Outro (Author's Notes)
Introduction
If you are reading this, then you must have already read [and hopefully enjoyed] my story, “New Discoveries”. However, I felt that something about this story is left a little incomplete, even several months after the story’s completion. So, I have decided to create this little outro to put to rest some things about this story, give a few fun facts about it and give most of you a little surprise in the end. So, here we go!
Inspiration for Writing [In general]
When I became a brony, back in July 2011, I told myself that I wasn’t going to get actively involved with the fandom like I did with other series that I am involved with. Much like Rainbow Dash and her Cutie Mark, it wasn’t until my first fan-fiction reading in this fandom that I decided that I wanted to create a story that was revolutionary, but believable. And thus, my writing excursion for MLP: FiM began!
Inspiration for Writing [The Story itself]
The inspiration for “New Discoveries” comes from three different sources:
1) Season 2, Episode 5: “Sisterhooves Social”. This episode, being the first that didn’t have Twilight in the episode, is where the ideas began. Having watched this episode, it sparked the idea to do a story that involved Rarity and Sweetie Belle. However, I decided the main focus of the story was going to be on the latter of the two, just to make it interesting.
2) Story: “The Sweetest Gem” by The Rarispy. With deciding Sweetie Belle as the main character, the question remained: what am I going to do with her? I began looking on FanFiction for any story involving her, just so I can get an idea in my head. It was there that I found the original draft of the story, “The Sweetest Gem”. It was unique because it was a story was about Sweetie Belle and Spike forming a relationship without being very cliché but believable. Not wanting to follow the same path, I decided that I was going to do a shipping story involving Sweetie Belle, but not with Spike. However, the question was: with whom?
3) Season 1, Episode 23: “The Cutie Mark Chronicles”. Although this episode is one of my least favorite episodes, I must admit that it was this episode that helped with the final piece of the puzzle. Having watched the episode to try and study my source material, I came across the ending of the episode where Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom go “Awwww!” and Scootaloo goes “Ewwwww!”. It was then that I decided that the pony that I was going to ship was Scootaloo because, just based on this episode, it showed that the orange filly wasn’t going to be so quick to jump into a relationship of any kind! So, to involve her in this story would be both romantic and hysterical! Of course, if Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were going to be in it, then Apple Bloom would have to be in it as well [more hilarity ensues when the three of them are together, after all!]
Problems
One of the major problems I faced when deciding to do a Sweetie Belle x Scootaloo story [respectably called “Scootabelle”] was the fear that no one was going to read it and/or enjoy it. I did some research on DeviantArt and saw that the shipping was not as popular as the shipping with the Mane 6. This discouraged me and nearly talked me out of doing this story. However, much like the first fanfic I read, I was aiming for writing something that would be revolutionary and one that the fandom would remember forever [I don’t think I succeeded, but here’s hoping!] So, I decided to upload it, regardless if no one was going to read it!
The second problem I faced when writing this was writing a story that involved a “yuri” shipping [or two females in a relationship]. Although I was familiar with writing romance stories, I was treading new grounds when doing a romance story involving two females [who are very young, might I add]. I was worried that I was going to be looked at as being some sort of freak for doing this. What convinced me to go along with it anyway was that the story was going to be believable. They might be young, but love knows no boundaries, so long as it isn’t involving “clop” of any kind!
“Cupcakes”, anyone?
As you’ve already seen, I made a constant reference to the grimdark story, “Cupcakes” throughout the entirety of this story. If you’re wondering why I chose to reference such a story, well it’s simple: “Cupcakes” was the first fan-fiction that I ever read in this fandom! I heard about it via a youtube comment and was curious as to what it was. So, I looked it up, found it and read it! Was it the best story in the world? No, of course not! Was it the worse story in the world? Again, no, it wasn’t! If there was a word to label this story it’s this: revolutionary! This story opened the door to many other stories of a similar nature. Just the mere mention of this story and everyone knows what you’re talking about! That was the goal with this story [which, again, probably didn’t succeed], to create a story that, just the mention of the name, would catch the memory of everyone!
As a head nod to the story, for being the motivation to write a story in the first place, I made the references in the story that suggested that this story might have taken place in the same universe. Believe it or not, only three of the references were planned out ahead of time [Chapters 2, 6, and 13]. All the rest were thought up of on the spot and worked into the story on a whim of playing around!
