Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo sat in the lower section of the Carousel Boutique, waiting for Rarity to come back. While they waited, they sat at the kitchen table. Sweetie Belle was looking down at the table, her thoughts racing through her mind about what her sister was going to say. Scootaloo sat across from her, a worried look on her face as she watched her unicorn friend looking worried and doubtful.
“Don’t worry about it, Sweetie Belle,” the Pegasus filly said with a smile, “Everything will be alright, you’ll see.”
“How can you be so sure?” asked Sweetie Belle, “How do you know she’s going to approve of us being together?”
“I just know,” she answered, her reassuring smile on her face, “You need to calm down and stop worrying so much!”
“I’ll try,” she replied, letting out a small sigh of worry.
Before either of them could say anything else to each other, they heard the sound of the front door of the Boutique open. Hesitantly, Sweetie Belle got up and made her way to see if it was Rarity who had walked in. However, she didn’t need to walk too far before she was face-to-face with her older sister.
“Oh, hey sis,” she said, worry clearly evident on her face.
Rarity didn’t say anything to her, at least not yet. The only thing she did say was, “Scootaloo, I’d like a moment alone with my sister.”
Only nodding in response, Scootaloo got up from the table, passed a reassuring smile to Sweetie Belle and headed out the front door of the Boutique.
When they heard the sound of the door opening and closing, the two unicorn siblings made their way to the kitchen table and sat down. Rarity could see that Sweetie Belle was worried about what she was going to say. However, the only problem that the older unicorn was facing was how to tell her.
After several moments of silence between them, Rarity let out a small sigh and cleared her throat. “Sweetie Belle, I’ve been thinking really hard about what you said to me earlier, about you and Scootaloo being ‘together’.”
The filly only lowered her head in response, feeling a bit of shame and guilt rushing over her. She felt like she wanted to cry, but no tears were in her eyes at the moment. All the same, her heart raced and her mind could only prepare for the worse.
Rarity sighed again and continued, “I admit that I am a little bit uneasy about you two being together like that, only because you two are still very young and have the rest of your lives ahead of you.”
Sweetie Belle nodded in acknowledgement, finding it really hard to look Rarity in the eyes.
“However, after thinking about it, and after all that has been said and done within the past few days, I feel that I’ve come to a conclusion,” stated Rarity, her voice firm and regal.
Still bracing for the worst, Sweetie Belle scrunched her eyes closed and waited for the response. However, what she heard come out of her sister surprised her to the point of disbelief.
“I might be your older sister, but it’s not right for me to stand in the way of what makes you truly happy,” she said, a reassuring smile on her face, “If you really feel comfortable being with Scootaloo in this kind of way, then you have my support.”
“Really?” asked Sweetie Belle, her face lighting up like a light bulb.
“Only on two conditions,” said Rarity, looking her sister in the eyes.
This sent an uneasy chill to run down the filly’s spine, not having a single clue as to what “conditions” Rarity had in mind.
“Okay,” she said, her voice becoming low and soft.
“First of all, you have to promise me that you will not lie to me about something like this again,” she said, “I know I don’t have any right to snoop into your private and personal business, but when it comes to something like this, I really should be told the truth.”
The filly nodded as the older mare continued, “The other condition is simple: if you two have any problems, whether it’s somepony at school or from somepony in town, please let me know. You have my support on this, but if anypony presents a problem about this, let me be the one who handles it. Well, Sweetie Belle, do we have a deal?”
Rarity extended a hoof to her sister, hoping to shake on their agreement. However, much to Rarity’s surprise, the little filly got up from her seat and gave her a big, tight hug. Shocked that she had done this, Rarity simply smiled and returned the hug to her. She could tell that the filly was happy that she had supported her decision about this.
“Thank you, Rarity,” the filly whispered, “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, Sweet’ums,” she replied, feeling tears of happiness beginning to form in the corners of her eyes, “I love you.”
“I love you too, sis,” said Sweetie Belle, as she kissed her sister on the cheek. Then, she made her way to the front door of the Boutique; no doubt she was going to tell Scootaloo about her decision on the matter, Rarity thought.
Rarity trotted to the front window of the Boutique and looked out the window. She could see that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were both pretty happy about what she had said. Letting out a small sigh of happiness, she smiled to herself and began making her way up the stairs to her work room, ready to finish her dress she was working on and feeling very proud of herself that she made her sister happy.
