//------------------------------// // Why you shouldn't piss her off // Story: The sword of the...ponies? // by JHCcasper //------------------------------// Why you shoudn't piss her off (or: couldn't you find a longer title)(awnser: yes, this one) The sun was shining on the grassy plains, in the plain there stood one big, tall oak tree and leaning against the trunk of the tree, with his hoofs behind his head, sat a black Pegasus with a white face. “You know what, Casper.” He said. “This world is quite nice, everything is bright, the entire place seems to radiate compassion, love and friendship and for once we can take it slowly. No one hunting us for crimes against the rights of intelligent live forms or the director out for our heads because of some ‘unfortunate accident’.” “Oh whoop the fucking doo, what luck that we ended up in a world filled with cranky, ridiculously colored, and named, creatures of which some have wings and some have psionic powers. And by the way, those crimes against intelligent live forms were all your fault as was our latest ‘unfortunate accident’ as you call it. Now if you would be so kind as to… GET ME THE FUCK DOWN!!! OR I WILL SPIT ON YOUR HEAD YOU SON OF A ZUUL!!! Jasper looked up and on one of the branches of the tree he could see his brother. Rainbow Dash wasn’t very pleased when Casper had laughed with her name. She had picked him up (she was surprisingly strong) and she had flown him to nearest tree and tied his tail to one of the branches his brother all the while screaming indignantly after which she had just flown off. “And how am I supposed to get you down, I can’t even reach you.” Jasper said Casper rolled his eyes. “You have wings, fool. You just fly up here like she did and untie me.” “But I don’t know how to fly.” He retorted. “You have studied the Morrigi for years! Sure you must have learned something about how the fly.” “yes, but studying something that flies is a lot different from flying yourself. And most Morrigi I saw in the air, were falling from the sky after I shot them with a stunner.” “Yeah, I still remember that. They kept chasing us for years. Nevertheless, you should just try it. You got to learn it at some point because we might be stuck in these bodies for some time.” “Then why don’t you try to use your psionic powers, at least you’re not in danger of crashing into a tree when you try.” “Wait, I got psionics. How could you possibly know that!” “When you were chasing me I got bored and I started to look at the creatures we passed and I noticed those with horns levitating stuff.” “You were bored!” Casper said, feeling a bit offended. “I was trying to kill you and you were screaming like a little girl.” “Just so you know, I was certainly not screaming like a little girl. But like a man. A manly man” “Yeah, a manly man with purple socks.” “Hey!, those socks are very fashionable. And you can’t blame me for wanting to bring some color in my wardrobe.” “Color with a teddy bear motif” Casper chuckled. “Okay, that’s it! You can untie yourself! For a genius like you doesn’t need the help of a purple sock wearing little girl like me! I’ve seen a little town a few miles to the east, I will wait for you there.” “hey wait!, you can’t leave me hanging like this.” “Sure I can, look I’m doing it right now, watch me doing it.” Jasper got on all fours and started walking in the direction of a little village that could be seen in the distance. “Hey!...Hey!...Jasper!….Jasper come back! I didn’t mean it like that. Come on don’t leave me like this… Jasper?...Brother?....Okay, fine. Who needs you anyway! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself!” After waiting a few minutes to see if his brother had indeed abandoned him, Casper started to think of a way to get out of this mess. And, like any person that tries to concentrate he mumbled to himself (okay, so maybe not everybody mumbles to himself to concentrate but I do! I’m even mumbling right now while I’m writing (Typing? (brackets between brackets?)) this down). “Hmm…let’s see. Jasper mentioned something about psionic powers. Okay, focus…focus…fooocuuuus.” Suddenly he felt a strange tinkling sensation at the tip of his horn. He could feel the power flow around his body, he let out a diabolical laugh. Than his face slammed against the tree trunk. “Aaah!...what the…!?, why….ouch. Okay…let’s try that again, shall we.” Again he started to focus and again he felt the tinkling sensation, but this time he was more careful, letting the power slowly envelop his body. Than he shot upwards, bumping his head against the branch to which he was tied. “AAAA! I hate this!, I hate this world!, I hate…” His rant was interrupted by a cracking sound. He looked up his eyes wide open with shock as he saw a large crack in the branch that was growing wider. He had to do something and fast. And then he got an idea. He focused again, let the energy envelop him and as he shot back upwards he grabbed hold of the branch. He was desperately fumbling at the knot in his tail as he saw the crack growing wider and wider. And then, just when all seemed lost…Oh happy day…The knot was disentangled, he was loose! And then he fell. He saw the ground come closer at a sickening speed. And as he sailed there through the air towards certain doom he had a flashback. It was at his twelfth birthday party, well, that of him and his brothers. His father was standing before him. “Son, congratulations with your birthday, and here is your present.” He said as he handed over a book. “Now I know that animals are more your brothers thing, but I thought you might find it interesting. It’s a book about extinct animal species and even about a few mythological ones. ” “Oh, thank you dad. A book about dead and nonexistent animals. I must be the luckiest kid on this side of the galaxy.” He said with so much sarcasm it almost burned through his vocal chords. “Now don’t be like that. Here, look at this.” He said as he opened the book. “Here, that’s a horse. And this here is a pony, see. It has hoofs…and a mane… and a cute tail. And look at this mythological creatures. This is a unicorn and this a pegasus .” His dad said, pointing each one out in the book. “Dad, all those animals look the same. And so what, it’s a book. I wanted a bicycle.” “humpf…you ungrateful little brat; Why back in my they we would…oh, it looks like the flashback is coming to an end.” “What?...why?” “Because you are about to hit the ground.” He opened his I eyes and screamed one last thing. “PONIES!” And then he hit the ground, head first. A sickening crack could be heard and the few bird that were sitting in the tree, K…I…S….S…I…wait that’s not right….eh…I mean… ahem…The birds flew away, the only witnesses to the tragedy that had transpired.