• Published 24th Dec 2012
  • 303 Views, 19 Comments

Crazy Times and Rainy Days - Gruekiller

A human woman, trapped in a world of colorful equines, struggles to remain undercover as a pony in the craziest town in Equestria until she can find a way back home.

  • ...

Day Two, Part One: Breakfast at Fluttershy's

I guess having an entire genome realigned tires a girl out, because I had the longest sleep of my life that night. It had still been late in the afternoon when I fell asleep, and, by my estimate as I peered blearily through the window at the side of the bed in Fluttershy's guest room, it was somewhere about eight in the morning. That discerned, I rolled onto my back, lifting a forelimb to examine it. Yep. Still a horse. Dammit. Having finished bemoaning my lot in life, I disentangled myself from the covers. I had all of one hoof set on the floor before I rolled, head over... 'heels'? ... and landed flat on my face. "What the hell...?"

I lifted that forelimb to have a closer look. Oh, didn't I just go over this? Still a horse. As it turns out, quadrupedal locomotion wasn't exactly my expertise. My gracious host had lent me some heavy assistance in getting there the previous night, but now I was on my own, with only my four, treacherous hooves for company.

All right, Emily. Let's take this slowly. I braced the quartet of limbs underneath me, gradually lifting myself to stand on all fours. After a bit of tottering and trying to locate my new center of gravity, I was standing steadily with what felt like a natural stance. So far so good... although as soon as that thought crossed my mind and I began to move, I was back where I started, carefully studying the patterns in the wood floorboards. A minute or two later I had regained my progress, and took my first, precarious step.

Oh! This wasn't so hard, even if it was... really, really weird. But then, what part of this whole experience wasn't? At the very least, having an additional two limbs supporting you when you stand lends you a great deal of stability. My pride took a back seat to another, more unpleasant sensation a moment later when I realized I hadn't had a chance to, well... go since I arrived in this god-forsaken land of ponies. My eyes gravitated to the doorway of the conjoining bathroom - and its wonderfully slippery-looking, tile floor - and then to my brand, spankin' new hooves, which lacked any sort of traction whatsoever.


After a lovely ride on the Slip n' Slide, I pulled my bruised flank out of the bathtub, precariously wobbling over to the sink. With my forehooves on the counter to steady myself, I took stock of what was inside the room: the aforementioned bathtub into which I had barreled moments before, the sink over which I was leaning and... no toilet? What the hell kind of a bathroom doesn't have a toilet?!

With a heavy sigh of disgruntlement, I hazarded a glance up at the mirror, turning my attention instead to the first good look I had gotten at my new body.

For those of you who have never looked into a mirror and seen your entire appearance changed utterly, let me just say that it's a pretty discombobulating thing to experience. Like the other ponies I'd seen thus far, I had a far shorter, more expressive face than any earthly equine, with large eyes, a small snout, and a pair of big ears. There, my appearance departed from the six ponies I had met so far. My coat was a blue a few shades darker than that of the rainbow-maned pegasus, and the irises of my eyes had turned a bright lavender. The only similarity to my old self that remained was my mane, at a stretch. It was about the same length and style as before, just messier and of a much lighter hue of yellow. I could only examine myself for so long before getting a bad case of the heeby-jeebies. This was just too weird for me to digest in one sitting.

Well, I certainly wasn't feeling any better than I had when I crashed into the place, but maybe Fluttershy knew somewhere else that I could find a toilet. Only slightly more gracefully than before, I slid out of the bathroom, heaving a sigh (this time of relief) upon reaching the hardwood floor. With an uneasy canter, I reached the hallway, where I was greeted by the faint smell of food sizzling on a skillet, and Fluttershy's voice in musical tones, drifting through the house. I guess I know where to find the kitchen.

The further I moved, the more sure in my movements I became, until my canter became a brisk trot. I couldn't help the proud smile that crossed my face. Hell, as long as I didn't encounter any more impediments like the floor in the bathroom...

As I rounded the corner into the den, I was greeted by an enormous bag of chicken feed, which had fallen over, spilling thousands of tiny, round grains all over the path into the kitchen.

My eye twitched.

Some moments later, my badly bruised blue flank came tumbling into the kitchen. Running a hoof through my mane to scatter the poultry food caught therein, I glanced up to meet the eyes of Fluttershy, who was holding a plate of pancakes out to me expectantly. "You must be starving," she said, voice soft and friendly. "Breakfast?"

Author's Note:

Hey, guys! Stuff happened and I didn't do jack shit on this story, but here's... something! More updates coming very soon.