“See, Sweetie Belle, I told you there was nothing to worry about,” said Scootaloo with the same reassuring smile on her face, “Now you can stop feeling so guilty about not letting Rarity in about us being together.”
“Yeah, I guess you were right, Scoots,” she said, nudging her friend on the neck, “How could I have ever doubted you?”
“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, “Come on, Sweetie Belle! We agreed to meet Apple Bloom at the clubhouse today. She says she has a few new ideas on how we can earn our cutie marks!”
“Okay,” said the unicorn filly with a smile, “Let’s get going.”
With that, the two fillies began making their way to their clubhouse over at Sweet Apple Acres. As they galloped down the main roads of Ponyville, they couldn’t help but smile at one another every now and then.
They felt very happy with one another, as they made their way down the dirt road towards the farmhouse. Their best friend was supportive of them, their other friends and family were supportive of them and everypony else didn’t seem to mind that they were together. They no longer had to worry about keeping their relationship a secret anymore and were free to show their love for one another in public.
Soon, their galloping slowed to a trot, as they were both a little out of breath from running. As they slowed, Sweetie Belle leaned in and gave Scootaloo a small kiss on the cheek, whispering to her, “I love you, Scootaloo.”
The Pegasus filly returned the kiss and said, “I love you too, Sweetie Belle.”
As they trotted down the dirt path, they both had smiles on their faces, knowing that this was only the beginning of the rest of their lives together.
The End
Cutest romance story...EVER! I'm very impressed by this story, anything that hass to do with CMC I'm down, you did very well and I thank you for pouring out your mind for a such a great story.
This was such a sweet way to end the story. I loved it. Just so much cute.
I like it...
So much reading to do! I'll give feedback when I finish, but this seems very interesting
That was a beautiful ending. You really had me scared there about whether Rarity was going to support her sister or not. Awesome fic, and I'm very glad to have inspired its creation.
...Yes, I copy-pasted this same comment across all three sites.
Nice neat wrap-up for the story. It's good to see that Rarity is going to be there for her sister, and things are ending on a strong upbeat note. Now, all the fillies need to do is finally discover their special talents, and they'll be all set. But that's (as the saying goes) a tale for another time. It's been an interesting ride through the events here, I hope to see more from you in the future.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applebloom.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png
Yes! You finally posted this on fimfiction!
I read this while it was still on fan fiction.net and loved it! I did a double take when I saw this in the feature box.
You are even better at endings than I remember, old chum. Now,*puts on monocle and tophat* To the great sophistication of random betting! Place your bets here! We except cheddar biscuits and live shrimp if you do not have the necessary amunt of bits to place a bet.
What are the bets on? I don't know.
super cute!
keep up the good work!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-LO4qcGPBLbs/Twyx68HezFI/AAAAAAAAak0/_o7mHmjgaiU/s640/110087+-+artist+zlack3r+artist+zlacker+book+crying+filly+sad+twilight_sparkle.png
On a much much much much muchier-much much happier note, I can't stop smiling!
I love CMC romance stories like this.
there are no words just,
Well it's the end of the road, and Darkshadow you were great. Kinda sad to see it over. If you ever write a new story or maybe a sequel to this. (set a few years later maybe.) I'll gladly read it. (And proof read it if you need any help.)
829798>>829854>>829988>>830012>>830055>>830063>>830133>>830186>>830246>>830265>>830413>>830079>>830031
Thank you for the support! I'm glad you approve of this ending as opposed to the original ending! Now that this story is done, I can get to work on the next piece of fan-fiction I already have planned! More details coming soon...
830079
The bets can be about anything you want them to be! Whether it's what the next story will be about to who's going to be in them! The choice is up to you!
830031
As I stated on DA, it should be me thanking you for inspiring me to write this story! Thanks for everything! I'll be reading more of your story soon! Keep up the amazing work! I owe it all to you!
830430
It was a great story, and I'm so happy that I found it. I'm really looking forward to what you have planned next.
... DAW!
Wonderful story! I have enjoyed almost every chapter as they updated (and the comment during some said chapters ). Though some of the scenes felt a bit rushed at certain points, or characters changing their minds relatively quickly in some scenes, this story is on my top ten favorite FIM stories on the side!
