• Member Since 30th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Fluttershy Auditore


Nulla è reale, tutto è lecito. Requiescat in pace.

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When Flaming Sapphire takes a mugger off the streets of Manehatten to care for the homeless mare, he finds visions of his past assaulting him at every turn, nopony to tell. Except one, the mare he just helped. But why should he? And why, of all times, is his magic failing?

Just a little something to introduce my OC, Flaming Sapphire, and give him a backstory.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 17 )

Did anyone on the way here kill a Red Spy?

1782675 I was expecting those kind of comments. :trixieshiftleft:

1782760 And for the record, Sapphire'd be a BLU Spy. :trollestia:

This story's all right, I guess. The main character is a pretty likable guy, IMO, but your dialogue needs a bit of work.

(Joke) Alt. Title: The Writer Who Ran (Out Of Ideas)

1809931 Clever, clever. I'll have to watch myself around you. :ajbemused:

Lol, gamer, you do realise that this is only the tip of the iceberg? :moustache:

I like it!
I feel like it needs a few more details, and a little more content, but seeing as how this is just an intro I suppose it's alright.
You should split it up into paragraphs more than you have, it makes it a little longer, and easier to read if the ideas are split apart. Then it doesn't seem like such a run on.
I didn't notice too many mistakes, and I like the plot.
Now to read the rest of it!

2458182 What seems to be the problem sir? :trollestia:

2483629 Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaa! :pinkiecrazy: But yes, that happened.

All right, I guess this fic is pretty much dead in the water, but as you clearly appreciate my man Birdy, I feel honor-bound to give you this link: mcmurdoscamp.wordpress.com

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