This is a pony war story. The story will be serious above all else. I started posting this on here, got a comment that really hurt me as a writer, but realized nopony has any right to tell you that you can't write how you want. It is not disrespectful to write with an alicorn, and it won't stop me from writing and posting this story, or any other. I will rate appropriately, and anypony with a problem is welcome to voice their opinion, but I will continue writing, and expressing my love for MLP by creating my stories.
Now, the story revolves around four ponies in particular. Twilight, Celestia, Raven (OC), and Angel (OC), though the rest of the mane six will pick up more later. Darkness starts to overtake Equestria, and unicorns are left without magic. Unbeknownst to the citizen's of Ponyville, an evil pony, seeking revenge and the throne, has begun to wage war against Celestia, and has even attacked Canterlot. However, when an alicorn named Angel Heart appears in Ponyville they begin to understand whats going on, and set off to Canterlot to find Celestia. What they find is more than they expect, and the innocent ponies of Equestria are dragged into a war that has been waiting to finish for thousands of years.
Your story actually sounds interesting, so I'm going to withhold my judgement till the time I can actually set aside the time to properly read it.
Right here and now though, I do have a little bit of advice.
Get different cover art.
If you want to avoid getting mean letters/comments, find cover art that isn't made with the pony maker.
People see Pony Maker= Mary Sue characters.
You already have an Alicorn OC, so you really don't need the added bias of having pony maker cover art too.
After all, no-one wants the massive influx of auto-dislikes that comes with the assumption of yet another self-insert Sue story.
I wish you luck in all your writing, and will make sure to read this later at some point.
1954773 Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! I'm just now starting to get how to properly draw ponies, so when I get a pic drawn that I like I'll replace the art, and same for my profile pic. I just want something up that resembles the characters, you know? Haha, anyways, I will definitely take your advice, and thanks for giving it a chance!
Some advice on your writing, not to be spiteful, but to try and help your writing. When you have a pony speaking, it's usually best to space the quote out from the paragraphs. Reading some popular stories may give you an idea of what I mean, and the structure of one. Then when somepony speaks, you would want to use "said" instead of "says." If you're telling a story, you need to use past tense to describe the action, because it already happened.
I'm not going to berate you for using an Alicorn OC, I know writers can use a pony like that and make it work through talented writing. It's not impossible, but just be wary of readers and fans deciding it's a mary-sue before taking a glance at the story and according to their judgement. Lastly I would say use some vivid details in your writing.
Such as,
"Twilight stomped her hoof in frustration. She learned not to let her emotions get the better of her, but the unicorn was beyond irritated."
As I've said, just some suggestions. I applaud you for your dedication to writing, and hope to see you write legendary stories in the future.
Good luck, and happy writing!
Using the pony creator might be tempting, but it's usually better to utilize some generic vectors or scenery.
Hm, this story seems pretty interesting. Gah, I don't have time to read it now, but will definitely read later and give proper feedback and such and such.
wonderofchildren.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/keep.gif
INSTA HATE
Well I just read the description >_<
Not even going to bother with the fic now.
That is not a way to draw the reader in, lad.
Nopony wants to hear about your hater experiences.