The rise and fall of the Elements of harmony

by Hiyatt12341

Prologue: Discord's defeat and the children

"So my little ponies what did you- "

"DISCORD STAY AWAY FROM THEM" Celstia yelled as she got up from where she laid.

"Oh Celestia you don't know when to give up don't you?" Discord said as he walked up to her.

"You will die for whatever you did to them." She said with pure hate as she looked at the mane 6 (they were frozen in place in shock).

"But Celestia how can that happen?" Discord said.

"Because we won't let you win Discord!" Twilight yelled.

The mane 6 nodded as the elements of harmony appeared on their neck and a tiara on Twilight's head. They went in formation and a rainbow shot out and hit Discord turning him into stone. He didn't even flinch he just smiled because he knew his job was done.

"Oh Twilight are all okay?" Celestia said hugging Twilight.

"Yes Princess." Twilight said but pushed the princess away.

"We have to go now Princess Celestia." Twilight said in a rush.

"Oh then you may go home then." Celestia said.

---

The mane 6 took a train back to Ponyville but something was different with them, it looked like they had no emotion even Pinkie Pie didn't smile. It was real silent on the train until Applejack broke it.

"Ya'll think what Discord showed us could actually happen?"

"Maybe if we just do it the way he showed us then we will get what we want." Twilight said.

"Yeah then after we get it we could throw a party!" Pinkie said.

They all started to giggle and their coats got a little darker as they giggled.

---

"Spike, Dawn I'm home!" Twilight called out.

"Hey mom." Dawn said.

Dawn was 16 years old unicorn and her coat was light purple and had dark blue mane. Her cutie mark was tiny stars because she loved looking at the stars and pointed to the stars and constellations to her mom everynight. She loved reading books and was a student of Princess Luna. Dawn loved playing with her friends she grew up with.

"Hey Twilight." Spike said.

Spike was taller than Twilight now.

"So what did the princess want mom?" Dawn ask.

"Oh we just had to fight Discord again." Twilight said

"Oh ok." Dawn said.

---

"Sweetie bell, Ruby I'm back!" Rarity yelled.

"Hey sis I'm going to hang out with Applebloom and Scootaloo." Sweetie bell said as she asked passed her and went out the door.

"Hey mom are we going gem hunting again with Spike soon i can't wait to find more gems." Ruby asked.

Ruby was 17 year old unicorn and had a white coat and her mane was ruby red. Her cutie mark was a red heart gem (like the one spike gave Rarity) because her love of gems and fasion (like her mom). She wasn't a drama queen like her mom and really didn't care about getting dirty when needed. Whenever she had spare time she would go to the library to see Dawn.

"Probably later but not right now, I'm really tired. Do you think you could finish the dresses I started yesterday?"

"Sure." Ruby replied and went to the work room.

---

"Is anyone home?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"Mom your home!" Flower said running up to her mom to give her a big hug.

Flower is a 17 year old pegasus. Her coat is yellow and her mane is light green. Her cutie mark is a heart next to a flower because she could grow food faster and bigger. She loves and can communicate to all animals (like her mom). She is not shy at all, she always visits her friends when they're not doing anything and is good at flying.

"So how are the animals? Did something bad happen? Oh I wasn't gone too long." Fluttershy said lookin for the animals because her cottage was empty except her and Flower.

"Mom calm down they just went for a picnic." Flower said calming her mom down.

"Oh ok." Fluttershy said.

---

"Lightning, Tornado open the door! I left my keys on my bed!" Rainbow called out.

"Oh no mom is home what do we do?" Tornado whispered to Lightning.

Tornado dash was a 18 year old Pegasus, he has a light grey coat and his mane was black and white. His cutie mark is a lightning bolt because he was like his mom but he was faster then her, she was surprised when he beat her at age 10.

Lightning dash was 16 years old Pegasus, he has a white coat and a rainbow mane. His cutie mark was a balloon next to a tornado because he loved to party and made a mess of things. He and his brother are best friends with Chocolate.

"Fine have it that way." Rainbow said as she turned around and bucked the door down.

"Hey why didn't you o-" Rainbow said before she looked inside the house.

"Mom we can explain." Lightning said.

"Wh-what did you do?! You destroyed this house! This is why you guys can't be home alone I should of hired a babysitter! Go up to your rooms now." Rainbow yelled.

"Bu-" Tornado said.

"NOW!" Rainbow screamed.

Out of fear, Tornado and Lightning flew as fast as they can to their rooms.

" Hey Rainbow dash I'm back from cam-. Whoa what happen?" Scootaloo flew in.

"I honestly don't know what they did it's like a tornado got in here. Those boys are lucky clouds are easy to shape."

" I was gonna hang out with Sweetie and Apple bloom but do you need help?" Scootaloo asked.

"Nah. This is nothing, remember when they were younger they set the old house on fire." Rainbow dash said.

"Oh yeah. They did the impossible. I mean really how do you set a cloud on fire." Scootaloo said.

