Special thanks to flutterbythebay for fantastically editing this chapter.
"What did that little waste say?" asked Heavy Weight as Dim Shadow walked off.
"I think he said something like, ‘When I cry’." said one of the colts next to him. Heavy Weight laughed ominously.
"What’s so funny Heavy Weight?" asked another colt.
"I'm taking that, as a challenge." Heavy Weight said in the most satisfied voice anypony could ever imagine.
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"Can’t I live anywhere where this doesn't happen to me?" Dim Shadow asked himself as he walked away from the park. He looked behind his back to see if anyone was following him. "Hopefully not." he said that because he loved the feeling he got after belittling ponies that deserved it. It was his own drug of satisfaction and pride.
Okay where to go next? he thought to himself. Let’s see, it's a Tuesday, in summer, at twelve in the afternoon. Well that means just about everywhere will be filled with ponies. May as well check out the other parks, He thought. He decided to do just that and check out each park. They all seemed to be about 30 minutes away from each other, he didn't mind the traveling. And Dim Shadow reminded himself to try to make a mental map of the town as he made his progress.
Just like he had expected, every park was filled with ponies. An idea flashed through his mind as he looked at the busy playground in front of him. The park at the school! Ponies might not go there since it's at school, and no pony wants to be near a school during the summer, right?
Dim made his way to the schoolyard park, peacefully, and with no distractions other than the new buildings that were currently being constructed. He finally made his way to the red school house. As he walked up the hill he heard a noise. It wasn't the birds singing or the leafs rustling in their trees. No, it was something different. It was a loud crying. He could also detect the faint, sickening, sound of laughter. Curious, Dim went to check on what was happening.
"You're such a failure!" said Diamond Tiara in a mocking tone.
"Yeah, you're the worst out of the three of your stupid friends!" Silver Spoon sneered. She too spoke in that mocking tone that Dim Shadow so deeply despised.
"A unicorn that can't even use her magic? What a pathetic little waste of pony flesh!" rasped a colt.
"Pl . . . pl . . . please stop! I'm so sorry," Sweetie said whimpering and crying. "I didn't even do anything, please stop!"
Dim Shadow, upon hearing this, couldn't hold it back. He instantly ran to the other side of the building, enraged. This happened to ponies at his old town, but very rarely. When it did, he would get violent if he needed to. He didn't tolerate this kind of abuse to others, at all, what so ever. "This is going to be fun!" he said. He stepped between the four and yelled “I seriously recommend you three just stop talking right now, before I do something we will all regret!"
They all burst out into fierce fits of laughter.
"What are going to do about it? Who are you even?" Diamond Tiara spoke first.
"Who I am doesn't matter at the moment. What does matter is why you three are bullying this poor filly. It doesn't seem like she did anything." Dim said in a deadly serious voice.
"Oh, but she did!" exclaimed Silver Spoon, "She decided to show her ugly blank flank around town!"
"Who gives a flying feather if she doesn't have a cutie mark?! She's just as good as you three, wait no, I take that back because that's just an insult. Now, like I said, I recommend you three walk away and never bother her again."
"Excuse me?!" burst Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at the same time. "You can't talk to us like that!"
"I'll get my buddies down by the park at the edge of town to mess you up!" the other colt generically said.
"Them? From what I saw, they don't seem like a force to be reckon with. Some big, orange, idiot tried blocking my way out and I simply shoved him aside with no hassle. But that doesn't matter at the moment. What really matters is that you three leave here and do something else." Dim Shadow retorted.
"Wait... I think he's talking about Heavyweight!" said Diamond Tiara in a shocked voice.
"Yeah, he mentioned his name. Now get out of here!" Dim said very firmly.
"Or what?" challenged the colt.
"I will use force or whatever I have to do to make you leave.” Dim warned the colt coldly. He shifted his gaze to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “'ll guess you two will dash when its clear he can't do anything."
"I'd take you down in a second!" said the colt with a grin.
"Fine, go ahead; punch me as hard as you can. I won't do a thing." Dim said in a smug voice, he puffed out his chest just to show that he meant it.
"Okay, if you insist. By the way, my name's Rider, and I'm the top in my class for boxing." And with that, Rider forced all his strength into one punch filled with anger and pride, and swung with his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes, he couldn't believe them. All his medals and trophies seemed worthless for the time being. Dim Shadow was standing there, in the same place. He had not moved at all. Rider then ran off in hurry thinking that Dim Shadow would punch back.
That hurt like tartarus, but don't show that it did. Dim thought to himself, biting his lip to distract himself.
"You'll wish that never happened! I . . . I'll get ponies to make you regret coming here!" said Diamond Tiara in an uncomfortable voice.
"When I cry." said Dim. He took one step forward and the other two ran off. He and the injured filly were alone.
"Okay, let me help you up. What's your name?" Dim Shadow asked as he turned to hoist the delicate stranger off the ground.
"Sweetie Belle and th-" She cut off when she looked into his bright eyes. As the two stared at each other, a spark ignited. Dim Shadow knew that Sweetie Belle had sensed it too.
yeah
Cute story! I love Sweetiebelle. It's a little fast moving at some points but it is a very interesting idea, I'm definitely going to watch this!
a few spelling errors but you did a great job with the story so far
Thank you very much good sir. This is my first fanfic too, I'm going to fix it right away.
I apologize for this comment right now, and I promise to read this story later... but whenever I read the title I think of Boys Who Cry, and then I proceed to burst out laughing.
I really like the story and the idea, but at times it feels more like you're telling us what happened rather than showing us, and some of your explanations feel out of place. For example, "He decided to turn left and started to head down the old road. Being under the trees and walking through the grass always put him in a good mood," feels more natural than, "He chose to walk through the path in the forest because being there always made him feel better."
You have a really good idea and great ideas for individual scenes, you just need to work a little more on making the words seem more natural and less forced.
2091375
Dont remind me of that
why do i feel like i just got trolled?
this fic is awesome
This is a story that is simply great
When I cry!what does it mean?!!!
Cue romance.
WHAT THE FREAKING HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! This is amazing!!!!!!!! I absolutley am hooked at this point, and I can identify with your OC easily! I love his phrase too, think I get what he means, may use it myself, too. Great job!
PS... I love his cutiemark