Author Notes for Draft 2
Right. So I wasn't happy with the last one:
- Poor pacing
- Lack of Description
Both of which meant there wasn't a chance to build tension (which surely is the most important part of writing 'darker' fics?
However, lack of time shouldn't be an excuse in the pursuit of improvement.
So rather that just edit the old one, I left it as it was and just built on it in a new 'chapter', more to show where 'improvements' have been made, and to track changes.
I'm a lot happier with this one:
- Added more to the beginning to reinforce what sort of predicament RD is in.
- Added a bit at the end to clear up that dead pony wasn't Rarity (He / she is just some random pony)
However, there is no doubt in my mind that it could be improved, so leave feedback, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :)
1748577
Nope, just some random pony.
Don't worry. Rarity's fine
1783101
Basically, the pony that Dash killed was another pony who got caught by the Diamond Dogs, made a break for it but wound up getting lost, and has been wandering the caves ever since.
3546226
Firstly, I'm impressed you found the story. Thought it was doomed to the depths of Fimfic.
Basically, the pony that Dash killed was another pony who got caught by the Diamond Dogs, made a break for it but wound up getting lost, and has been wandering the caves ever since.