Great job!
Wow, I'm slow on the draw!
Wonderful story. I liked it throughout. That said, it is time for my ever famous (not really famous at all) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, where we take a look at what was good in the story, what was bad in the story, and the formatting/grammar in general. AWAY WE GO!!!
The Good: Ok, I'm going to straight up say this right here: CMC romance yay stories always get me, so that is going to be a plus right off of the bat. The characters all are themselves, and I can't think of any character that doesn't act like... well... them. A lot of times, authors will have the characters act how they want them to just to allow for something to happen, yet they don't allow for any sort of explanations on why the characters act the way they do. Ok, sure Sweetie in the show probably wouldn't have a crush on Scoot, but whatever!
However, my all time favorite thing you did with this story was the whole "Scott" thing. It seems weird to even say it, because its so simple, but its totally something that a kid would do, and you made it fit in with the way Sweetie was panicking about everything. Not only was the idea splendid, but the implementation of it was amazing. I can totally see Rarity doing everything to make sure Sweetie is happy and safe, while I can at the same time see Sweetie trying her very best to keep the web of lies together, even if it was impossible from the get-go.
All in all, the story was cute, fit the age of the fillies in how they decided on things, and the characters never broke who they were once.
The Bad: Disclaimer: Even if your story is amazing, it is much easier to pinpoint on "bad" things than good, so because of that, I'm going to focus on two aspects: details and characters.
When I say details, I mean that you didn't set the scene extremely well very often, especially when it came to Sweetie confessing to Scoot at the edge of the woods. Now, I'll admit, you did the body language well, and I always knew what the pair were doing, but what else was there to set the scene? I THINK (its been a while, and I couldn't find it in searching) that you mentioned it was raining, which is a good start, but go on with it! Tell how the bite of the fridgid rain is making the pair that much more uncomfortable. Talk about how the wind is blowing their manes and tails to the side, making hiding behind their manes (like Futtershy does) impossible. Say how the howling of the wind and rain together makes the dark unknown of the Everfree that much creepier. Anything! Not only will it set the scene that much better, but (if you want this) it will make your chapters longer
Now, about characters. "But wait ugugg93! You just said I did uber l33t on characters!!!" Well I did... in KEEPING them in character. When I say in character this time, I speak specifically about implementation, utilization, and basically WHO. Rainbow Dash, while a certain reader of this story wanted otherwise, had NO purpose in this story. It was an interesting cameo, but in all honesty, if you took that entire scene out, there wouldn't have been a single issue with the story. The same is KINDA the same with Twilight. You had her in one scene for a single goal, then she was never to be seen again. Pinkie Pie would've been a better choice, if only because she's BEEN in the story before. Finally, the last character I had an issue with (sorta) was Applejack. Sue was great in the beginning, being Rarity's conscience and all, but then she sort of disappeared. Why didn't Rarity go to her about the whole Sweetie liking Scoot, especially since that orange pony had been so helpful with everything before. Sure, I just said Pinkie was a better choice, but Applejack would've been a nice choice as well.
The Ugly: Ok, I'm going to straight up say this now rather than beat around the bush: the grammar in this story is great. Sure, there were a few typos here and there, but most are insignificant, or I can't even recall them from memory. All I CAN remember is that in the beginning, your grammar was a little iffy, but you fixed that quite well by the end of the story, so I must commend you on that. Also, something that I suggest you do is put an extra line between paragraphs. Sure, proper writing doesn't have that extra line, but for reading fanfics, it helps, especially when you have the series of those longer paragraphs.
As for the final verdict? Damn amazing. Unlike a lot of fanfics out there, this one held my attention all throughout the story. Your decision to expand it by three paragraphs was a good one, and I am glad that you finished it where you did. My only regret is that the chapter "New Discoveries" is not the final chapter anymore, but that is a very very minor sadface situation.
Oh, and I would like to take a moment to thank every single one of the commentors. You all made this story that much more, and I haven't seen as amazing of comments on this site ever, so with that I thank you. Also, if/when this freak of an author writes a new story... I will be there... with a wager
The whole story is amazing! I enjoyed every word of this story!
830430
Awesome...
We will be doing bets on both of them.
What is the next story going to be about?
and
Who will be in it?
We shall start with...830900
You go first.
