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Always and Forever

Her mane swirled around her like leaves in wind, but did little to hid the tears that ran down her face. Though her pupil was gone, her question lingered in the air like smoke upon leather. To many memories were brought back-and although she was not the first to ask, this would be the first time she would answer, and wait for the right time to let her know.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Schwarzwald

Schwarzwald #1 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

Wow just...Wow this...you almost made me weep.

And this is your first fic ...Nice job.

No constructive criticism from this pony here ^_^.

wYvern

wYvern #2 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

Hey, I really liked your fic. The only criticism I can think of is your dashes. As they represent a pause, I'd give them a space to either side, or make a longer one. they became positively confusing in that one sentence:

"To my love, I ask you never give up on love-for I-love-will always triumph over death as long as you have a heart to give."

Good stuff nonetheless!

foppp

foppp #3 · Jan 5th, 2013 · · ·

i was crying by the time i finished it, , it's really good! btw, im new here and i know this has nothing to do with the story, but could you/any1 who's reading this, tell me how to up load stories? i wrote it in the long description cause i didn't know where else to put it, but i know that's not right case it won't let me upload it. beeee sooo greatful if u replied!!! thx!