Feather is half changeling half pony. She was raised in the hive and looks like a changling. That is why she doen"t live with her dad like her sister does. When she was 15 she left to find her dad and sister. She meets up with two ponies from her past. One ready to help the other ready to watch her life fall apart.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There is a black alicorn on your avatar. It made my eye twitch.
It's made in pony creator. Just like the cover pic for this story. This won't end well. I see chapters under 1000 words in length, which makes it even worse.
OK.
DETAILS. Use them. First "chapter" contains waaay too much dialog and no descriptions whatsoever. Your grammar is not as horrible as it could be, so I'll leave it for somebody else to bash.
DAT PLOT. Is generic. I mean, c'mon. She flies to Ponyville, where she meets main6 and Pinkie Pie throws her A PARTY! Yay.
DAT CHARACTER. Is... Well, actually, it isn't. I just don't feel like there is a main character in there for some reason. Nor do I feel like feeling for your nonexistent character. Also, half-changeling, daughter of Chrysalis? I smell a mary-sue. Not to mention that this whole thing is biologically impossible.
Take this thing down and rewrite it.
Not sure who's talking in the dialogue. Can you make a bit more clearer?
Ugh! This is NOT a mane 6 story. This is a story mainly involving the cutie mark crusaders. But you can't have the crusaders without ponyville and you cant have ponyville without the mane 6!
OH GOD CHRIST THIS STORY IS REALLY FUCKING BAD. I THINK IM GONNA PUKE *pukes everywhere. myfacewhen.net/uploads/92-what-the-fuck-is-this-shit.jpg WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A MONSTROSITY.