830186 That picture... It says it all.
829798>>829854>>829988>>830012>>830031>>830055>>830063>>830133>>830186>>830246>>830265>>830265>>830430>>830589>>830809>>831098>>831461>>831658
What story will he do next? Hmmm... well... the stories you are tracking is kinda random, so I can't tell what story you might do from that.
Looking at your Fanfction site, I can't figure out what you might do from that... though it tends towards romance...
That said, I'm going to say that the next fanfic is going to be Something involving Rarity shipping with... hmmm... lets say Twilight. If that's not it, then I'm going to go with a story involving your alicorn OC, but this is less likely.
THERE!!!
farm6.static.flickr.com/5251/5394616925_6f5dd9b5e2.jpg
832084
Alright... that is... a variety of coins and bills of many currencies...
Alright:
831658>>831098>>830809>>830589>>830452>>830413>>830265>>830186>>830133>>830063>>830055>>830031>>830012>>829988>>829798
You guys are next. What is will his next story be about? And who will be the main characters?
Place your bets!
Don't be surprised if I take a little jockey's fee out though...
832084 832131 Twilight takes Sweetie Bell and begins to teach her magic. In doing so, she starts to get to know a more personal side of Rarity...
I bet this many bits!
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/0/00/Holla_holla_get_dollah.png
832505
Alright: That is eight on you.
831658>>831098>>830589>>830452>>830413>>830265>>830186>>830133>>830063>>830055>>830031>>830012>>829988>>829798
Now for the rest of you.
I am most certainly not spending my jockey's fees on thieving tools to steal from you guys. No...
832084 He will do a Sparity fic, because ponies.
+=
832636>>832581>>832505 832084 NNOOOOOO!!! Anything but a Spike/Rarity fic, my friend please, I really, really dislike that pairing....and I'm down for some Twilight/Fluttershy or Applejack, maybe even a Spike/Twilight...ok I lied, I WANT a Spike/Twilight!!! Please!!!
But I would not mind a CMC romance with two of three getting together...that pairing is rare and is needs to be known a bit more.
832084
I'm going to have to go with what Midnight_Quill said, he read my thoughts before posting that.
832636
Well, the writer will be the one to ultimately decide. For the record, however, pairings such as Sparity and Soarin/Dash are more likely to happen in the show's canon than any of the silly mane 6 ships.
832654 Whoops, tagged myself. Read the previous comment good sir.
832741 Nice one, and I know, but in all reality there is no romance in the show...many people just make choices on what they believe should be the canon...I disagree, although maybe not on the Soarin/Dash....I don't know, nothing wrong there right. But everyone has there own views on the matter, I, in my own view, just think there there needs to be something new in a romance story then what may have been done time and time again, ya know? But I understand your words of speech, good sire.
832581
Well... I know this is going to sound crazy.
But I think his next story will be about ponies.
832654
I did just link him to one of the really good fics from the pairing you are bashing, but that is because I know the story so far is good, and decided he needed to check it out. A good story is well worth examining.
Actually, I am of the opinion that you can do something that has been done before if you can put a truly unique spin on the idea. Shakespeare took every single one of his plots for his plays from other writers. We mostly remember just Shakespeare's version. A method of storytelling, an idea, a background, a rare archetype, or even a good villain. Your own unique spin.
Believe me: it is very hard to do something that hasn't been done before. So put your own spin on it.
833287
Really? I never would have guessed that. Need to get my eyes checked. *Pulls out eyeballs.*
Really wish I could see them, but I probably should have just gone to my optometrist.
832084>>831658>>831098>>830809>>830589>>830452>>830413>>830265>>830186>>830133>>830063>>830055>>830031>>830012>>829988>>829798
I have some inkling of what he might do... but, as I am the jockey and have access to all your bits, I am forbidden from betting. I know he can be a bit unpredictable... from his old stories. But, I can tell you he will make you hysterical with unbridled laughter, at times. Let me just say that he gave me some of the most useful advice I have gotten while writing. And gave one of the best complements to my old co-writer and I. He actually said our story was "too funny". That was the moment I started calling him my friend. He is an awesome guy to know, as I am sure you all are fully aware. I also want you guys to know that I appreciate the acceptance here in these comments, even though I came late to the party. You guys are awesome, you know that. Funny how a story can bring a group of people together, no?
