Raindrops, Carrot Top, and Cheerilee must partner with a government official and an old enemy to get to the bottom of a series of mysterious disappearances in Canterlot.
Something stirs beneath Equestria, dark forces and evil organizations plan to usurp the peace of the world. Sensing the coming storm, the Wizard searches for one who will defend this world, and become Equestria's Mightest Mortal!
Set in the Lunaverse, Trixie and her friends are attacked at sea by a gang of vicious pirates. After Raindrops, Dinky and Pip are taken captive, Trixie and co set sail to get them and their stolen treasure back!
A dragon is waging war against Equestria. Families get separated and Raindrops; the daughter of a military scientist might be able to make a bigger difference than she thinks.
Agreeing with the previous comment there are a few grammar errors and a few spelling mishaps here and there but I find myself doing that as well. What can help you is copy and pasting the story into a Microsoft word document. Then click review and select spelling and grammar. This checks your grammar and spelling. When you are done editing you copy and paste it right back into the edit screen, hit save, and then publish. Over-all however this is a very good story and I am waiting to see more.
Foal is gender neutral. Filly = female. Male = colt. Unless Featherweight has genetic issues, he got the wrong label. Well, not that it matters, now that he's dead, jerk. I like Featherweight. The dog has definitely been kicked.
You got a few minor grammar errors that you repeat.
Also, what's with the text wall of dialogue midway through?
Agreeing with the previous comment there are a few grammar errors and a few spelling mishaps here and there but I find myself doing that as well. What can help you is copy and pasting the story into a Microsoft word document. Then click review and select spelling and grammar. This checks your grammar and spelling. When you are done editing you copy and paste it right back into the edit screen, hit save, and then publish.
Over-all however this is a very good story and I am waiting to see more.
2080438
Thanks for reading it.
I'm sorry about that, I'll be more careful with the grammar in Chapter 2
Wow only one chapter posted and I'm really liking this! Cannot wait for the next one!
0/10000000000000000000
NO GARFIELD
DO NOT READ
A TALE OF TWO KITTIES WAS BETTER
FUCK THIS SHIT
i.imgur.com/Vdy3CZI.jpg
Chapter 2?
Foal is gender neutral.
Filly = female.
Male = colt.
Unless Featherweight has genetic issues, he got the wrong label.
Well, not that it matters, now that he's dead, jerk. I like Featherweight. The dog has definitely been kicked.
2170198
Thanks I did not know this, sorry about that I've fixed it now though.
Very interesting. It's sad that Toxic could be that cruel but it gives her major character traits. very well written. Keep it up.