• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 20th, 2016

ArsonBjork


T

A dragon is waging war against Equestria.
Families get separated and Raindrops; the daughter of a military scientist might be able to make a bigger difference than she thinks.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 9 )

You got a few minor grammar errors that you repeat.
Also, what's with the text wall of dialogue midway through?

Agreeing with the previous comment there are a few grammar errors and a few spelling mishaps here and there but I find myself doing that as well. What can help you is copy and pasting the story into a Microsoft word document. Then click review and select spelling and grammar. This checks your grammar and spelling. When you are done editing you copy and paste it right back into the edit screen, hit save, and then publish.
Over-all however this is a very good story and I am waiting to see more.

2080438
Thanks for reading it.
I'm sorry about that, I'll be more careful with the grammar in Chapter 2

Wow only one chapter posted and I'm really liking this! Cannot wait for the next one!

0/10000000000000000000
NO GARFIELD
DO NOT READ
A TALE OF TWO KITTIES WAS BETTER
FUCK THIS SHIT

i.imgur.com/Vdy3CZI.jpg

Foal is gender neutral.
Filly = female.
Male = colt.
Unless Featherweight has genetic issues, he got the wrong label.
Well, not that it matters, now that he's dead, jerk. I like Featherweight. The dog has definitely been kicked.

2170198
Thanks I did not know this, sorry about that I've fixed it now though.

Very interesting. It's sad that Toxic could be that cruel:fluttercry: but it gives her major character traits. very well written. Keep it up. :pinkiehappy:

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