So, I just want to say, to my old friend:
830430
Thanks, for all that you have accomplished. And thanks for your wonderful story, and all that it has accomplished. You truly are an awesome friend to have, and I appreciate all you have done that has helped and influenced me, old buddy. Thanks, for everything.
832084 832131 832505 833287
In fact, it's hard to tell what will his next story be about. Maybe, it will be a shipping story about Rarity/Twilight or Rarity/Applejack.
To tell the truth, I would like to see any couple with ponies from the Mane 6 or from CMC.
The most important thing about any story is that a story is well written.
And after reading "New Discoveries" I'm certain, that his next stories will be well written.
It doesn't matter for me, if the story would be with sad or tragedy tags, as long as it has kind of happy ending for main characters.
It's just too much for my heart and feelings, when stories have sad / tragic endings, even if stories are good.
A few things I gotta say...
832131 That's equal to about 10 dollars of top shelf liquor or something. We'll go with that.
832505 That's... a very familiar picture.... HMMM!!!
832654 You... are probably the complete opposite with me when it comes to shipping those pairs. I love Spike&Rarity, and I absolutely HATE Spike&Twilight. Pretty much for the obvious reasons.
832731 How is Soarin&Dash canon in the show in the slightest? Not trying to start an argument; I'm honestly curious. I don't think they've interacted at all together...
833287 He ends up writing a Humanized MLP story
And finally... I think its funny that I wrote a monster review up there... no comments. I start a bet... a flood occurs
833897 That was just an example. I meant hetero pairings in general are far likelier in the show's canon than mane 6 ships.
833910
Ah ok. I got ya. I misunderstood what ya meant
I wished i could have been a back ground pony... just once on a fiction great such as this
833366
I'm going to put my bits on a RariDash fic. Mainly because there aren't enough of those.
833897
Actually, I started the bet. You began the betting.
Though you did do it first, to be fair.
833897 Agreed, but hey...everyone has their own views on pairing, I really like Spike/Twilight but that's my own view, Spike/Rarity seems to be the only pairing I truly despise but that's just me. I'm down for anything else in all honestly...oh, maybe a FlutterMac if you like that pairing.
833897
Okay... That is more discernible. Now to translate that into bits...
Okay, having a few technical difficulties. *calculator explodes for no good reason* Got to go get a new one... but that is around... 70... 80 bits, I think. Not sure.
*New calculator falls from the sky* Thanks, Saxton Hale!
Where did he go?
834229
Alright. Awesome... Whose next?
.........words can not explain what i have read here today.... but dear god tell me you are going to make a sequeal!?!
942163
to stay warm when it's cold
to stay dry when she's wet
to keep dirt off of her
to prevent too much exposure from the sun
need I continue, mate?
Fantastic ending to a fantastic story.
Woo!
Any chance of a sequel? Maybe a fast-forward to adulthood?
944199 I agree with him/her. A fast forward to adult-hood would be pretty awesome.
I really liked this story, I've read one ScootaBelle story before(Moving On, I don't remember the author's name, but the story has been featured twice and the author is a Moderator and EQD pre-reader) and I loved it. They were young mares in that story though, 18 years old. I like this younger pairing, they still have that young love that doesn't have anything more going on than just kisses and such.
Great story, liked and added to my favorites.
This was adorable. Perfect in every way.
Even if I'm completely unsure if a filly my age should be around here, I have to tell you that New Discoveries is one of the greatest stories I've ever read! The way it all starts is believable, the feeling of being burrowed through between nineteen and twenty, the characters kept well-written and realistic through the whole entire thing, the hilarious situation about 'Scott...' Ha, it was so good that I've read it eight times! It's been almost two weeks since reading it again, so I'll reread the whole thing tonight alone. You've introduced me to the totally undernourished world of Scootabelle!
Oh no, I've said too much! This isn't my permananent account; i just needed the help. If eleven-twelve is too young here, than I'm out like a light. I literally squealed like a fanfilly upon seeing 'Dance With Me!' Great read. 8,
1294296
Glad you enjoyed both stories, mate!
1296638
Honestly, you deserve more recognition. Writing two great, adorable crusader-based stories rated for everypony is something to be admired. I hope I'll see more soon in the ponydom, and either way, I'll try Sonic.