this is a cross-over between the sots-universe and the universe we all know and love.
Truth be told, the entire story is just a lame excuse to put two brilliant morons in all kinds of entertaining situations.
This is my first fan-fic, so I have no idea how this works, English isn't my first language and I have no idea how I should write a story. Not that a lack of knowledge ever stopt me from doing something stupid.
Why the sots-universe you may ask? Because I like the lore.
Don't know the sots-universe you say. crawl from under your rock and google it.
If you think this story is crap, I would appriciate some constructive criticism.
If you think this story has a future, give a like
If you think this is great and well written, you're probably suffering from fatal brain damage. Don't worry it will be over soon
ps: sots = sword of the stars
sniff....my first comment.....I'm so happy
thank you very much
I personally think you should keep doing writing the story personally i've found it hilarious!
i find it sad that there are writers who would stop a story because they don't get much in responses rather than continue writing the story for their own entertainment
i know, but I'm used to thinking up stories just for my own entertainment. I never write it down because I have it in my head.
i seem to have a lot of trouble with writing things down and keeping it up.
and to tell you a little secret, I've just pulled this story out of my ass and I was hoping for a bit of publical participation in thinking of fun things to do in the story, and this is difficult if no one leaves a comment.
But you are absolutly right, stopping because of a lack of response is for fools. And I'm not a fool... Okay maybe I am, but I'm no idiot
your comment is appreciated and I will see this as a request to continue.
; )
1953611
Sigh. I don't want you to feel
but I only liked Chapter 1. I'm still favoriting this story and am watching for new chapters here or in your next story.
Ok so I will compare a few things.
Voidrunner (Halo crossover) had them land a spaceship on Equestria so there soon was some sci-fi to mix in with Equestria to jusify the crossover. And then a huge war that ended when the UNSC came with overwhelming force.
My little GLADOS (Portal crossover) had the mad scientist GLADOS soon do some mad science stuff to justify that crossover.
Sword of Equestria (SotS 2 crossover) is basically a combination of fiction and an after-action report so it will have lots of cool space battles to justify the crossover.
Pericynthion (Ender's Game crossover) had Ender face many challenges in the Everfree after his escape pod crashed, have nightmares, and be judged by the ponies for his Xenocide, to justify the crossover.
Your story after Chapter 1 is just 2 angry brothers fighting. And not-funny fourth-wall breaking (it can be fun, Pinkie can do it, but when you tried it didn't work). I understand that you seem to not want to have epic conflict with your story and you want it to more be like a series of gags and that is ok. But you need to start making gags about sword of the stars, not just angry brothers. And yes a decent story. Say Celestia freaks out about all of those dangers out in space and then either tries to create a space program for Equestria or decides which SotS empire to join as a Protectorate. Then the alien races react to the ponies in funny ways. The Hivers think that the Diarchs are far too willing to put themselves in danger, the Tarka thinking they are "wimps", the Liir going squee?, etc.