An original epilogue of the story was going to be another play on the story in which it showed Rainbow Dash in the basement of Sugar Cube Corner, but I decided against it because it would have lessened the credibility of the story and totally side-tracked the readers from what the main point of the story was about [if I want to do a “Cupcakes” spin-off, I’ll do one, but not in this story].
Other Fun Facts
In Chapter 21, Rarity begins to have the feeling of failure overcome her for not being able to protect her sister from heart break. The original plot of this section was going to have Rarity going on a rage-driven spree of insanity, trying her best to find “Scott” and bring him to justice for Sweetie Belle. However, this was removed because, for Rarity to do something like that [which was labeled “turning Equestria upside-down for just one pony”] seemed a little out-of-character and unnecessary; she needed to be there for her sister, not abandoning her to look for a nonexistent pony!
Fluttershy was originally going to be in the story! She was going to have a small cameo after the storm, in Twilight’s library with Twilight and Applejack [Chapter 23]. Originally, SHE was going to make the “Cupcakes” reference in that scene, but gets scared when Rarity, still angry and hell-bent on finding “Scott” scares her out of the library. Because of the alterations made, Fluttershy was removed from the story, save for mentioning her. [Sorry, Fluttershy! Next time!]
This story was originally going to be only 20 chapters long, ending when Sweetie Belle ran out of the clubhouse after first kissing Scootaloo. However, because there was already a story out there that did the same thing, I chose to extend the story by 9 chapters, later by 2 and a half more!
The original ending of the story was Chapter 29 [formally called “New Discoveries”] for many reasons. For starters, it was meant to have the readers make inferences about the ending, where or not everypony accepted the two of them as being together. Secondly, the focus of the story was on the two of them coming together, not really about anything else. However, I decided to extend the story by two and a half chapters to tie those loose ends up; everyone seemed to want a different ending and who was I to deny them? Furthermore, it was that sudden stop that was killing the story, according to many reviewers.
Sequels
The official sequel can be found here: "New Revelations"
Special Thanks
I would like to thank everyone and anyone who has read this story and decides to read it again in the near [or far] future. If it wasn’t for your motivation and interest in this story, I probably wouldn’t have continued the story! Thanks again for everything!
Overall
In the end, although I had my doubts about this story, it turned out to be one of my greatest stories yet [at least for now!] I am really glad that I went against myself and did this story! Honestly, I don’t know what would have been if not for my inspirations, but it probably wouldn't have been this!
Thanks for reading!
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Alright. Sequel.
Now I'm going to reread the whole thing... Thrice.
Anyways a sequel?
Excuse me while I go jump around in the air like an idiot.
I will be sure to read the sequel
Never a problem friend, I'm very glad for this story, I love CMC shipping and I'll be awaiting for the sequal.....doesthis mean I'll have to re-read it? Damn...oh well....better early then never lol, Would you like me to review the 'new' chapters as well?
Sequel?!
This was the first Scootaloo/Sweetie Belle ship fic I read after becoming a brony and I have to say that I think it is the best of the ones I've read. Good job on writing this wonderful story and I will patiently wait for the sequel. Good day
Wow... Now I have to reread this? Really? Do you know how long my backlog is? Jeez... Now I'll never finish reading everything. Well, better bump it to the top of the queue.
Upon review, I do remember the frequent Cupcakes references in this. And every time it came up, my first thought was "Stop doing that. It's a bad and stupid story. Stop talking about it." And there was always another.
Hmmm... I've read it. I've faved it. It appears in the feature box. I look at it and wonder why my fav-list won't sohw anothe chapter. Looked through my fav-list. It's not there!?
Going to refave and upvote it again.
Bronydragon
I'm going to re-read it (to read this extended version), while wating for the sequel.
1645997
Well, I understand you.
To be honest, I think that there's no need to put references to such stories into Romance stories.
It just distracts readers.
I approve of ScootaBelle!
Aww, but it's always so much fun watching women freak outdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png
Time for number fourteen!
Seriously, a sequel to New Discoveries? And I'll be in on the betting as far as I'm legally allowed?
This is what I get from getting a project that was supposed to be done over two and a half months ago in one night!
AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1645176>>1645281>>1645346>>1645367>>1645402>>1645426>>1645595>>1645670>>1645997>>1646029>>1647613>>1648509>>1649156>>1649473
You all must really want this storyline to continue! Thanks for all the support, mates!
1649491
Initial reaction
LOL! J/K!