---

"Hey everypony I'm home!" Applejack yelled.

"Hey big sis. I'm gonna go hang out with Sweetie bell and Scootaloo.

"Ok but y'all better stay safe." Applejack said.

"Hey mom if your looking for uncle Mac he's in the orchard with Chocolate." Appleflower said.

"Okay thanks Appleflower. Tell them I'm in my room if they need something." Applejack said.

"Okay" Appleflower said.

Chocolate Apple a 17 year old stallion.Chocolate has a brown mane and a orange coat. Chocolate's cutie mark is a chocolate covered apple with sprinkles because he made 15 chocolate apples in 2 minutes. His mom named him chocolate because she lost to Rainbow Dash in a bet. Chocolate loves to play with Tornado and Lighting when their not grounded.

Appleflower is 18 year old mare. She has a yellow mane and a pink coat. Her cutie mark is a apple surrounded by peddles because she loves watching the apple flower peddles blow outside. She plays with her mom's friends' children when she is done with her chores. Her and her brother get along fine.

---

"Cherry I'm home!" Pinkie said as she hoped in her house.

" hello?" Pinkie said as she went in the dark room.

" SURPRISE!" Everypony jumped out of their hiding place.

"Happy welcome back party Mom! Mom?"

Pinkie was holding her chest then fell to the ground.

"Mom!" Cherry said as she ran to her mom.

"Fooled you." Pinkie said as she bounced up to her feet.

"Nice prank mom, I'll get you back someday." Cherry said.

"Sure you will. Now lets get this party started!" Pinkie said.

"Yeah!" Everypony yelled.

Cherry is a 15 year old mare. She has a pink coat and a red mane (it's the same style as her mother's.) she could take a prank no matter how mean it is. Her cutie mark is 4 balloons and confetti. She loves to tell jokes, have parties and most of all pulling pranks. She helps the cakes bake sometimes. But most of her time she plays with her mom's friends children.

Author's Note:

The fight and what they saw will come later in the chapters.

Comments

[Justy]

I'm going to apologize to a couple of people whose writing I called shitty earlier.

[ShittyMKSound]

o no not the kiddies

[Hiyatt12341]

At people who are gonna be a jerk
DONT COMMENT

[The Guy on Your Right]

2026408 Easy there big eye. I could easily know who this people are just by looking at their username. And I guess there are one of those people who reviews story mixing it with a little bit bragging.

[Gherkin]

Alt. Title: The Rise and Fall of Twilight Stardust and the Elements from Mars.

That was a joke, by the way, before you get all jumpy and delete this comment as well.

[Brosparkles]

This comment will probably get deleted, seeing as three other comments were deleted all at the same time, (Most likely for having an opinion.) but your writing could use some work. Lots of grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and no real plot. So you've introduced your characters, but have them doing nothing. For a fight with Discord, they all seemed awfully calm about what had gone down. I may be a bit biased, as I tend to dislike whenever OC's are created which are related to the mane 6. This story is all dialogue, with no description of the area around them or their actions. Because of this, the story seems to take place in a void, where everypony is standing around motionless except for an occasional movement, such as standing up or getting on a train that appeared from nowhere in the same area where Discord was fought. Commas seem to be something your story lacks, as everything just goes straight on ahead, without a single break. The established characters don't follow their personalities, and the OC's have no personality.This could work, but needs a lot of improvement. englishchick.com/gifs/badfanfic.gif

Sincerely, Brosparkles

[Jewbacca]

Your vindictively counterproductive action of deleting comments is very, very detrimental to your success.

This will probably be deleted as well, but you have to look at the comments in a helpful light instead of being a complete douchebag and deleting our comments. Think, maybe they can be helpful, I mean, anyone that's insecure will probably lash out for discredit to their stories, I did, once, but I learned that it was to help me. Learn from this.

Also, Bing's for pussies, real men use AskJeeves.

What, you thought I was gonna say "Google?" Please, act like a gentleman.

[Hiyatt12341]

Know what I'll just ignore all you. This is so stressful.

[Gherkin]

2028400 Come on, don't be a pussy. You're not going to be well liked on this site if you go around being a dick (ie. deleting comments) and ignoring criticism, and if people don't like you, they're not going to read your work. Ergo, it's better to be nice and listen to what people have to say, as it can help you improve, write better stories, and get more readers.

[Hiyatt12341]

2028816 oh my gosh. You act like I'm the only person on the hole website that deletes a few comments and I take advice not fuckin insults like people calling me a pussy!

[Gherkin]

2032737 No, it's the same little speech I give to any other egotistical author such as yourself who think they're God's greatest gift to writing, and that nothing they write can be bad. Let me tell you something: you're not. Now please, don't be a dick. I tried to give you some advice in my previous comment, but you threw it back in my face.

[munomana]

2032737 Sorry, but people don't like it when authors delete comments. It shows the author as a coward who can not take a few bad comments.

One thing that you need to have a successful story is to leave an impression as an author. Shouting obscenities won't show you off as a good person.