
So don’t start freaking out every time I mention flight.
NOW THAT’S JUST CRUEL

Are we done?

MORE?

I can’t stand this.
Can I go now?
If I let you read one more, can I leave?
Promise?
Pinkie Promise?
Fine.

Good night Twi’

…

Hey Twilight, wake up
I’m still not into poetry
But I had a question
About the one
With the wheelbarrow

GO AWAY SPIKE
sorry

What was my question?
Well
Why is this
“red wheelbarrow”
So important?
It’s not even doing its job
It just sits there
Like you
sorry

And what was with that poem anyway?
It didn’t rhyme
It just was

Not all poems rhyme?

Don’t use the words “free” and “verse” in the same sentence
We’ve been over this already

That explanation’s stupid
No rules?
Then how do you get only good poems
In books?

You mean
That people
Try really hard
To write good poems?

Hmph
That’s a stupid comparison
I had to work really really hard to win those competitions
And you had to work really really hard to ace those tests
All they had to do was put words to a page

NO
I already tried yesterday, remember?

I’m not going to stoop to their level and write this “free verse” that you keep talking about

Fine
But you had better do something really good for me in return

There once
Was
A
Pegasus
Who hated
Poetry
But
Wrote it anyway

See?
That took less than ten seconds
I could be clearing skies
But instead I’m in here
See you later, Twilight

…

Hey Twilight, I was thinking
Did that wheelbarrow poem have a sequel?
Like all those Daring Do stories
The ones where her wings are broken and she’s hanging onto a cliff for dear life
You know those?

It doesn’t?

How about a prequel?
Like “Daring Do is hanging on to a cliff, here’s how she got into this mess”
Those are my favorite because the action starts right away

No?

Then why is the wheelbarrow important?

Nice try, Twilight
But you can’t make me write it
It’s the author’s work
I can’t just add on to it willy nilly
It’d be like somepony else writing Daring Do books
It wouldn’t be the same

Anyway, thanks for answering my question
I’ll be seeing you later

…

HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE?
Oh right, magic.

You wanted to stop by for a visit?
That’s sweet, but I’m pretty busy

Tank’s sick

No no, nothing to be concerned about
Fluttershy’s been helping me
Thanks for checking in though
I appreciate it

Maybe you could come back later?

Back already?
Look, you’re a great friend and all, but don’t you think that there’s something you need to be doing?

Are you sure?

Of course you saw Fluttershy at the market just recently
Where else would she buy medicinal supplies?

I will have you know that carrots are very medicinal

Fine
You can come in
I’m apologize for lying to you

What are all these papers?
Just some stuff I’m jotting down for a personal project
Definitely nothing about a red wheelbarrow
Or rainwater

FINE
I liked the poem
BUT
I don’t like what Bill Coltos did to me
Can I call him Bill?

He painted a picture in my mind
I’ve been trying to get rid of it for a while
Stupid wheelbarrow
Stupid rain

That’s how you tell good poetry from bad?
Words that make pictures?
Isn’t a picture worth a thousand words?
Because this wheelbarrow is only fifteen

Why are you still reading that stuff I wrote?

Wait, you think they’re pretty good?
How?

What does “brevity” mean?

So, you’re saying that because my “poetry”
My “free verse”
Is short
It allows more to the imagination?

So, like what William Coltos did to me?

Wow

Wait, you’re trying to compile some poems for a book?
And you want this one to be one of them?

Fine, but don’t put my name on it.
I have an image to keep.

***

The Red Wheelbarrow
By: William Carlos Williams
so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

***

The Red Wheelbarrow (response)
By: Anonymous

the red wheel
barrow

without it where
would

the snow white
chickens

hide from the
rain?

Comments

[The Elusive Badgerpony]

This is an okay bit of poetry, although it feels a bit a bit stiff. And even free-verse has a bit more flow to it. But keep up the good work!

[radio414]

2084951
Yay criticism! The best kind of comments!

I'm not kidding. I would much rather prefer this to heavy compliments and a mass of emoticons, so thank you.

[Prince Solstice]

Why does it bother me that this is so clever? Somehow it gives off a story through a bunch of poetry, and it's pretty funny. Still, I can't help but feel like the whole poetry thing is starting to get a little abused. This is good, but people can't help you improve your writing if it's just poetry. There isn't anything except personal interpretation of poetry. I think I understand this story, but I can also go into how it's trying to ship Rainbow Dash and Twilight. I just need support to back it up. Anyways, this is just my view on story-like poetry.

Final Verdict:
I cannot help you
I only help with stories
Poems are not stories.

[radio414]

2085004
There once was a reader of Fimfiction
Who accused poetry as a lack of good diction
But when they tried to review
They became torn in two
And his verdict had a clear contradiction

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. As soon as I realized the verdict was in haiku (That is, if you live in a place where it's poems instead of Poh-ems), I had to reply.

Is poetry really overdone on this site? I guess I need to read more. Or less, if what you say is true.

[Prince Solstice]

2085062 It's not necessarily over done (yet), it's just popping up a lot more than it used to. I really don't mind too bad (because I enjoy poetry), but there is some truth behind reviewing poetry. Sometimes it's just bad, and you can tell them that, but when you read good poems, it's hard to give advice on how to improve as a writer. When you read good stories you can always give advice even if its simply stating that the lines were a little confusing. There will always be room for improvement with stories, but poems just are harder to review.
I would love to learn if there is a proper review for poetry, because the only thing I know how to do is decide a message and determine the purpose, but I can always be proven wrong. Oh well.
Thank you for the poem, I like how clever you are. Sadly yes I do come from a place where they are Poh-ehms. Still didn't keep me from reading and writing them.

Now I give you the shortest short story by Ernest Hemingway rewritten for ponies. For sale: foal shoes, never worn.

[The Elusive Badgerpony]

2085002 You're welcome. I'm a co-president of my school's poetry club, so I (claim to) know good poetry. We're actually going to a slam in a few weeks, I'm psyched. Seeing something like this is a good sign that poetry has a place in this fandom.