1650759
No probs. Just keep it up like this.
Bronydragon
1650759
Do I want this storyline to continue? My answer is here!
1650759
1650985
Will i comply? Here is MY answer!
1651142
s18.postimage.org/egdw71lu1/g_VTJs.gif
1651289
You forgot one last (Yes)
1651902
Maybe...
Awesome! I read this first on Fanfiction.net, a few months back, and I was hoping to hear word of a sequel.
January can't come quickly enough.
And finally, the explanation behind the Cupcakes jokes. I had wondered about that. I kinda feel bad that you read that as your first fic. Mine was a mushy RainbowPie fic, it practically dragged me into the fandom. If it had been Cupcakes, it would have sent me screaming from it.
Now, I gotta read this "author's cut" version of the story, since I loved it so much the first time around, it should be even better the second!
1563619
It's so exciting so far... maybe New Discoveries didn't make the cut for 'revolutionary,' but I think you could still make the cut; I've read My Little Dashie before 'cuz most of the others I'm not old enough to read, and you hit us where it hurts like that story has; harder for me.
Yep!!!
If you did another pony-story along the lines of New Discoveries, or a stand alone, I could guarantee that I'll be right there. Maybe as a friend. Maybe as a fanfilly. Or an apprentice or a proofreader or as a queen.
While I'm kidding on some of that, I'm still paying close attention and giving you a well-deserved watch as we speak.
With forever excitement,
CluelessFilly
Sequel!
This...was awesome to read. I can't speak for anyone else but I do believe this story is revolutionary. It is only one of two Sweetie Belle X Scootaloo stories that I have read and liked and it is because of this story and Inner Sweetie Belle that I became a fan of the Scootabelle shipping.Just so you know, you succeeded with me at the very least.
SIDENOTE
After reading this I am determined to do the same with my finished stories and let people know all the crazy changes and rewrites that happened and things that were completely removed or thought of on the spot. I plan to credit you for this idea
Also I can't wait for the sequel to this!
1683564
As I stated. I cleared 11/12ths of the errors in this story. The few that I missed are there because I'm not perfect! Thanks, anyway. I R not mad!
You know those comments that just say, "10/10, would read again"? This isn't one of them. Grab your thickest skin, because this is going to be a bit brutal.
That was... hard to finish. I honestly came very close to quitting in the middle of the fic, and I don't do that very often. You have a decent concept and your technicals are fine, but the storytelling needed a lot of work.
First, you have this habit of repeating yourself up to three times in a row. Lines like, 'Sweetie Belle decided the best place to look would be Sugar Cube Corner. "Bye, Rarity! I'm going to Sugar Cube Corner!" She went to Sugar Cube Corner...' Entire scenes would go on like this, like when Sweetie dragged Scoots out to the treehouse to confess to her. I swear they went around the same tree four or five times. "What's this all about?" "Wait until we're alone." "Okay, but what's going on?" "Not yet." And on and on. Similarly, you kept retreading every character's conflicts as if we would forget them between chapters. The interesting part of a story like this is how the characters react to their internal conflicts, not what those conflicts are.
You spent a tremendous amount of time explaining the characters' motivations for every little thing they did. I'm not even kidding when I say I think that made up about a third of the story's length. This mostly falls into the "show, don't tell" category. Expositing a character's reasoning should be your last resort. It's boring and uninvolving. Instead, try to see if there's any way at all that you could express their thoughts and emotions through their actions or perceptions, or failing that, in dialogue.
Going to a different subject, you don't seem to have a good grasp of each character's voice. Can you really imagine Apple Bloom using the word "ergo"? Or Scootaloo saying, "We need to talk to you about something rather important"? Both of them have a pretty simple, informal way of speaking, and these terms don't fit. When you write dialogue, try to imagine the character saying that, and think about how those words sound coming out of their mouths. Does it sound like the way that character would express herself?
Finally, you spent what, six chapters wrapping up after Sweetie and Scoots' scene at the edge of the Everfree? After the climax of the story, every word you write drags more and more. It's to your benefit to get out as soon as possible. After Sweetie came out to Scoots, Rarity and Apple Bloom should have been no problem. And informing Apple Bloom offscreen and then telling us about it thirdhand? Not good. If it's not a plot point, then either don't write it, or at least let the reader be present for the event so you don't have to tell us about it later.
A few last notes involving my personal opinions:
I'm always a bit uncomfortable with fics that imply any level of homophobia in Equestria. That kind of bigotry doesn't seem to fit the setting, to my mind, and Sweetie worrying about the fact that Scoots is another filly seems almost off-topic when the core plot surrounds Sweetie realizing her feelings and the drama of whether Scoots will reciprocate or not. I don't mind heterosexuality being the norm -- as when Rarity assumed Sweetie's crush was a male -- but it makes me twitchy when that particular conversation goes beyond, "Actually, he's a she." "Oh! Well, who is it?"
The Cupcakes thing was distracting and very unpleasant to me. Every time someone brought up Dash's absence, it yanked me right out of the story you were trying to tell and reminded me of something I would really rather forget. And her paper-thin excuse at the end sounded a lot more like, "TROLOLOL she's not really dead! Gotcha!"
1789299
All I got out of your review was: "blah, blah, blah, you fail at writing, so quit now while you're ahead."
Another reader would probably say something in their defense, but I'm not like that.
I thank you for reading the whole thing and giving me feedback. I helps me to improve.
However, a strong word of advice: if you ever read any of my other stories [which I highly doubt you will] and you feel like rage quitting in the middle, just do that and spare yourself; don't waste your time reading my sorry a** excuses for stories.
Again, thanks a bunch for writing a strong review and have a nice day
1790196
"An error does not become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."
This story was okay to me (I read it entirely). But there are so many repetitions ! One particular example that ticked me off:
Luna and Sweetie Belle:
"Friends who have known each other for a long time often start to develop feelings for each other, especially at a young age like yours. There's no need to feel so uncomfortable about it."
Sweetie Belle lowered her head in shame. "Well, to be honest, that's not the real reason why I'm uncomfortable about it."
Twilight and Rarity :
“You see, two mares, or even two stallions, being together is as common as you may think. Sometimes, they develop feelings for each other, especially when they’ve known each other for a very long time,” explained Twilight, “Take Sweetie Belle, for example. She and Scootaloo have known each other for a very long time, haven’t they?”
I don't need to explain myself much here. I thought that Twilight and Luna were the same pony here. REALLY disturbing.
Now for the story itself,
-Suicidal Sweetie Belle... And Rarity doesn't even find out what she was doing ...
-Applejack being such an idiot ! Sweetie Belle could have died in Everfree Forest while Applejack was filling her belly with Rarity.
- In the end, Luna had good advices?
I have to agree with most of the points made by SilentCarto too... I think this story is a bit over-rated
1798819
I restate my point I made to "SilentCarto": I could give you the song and dance to try and justify myself, but I know that won't do any good. I know I fail and suck at writing and I've come to accept that fact that there will be readers and reviewers who are nice enough to point that out to me [no sarcasm intended].
Anyways, thanks a lot for taking the time out of your busy life only to waste it reading this sorry and pathetic excuse for a story. Have a nice day/night/fore-night/cookie monster!
1828768
Flawless Victory!
There is some horrible thing going on where I haven't faved this on here yet.
I may have read it on dA, but come on! This story deserves to be faved everywhere it's at!
1834507
at least YOU think it should!
1896622
LOL!
1909846
Here you go. Good luck...
2053325 Well, at least I can do something right, hm?
2057364
the true motivation for me writing for this fandom, mate!
2057546
Read the story's outro! It's all explained in there, mate!
The only criticism I have is that the "Cupcakes" references were very distracting and they detracted from the story itself.
2196695
I know. I couldn't help myself...
2226114
I R sad now
I'm sorry, I tried, but I can't get more than half way, everyone's voice just seems too off.
2277531
I'm sorry you feel that way. Thank you for trying and have a nice day.
1790196
Y'know he gave some good advice.
If you really value feedback you should've gotten more out of it than 'blah blah blah'. If he didn't think you could improve he wouldn't have offered it.
If I could favourite this fic multiple times, I would. I loved it. This is how i like my shipfics, characters being new to the "feeling" of romance and love, the INcredibly sad feeling plotline (the whole Scott thing), Unanswerd love between Sweetie and Scoots, it was just amazing.
You, Darkshadow051, are an amazing writer, and i really hope you will do more shipfics. Moustasches can't describe what i feel for this fic, only hearts can, and here are five of those.
2419577
thanks, mate. I'm glad you liked it
This was a fantastic story! Very well written and very creative! :)